Disclaimer: No conozco el gatos que viviendo en el queso.
The Inner Demon Chapter 15: The Blues-Nerima Pneumonia 2
"Mr. Herb! We are set to capture the target. "
"Excellent. Make sure that the Factory is ready to recieve the witch offspring of Genma. And make sure to have your orbo equipped. "
"Of course, sir. "
"It will soon be over. Revenge will be mine. "
Part 1: The Merry House of Tendo!
Gosunkugi awoke in a dark room. He was wearing strange chinese clothes and could hear breathing close by. He rationalized that he had been kidnapped by demons that meant to torture him.
Sitting up in a panic, he surveyed the room and noticed that it looked as though several booby traps had been placed and gone off in it. He also noticed that there were two others in the room. One slept. The other had suddenly sprung out of the bedroom closet and landed smack on the first, who awoke suddenly.
"Aaaaaaaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaaagh!" The first figure screamed, standing up and bouncing around wildly in an effort to dislodge the loony that had attached itself to him.
"C'mon! " the second purred, "Don't ya wanna snuggle? "
"Ukyo!? " Ranma stopped thrashing suddenly and turned the lights on. His face calmed and he asked, half lidded, "Do you want to get offa me?"
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You don't want me to make you get off.
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"Okay, " she sighed with mock grudgery.
Gosunkugi sat wide eyed.
"Ukyo, " Ranma began calmly, "You will sleep in the closet until further notice. Got that? "
"That isn't very gentlemanly, " Haruko gave an over-exaggerated pout.
"Tough, " and you, he said, turning to Gosunkugi, "What are you doing here and why are you in my clothes?"
Gosunkugi tried to speak, but fumbled the words.
"You get to sleep in the closet too, " Ranma informed him.
"But I didn't do anything! "
"I'll determine that tomorrow, " Ranma said before shooing them into his closet and locking it.
Genma awoke to the sound of screaming, "poor kid... didn't have a chance... " Then he passed out again.
Akane snuck into her home as quietly as possible. She quietly thought of what had happened the past few days and realized that her life had taken another permanent step into some strange little alternate universe. She hadn't been able to shake the idea that something was drastically wrong in the way events had played out.
Oh wait. She lived in a house infested with shape shifters. And a demon. Oh well.
It was then that she heard a knock on the door. Having no reason to be afraid, she answered it.
A tall man in black, with long, equally black hair and a black trench coat, with the black... he wore a lot of black. "Hello. My name is Amon Mousse. I'm with a special unit of the police. Is Genma Saotome present at this residence?" he introduced himself with a grim, professional expression as he flashed his badge.
"Um, yes, he's been staying here, " Akane wasn't so much surprised that the police had an interest in Genma as much as she was surprised that they'd show up in the middle of the night, "Is he being arrested or something? "
"No, but he has an old friend that wishes to speak with him, " Amon handed Akane a piece of paper with a phone number on it, "He used to work with a Tokyo police force a few decades ago. He will know what this means. "
"He will get it, sir, " Akane assured the man.
"Thank you and good evening, " Amon turned and proceeded to leave the grounds.
Akane closed the door and stared at the number as she turned around to face Genma and Soun.
"Go to bed, Akane, " Soun ordered as the girl handed Genma the paper.
A few minutes later, Genma was on the phone, with Soun close by.
Genma hung up, "He's in town. "
Soun nodded.
"The one I spoke with said they had Ranma, " Genma spoke, "but Ranma is upstairs now. "
"Nabiki was supposed to be at a friend's house tonight, " Soun spoke with cold dread.
"You can go find her. I have to go for my own woman," Genma stated.
"They have no reason to hurt Nodoka if the two of you are apart, " Soun tried to reassure his long time friend.
"I've got to go, Tendo, " Genma headed for the door.
"Don't expect me to back you up! " Soun shouted after Genma.
"Your call, " Genma replied as he left.
Morning arrived not long after...
"That was the most satisfying sleep that I've had for awhile, " Ranma stood and stretched before opening his closet.
A disheveled Hikaru Gosunkugi fell face first into the floor.
"Good morning, " Ranma said cheerfully.
Gosunkugi quickly rose, "Sir! "
"Where's Haruko? "
"The girl? "
"Yes, of course. "
"She left. "
"She left? "
"Yeah. Don't know when. "
"I could've sworn she was right handed, " Ranma laughed as Gosunkugi started looking a bit uncomfortable, "Well, then, I'm going to see what's cooking downstairs. "
On cue, Kasumi shouted from the first floor, "Ranma! You have a phone call! "
"I'm gonna check this out. You help yourself to breakfast downstairs when it's ready, " Ranma said as he departed.
"I'm hungry. Go eat, " Velius told Gosunkugi.
"Uh... what? " Gosunkugi was startled.
The voice sighed audibly, "I am your demon conscience. Trust me when I tell you that you would rather dine on human cuisine than what I will have you eat if you do not. "
"Yessir! " Gosunkugi agreed immediately, running out of Ranma's room and downstairs.
It turned out that Hiroshi had called about the meeting that Ranma had missed.
"We went on as usual without you, but the board's confidence might be shaken if you miss the next one, " Hiroshi informed him.
"Hmm... I see. I was detained by forces beyond my control, " Ranma explained.
