Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Harry Potter or any characters or places in this story, they belong to JK Rowling. I am making no money from this story.
Author's Note: Sorry this took so long, but there was a lot I wanted to say here, and try to set up. It was all but done two weeks ago, and then I decided to change a lot of what I had. Still, I think it is at least a decent chapter, and one of the longest I've done. I have outlined and started on the next 8 chapters, though if I take as much time with those as I did with this one, I am sure I will be losing some readers. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews, I really appreciate the suggestions and support. Enjoy.
Jeremy
Chapter 14 Learning and Lessons
Hermione nearly dragged Harry into a quiet corner of the Common Room. Ron followed, along with Ginny who was casting anxious glances at the three of them. Being the first night back most of the students went immediately to their dorms so there wasn't really anyone to disrupt the conversation they were about to have.
"Are you alright Harry?" she began. "I'm surprised that the Sorting Hat actually announced that. I mean, I'm sure most people didn't get it, and it didn't really reveal anything substantial, but…" Hermione trailed off as she searched Harry's face for some reaction. Times like these were most frustrating for his friends, because Harry could be very stubborn when he was pushed, and certainly the Sorting Hat's song was forcing him to face his future.
After a moments pause he answered, though he bore a very stoic look on his face. "I just don't know. It wasn't anything that either side doesn't know already, but to have it thrown out there for everyone to hear, it just makes me uncomfortable. I'm not ready for this," he continued despondently. "I can't face what people expect of me, not when it comes to this, the prophecy. What if I fail?"
Ron shook his head, "Harry, it's not gonna be like that. I know you will win. We'll be behind you no matter what. Win or lose you only have to worry about your own expectations.
"No Ron, you don't get it. Don't you see, I can't just worry about myself. It's my responsibility now, and if I lose, then everyone loses. If he kills me, I….I know that he'll….he will kill you. All of you. I can't let that happen, but I don't know if I can stop him either. If it were just me I could handle that, but this…." Harry just shook his head. "I can't deal with this now." Harry rose quickly from his seat to go to his dorm. As he passed her, Hermione grabbed his hand. She held it only for a moment, and looked into his eyes compassionately, assurance belying in her friendly touch. Then she released him and he continued his course toward the dormitory.
Slowly Harry entered the room. He glanced lazily around the place that had been his home for the last five years and sighed heavily. The other three occupants were already in bed and speaking quietly. His trunk had been placed near his four-poster bed. He pulled out a pair of pajamas, and began to get changed. Ron came in a moment later and walked straight to his own bed. "Sorry mate." He said while his back was turned to Harry. "I know it's a lot for you to deal with, and I won't ever really understand that kind of pressure. But I'm still gonna be here for you. Friends to the end eh?" he sighed as he turned toward his best friend. "We've made it through a lot already, we can survive this too."
"Thanks Ron. That means a lot to me. Friends to the end." Harry smiled slightly, realizing how much Ron, and Hermione's friendship did mean to him. It was everything, and the only thing he had left to hold on to.
Ron nodded his head. "So, I can't believe Charlie is the new Professor. Or that nobody even bothered to tell us. Pretty wicked huh?"
Harry wasn't quite as interested in Ron's amazement at his brother's appointment to the Defense position. Certainly Charlie being the new Professor was a bit of a surprise, but Harry liked Charlie the few times the two had met. His mind was distracted at the moment, and he couldn't seem to shake off the dark thoughts that seemed to follow him from dinner. The Sorting Hat's song had bothered him a bit. As he listened to Ron's grumbling Harry smiled. Even if he were doomed to some horrible fate, his friends could at least grow up with relative normality. They simply didn't have to face the same things that Harry did. Well, maybe that is just a little selfish. He mused to himself. They would follow him to whatever end, and he knew it. Perhaps it was more that they could maintain a level of innocence, whereas he, at the ripe old age of sixteen, knew that he would one day have to kill, or be killed. Sure everyone dies, but none of his peers had any thoughts of when or how they would face death. Harry though, was fairly sure that he would be facing his soon enough, and it would be at the hands of Voldemort if he couldn't find a way to kill the dark lord first.
