PROBLEM! Oh my god! This little crap sack wouldn't let me update my story!I don't know why, but it is propbably my fault, so what i had to do was to delete the story and repost it!sobs i lost all my reveiws!So sad! so please reveiw, so i will feel better...that is, only if you care...which nobody does so now i wonder why i am writting this...

Disclaimer: You know I don't own this, I mean,come on! I don't even posses the attention span of a peanut, so really, one must ask themselves, could a moron of this caliber create something so divine? Seriously!

Notes:...yeah, did I mention the continuos caffeine high?...Cuz that explains almost everything...almost...but not the beavers...never the beavers... But it does explain the OOC-ness, or at least ...I can only hope...Oh, and this chapter is dedicated to hikki116 and ASweetKissFromPoisonedLips. Luv ya lots! glomps both

Chapter 2: Lutraphobia: the fear of otters

Kakashi whistled a happy little tune as he almost skipped to his favorite place in the world. It was a little bookshop not too far from the place where he had watched Gai humiliate himself in front of almost all of Konoha. Damn, what a great way to spend a nice sunny day. He looked at his watch and saw that it was only 7:00 and that the book store would be opening about now. He quickened his lazy pace and grinned in anticipation. Today was a good day.

He reached the store just as the lady that owned it and her daughter unlocked the door. He gave a casual wave to the two women and the youngest let out a loud sgueal and tried to jump him. Not that he didn't appreciate the free feel that came with it, he didn't enjoy it when the owner came over and tried to beat her off with a broom, whacking him several times in the process.

He escaped that fiasco with only a few bruises and stepped over to the 'special interest' section. The anticipation of reading his perverted novel was almost too much to bear as he did his 'happy happy' dance when he spotted it. He quickly snatched it and ran to the counter at thefront of the store, all the while dancing his special dance. The daughter from earlier checked out his purchase and looked up at the man in front ofher. Kakashi couldn't resist and wiggled his eyebrows at her. Poor girl almost died from blood loss.

Kakashi stood on top of the Hokage monuments and opened his new book. He knew that he had already stood up his team again for about an hour, but right now he didn't care. He randomly picked a page to start reading at, and gaped in horror at what he saw. What was that man doing with that otter? Kakashi managed a girly scream that surprised even him, and chucked the book as far away as he could. The book went over the side of the monument, and landd with a thud and a scream...A scream? He went over to inspect. The poor woman had the book imbedded in her forehead, at leat a good inch or so. If that didn't kill her, then he hoped she wouldn't open it, because the otter insde would do it for him. He cursed his good aim, and this incident also convinced him that he was right about otters being the devil's spawn.

Those...things were vicious, and probably part of a conspiracy for world domination. He always suspected them of something, trying to look inconspicious as they floated in the water on their backs and watched every move he made. They were probabl gathering informaton on him to cause his untimely demise, damn things. See, these were not happy and cute creatures like a ferret, or a walrus, they were sneaky, and you could never guess what tey were up to underneath the water. Probably building nuclear weapons using clam shells and toilet paper. If that is even possible, which i don't know, so why don't all you kiddies go home and testthat theory out... ummm yeah... eh-heh...

So, anyways, to make a long story short, lets just say that Kakashi had plenty of baised facts against these evil spawns of satan. Have i mentioned that they were baised?... because if you heard all of them, you would not only question Kakashi's sanity, but your own as well, if you aren't already, for reading this fic in the first place

Kakashi slunk away from the crime scene, not wanting to be wrongfully convicted of murder. Sure, it was his book, and he threw it, but...but IT WASN'T HIS FAULT! IT WAS THE OTTERS!... ok...so, calming down now...

"HATAKE KAKASHI! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING!"

'Shit' It was the Hokage

"HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS!" She was holding up the horrible and evil blood stained book of ottery-doom.

'double shit'

"YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR MISDEEDS...WITH...hmm i shall have to think about this..."

'Fuckitty fuck fuck fuck' These people were believing the horrible lies the otters were setting up for his doom.DAMN THEM ALL!

Jirarya stood behind the monuments, silently watching this event. As soosn as the Hokage and her prisoner were out of hearing range, he started to cackle like a mad man. This was indeed proving to be a wonderful day! Now ... what was it that he had to do?...Oh, yes, of course, research...

TO BE CONTINUED...i hope...

RANTS:

I love you people! I got a bunch of lovely reviews from everyone! It made me sooooo happy! So you all have to review, or i seriously will go and find a corner to curl up and die in! Seriously!...okay, i admit it, i really am a horrible liar...but i still will go and curl up in a corner...Please...reveiw...Oh, and my idea is that all the phobia stories are linked like this to the chapter before it, so Jirarya is next...eh-heh...Such fun we shall have with this...such fun...Wow, i sound really creapy...oh, well, what can you do!...Now that i've read this story, it doesn't seem as funny as the other one...i'm sooooooo sorry...sobs i really truely suck, don't I? Don't worry, i won't mind if you don't like it...just be nice...sigh i think i should shut up now...But i have to tell you something funny! When i did spell check on this thing, it told me that the word "motherfucker" was one word... and this was at school...Isn't that odd... A school computer fixing my swear words...