"Would you like me to bump up next week's meeting? "
"Naah, It's fine, " Ranma decided, "Just prepare me a summary of events. "
"Yes sir. "
"Oh, and Gosunkugi's alright. Introduce him to HQ. "
"As you wish. Anything else? "
"Yeah, what's Daisuke's room number? "
"5th floor, room 257. "
"Excellent. I'll see you Monday for the summary. "
"Goodbye, sir. "
Ranma hung up the phone and headed for the breakfast table.
"Do you think that Legacy HQ is using us? " Akari Karasuma asked her coworker as they sat in a company car in front of the Tendo household.
"Do not forget that Earth MIB's supernature department is a joint commission between Legacy HQ and MIB-J. We act as a part of both, despite the fact that Legacy HQ is rather hands-off, " Amon Mousse reminded her.
"They have no problem taking our Orbo, though, " Akari grimaced slightly as the car sped off.
Genma pumped his legs furiously on the bicycle he'd just stolen. He knew what the game was. The only question would be whether or not he was up to the task.
This is the point that Ono Tofu happened to walk directly into Genma's path. Genma tried to stop, but, unfortunately, the bike's pedals were not very well made. Apparently, neither were the handle bars. Nor the wheels, for that matter.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
"What? Oh n-!"
CRASH!
"In a hurry?" Tofu asked casually as he felt around for his glasses.
"Yes. Indeed, " Genma felt for his glasses, "I have an important meeting to attend. "
The two men grabbed each other's glasses and put them on while standing. As it turns out, they had very different prescriptions.
"Well, I need to be going too, " Tofu could barely make out the man. "I think I need a new prescription...," he thought.
"Yes, well. I guess I shall be on my way as well, " Genma nodded to the blurry man. "A martial artist must never show weakness, " he thought.
With that, they parted. Both heading for the same location by different routes.
Ranma, however, was bored. The Tendo household was completely serene. Kasumi sipped tea. Gosunkugi was making dolls. Haruko was following him around with a goofy grin. Then Ranma decided it would be best to head out now to take care of Daisuke's bills.
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..... and pick up some IVs...
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"Time to take care of business. "
"Can I come? " Haruko chirped up.
"No. Go away, " Ranma left the household with Haruko right behind.
Akane slept late that day and woke with a stretch and a yawn. Her life had been really messed up the past few days. She never would have believed it possible before now that Nerima could actually get stranger.
She stumbled out of bed and began to search for her uniform. Oh wait... she didn't have school today. She supposed that she ought to try to explain what had happened while she'd been missing to her father, but an image of the man bawling while Genma was out doing God knows what was too much. She sighed. Things were too complicated. She decided just to go break some bricks.
Soun was on edge. He stayed calm on the outside, but his thoughts kept wandering to Nabiki. He'd called the place she was supposed to be staying, (how did she get him to let her leave, anyway?) and, surely enough, Nabiki was fine... but he couldn't shake this feeling...
Nabiki was tied to a chair in some dark, gothic church. She'd never seen this place anywhere before, but it was only about two miles outside of Nerima ward. Why wasn't her father there by now? She would have threatened her captors, except for the gag around her mouth.
"Stop struggling, " a voice spoke behind her, "I want you to be awake when your father arrives. "
What could this person want with her father?
Soun stood suddenly, "That's it! I have to rescue her! " He took one step before slipping on his own dropped newspaper and falling face first onto the ground, twisting his ankle in the process, "Oh hell, not again! "
Akane had just entered the room in time to witness this event, "Daddy!" She rushed up to the now-sobbing man, "Who do you need to rescue? "
"Your sister, Nabiki, " Soun sat up, "I think she's been kidnapped. "
"I will find her! " Sailor Kasumi entered from the kitchen, with determination oozing from every pore.
Suddenly a ringing went off behind her, "Ooh! My cake!" With that, she dashed back into the kitchen.
"..."
"..."
"Daddy, I'm going to go find Nabiki, " Akane told her father.
"But, Akane, these are very dangerous people..."
"I'm the only one that can do it right now. "
"..."
"Father!"
"Alright. Go to the Green Bird Cathedral. It is just outside of Nerima, to the northeast. I believe that is where she is, " Soun then handed Akane a sword grip with no blade attached, "Take this. It is a good luck charm. "
"I'll be back soon, father! " Akane took the object and headed towards the front door, when Gosunkugi marched up behind her, "What!? "
"... A-Akane, " Gosunkugi swallowed, "I want to help. "
"Don't be ridiculous! " Akane turned away.
"No, really! " Gosunkugi implored her, "I-I've got powers. "
"Fine. Try to keep up, " Akane left casually until she reached the front gate, then ran full tilt. There would be no way that Nabiki's newest slave would have the strength or stamina to even stay in sight of her. Or so she thought...
Part 2: Ryoga... Eternally Lost, Remember?
"I know where I'm going, Kashin! " Ryoga shouted at the hapless robot, refusing the map that it'd offered as they wandered around the city.
He didn't fail to realize that it was lucky that he was still in Tokyo at this point, but he would be damned if he accepted directional help from Kashin.
"And take off that damn wig! "
"..." Kashin looked as dejected as a humanoid robot with a TV for a head can as he removed the cheery clown wig he'd been wearing.
"Don't give me that look, " Ryoga commanded as he turned to face Kashin, stopping in front of a hospital.