With these thoughts taxing heavily on his mind, Harry said goodnight to his Ron and crawled into bed. Harry sat in silence listening to murmurs as the other boys in his dorm talked about what they had been doing recently. Slowly the voices died away and was replaced by quiet breathing as the others fell asleep. Harry's mind wouldn't settle however, and he knew that he shouldn't go to sleep until he was under control. He pushed himself up in bed and focused his mind on the thoughts that were racing through it. One of the things that bothered Harry was that he had no idea of where his life was going. Well more he knew where it was going, but wasn't sure how he was going to get there. In the end, Harry would have to face Voldemort. He knew that, indeed he couldn't forget it now if he tried. The problem was that he was nowhere near ready for such a confrontation, and wasn't sure what he could do to get ready. He needed a direction, and probably a bit of time to sort out his problems. Harry lay awake again, only tonight it wasn't because of a nightmare or vision. He needed time to decide what to do, and he took it. It was several hours later that he came to several realizations as to what he could do, and that was a good start. Aside from speaking with Dumbledore, there were many ideas that he had mulled over. One of the first dealt with his friends.
It had occurred to him several times now that they all seemed so unbound by the thoughts that haunted him, and that was good. They could still be young. Of course they were affected by the war. Hermione was muggle-born, so she would be a target for Voldemort and the Death Eaters. While Ron, and Ginny, had all but one other member of their family in the Order of the Phoenix. During the first war these were the people who had fought directly against the Dark Lord, and had suffered high casualties. Harry doubted that they would be so lucky as to avoid similar results this time around. Actually Cedric Diggory, Bertha Jorkins, and Sirius had already fallen, and this was only the beginning.
So it was that Harry decided that he would protect his friends from all of this. He couldn't live with himself if he lost any of them. True, he wouldn't be able to keep them from the fighting that was sure to come, evidenced already by the trip to the Ministry a few months ago. But Harry already knew that his only hope of survival lay in his ability to kill. That was something none of them would have to face if he could help it.
The other things he thought of were a little more direct. He would have to study more, and train harder. Occlumency was a subject he would have to master, and if Dumbledore could not help him, Harry would submit himself to Snape's particular brands of torture. Harry knew how important this was now, he would even beg the Potion's Master if it came to it. Harry also wondered about researching other subjects that could possibly help him to defend himself, but even more about the need to be able to attack. He wasn't willing to wait any longer for his enemies to attack him so that he could shield himself, or disarm them, or trip them with a jinx. Harry wanted to know how to strike out at them before they had a chance to get him.
The many hours of deliberation had taken their toll, and Harry was now entirely exhausted. He had been lightly tracing his scar for most of the time he had spent thinking, and now as he tried to clear his thoughts his arm slowly slipped away from his head.
The light of morning crept over the forbidden forest and into the castle windows. Peaking through the drawn curtains it found Harry propped up in bed. Sometime in the short hours before dawn he had drifted off into a light slumber. The light hitting his face forced him to shield his tired eyes, but brought him back to consciousness. He groggily reached for his glasses and pulled them onto his face. Pulling back the curtains Harry found that he was the first to wake in his dorm. Being used to the lack of sleep through the holidays Harry decided it would be best to get an early start. He got dressed and headed down to the common room, only to find that it was empty.
Harry sat in his favorite chair by the fire and pulled out his potions book. While he lay awake last night he had silently come to the conclusion that he needed to put more effort into his studies, and Potions was certainly the course he needed to start with. Without Professor Snape breathing down his neck Harry was a decent Potions Maker. Yet, even though he had managed an O on his O.W.L. exams, and could therefore take the advanced course, he was sure that Snape wouldn't be any easier on him. If anything he would try that much harder to force Harry out of the class. Harry needed to be sure that he was prepared for whatever material the class would cover so that he wouldn't be distracted when the overbearing Professor began to single him out.
After an hour or so the common room came to life as the other Gryffindors rose for the first day of class. Hermione was the first of his friends to join him. She seemed caught between being pleased at finding Harry studying, and worry. She was very astute at reading people, and directed her concern for her friend as she sat next to him. "Hey Harry. Didn't you sleep well last night?"
"Good morning Hermione, and actually no I didn't. Thanks for asking. I just needed the time to think. I had some things to work out. I did manage a few hours though. How did you sleep?" he asked somberly.
