This is a very long chapter because it was probably the chapter I wanted to write the most. But its the one your either gonna hate me for or love me for, so here is the warning I have to put up.
Warning: this chapter contains a lot of smack against god and Jesus. And Jesus isn't that nice… So if you believe in god and/or are christened and easily offended, I suggest you either don't read it or skip down till it says "meanwhile"…. I don't want flames against me for writing it. I've giving you warning… thank you
And for those who are still gonna read it despite the warning…enjoy
As expected, a cloud of hot stream raised from under the door as the metal entrance with all the Latin engraved opened. Out of the stream stepped a thin figure with large dragon like wings folded behind him. His hair was sleeked back, he skin was its same blood red color, and between his fingers held a joint. Take one last hit before sending the joint behind him; he closed the door to hell.
Pepito scaled the stairs from the basement, calling out for his parents. Must have already left. He took a sharp turn and walked up to the front door, notice how quiet it was in the house compared to hell.
Pepito opened the door with a clawed hand and stepped out into the bright sunshine. He winced in the bright sunshine. He reached out his long leather wings, and with a sharp thrust, he was shot straight up into the air a few dozen feet. He batted his wings a few more times, sending him towards his unwanted goal.
Pepito landed on the sidewalk, folding his wings behind him. He stared in disgust at the garbage that over pored from the bin and litters the sidewalk and the few strains of grass that grew here. Almost gagging at the mess, he looked onward towards the small bunch ahead of him.
A very tall shadowy figure stood beside the booth, with his long claws resting on the shoulders of a happy older woman. Pepito attempted to smile towards his parents as he approached them, but then he remembered what he was dealing with and the small smile disappeared.
"Thanks father for helping me with…this." He said, failing in hiding his hatred. Satan merely shrugged it off. "Its no problem really. I had to deal with him when I ruled hell and when he created me."
"If I may ask, why is mom here?" Pepito asked as Satan walked his dazed wife toward the front of the booth. "She wanted to meet God. And I figured that caused she's married to me and gave birth and raised you, I think its ok for her to meet him."
A bored man with uncombed hair and goatee read an old magazine for the umpteenth time. He looked up at the odd people in front of him, blocking his light. "Can I help you?" he voice uncaring.
"We're here to find out if somebody is here since you obviously wouldn't tell my worker." Pepito snapped.
The bored man sighed. "Im sorry, I cant give out that info. You have to get permission from the big guy for that." He said before returning to the magazine.
"Ok then, were is the lazy ass that runs this place?" Pepito said bitterly. Satan set a clawed hand on his sons shoulder. "Calm yourself Pepito." The devil said sternly, "He's right over there."
Pepito turned to see the familiar god, sitting in his lazy boy chair, with that odd creature that carried it. Father must have made that for him. There's no way god thought that up. Next to the large and plump god stood a thinner and taller version of himself. This man had bushy bread and a ring of barbed wire round the top of his head, blood running into his long brown hair. He was a good 6' tall he held a blank face. Pepito smirked at the duo.
"Well if it isn't the great and powerful god and his son Jesus. How wonderful to see you again." His voice was icy and he doubts he could be anymore sarcastic. He spilt himself from his fathers grip and walked over to the Son of God.
"Hello Pepito. "Jesus soft smooth voice said. "What do I to the unwanted intrusion?" He said calmly.
"Oh don't act so high and mighty, Jesus. Im not here because I want to see you." Pepito glared at him.
"Then why are you bothering heaven with your sinful ways?" the Christ spoke his words with hate lingering to escape.
"'Sinful ways'? At least my parents were married when they had me, yours on the other hand…. they fornicated and were never married."
Satan strolled up to the mass of fat and power that was God. The large short man looked at him from his chair. "Well well, if it isn't the evil angel that became the ruler of hell."
The devil chuckled. "Nice to see you your memory is still working." God moved around in his chair slightly, trying to get into a comfy position as the creature that cared for him handed him an apple.
"Damn it, I hate these. Why do you have to put me on this stupid diet?" he complained but biting into this apple.
"Because you'll feel better if you lose some weight." Replied the creature. God sighed and swallowed the bite. He glared at Satan. "I must thank you ever so much for creating this caretaker for Me." its doubtful he could be more sarcastic. "So, why are you here?"
"Because my son is on a quest to find a location of a mister Johnny C. but hasn't been able to find him. He isn't in our records and we believe him to still be alive. Have you any idea about his whereabouts?"