Not far away...
"You don't even know where I'm going! " Ranma shouted at his stalker.
"So? " Haruko smiled, irritatingly.
"And stop smiling at me like that! "
"... " Haruko gave her best look of mock dejection, with puppy dog eyes and all.
"Don't give me that look, " Ranma commanded as he approached the turn of the corner, which would lead to the front of the hospital.
Ranma made the turn and began to walk toward the hospital from the end of the street that Shampoo hadn't wrecked.
Ryoga turned again and entered the hospital, "Fine! I'll ask for help in this bank. "
Ranma had made his way to the door, then began to scale up the side of the building.
Haruko watched as Ranma quickly made his way to the room that he'd stayed in during his injury. She shrugged and decided to take the front door.
Ryoga had just at this time entered an elevator, quite by accident, and headed up toward the 7th floor; coincidentally, this was the same floor that Ranma was on.
Kashin turned to the stairs, missing Haruko by seconds.
Ranma left his previous hospital room and made his way to the elevator. He walked down the hall and nodded to nurses and doctors as though he knew them, and each doctor or nurse assumed he must be there by the authority of one the other doctors or nurses he'd nodded to. When he reached the elevator, he pressed the button and waited for the elevator to arrive. It was then that he noticed Kuno entering a room within sight of the elevator.
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None can hide from me!
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Ranma turned and took a left for the supply closet Kuno had presumably hidden in.
Ryoga fell forward out of the elevator, relieved that he wasn't in a demon tomb buried underneath the hospital, or some crazy thing like that. He then decided to find the stairs. He took a right, walking just past the stairwell that Kashin emerged from seconds later.
When Ranma entered the supply closet, he found that Kuno was picking up nutrient and medicine bags for IV drips.
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That son of a camel! I'll teach him to steal my ideas!
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It was true that Haruko didn't have any idea why Ranma had gone to this hospital, but, then, she also had no idea why she'd knocked out that nurse and stolen her uniform, nor why she had felt a compulsive desire to sell okonomiyaki to the people in the cafeteria. Suddenly the frame of the hospital shook. It was too brief to be serious.
"Minor earthquake..."
Ranma had hit the intern that had looked so remarkably like Kuno, yet surprisingly was not, hard enough to send the poor guy through two floors. Oh well... at least he had part of the drip set.
"Where am I now!? " Ryoga was pretty sure that this was no ordinary hospital. Well, he assumed that most hospitals did not have mysterious, huge machines belching steam in dark, forbidding rooms.
Perhaps that tunnel (Laundry chute) was not the best shortcut? He'd somehow ended up, from a subterranean laundry mat, ending up in this steel hell.
As it turned out, Haruko had hidden the nurse she had stolen her current attire from in this place, the boiler room.
Ryoga noticed the poor woman, who was chained and padlocked to a pipe, with a "kick me" sign taped to her side.
"There is only one devil capable of this sort of evil, " Ryoga reddened in anger, "RAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNMAAAAAAAA!!! "
Ranma had thought he'd heard something... but... naah, it must've been his imagination.
Imagine Doujima's surprise when she, undercover and watching to see whether or not Daisuke was a witch (he did survive quite a fall, after all), she'd been grabbed from behind by some loony with yellow eyes and quickly bound with chains and gagged. Then the freak had the nerve to tape a "kick me" sign to her!
Now there was some other loony shouting out the name of another witch that the MIB-J was looking for. God, she just loved her job so much.
"Don't worry, miss! " Ryoga tried to reassure her, "I'll punish the person that is responsible! "
And, with that said, he walked away in a random direction without even removing the woman's gag.
Haruko's gag was wearing thin on her attention span. Sure, selling okonomiyaki as a nurse sounded cool, but it just didn't give her the rush that usually came when she stayed near Ranma long enough. So she decided to find him and make up a reason for them to fight to the death. Wouldn't that be fun?
Kashin was not having fun. That was the short version. While not being an idiot of directions like Ryoga, he was, however, lost in his direction.
As it turns out, there had recently been added a trap door in one of the supply closets.
You may ask, "Why was Kashin in a supply closet? " Well, he was looking for Ryoga.... Moving on....
Well, he'd fallen a few floors onto someone that looked remarkably like a male equivalent to that one female sailor in red. Obviously that was not the case, for two reasons. The first being obvious, and the second being that sailors didn't generally tend to make squishing or crunching sounds... or loud cursing.
Apparently, the cursing had attracted hospital personnel, because Kashin heard the rattle of a doorknob. He decided it was time to go.
Haruko had heard some screaming from an unused room and made haste to soap out the offender's mouth.
Running in, she completely missed the gaping hole in the ceiling and proceded to grab the battered boy that she found.
She was halfway into her soaping when she realized that this boy looked quite a bit like Kuno. She dropped him and began savagely kicking him for not being present at the last battle.
When the hapless intern had begun to cry softly, she decided that that was very un-Kuno like, so she took the opportunity to vanish before the slowly responding real hospital personnel showed up to find an innocent intern.
The only person that showed up was Ryoga, though. He had had enough of wandering around in the hell that existed under the hospital and had decided to break the ceiling and travel vertically. That was possibly the one direction that did not cheat him at every turn. Right, left, forward, backward, sideways, diagonally, west, east, north, south.... they were all ne'er do wells and traitors in his eyes.