"Oh, well honestly, I was a bit worried about you, but I did sleep alright." she replied as he put his book back in his bag. "You didn't have any dreams did you? Do you want to talk about it, or do you need to see Professor Dumbledore? I mean if your having dreams again maybe he should know about it."
Harry knew his friend was only showing her concern for him, even if he didn't want her to worry, so his response was toned. "Hermione, I didn't have any dreams last night. I've been practicing the Occlumency, and it's helping, even if I'm not that good at it. And yes, before you ask, I have had dreams over the summer, and Professor Dumbledore already knows. I've been having them all summer, but they aren't being controlled by Voldemort if that's what you mean. Still I suppose I'll mention it to him if I see him later." Hermione nodded in response. Harry's friends now understood him a little better, and knew that he needed to work some things out on his own.
Their conversation turned to the first day of lessons and what they expected when Ron joined them. A minute later they were following Ron's growling stomach out the portrait hole and down to breakfast.
The Great Hall was filled with excited students chatting merrily about their summers as the three friends made their way to their seats. Ron and Harry both began to pile food onto their plates, while Hermione took just a bowl of porridge. But as Ron reached for a plate of kippers something caught Harry's eye. He reached across the table and grabbed Ron's arm very suddenly. He held it steadily as he looked at the deep scarring that laced it's way up his arm. A look of concern crossed Harry's face as he released his friend. "Ron, I - I - I didn't know it was this bad. I mean, wow Ron. I'm sorry."
Ron however smirked at his friend's discomfort. "Harry mate, that's not your fault. I'm the bloody git who summoned the brain thing. It's not like you threw it at me, or even that you didn't try to stop me. Besides, it doesn't hurt anymore, and it looks kinda cool. Besides, you know what they say, chicks dig scars," he countered as he continued to smile. His last statement did get Hermione roll her eyes.
Harry, however was unconvinced. "Still if I hadn't been so rash to go off like that, you never would have been there. If I had just thought more first, it, well, it wouldn't have happened is all." Harry lowered his head while he spoke and was now speaking to his plate.
Ron glanced at Hermione for a second and then continued. "That's too many if's for anyone to deal with mate. Look it's not like you forced me, or anyone to go with you. You wouldn't have been able to stop me even if you had tried. It was my choice to go. You're my best friend, and I would follow you anywhere, both of you," he said as he returned his gaze to Hermione, "Friends to the end, right?"
"Harry nodded, "Yeah, you're right."
Hermione wore a grateful expression on her face for his kind words, as Ron continued, "Plus now you get to take the mickey out of me. You can say something like 'Oh Ron, you're the brains of the operation', and stuff like that." This caused the other two to choke as they tried to stifle their laughter. "What?" he asked.
"Ron, I doubt that you'll ever hear either of us say that. We love you and all, but it just isn't very likely," Hermione retorted. Ron blushed, but joined his friends in their laughter all the same. He didn't have a chance to comment though as Professor McGonagall made her way over with the new course schedules.
"So what does it look like this year?" Ron said while he scooped some eggs into his mouth.
"Actually Ron," Hermione replied, "Our schedules will probably all be a bit different this year. But let's see anyway." Ron shoved his schedule into her hands indignantly. "Well we have charms together first thing today, and then Care of Magical Creatures with the Slytherins. But see here, I have double Potions in the afternoon and Friday, while you have those periods free. How about you Harry?"
Harry looked up from his own schedule and passed it over to Hermione. "I have the same as you today. Can't wait for Potions though, look."
Ron nearly choked on the food in his mouth, "Are you feeling okay Harry?"
Hermione rolled her eyes but then looked at the Potions schedule. "Hey wait, Potions is with Ravenclaw this year. Oooh that will be a pleasant change don't you think? No more Malfoy to deal with." The three friends grinned widely at that thought.
"Still you'll have Snape. I definitely won't be missing him. Anyway what else do we have together?" Ron asked with a hint of apprehension in his voice.
Hermione stared at his face for a moment before she continued comparing their schedules. "Well there's Defense tomorrow, but then I have Arithmancy while you and Harry have Herbology. Same for Thursday. After that is Transfiguration. Then I have Runes in the evening and you two are off again. Hmmm." Hermione paused for a second while she looked down the rest of the sheet. "Those are the only differences actually. Except that Harry has a few of his free periods marked with a star and the note at the bottom says for him to see McGonagall After dinner tonight. What is all that about Harry?"
