Wow... I hadn't thought it would take this long to write this, and I'm not even done yet! I'm so impressed with myself, I'll say it backwards, Wow. Anyway, this chapter has a more T rating, or PG-13, whatever.
In the morning he wakes to the feel of a warm body next to his, and temporarily, he panics. But then he remembers her, and what had happened.
His eyes snap open, and he turns to look at her peacefully sleeping form. As he carefully scrutinizes her, he notices that the bruises have become darker and her tender flesh is swollen.
Quietly, he slips from the warmth of the bed to go get something to stop her skin from swelling any more, and as a second thought he heads to the bathroom to find some aspirin. As he rummages through the mess he calls a medicine cabinet, she screams. Her screams are so loud and so frightened that he fears the neighbors might call the police, but he also fears for her.
Dropping everything, he races to the bedroom. When he skids to a halt next to the bed, he reaches out a trembling hand to still her, and his voice is quiet but firm as he pleads, "CJ. CJ please wake up. It's a dream, wake up, please. Oh, CJ, please."
It takes a moment, but suddenly she sits bolt upright in bed, eyes wide open. Frantically, she scans the room, until the only thing she hasn't looked at is the man standing in front of her wearing a look of deep concern. When she finally meets his gaze, he could almost feel her fear in the look she was giving him. He sits behind her, and gently wraps his arms around her comfortingly. She leans back in his arms until her head is resting against his shoulder, and she gazes up at him through the tears silently falling out of her eyes. He gently smiles down at her, slowly leaning down to kiss away each tear. And as he pulls away, he realizes something. Something he'd said, but never meant before. Something he should have known before but was blind to it, but now…
Now, in this moment it came to him, with blinding clarity. He was in love with CJ Cregg. His best friend, his confidant, his anchor, his drinking buddy, his lover, his everything. He was in love with CJ Cregg, and she needed him. Needed him to be the man that was her lover, not her big brother.
His voice is soft and hesitant as he says, "CJ… If you need to talk, I'll listen."
She stares up at him from his shoulder for a moment, then she quietly asks, "Y-you mean it?"
"CJ… When I say something, something to you anyway, I mean it."
She looks at him for a second, then adjusts herself ever so slightly. As she begins to speak, her voice is timid, "Toby… I-I don't know where to start…"
He presses his face close to her hair to inhale her scent, and murmurs, "Say what you need to, sweetheart. I don't care where you start."
If she heard the pet name, she didn't show it. She took a deep breath, and began to speak, "Well, you know I left work early last night, right? I left at five. I went out on a date. Dinner was nice, at a good restaurant. But after," he feels her body quake against him, but she move on, "After dinner, he pushed me up against a wall in an alley. He said that he wanted me, needed me right there. And I said no, so he tried to take what he wanted. He- he grabbed my… my breasts and he… he touched my- my, Oh god Toby! He touched my-"
She began to sob, body clenching in pain, both physical and emotional. Gently, he slid out form behind her to retrieve the aspirin from the bathroom.
"D-don't leave! P-please don't! I'm s-"
He quickly turns around, "CJ, I'll be right back. I won't leave you, ever. I promise."
Moving swiftly, he goes to the bathroom to grab the aspirin, and wet the wash cloth again. He grins at her as he returns, "See? Never even knew I was gone… Here, take these."
Mindful of her bruises, he climbs into the bed, behind her again. Gently, he places the cloth against her stomach where the worst of the bruising is. She sighs, and leans back against him, quietly asking, "So I don't disgust you?"
He's careful not to let the surprise show as he replies, "No. What he did to you wasn't right, and you didn't want it… Did he manage to…?"
She sits in puzzled silence until she understands what he's asking, "No… almost… but no."
They sit together quietly for a few minutes until he can't take it. He needs to know. "CJ… Who- who did this to you?"
Her entire body tenses against him, "Why?"
He caresses her for a moment before responding, "So I can go kill him."
She tips her head to look at him, "Why?"
"Because I don't want him to do that to you ever again… Because I- I love you."
A blank stare greets him. She's known that they were close. And she's only ever heard him say that when they… they what? Had s-… No… When they made love. Oh god. Suddenly she realizes that maybe, just maybe, those words uttered out of habit really meant something. Maybe he meant that he loves her like in love, loves her, not just the brotherly love and sisterly love they had shared for all these years. And maybe, she loved him back. "You love me?"
"Yes."
"You're in love with me?"
"Yes. And your avoiding my question."
"I think I'm in love with you too, Toby."
"You still haven't answered my… You think you're in love with me too?"
She smiled, all the pain of the past night forgotten at the look on Toby's face, "Yes. In fact, I'm almost certain I'm in love with you."
"If you're in love with me then, please tell me who did this."
Tears welled in her eyes, pain rushing back into her, "I can't Toby… But think about it, think about it and it'll come to you."
He looks at her for a moment, puzzled. After a few minutes a look of horrified realization appears on his face, "You don't… you can't mean… Leo did this to you?"
Unexpected turn there! Anyway, please R&R for me, I was thinking I would go on, but you never know...