To his astonishment, he found Tatewaki Kuno lying face down, battered and in a pool of tears. He soundly thrashed the poor boy for stealing his schtick before realizing that Kuno probably didn't babble about singing raisins and dancing coke cans as much as this crying boy, so he hastily apologized and sprinted off to brain Ranma. After all, Ranma's presence at this hospital is what caused him to beat that intern.
Ranma had finally found Daisuke's room. He'd smuggled in a check book that had Daisuke's name on it.
"Uh... I don't have a checking account at the Bank of Tokyo... do I? " Daisuke blinked in surprise.
"Actually, alla my board members do, " Ranma smirked, "I got friends in high places. "
"Is it legal? " Daisuke asked, hesitantly.
"..." Ranma continued smirking without reply.
"Of course, " Daisuke hurriedly spoke up, "But, uh, how much is there? "
"About 3600, " Ranma shrugged and left the disappointed Daisuke behind, leaping out of a nearby (Luckily open, this time) window.
This disappointment would fade away when Daisuke recieved a timely statement that informed him that Ranma had missed a few zeros.
Ryoga protested when a very unhappy Kashin tried to drag him out of the hospital, "RANMA IS STILL HERE! "
Kashin pointed out a nearby window, which Ranma happened to be briefly visible from.
Unfortunately, Ryoga had been obstinately looking in the other direction... or maybe he had meant to follow Kashin's hand, we'll never know.
"We're staying right here until Ranma finds us, " Ryoga plopped onto the floor, "And that is that! "
Kashin hung his head in exasperation.
Haruko, however, was already leaving. Apparently a janitor had found Doujima and the police had arrived just in time to arrest her. Hopefully she'll escape jail in time for the next chapter.
Part 3: Ballad of Fallen Legendary Mad Martial Artists
Genma-panda showed up in front of the Green Bird Cathedral. This is where it all began... and where it all ended...
He entered at a slow pace, watching his sides with peripheral vision, he soon arrived in front of the raised altar. It was a large open room. The altar itself was a few yards ahead and was raised so that it was accessible only by two stone staircases that were located on either side of the room.
Nabiki Tendo was tied to a chair in front of him. A man in elegant renaissance French attire held an origami swan to the captive girl's throat.
"When angels fall out of heaven, they become devils, " a cloaked figure behind the altar spoke, "You agree, don't you, Genma? "
Genma's orbo glowed.
"Drop it, if you want your daughter to live, " the man said. He was Zostra. A very dangerous member of the Legacy. He was a master of killing by the element of air. It also so happened that he was the master of the Origami Paper Folding style of martial arts, but that's besides the point.
Genma squinted, then his clawed panda hand shot up and fired a chi bullet that picked Zostra off cleanly.
A fire fight ensued as Genma rushed forward and cut Nabiki's bonds before handing her his orbo necklace.
She ran to the exit, with the orbo absorbing any stray chi bullets that came her way.
Genma dodged the bullets and returned fire with his own. He was hit in the arm, then grit his teeth and blasted the sniper. Before long, it was just him and a cloaked figure standing with the altar to its right and a stained glass.
The figure reached for a katana hidden within its robes.
Genma poured a hot water kettle's contents over his head and adopted a fighting stance.
There was a split second of calm before the two rushed forward and met. Genma fired several shots and the figure took several swipes. Genma was unable to dodge the deathblow, but did manage to block it with an energy shield.
"You should see yourself now, " the figure spoke, "In you runs the same vicious blood. "
"I've bled that blood away, " Genma snarled.
"Then... " The two struggled with their current state of check, "WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! "
There was a shot and a swipe. Genma fell through the stained glass.
"..." the figure watched Genma for a moment before looking down and seeing a concussion grenade. The eyes under the hood widened in realization.
Genma fell... he saw the bright flash of light above him. His life flashed before his eyes... Nodoka... Herb... the cathedral... then he saw himself stumbling in the streets, his wounds terrible... he awoke to hear Nodoka's humming. She stopped when she saw him. He spoke up, "I love your rendition of blue suede shoes, keep singing... "
Akane looked up as Genma-Panda growfed. She still couldn't believe the odds that not only did Dr. Tofu just happen to show up at the right time, but Gosunkugi had beaten her there. If it had been up to her, Genma would be laying at the bottom of the canal now.
Just as she started to hum again, the panda raised a sign, "Don't you know that Elvis is dead? "
She proceded to break it over his head and take her leave of him.
Soun chuckled from behind his paper.
Elsewhere, in a similar state, Kuno mumbled feverishly in his catatonia about coke cans and california raisins. Kodachi cracked her knuckles. She just couldn't listen to this nonsense any more.
AN 3/29/04: Wow! An update.
Haruko: No body knows the trouble I seen...
Cellmate: For the love of God! Shut up!
Haruko: Why can't we be friends, why can't we...
Cellmate: I'm gonna kill you!
Haruko: I shot the sheriff! But I didn't shoot the...
Cellmate: Why!? Why me!?
Haruko: ...
Cellmate: Never sing again. Ever.
Haruko: And that's the day the music died!
Cellmate: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Haruko: Sha la la la la!
Cellmate: *hangs self with bedsheet*
Haruko: Cool! Now I have the top bunk!
