Disclaimer: It's at the top of the volcano!
The Inner Demon Chapter 14: The Blues-Nerima Neumonia 1
Velius crouched in front of an unconsious Ranma Saotome on a rooftop. The pigtailed boy neither moved nor did Velius. It so happened that the Great Necromancer's parents had bought him a new uniform just two days ago to replace the one with the fish goop on it ( Nabiki, that jerk! ) and would likely be displeased that those were now in tatters, not to mention the K.O.'d martial artist.
"What am I gonna do!? Mom's gonna kill me!"
Part 1: Perverted Happosai, Shampoo's Great Grandmother?
"Eat all of your ramen, deary! " Happologne cackled at a very pale Genma Saotome.
"He bangs his fist against the post, but still he sees the ghost, " Genma muttered repeatedly.
"He's not very stable, is he? " Happologne asked Shampoo, half lidded.
"He father of Kamaitachi, " Shampoo informed the shiveled... whatever it was.
"I see, " It turned back to Genma, "I wish for your son to marry my great grandaughter. "
Genma turned very seriously to the midget and replied with the sum of his wit, "Check please. "
Shampoo handed the stuttering man the check.
He sobered from his hysterical mood instantly, "130,000 yen!!"
"Yes, well, you ordered our most expensive item for the entire house. Twice, " Happologne explained.
"Put it on my tab? " Genma asked hopefully. He was answered by a half lidded stare. "Heh heh, but I only have 10,000 yen... "
"On you?"
"Uh, I only have 10,000... anywhere... "
"..."
"..."
"How about your son? "
"He has no money (that I know of...) "
"How about his hand? "
"A martial artist's LIFE is his hands! "
"No, you fool! His hand in marriage! "
"That kind of thing isn't legal in this country, you monster! "
"Idiot! " the diminutive demon slapped the back of Genma's head, "To Shampoo! "
"I may be stupid, and I may be drunk, " Genma narrowed his eyes at what might be his master, "But I'm not stupid or drunk enough to engage my only son to another girl. "
"Hmmm... " Happologne rubbed her hands together deviously, "That can be remedied... "
Ryoga rubbed his hands together. After dark, it had gotten much colder than he'd expected. He was on foot with Kashin, not wanting to attract another flying monster. He intended to find the source of the explosion that he'd heard on the barge. If there was anything he could do to help the victims...
"Hey, Mr. Stampede! " a male voice called out from an alley.
Ryoga turned to see Konatsu leaning against a wall, arms folded, "She's nothing but trouble, isn't she? " He gave ryoga a sidelong glance.
"Haru..?" Ryoga's eyes darted from the man to the direction he'd been heading in. He ran ahead full speed.
Kashin hesitated as he saw that Konatsu's normally immaculate suit was wrinkled and dusty. Not to mention, the absence of sunglasses...
Ryoga ran past police to see the burning wreckage of a tanker of some sort. Medical workers loaded a black body bag into an ambulance.
Ryoga stepped forward in shock.
Something crunched underneath his foot.
Vespa goggles.
"Aaand thas when I said... 'monkeys don't fly!' pbbbft! Hie hah hah! " Genma slapped the table, laughing to tears.
"Yes, well, how does an arranged marriage between my Shampoo and your Ranma sound? " Happologne tapped one foot.
"Soun's great! Oh yeah, whaa do I do about th bill?" Genma slurred.
"I so happy! " Shampoo clapped her hands together.
"Don't worry about that, just go home and... sleep this off... after you sign this, " Happologne produced a contract before Genma.
"Yeshs, pretty lady! " Genma scrawled his name on the bottom of paper. And partly onto the table.
Happologne sweatdropped and Shampoo giggled nervously.
"Escort Mr. Saotome to his home residence, Shampoo. See that he finds a suitable place to pass out. "
Velius was leaping from rooftop to rooftop with Ranma over one shoulder, "The city sure looks different this high up, I hope I can find home. "
It was then that Velius felt the person he was carrying begin to struggle. He set what was now a red headed girl with yellow eyes down on the rooftop, "What on Earth!?"
"Hello, my name's Ed! What's yours? " the girl smiled happily.
"Uh... I think I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi, but... I might be Velius, the Great Necromancer... " Velius rubbed his chin with one of his four hands.
"Ed will call you V-Chan! " she told the towering demon.
"Do you... know where Ranma Saotome is? " Velius looked at the girl's innocent, smiling face.