"Oh yes. Johnny. He was up he about twenty years or so back. He was very hard to control. We sent him back to you, then to earth I guess. And I haven't seen him yet. Not that I was expect to either."
"So he is still alive?"
God stared out into space for a moment. "Yes, he is still alive, but just barely. But he wont be alive for long."
Miss Satan walked by her angry son and her stood beside her tall husband, glancing up at god. Her face held a look of awe that she was seeing the actual god. Though he was nothing like she had been taught that he looked like, but still, since she found out that her husband is Satan and her son is the antichrist, she knows that this is the real god.
She didn't call attention to herself, being in his presences felt like it was honor enough. Soon though, she became bored with her husbands talk, and her son and the other man (whom she guessed was Jesus, because of his "perfect" body) just yelled at each other.
She let her eyes wonder. They placed over rows of people, lined up in chairs; all with those blank expressionless faces. They continued on the search until she spotted a small woman off into the distance. She was walking towards them. She wasn't very old, not much older then the man her son was fighting with.
She had long brown hair that curled at the end by her shoulder blades. Her skin was pale and her build was very small. She approached Ms. Satan with a smile on her face.
"Good to see a unzombiefied face." the woman said in a soft voice. She held out her hand for her. "Hi, Im ms. Diablo."
"Hello. Im Mary."
"Its good to met you, Mary." She smiled at her sweetly. "So what's it like being married to god?"
"Its not that good. He kind of thinks too much of himself. And the love life has never been good, so yeah, it kind of sucks. But anyways, what's it like living with Satan and your son?"
"Its very good. Juan is a loyal husband. And Pepito is a wonderful son. He visits me a lot and, not to bragged, but Juan is a wonderful lover."
"You want to know something about god that most don't?" Mary asked, pulling her form the earshot of there husbands. She nodded and Mary leaned forward and whispered in her ear.
"Most people think that god wanted Jesus to be pure, so he made me have him as a virgin. But no. He's really impotent. He couldn't have had sex with me if he wanted to." At this point, both women exploded into a cloud of laugher.
There laughter soon faded when the young men's voice broke though the air.
"How dare you speak about my parents that way!" Jesus screamed at the red skinned antichrist before of him. Said demon was just staring there is a smirk plastered on his face. This only pissed him off more.
"Well at least my mother didn't fuck the most evil, vile thing in existence! And then she gave birth to a scrum hybrid. She's no better then either of you!" Jesus screamed, looking at Satan uneasily stern face to Pepito glowing red eyes and clenched fangs.
"I can take you insulting me, but never insult my mother!" Pepito said before the fire and explodes fired off towards the saver of the christen world.
Meanwhile….
With a pull of a thin metal chain, a light bulb flickered to light, showing a room covered in dark stains. Bones where chained to the wall in different positions, some with there head tilted back, as if in an eternal scream.
Dani looked around with a blank face and quickly made a note of this room on the blank piece of paper in her hand. Squee had encouraged her into the tunnels under the house, but also recommended that she make a map so she doesn't get lost on the way up. So far, this is the fourth room she's come across, and she's probably about 3 stories underground.
She kept walking toward to the door that hung at the other end of the hinges. She pushed it open and continued down the stairs into the deep darkness. Anyone else would have been scared at what you may find, but strangely she wasn't. She just kept going down until she felt the edges of another door under her fingers tips.
She opened the door and reached her hand into her jacket pocket, suddenly remembering the flashlight. The light flicked on, reliving a four-foot drop into a pool. The floor of the empty pool as stained with no doubt blood.
Suddenly, something caught her attention. The smell. All the other rooms had the smell of either rotting flesh or of death. No, this room as the fresher smell. It was still rotting bodies' kind of smell, but also sweet and rotten food of some sort.
She swung her flashlight around towards the area for the stronger smell. She figured it was safe; she jumped into the pool and looked around the other side were the shadows engulfed it, looking for something.
Then something faint echoed in her ears. The dripping of water and the faint and shallow breathing that wasn't her own. She walked toward the breathing, flashlight still shining, but the darkness was thick and she could only see three or four feet in front of her.
Her feet splashed into something clear at her ankles. Water, tinted with old blood. The breathing was becoming louder now.
Finally the light found the source of said breathing and Dani stood shocked and ecstatic at the same time. An evil smile crawled across her face as she looked at this object in her flashlight.
"Hello Johnny."
Sorry for the long wait on this chapter. Not only was I very busy, but also I had total writers block and couldn't remember what I was writing.
Anyway, ill get the next one up soon. Hope you enjoyed this one
Please don't flame me. Reviewing is better.