The Inner Demon Chapter 15: The Blues-Nerima Pneumonia 2
"Mr. Herb! We are set to capture the target. "
"Excellent. Make sure that the Factory is ready to recieve the witch offspring of Genma. And make sure to have your orbo equipped. "
"Of course, sir. "
"It will soon be over. Revenge will be mine. "
Part 1: The Merry House of Tendo!
Gosunkugi awoke in a dark room. He was wearing strange chinese clothes and could hear breathing close by. He rationalized that he had been kidnapped by demons that meant to torture him.
Sitting up in a panic, he surveyed the room and noticed that it looked as though several booby traps had been placed and gone off in it. He also noticed that there were two others in the room. One slept. The other had suddenly sprung out of the bedroom closet and landed smack on the first, who awoke suddenly.
"Aaaaaaaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaaagh!" The first figure screamed, standing up and bouncing around wildly in an effort to dislodge the loony that had attached itself to him.
"C'mon! " the second purred, "Don't ya wanna snuggle? "
"Ukyo!? " Ranma stopped thrashing suddenly and turned the lights on. His face calmed and he asked, half lidded, "Do you want to get offa me?"
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You don't want me to make you get off.
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"Okay, " she sighed with mock grudgery.
Gosunkugi sat wide eyed.
"Ukyo, " Ranma began calmly, "You will sleep in the closet until further notice. Got that? "
"That isn't very gentlemanly, " Haruko gave an over-exaggerated pout.
"Tough, " and you, he said, turning to Gosunkugi, "What are you doing here and why are you in my clothes?"
Gosunkugi tried to speak, but fumbled the words.
"You get to sleep in the closet too, " Ranma informed him.
"But I didn't do anything! "
"I'll determine that tomorrow, " Ranma said before shooing them into his closet and locking it.
Genma awoke to the sound of screaming, "poor kid... didn't have a chance... " Then he passed out again.
Akane snuck into her home as quietly as possible. She quietly thought of what had happened the past few days and realized that her life had taken another permanent step into some strange little alternate universe. She hadn't been able to shake the idea that something was drastically wrong in the way events had played out.
Oh wait. She lived in a house infested with shape shifters. And a demon. Oh well.
It was then that she heard a knock on the door. Having no reason to be afraid, she answered it.
A tall man in black, with long, equally black hair and a black trench coat, with the black... he wore a lot of black. "Hello. My name is Amon Mousse. I'm with a special unit of the police. Is Genma Saotome present at this residence?" he introduced himself with a grim, professional expression as he flashed his badge.
"Um, yes, he's been staying here, " Akane wasn't so much surprised that the police had an interest in Genma as much as she was surprised that they'd show up in the middle of the night, "Is he being arrested or something? "
"No, but he has an old friend that wishes to speak with him, " Amon handed Akane a piece of paper with a phone number on it, "He used to work with a Tokyo police force a few decades ago. He will know what this means. "
"He will get it, sir, " Akane assured the man.
"Thank you and good evening, " Amon turned and proceeded to leave the grounds.
Akane closed the door and stared at the number as she turned around to face Genma and Soun.
"Go to bed, Akane, " Soun ordered as the girl handed Genma the paper.
A few minutes later, Genma was on the phone, with Soun close by.
Genma hung up, "He's in town. "
Soun nodded.
"The one I spoke with said they had Ranma, " Genma spoke, "but Ranma is upstairs now. "
"Nabiki was supposed to be at a friend's house tonight, " Soun spoke with cold dread.
"You can go find her. I have to go for my own woman," Genma stated.
"They have no reason to hurt Nodoka if the two of you are apart, " Soun tried to reassure his long time friend.
"I've got to go, Tendo, " Genma headed for the door.
"Don't expect me to back you up! " Soun shouted after Genma.
"Your call, " Genma replied as he left.
Morning arrived not long after...
"That was the most satisfying sleep that I've had for awhile, " Ranma stood and stretched before opening his closet.
A disheveled Hikaru Gosunkugi fell face first into the floor.
"Good morning, " Ranma said cheerfully.
Gosunkugi quickly rose, "Sir! "
"Where's Haruko? "
"The girl? "
"Yes, of course. "
"She left. "
"She left? "
"Yeah. Don't know when. "
"I could've sworn she was right handed, " Ranma laughed as Gosunkugi started looking a bit uncomfortable, "Well, then, I'm going to see what's cooking downstairs. "
On cue, Kasumi shouted from the first floor, "Ranma! You have a phone call! "
"I'm gonna check this out. You help yourself to breakfast downstairs when it's ready, " Ranma said as he departed.
"I'm hungry. Go eat, " Velius told Gosunkugi.
"Uh... what? " Gosunkugi was startled.
The voice sighed audibly, "I am your demon conscience. Trust me when I tell you that you would rather dine on human cuisine than what I will have you eat if you do not. "
"Yessir! " Gosunkugi agreed immediately, running out of Ranma's room and downstairs.
It turned out that Hiroshi had called about the meeting that Ranma had missed.
"We went on as usual without you, but the board's confidence might be shaken if you miss the next one, " Hiroshi informed him.
"Hmm... I see. I was detained by forces beyond my control, " Ranma explained.