"Ed knows where Rankun is! " she nodded.
"..."
"..."
"Are you going to tell me? "
"That's Ed's secret! Promise V-Chan won't tell?"
"I promise, " Velius rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Ed saw that! Ed won't tell you now!"
"I'm gonna be in big trouble! " Velius bawled as he broke down to his knees.
"Gee mister, Ed didn't mean to make V-Chan cry. "
Velius continued to sob and wallow in melodramatic self pity.
"Ed is Ranma, Ranma is Ed! "
Velius blinked and his tears stopped, "What? "
"But only sometimes. "
Velius blinked, "My head hurts. "
Ryoga held his head in his hands. Apparently Haruko drove right into a butane tanker. The driver was killed in the explosion, but only a ruined Vespa and a broken helmet had been found as evidence of Haruko's death. Her corpse couldn't be located.
He had overheard speculation that she might be under the hulk of the the tanker.
" Why...?" he sobbed.
A sudden memory hit the fanged one like a freight train. The devil's voice....
"Oops, I guess I broke my promise."
Ranma Saotome would be the exception to Ryoga's vow not to kill.
Part 2: You Might Be A Demon If...
"See... th' butler... th' butlersh alwaysh gonna do it..., " Genma rambled drunkenly as Shampoo led him down the street.
"That nice, father in law, " Shampoo said with a pained smile.
"Yer such a pretty girl, " Genma got teary, "If only you didn't kill people... we could get yer cursh re... re... taken off and... whatsh that shmell?"
"Genma"
"You shay shomthin? " Genma looked at Shampoo.
"We almost at home, father in law, " Shampoo stated, ignoring what Genma actually said.
"Genma. Ranma is going to die."
Genma snapped to attention, "No. It can't..."
"How exactly do we get Ranma back? " Velius asked the odd creature before him.
"How would Ed know? "
"You're supposed to be the same person, for starters."
"Supposed to be,
Can't you see,
Its not me?"
"Arrgh!" Velius slapped himself in the face with all hands simultaneously. A green ball of energy fired vertically into a jet liner, causing it to rapidly descend towards a skyscraper.
"Ed thinks Ed and V-chan should go, " Ed scratched her head as she watched the setup for the coming carnage.
"I-I can't just let them die!!" Velius began to panic as he watched the liner close the distance.
"That's just about enough, Velius, " a voice called from behind them. The two turned to see Genma Saotome, Legendary Mad Martial Artist extraordinaire.
"Papa! " Ed laughed happily.
"Time to go back to Hell, Velius, " Genma began to glow faintly.
"Shampoo help! " Shampoo emerged from behind the glowing man. She brandished her bonbori with as much menace as she could.
"Shinryuuouchoudenbakuhatsukashotendan!" he shouted. Surely his twelve syllable attack move would dispatch the miscreant.
His aura flared and a huge energy bomb shot forth from his palm,curved past Velius and Ed, zooming into and through the jet liner in the distance, disintegrating part of it, then exploding on contact with the skyscraper.
Everyone's eyes bugged.
"People gone gone? " Ed blinked in bewilderment.
"You... monster! " Velius growled.
"Why stupid man do!?" Shampoo whapped Genma on the side of his head with a bonbori.
"I'm... still a little drunk... " Genma sweatdropped.
The sound of various car collisions on the street below punctuated his excuse.
Sailors Kasumi and Kuno landed immediately after this.
"In the names of courage and innocence, we shall... " Sailor Kuno began as the duo landed and summoned their weapons, "YOU!!"
"YOU!!" Velius took a step back.
"I don't have time for this crap. Call me later, " a voice rang in Velius's head.
Gosunkugi suddenly found that he was no longer an epic, legendary demon. Just Hikaru Gosunkugi in the tattered remnents of a Furinkan uniform, "eep!"
The boy who would be necromancer fainted dead away.
"The beast is... vanquished?" Kuno-chan blinked audibly.
"Its too bad he got away with hurting so many people before we stopped him, " Sailor Kasumi gave a rare frown.
"Yeeess..., " Genma started sweating heavily, "It was Velius..."
He was simultaneously punched by both Shampoo and Ed.
"V-chan is not a bad man! " Ed pouted.
"Shampoo going home now. No like company, " she gave Genma a killing glare and started rooftop hopping away.
"..." Genma felt the eyes of three girls on him, "Well, at any rate, we should return home. "
"And what shall we do with this wretch? " Kuno-chan indicated Gosunkugi.
