Welcome to Turtle Island

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with anything that sounds familiar! How boring am I?

Summary: Bloody Stupid Will the recently turned madman has just crashed the Black Pearl into a rather odd Island in the middle of the Caribbean! Random, crazy & just plain weird!

Chapter 3

The sun is setting and the dolphins where just brutally murdered by a bunch of mad mob members who hated Brittany Spears and her music.

Meanwhile Captain Elizabeth Swann and her crew now stood looking at the KFM menu sign deciding what to do next.

"So what types of monkeys are fried here?" Elizabeth asked one of the workers.

"Well we fry a whole range of monkeys here Miss. There's the Chimpanzee 10 piece meal, Spider Monkey nuggets and our latest addition to the menu is Popcorn Capuchin", the waiter replies happily.

At the sound of the word Capuchin the thought of a little furry monkey holding up a gold medallion popped up into Elizabeth's head.

"I'll have the Popcorn Capuchin meal." She told the worker with a nasty smile.

Back at the recently crashed Black Pearl local madman Will Turner wasn't having such a good time anymore. After blowing poor Marty out of the cannon he had become rather bored. There was nothing to do aboard the ship and his apple friend hadn't said a word after he ignored when Marty had arrived.

Sighing William sat down on the railing and scanned his surroundings.

"Apple, please talk to me", he pleaded after not being able to see anything of any interest.

There was no reply.

"I was right you don't talk much"

There was still no reply from the apple.

"Fine then I'll just sit here and do nothing", he said grumpily.

"Why don't you go explore the island", said a voice from his right shoulder.

"Ha! I knew you wouldn't ignore me forever apple" Will screeched, sounding very pleased with himself.

"I'm not the apple you fool", the voice replied.

Will turned his head to look at his shoulder. There sat a miniature him dressed in red with little horns coming out of his head.

"Are you my father?" he asked stupidly.

The little guy gave Will the most stupidest look ever before cracking up in laughter. Finally after around 10 minutes of non-stop insane laughter the little fella was calm enough to talk.

"No I'm not your father. I'm your shoulder devil" he informed Will.

"My shoulder devil? Shouldn't I have a shoulder angel as well?" he asked.

"Ugh...He is on um...holidays. You can call me Wevil", Wevil replied.

"Wevil? Ok then. So why do you think I should search the island?"

"Because your not meant to leave the ship! Duh", Wevil replied.

"Hmm. That's a good enough excuse for me", Will told his little devil self as he left the Black Pearl and onto Turtle Island.

Meanwhile somewhere unspecified Jack, Fred and the Commodore sat trying to work out why Elizabeth would take the Black Pearl and why James was meant to give a damn about it. These conversations somehow lead to the conclusion of evil penguins that had Elizabeth look-a-like robots and were out for world domination.

"I still don't see what this has to do with me," Norrigton told the two.

"Well you see, while all those little penguins are out there going about there evil plans where is the real Elizabeth I wonder? That's where you come in" Jack replied happily.

"...and I am meant to care about her?" James asked.

"Hey! I thought you wanted to marry her," Fred blurted out. Finally he had something to complain about.

"I did?"

"You did?"

Both Jack and Norrigton gave Fred an odd look before deciding to ignore him and continuing on with the present conversation. After another half hour with nothing else for Fred to complain about James had agreed to go along and help Jack and Fred find the Black Pearl and the real Elizabeth.

"I guess we will be taking one of my ships then", Norrigton said as they made there way down to the docks.

"No. We are taking Fred's. Much faster" Jack replied.

Fred nodded. Poor fella hadn't said anything in 30 minutes and had instead just sat their chewing gum. So it seemed that his jaw had glued itself together with a little help of his bubblegum of coarse. As Fred tried pulling his teeth apart Jack and James hopped into the little speedboat.

"This thing doesn't look like it will go very fast", Norrigton said giving the boat an ugly look.

"Trust me it goes fast. Just ask the kid"

So that's what James did but Fred still hasn't gotten his mouth open due to over chewed chewie.

"Is there something wrong with him?"

Jack looked at Fred who was now pulling very odd faces as he had somehow just managed to bite his tongue with his glued shut mouth.

"I'm not sure. He must come from a very strange place. Just take a look at his clothes", Jack told James with an amused look.

Fred just glared before jumping into the boat and they made their way off into the sunset.

Meanwhile a very sore Marty sat up on the pile of rocks he had just landed on. Swearing in a few different languages that I am sure were made up Marty took a look at his surroundings.

"Rocks, sea, tree, tree, person, tree, tree, pink elephant, tree, tree, rubber duck tree and another tree", Marty said aloud attracting the attention of the person he mentioned.

"TRESPASSER!!" the person screamed running towards Marty, "My rocks get off! Off them I tell you. OFF MY ROCKS"

Marty stood stunned. This was the weirdest person he had ever seen or met or well anything. He was dirty, crazed looking, had what looked like a pink glove dangling from one arm and was extremely smelly.

"Who the hell are you?" Marty asked as it was the first thing that popped into his head. Well the second! The first was "What the hell are you?" but he thought that might anger the man and he had enough dealings with madmen to last him a lifetime.

The man blinked a few times before replying, "I am Captain Rubber Glove if you must know but as you are on my rock I think it is I that should be asking that question"

It was Marty's turn to blink this time. "Ugh...Well I am Marty...Just Marty. I am a crew member of the Black Pearl"

Captain Rubber Glove just gave Marty another crazed look before sitting down on one of the rocks.

"So.... How did you get the name Rubber Glove", Marty asked trying to strike up a conversation with the man.

"You insulting my name are ye? ARE YE? ARE YE?" he screeched leaping up.

"No! I was just wondering" Marty replied quickly whilst backing away a bit.

"Oh", he said sitting down and holding up his rubber glove, "Well that's kinda a long story! It's my brother's entire fault. Mangy horrid stupid stinky.... thing he is. He got he hand chopped off and fed to a croc so he came and chopped mine off in anger and what does he get? A nice shinny hook to go on his arm and I get this! A RUBBER GLOVE! Always knew our parents favoured him. Stupid annoying smelly horrid things they are too"

Marty just nodded. I mean what could say to that after all. The guy was clearly the REAL local madman.

TBC

Jack the Monkey from the film is a Capuchin monkey. Just thought I would let you know.

Aaaaahhhhhhhh I can't get to my review page thingy kicks computer

Well thanx to anyone who reviewed anyway!!