"Would you like me to bump up next week's meeting? "
"Naah, It's fine, " Ranma decided, "Just prepare me a summary of events. "
"Yes sir. "
"Oh, and Gosunkugi's alright. Introduce him to HQ. "
"As you wish. Anything else? "
"Yeah, what's Daisuke's room number? "
"5th floor, room 257. "
"Excellent. I'll see you Monday for the summary. "
"Goodbye, sir. "
Ranma hung up the phone and headed for the breakfast table.
"Do you think that Legacy HQ is using us? " Akari Karasuma asked her coworker as they sat in a company car in front of the Tendo household.
"Do not forget that Earth MIB's supernature department is a joint commission between Legacy HQ and MIB-J. We act as a part of both, despite the fact that Legacy HQ is rather hands-off, " Amon Mousse reminded her.
"They have no problem taking our Orbo, though, " Akari grimaced slightly as the car sped off.
Genma pumped his legs furiously on the bicycle he'd just stolen. He knew what the game was. The only question would be whether or not he was up to the task.
This is the point that Ono Tofu happened to walk directly into Genma's path. Genma tried to stop, but, unfortunately, the bike's pedals were not very well made. Apparently, neither were the handle bars. Nor the wheels, for that matter.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
"What? Oh n-!"
CRASH!
"In a hurry?" Tofu asked casually as he felt around for his glasses.
"Yes. Indeed, " Genma felt for his glasses, "I have an important meeting to attend. "
The two men grabbed each other's glasses and put them on while standing. As it turns out, they had very different prescriptions.
"Well, I need to be going too, " Tofu could barely make out the man. "I think I need a new prescription...," he thought.
"Yes, well. I guess I shall be on my way as well, " Genma nodded to the blurry man. "A martial artist must never show weakness, " he thought.
With that, they parted. Both heading for the same location by different routes.
Ranma, however, was bored. The Tendo household was completely serene. Kasumi sipped tea. Gosunkugi was making dolls. Haruko was following him around with a goofy grin. Then Ranma decided it would be best to head out now to take care of Daisuke's bills.
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..... and pick up some IVs...
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"Time to take care of business. "
"Can I come? " Haruko chirped up.
"No. Go away, " Ranma left the household with Haruko right behind.
Akane slept late that day and woke with a stretch and a yawn. Her life had been really messed up the past few days. She never would have believed it possible before now that Nerima could actually get stranger.
She stumbled out of bed and began to search for her uniform. Oh wait... she didn't have school today. She supposed that she ought to try to explain what had happened while she'd been missing to her father, but an image of the man bawling while Genma was out doing God knows what was too much. She sighed. Things were too complicated. She decided just to go break some bricks.
Soun was on edge. He stayed calm on the outside, but his thoughts kept wandering to Nabiki. He'd called the place she was supposed to be staying, (how did she get him to let her leave, anyway?) and, surely enough, Nabiki was fine... but he couldn't shake this feeling...
Nabiki was tied to a chair in some dark, gothic church. She'd never seen this place anywhere before, but it was only about two miles outside of Nerima ward. Why wasn't her father there by now? She would have threatened her captors, except for the gag around her mouth.
"Stop struggling, " a voice spoke behind her, "I want you to be awake when your father arrives. "
What could this person want with her father?
Soun stood suddenly, "That's it! I have to rescue her! " He took one step before slipping on his own dropped newspaper and falling face first onto the ground, twisting his ankle in the process, "Oh hell, not again! "
Akane had just entered the room in time to witness this event, "Daddy!" She rushed up to the now-sobbing man, "Who do you need to rescue? "
"Your sister, Nabiki, " Soun sat up, "I think she's been kidnapped. "
"I will find her! " Sailor Kasumi entered from the kitchen, with determination oozing from every pore.
Suddenly a ringing went off behind her, "Ooh! My cake!" With that, she dashed back into the kitchen.
"..."
"..."
"Daddy, I'm going to go find Nabiki, " Akane told her father.
"But, Akane, these are very dangerous people..."
"I'm the only one that can do it right now. "
"..."
"Father!"
"Alright. Go to the Green Bird Cathedral. It is just outside of Nerima, to the northeast. I believe that is where she is, " Soun then handed Akane a sword grip with no blade attached, "Take this. It is a good luck charm. "
"I'll be back soon, father! " Akane took the object and headed towards the front door, when Gosunkugi marched up behind her, "What!? "
"... A-Akane, " Gosunkugi swallowed, "I want to help. "
"Don't be ridiculous! " Akane turned away.
"No, really! " Gosunkugi implored her, "I-I've got powers. "
"Fine. Try to keep up, " Akane left casually until she reached the front gate, then ran full tilt. There would be no way that Nabiki's newest slave would have the strength or stamina to even stay in sight of her. Or so she thought...
Part 2: Ryoga... Eternally Lost, Remember?
"I know where I'm going, Kashin! " Ryoga shouted at the hapless robot, refusing the map that it'd offered as they wandered around the city.
He didn't fail to realize that it was lucky that he was still in Tokyo at this point, but he would be damned if he accepted directional help from Kashin.
"And take off that damn wig! "
"..." Kashin looked as dejected as a humanoid robot with a TV for a head can as he removed the cheery clown wig he'd been wearing.
"Don't give me that look, " Ryoga commanded as he turned to face Kashin, stopping in front of a hospital.