Genma looked down at the boy, "There's a dumpster nearby. "
"What? " Sailor Kuno looked at the bandanna wearing martial artist.
"Uh... "
"Mr. Saotome was just joking, Kuno-chan! " Kasumi laughed, forgetting the carnage going on not so far away.
Kuno shuddered at the chan suffix
"Of course! " Genma snapped his fingers, "Miss Tendo, Ran... Ed! Let us return to our abode! "
He picked up Gosunkugi and headed for the fire escape, followed by Kasumi.
Before Ed could follow, Kuno-chan seemed to recognize her, "Kama-chan! I have been so distract so that I had not noticed your fair presence!" He knelt before her.
"Upperclassman Kuno?"
"My love! Let us away from this place together, that I may comfort you for the night!"
"Silly! We're both the same gender! " and with that, Ed left Kuno-chan in the dust.
"She refuses to accept me for my illusion, " Kuno became downcast, "It must be the insidious design of some master sorceror to hide my manliness from my beloveds! Truly, I shall prevail this hell spawned curse and win both beauties! But... how?"
This actually goes on for close to an hour, but I'll spare you.
Some time later...
Ranma-chan awoke in complete darkness. Someone h ad him in a vice grip. He began to panic.
"It will soon be over, revenge will be mine."
AN 12/5/03: Hmmm... lots of crazy stuff... but nothing you wouldn't expect... I think. If you're still reading this now, then I suppose it won't strike you as any stranger than usual. By the way, the original ending for this chapter was scrapped. It was a cliffhanger too, but, because of its wording, it could be taken the wrong way. In case I don't update again soon enough to clarify, I thought I should cut it back a bit.
Chewbacca: Oh, I hurt so much, I just want to go to bed.
Kodachi: I'm not done with you yet!
Chewbacca: Arrrgh!
Tofu: These previews are so inaccurate.
Ranma: Haven't seen you in awhile.
Tofu: That's because...
Kasumi: Dr. Tofu!
Tofu: Kasumi! What a surprise!
Ranma: Eh.
Figure: Ranma Saotome. It is time.
Ranma: What!? Who are you.
Figure: It is your time.
Ranma: I don't wanna dieeee!
Figure: Next episode- The Blues
Ranma: It's not fair!
The Inner Demon Chapter 14: The Blues-Nerima Neumonia 1
Velius crouched in front of an unconsious Ranma Saotome on a rooftop. The pigtailed boy neither moved nor did Velius. It so happened that the Great Necromancer's parents had bought him a new uniform just two days ago to replace the one with the fish goop on it ( Nabiki, that jerk! ) and would likely be displeased that those were now in tatters, not to mention the K.O.'d martial artist.
"What am I gonna do!? Mom's gonna kill me!"
Part 1: Perverted Happosai, Shampoo's Great Grandmother?
"Eat all of your ramen, deary! " Happologne cackled at a very pale Genma Saotome.
"He bangs his fist against the post, but still he sees the ghost, " Genma muttered repeatedly.
"He's not very stable, is he? " Happologne asked Shampoo, half lidded.
"He father of Kamaitachi, " Shampoo informed the shiveled... whatever it was.
"I see, " It turned back to Genma, "I wish for your son to marry my great grandaughter. "
Genma turned very seriously to the midget and replied with the sum of his wit, "Check please. "
Shampoo handed the stuttering man the check.
He sobered from his hysterical mood instantly, "130,000 yen!!"
"Yes, well, you ordered our most expensive item for the entire house. Twice, " Happologne explained.
"Put it on my tab? " Genma asked hopefully. He was answered by a half lidded stare. "Heh heh, but I only have 10,000 yen... "
"On you?"
"Uh, I only have 10,000... anywhere... "
"..."
"..."
"How about your son? "
"He has no money (that I know of...) "
"How about his hand? "
"A martial artist's LIFE is his hands! "
"No, you fool! His hand in marriage! "
"That kind of thing isn't legal in this country, you monster! "
"Idiot! " the diminutive demon slapped the back of Genma's head, "To Shampoo! "
"I may be stupid, and I may be drunk, " Genma narrowed his eyes at what might be his master, "But I'm not stupid or drunk enough to engage my only son to another girl. "
"Hmmm... " Happologne rubbed her hands together deviously, "That can be remedied... "
Ryoga rubbed his hands together. After dark, it had gotten much colder than he'd expected. He was on foot with Kashin, not wanting to attract another flying monster. He intended to find the source of the explosion that he'd heard on the barge. If there was anything he could do to help the victims...