Harry shrugged his shoulders, "Beats me. I guess I'll find out tonight." He had his suspicions of course, about what those stars were for, but decided to hold off telling his friends until he was sure. He was saved from his deliberations however as Ginny came over to them dragging Charlie in tow.
"Hey you lot, look who I found," she announced once she got close enough. "Imagine my surprise at finding our big brother was the new professor this year. Why if I had any idea I would have found a gift to welcome him back to Hogwarts, but I guess his only little sister didn't need to know." There was a nearly imperceptible change in the tone of her voice that should have been a warning for Charlie, but Harry wasn't sure if he noticed. "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to come up with an, appropriate present, to show him just how we feel about him being here, even if he didn't tell us. Something from the Fred and George perhaps." An evil smirk traipsed across her face which was reminiscent of the twins.
That look wasn't lost on Charlie though, who grinned in return. "Hey Ron, Hermione," he said, nodding at each of them. Ron reached out his hand to his brother, who shook it. "How are the scars there Ron? I'll show you one I got at the dragon reserve last year. It's nasty, but you know what they say, chicks dig scars." This caused Hermione to roll her eyes again. "Alright there Harry? By the way, Mum made me promise to keep an extra eye on you lot. Not like you need it. But if any of you need something, let me know. I may be a Professor, but I'm your brother and friend first. Something I made abundantly clear to Dumbledore before I accepted the position. Which, by the way Ginny, was only a week ago. So before you go getting me 'my present', you might want to consider that I had to pack up and travel back from Romania. I didn't have much time to get here, let alone come and visit to tell you in person," he said, looking somberly at the youngest Weasley. "Besides, who do you think got Fred and George set on the path of mayhem?" Charlie finished with a wink.
"Now that you mention it Charlie, why are you here instead of Romania? I mean, I thought you enjoyed working with the dragons. Why come here?" Ron asked thoughtfully.
"Oh it's no big deal really. I do like to working with the dragons, but I was at the end of an operation cycle, it's usually a three year period where you work with a specific type of dragon. Anyway, I knew Dumbledore needed help, so I took myself out of the rotation and took the position. Simple really. Say don't you all have a class to get to? I would hate to write to Mum and tell her I gave you all detention on the first day because you were late for class. We can talk more later. Why don't you stop by my office? That sounds a bit weird, doesn't it."
So with a few goodbyes they made their way out of the Great Hall and towards the charms classroom, while Ginny had headed down to the dungeons for potions. The three friends were a few minutes early for class and took their usual seats. An odd sensation seized upon Harry as he pulled his book out of his bag. He felt very much as though he were being watched, and his eyes searched the room warily. Just as quickly as it had come the feeling dissipated. Harry turned back to his friends to see them staring at him intently.
The class began with tiny Professor Flitwick lecturing the class on their preparations for the N.E.W.T. examinations the following year, and outlining the material they would be covering. The first day proceeded in much the same way, each Professor giving information on the expectations for the N.E.W.T.'s. Harry did get a chance to speak with Hagrid after class to ask about his summer. Hagrid told them about his further attempts at teaching Grawp, his brother who happened to be a giant, and the continuing poor relations with the centaurs.
Much to Harry's dismay, Potions had started much the same this year as it had the last five. Harry was almost immediately singled out by Snape, although in the presence of the Ravenclaw students his tactics were much more subversive. In the end, Harry managed to escape from the dungeon classroom only having lost ten points for Gryffindor House.
The evening ended with Harry's meeting with Professor McGonagall after diner. She informed him that he would have three extra lessons a week. Keeping with his word from over the summer, Professor Dumbledore would be instructing him in Occlumency on Monday evenings beginning the following week. Also Harry would be having additional defense lessons Tuesday afternoons with Charlie Weasley, which his friends were welcome to attend, and finally advanced Transfiguration lessons with Professor McGonagall herself on Thursday evenings. All in all Harry was satisfied with the proposed additions. As he walked back Gryffindor tower he considered how little free time he would have left, between regular classes, extra lessons, and Quidditch; although it was what he needed to do to prepare himself for the inevitable face-off with Voldemort. He considered asking Ron about having some early morning practices for the Quidditch team, an idea that would probably take quite a bit of convincing.