Not far away...
"You don't even know where I'm going! " Ranma shouted at his stalker.
"So? " Haruko smiled, irritatingly.
"And stop smiling at me like that! "
"... " Haruko gave her best look of mock dejection, with puppy dog eyes and all.
"Don't give me that look, " Ranma commanded as he approached the turn of the corner, which would lead to the front of the hospital.
Ranma made the turn and began to walk toward the hospital from the end of the street that Shampoo hadn't wrecked.
Ryoga turned again and entered the hospital, "Fine! I'll ask for help in this bank. "
Ranma had made his way to the door, then began to scale up the side of the building.
Haruko watched as Ranma quickly made his way to the room that he'd stayed in during his injury. She shrugged and decided to take the front door.
Ryoga had just at this time entered an elevator, quite by accident, and headed up toward the 7th floor; coincidentally, this was the same floor that Ranma was on.
Kashin turned to the stairs, missing Haruko by seconds.
Ranma left his previous hospital room and made his way to the elevator. He walked down the hall and nodded to nurses and doctors as though he knew them, and each doctor or nurse assumed he must be there by the authority of one the other doctors or nurses he'd nodded to. When he reached the elevator, he pressed the button and waited for the elevator to arrive. It was then that he noticed Kuno entering a room within sight of the elevator.
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None can hide from me!
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Ranma turned and took a left for the supply closet Kuno had presumably hidden in.
Ryoga fell forward out of the elevator, relieved that he wasn't in a demon tomb buried underneath the hospital, or some crazy thing like that. He then decided to find the stairs. He took a right, walking just past the stairwell that Kashin emerged from seconds later.
When Ranma entered the supply closet, he found that Kuno was picking up nutrient and medicine bags for IV drips.
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That son of a camel! I'll teach him to steal my ideas!
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It was true that Haruko didn't have any idea why Ranma had gone to this hospital, but, then, she also had no idea why she'd knocked out that nurse and stolen her uniform, nor why she had felt a compulsive desire to sell okonomiyaki to the people in the cafeteria. Suddenly the frame of the hospital shook. It was too brief to be serious.
"Minor earthquake..."
Ranma had hit the intern that had looked so remarkably like Kuno, yet surprisingly was not, hard enough to send the poor guy through two floors. Oh well... at least he had part of the drip set.
"Where am I now!? " Ryoga was pretty sure that this was no ordinary hospital. Well, he assumed that most hospitals did not have mysterious, huge machines belching steam in dark, forbidding rooms.
Perhaps that tunnel (Laundry chute) was not the best shortcut? He'd somehow ended up, from a subterranean laundry mat, ending up in this steel hell.
As it turned out, Haruko had hidden the nurse she had stolen her current attire from in this place, the boiler room.
Ryoga noticed the poor woman, who was chained and padlocked to a pipe, with a "kick me" sign taped to her side.
"There is only one devil capable of this sort of evil, " Ryoga reddened in anger, "RAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNMAAAAAAAA!!! "
Ranma had thought he'd heard something... but... naah, it must've been his imagination.
Imagine Doujima's surprise when she, undercover and watching to see whether or not Daisuke was a witch (he did survive quite a fall, after all), she'd been grabbed from behind by some loony with yellow eyes and quickly bound with chains and gagged. Then the freak had the nerve to tape a "kick me" sign to her!
Now there was some other loony shouting out the name of another witch that the MIB-J was looking for. God, she just loved her job so much.
"Don't worry, miss! " Ryoga tried to reassure her, "I'll punish the person that is responsible! "
And, with that said, he walked away in a random direction without even removing the woman's gag.
Haruko's gag was wearing thin on her attention span. Sure, selling okonomiyaki as a nurse sounded cool, but it just didn't give her the rush that usually came when she stayed near Ranma long enough. So she decided to find him and make up a reason for them to fight to the death. Wouldn't that be fun?
Kashin was not having fun. That was the short version. While not being an idiot of directions like Ryoga, he was, however, lost in his direction.
As it turns out, there had recently been added a trap door in one of the supply closets.
You may ask, "Why was Kashin in a supply closet? " Well, he was looking for Ryoga.... Moving on....
Well, he'd fallen a few floors onto someone that looked remarkably like a male equivalent to that one female sailor in red. Obviously that was not the case, for two reasons. The first being obvious, and the second being that sailors didn't generally tend to make squishing or crunching sounds... or loud cursing.
Apparently, the cursing had attracted hospital personnel, because Kashin heard the rattle of a doorknob. He decided it was time to go.
Haruko had heard some screaming from an unused room and made haste to soap out the offender's mouth.
Running in, she completely missed the gaping hole in the ceiling and proceded to grab the battered boy that she found.
She was halfway into her soaping when she realized that this boy looked quite a bit like Kuno. She dropped him and began savagely kicking him for not being present at the last battle.
When the hapless intern had begun to cry softly, she decided that that was very un-Kuno like, so she took the opportunity to vanish before the slowly responding real hospital personnel showed up to find an innocent intern.
The only person that showed up was Ryoga, though. He had had enough of wandering around in the hell that existed under the hospital and had decided to break the ceiling and travel vertically. That was possibly the one direction that did not cheat him at every turn. Right, left, forward, backward, sideways, diagonally, west, east, north, south.... they were all ne'er do wells and traitors in his eyes.