"Hey, Mr. Stampede! " a male voice called out from an alley.
Ryoga turned to see Konatsu leaning against a wall, arms folded, "She's nothing but trouble, isn't she? " He gave ryoga a sidelong glance.
"Haru..?" Ryoga's eyes darted from the man to the direction he'd been heading in. He ran ahead full speed.
Kashin hesitated as he saw that Konatsu's normally immaculate suit was wrinkled and dusty. Not to mention, the absence of sunglasses...
Ryoga ran past police to see the burning wreckage of a tanker of some sort. Medical workers loaded a black body bag into an ambulance.
Ryoga stepped forward in shock.
Something crunched underneath his foot.
Vespa goggles.
"Aaand thas when I said... 'monkeys don't fly!' pbbbft! Hie hah hah! " Genma slapped the table, laughing to tears.
"Yes, well, how does an arranged marriage between my Shampoo and your Ranma sound? " Happologne tapped one foot.
"Soun's great! Oh yeah, whaa do I do about th bill?" Genma slurred.
"I so happy! " Shampoo clapped her hands together.
"Don't worry about that, just go home and... sleep this off... after you sign this, " Happologne produced a contract before Genma.
"Yeshs, pretty lady! " Genma scrawled his name on the bottom of paper. And partly onto the table.
Happologne sweatdropped and Shampoo giggled nervously.
"Escort Mr. Saotome to his home residence, Shampoo. See that he finds a suitable place to pass out. "
Velius was leaping from rooftop to rooftop with Ranma over one shoulder, "The city sure looks different this high up, I hope I can find home. "
It was then that Velius felt the person he was carrying begin to struggle. He set what was now a red headed girl with yellow eyes down on the rooftop, "What on Earth!?"
"Hello, my name's Ed! What's yours? " the girl smiled happily.
"Uh... I think I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi, but... I might be Velius, the Great Necromancer... " Velius rubbed his chin with one of his four hands.
"Ed will call you V-Chan! " she told the towering demon.
"Do you... know where Ranma Saotome is? " Velius looked at the girl's innocent, smiling face.
"Ed knows where Rankun is! " she nodded.
"..."
"..."
"Are you going to tell me? "
"That's Ed's secret! Promise V-Chan won't tell?"
"I promise, " Velius rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Ed saw that! Ed won't tell you now!"
"I'm gonna be in big trouble! " Velius bawled as he broke down to his knees.
"Gee mister, Ed didn't mean to make V-Chan cry. "
Velius continued to sob and wallow in melodramatic self pity.
"Ed is Ranma, Ranma is Ed! "
Velius blinked and his tears stopped, "What? "
"But only sometimes. "
Velius blinked, "My head hurts. "
Ryoga held his head in his hands. Apparently Haruko drove right into a butane tanker. The driver was killed in the explosion, but only a ruined Vespa and a broken helmet had been found as evidence of Haruko's death. Her corpse couldn't be located.
He had overheard speculation that she might be under the hulk of the the tanker.
" Why...?" he sobbed.
A sudden memory hit the fanged one like a freight train. The devil's voice....
"Oops, I guess I broke my promise."
Ranma Saotome would be the exception to Ryoga's vow not to kill.
Part 2: You Might Be A Demon If...
"See... th' butler... th' butlersh alwaysh gonna do it..., " Genma rambled drunkenly as Shampoo led him down the street.
"That nice, father in law, " Shampoo said with a pained smile.
"Yer such a pretty girl, " Genma got teary, "If only you didn't kill people... we could get yer cursh re... re... taken off and... whatsh that shmell?"
"Genma"
"You shay shomthin? " Genma looked at Shampoo.
"We almost at home, father in law, " Shampoo stated, ignoring what Genma actually said.
"Genma. Ranma is going to die."
Genma snapped to attention, "No. It can't..."
"How exactly do we get Ranma back? " Velius asked the odd creature before him.
"How would Ed know? "
"You're supposed to be the same person, for starters."
"Supposed to be,
Can't you see,
Its not me?"
"Arrgh!" Velius slapped himself in the face with all hands simultaneously. A green ball of energy fired vertically into a jet liner, causing it to rapidly descend towards a skyscraper.
"Ed thinks Ed and V-chan should go, " Ed scratched her head as she watched the setup for the coming carnage.
"I-I can't just let them die!!" Velius began to panic as he watched the liner close the distance.
"That's just about enough, Velius, " a voice called from behind them. The two turned to see Genma Saotome, Legendary Mad Martial Artist extraordinaire.
"Papa! " Ed laughed happily.
"Time to go back to Hell, Velius, " Genma began to glow faintly.
"Shampoo help! " Shampoo emerged from behind the glowing man. She brandished her bonbori with as much menace as she could.
"Shinryuuouchoudenbakuhatsukashotendan!" he shouted. Surely his twelve syllable attack move would dispatch the miscreant.
His aura flared and a huge energy bomb shot forth from his palm,curved past Velius and Ed, zooming into and through the jet liner in the distance, disintegrating part of it, then exploding on contact with the skyscraper.
Everyone's eyes bugged.
"People gone gone? " Ed blinked in bewilderment.
"You... monster! " Velius growled.
"Why stupid man do!?" Shampoo whapped Genma on the side of his head with a bonbori.
"I'm... still a little drunk... " Genma sweatdropped.
The sound of various car collisions on the street below punctuated his excuse.
Sailors Kasumi and Kuno landed immediately after this.
"In the names of courage and innocence, we shall... " Sailor Kuno began as the duo landed and summoned their weapons, "YOU!!"
"YOU!!" Velius took a step back.
"I don't have time for this crap. Call me later, " a voice rang in Velius's head.
Gosunkugi suddenly found that he was no longer an epic, legendary demon. Just Hikaru Gosunkugi in the tattered remnents of a Furinkan uniform, "eep!"
The boy who would be necromancer fainted dead away.
"The beast is... vanquished?" Kuno-chan blinked audibly.
"Its too bad he got away with hurting so many people before we stopped him, " Sailor Kasumi gave a rare frown.
"Yeeess..., " Genma started sweating heavily, "It was Velius..."
He was simultaneously punched by both Shampoo and Ed.
"V-chan is not a bad man! " Ed pouted.
"Shampoo going home now. No like company, " she gave Genma a killing glare and started rooftop hopping away.
"..." Genma felt the eyes of three girls on him, "Well, at any rate, we should return home. "
"And what shall we do with this wretch? " Kuno-chan indicated Gosunkugi.
Genma looked down at the boy, "There's a dumpster nearby. "
"What? " Sailor Kuno looked at the bandanna wearing martial artist.
"Uh... "
"Mr. Saotome was just joking, Kuno-chan! " Kasumi laughed, forgetting the carnage going on not so far away.
Kuno shuddered at the chan suffix
"Of course! " Genma snapped his fingers, "Miss Tendo, Ran... Ed! Let us return to our abode! "
He picked up Gosunkugi and headed for the fire escape, followed by Kasumi.
Before Ed could follow, Kuno-chan seemed to recognize her, "Kama-chan! I have been so distract so that I had not noticed your fair presence!" He knelt before her.
"Upperclassman Kuno?"
"My love! Let us away from this place together, that I may comfort you for the night!"
"Silly! We're both the same gender! " and with that, Ed left Kuno-chan in the dust.
"She refuses to accept me for my illusion, " Kuno became downcast, "It must be the insidious design of some master sorceror to hide my manliness from my beloveds! Truly, I shall prevail this hell spawned curse and win both beauties! But... how?"
This actually goes on for close to an hour, but I'll spare you.
Some time later...
Ranma-chan awoke in complete darkness. Someone h ad him in a vice grip. He began to panic.
"It will soon be over, revenge will be mine."
AN 12/5/03: Hmmm... lots of crazy stuff... but nothing you wouldn't expect... I think. If you're still reading this now, then I suppose it won't strike you as any stranger than usual. By the way, the original ending for this chapter was scrapped. It was a cliffhanger too, but, because of its wording, it could be taken the wrong way. In case I don't update again soon enough to clarify, I thought I should cut it back a bit.
Chewbacca: Oh, I hurt so much, I just want to go to bed.
Kodachi: I'm not done with you yet!
Chewbacca: Arrrgh!
Tofu: These previews are so inaccurate.
Ranma: Haven't seen you in awhile.
Tofu: That's because...
Kasumi: Dr. Tofu!
Tofu: Kasumi! What a surprise!
Ranma: Eh.
Figure: Ranma Saotome. It is time.
Ranma: What!? Who are you.
Figure: It is your time.
Ranma: I don't wanna dieeee!
Figure: Next episode- The Blues
Ranma: It's not fair!