To his astonishment, he found Tatewaki Kuno lying face down, battered and in a pool of tears. He soundly thrashed the poor boy for stealing his schtick before realizing that Kuno probably didn't babble about singing raisins and dancing coke cans as much as this crying boy, so he hastily apologized and sprinted off to brain Ranma. After all, Ranma's presence at this hospital is what caused him to beat that intern.
Ranma had finally found Daisuke's room. He'd smuggled in a check book that had Daisuke's name on it.
"Uh... I don't have a checking account at the Bank of Tokyo... do I? " Daisuke blinked in surprise.
"Actually, alla my board members do, " Ranma smirked, "I got friends in high places. "
"Is it legal? " Daisuke asked, hesitantly.
"..." Ranma continued smirking without reply.
"Of course, " Daisuke hurriedly spoke up, "But, uh, how much is there? "
"About 3600, " Ranma shrugged and left the disappointed Daisuke behind, leaping out of a nearby (Luckily open, this time) window.
This disappointment would fade away when Daisuke recieved a timely statement that informed him that Ranma had missed a few zeros.
Ryoga protested when a very unhappy Kashin tried to drag him out of the hospital, "RANMA IS STILL HERE! "
Kashin pointed out a nearby window, which Ranma happened to be briefly visible from.
Unfortunately, Ryoga had been obstinately looking in the other direction... or maybe he had meant to follow Kashin's hand, we'll never know.
"We're staying right here until Ranma finds us, " Ryoga plopped onto the floor, "And that is that! "
Kashin hung his head in exasperation.
Haruko, however, was already leaving. Apparently a janitor had found Doujima and the police had arrived just in time to arrest her. Hopefully she'll escape jail in time for the next chapter.
Part 3: Ballad of Fallen Legendary Mad Martial Artists
Genma-panda showed up in front of the Green Bird Cathedral. This is where it all began... and where it all ended...
He entered at a slow pace, watching his sides with peripheral vision, he soon arrived in front of the raised altar. It was a large open room. The altar itself was a few yards ahead and was raised so that it was accessible only by two stone staircases that were located on either side of the room.
Nabiki Tendo was tied to a chair in front of him. A man in elegant renaissance French attire held an origami swan to the captive girl's throat.
"When angels fall out of heaven, they become devils, " a cloaked figure behind the altar spoke, "You agree, don't you, Genma? "
Genma's orbo glowed.
"Drop it, if you want your daughter to live, " the man said. He was Zostra. A very dangerous member of the Legacy. He was a master of killing by the element of air. It also so happened that he was the master of the Origami Paper Folding style of martial arts, but that's besides the point.
Genma squinted, then his clawed panda hand shot up and fired a chi bullet that picked Zostra off cleanly.
A fire fight ensued as Genma rushed forward and cut Nabiki's bonds before handing her his orbo necklace.
She ran to the exit, with the orbo absorbing any stray chi bullets that came her way.
Genma dodged the bullets and returned fire with his own. He was hit in the arm, then grit his teeth and blasted the sniper. Before long, it was just him and a cloaked figure standing with the altar to its right and a stained glass.
The figure reached for a katana hidden within its robes.
Genma poured a hot water kettle's contents over his head and adopted a fighting stance.
There was a split second of calm before the two rushed forward and met. Genma fired several shots and the figure took several swipes. Genma was unable to dodge the deathblow, but did manage to block it with an energy shield.
"You should see yourself now, " the figure spoke, "In you runs the same vicious blood. "
"I've bled that blood away, " Genma snarled.
"Then... " The two struggled with their current state of check, "WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?! "
There was a shot and a swipe. Genma fell through the stained glass.
"..." the figure watched Genma for a moment before looking down and seeing a concussion grenade. The eyes under the hood widened in realization.
Genma fell... he saw the bright flash of light above him. His life flashed before his eyes... Nodoka... Herb... the cathedral... then he saw himself stumbling in the streets, his wounds terrible... he awoke to hear Nodoka's humming. She stopped when she saw him. He spoke up, "I love your rendition of blue suede shoes, keep singing... "
Akane looked up as Genma-Panda growfed. She still couldn't believe the odds that not only did Dr. Tofu just happen to show up at the right time, but Gosunkugi had beaten her there. If it had been up to her, Genma would be laying at the bottom of the canal now.
Just as she started to hum again, the panda raised a sign, "Don't you know that Elvis is dead? "
She proceded to break it over his head and take her leave of him.
Soun chuckled from behind his paper.
Elsewhere, in a similar state, Kuno mumbled feverishly in his catatonia about coke cans and california raisins. Kodachi cracked her knuckles. She just couldn't listen to this nonsense any more.
AN 3/29/04: Wow! An update.
Haruko: No body knows the trouble I seen...
Cellmate: For the love of God! Shut up!
Haruko: Why can't we be friends, why can't we...
Cellmate: I'm gonna kill you!
Haruko: I shot the sheriff! But I didn't shoot the...
Cellmate: Why!? Why me!?
Haruko: ...
Cellmate: Never sing again. Ever.
Haruko: And that's the day the music died!
Cellmate: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Haruko: Sha la la la la!
Cellmate: *hangs self with bedsheet*
Haruko: Cool! Now I have the top bunk!
