No Matter How Dark the Night

Chapter 8

Hi all- once again accept my apologies for the delay. School, accompanied by a serious case of writer's block, has delayed this chappie. But I'm back and I hope you all enjoy.

Isthia contemplated what Maester Mika had told her earlier that morning as she awaited Auron's arrival in the secluded apartment they shared. It WAS her duty to go back to Kirin as an upstanding member of Yevon. But, at the same time, her heart screamed at her that it was wrong, that it betrayed everything she had ever believed in, that nothing could ever take the place of the love she shared with Auron. She sighed. It was not fair. It wasn't fair that a sixteen-year-old girl had to deal with this. She was too young to be a wife! At least, to be a wife with so much expected of her. However, she remembered something Auron's mother had told her long ago, as she lay dying. It came to her mind as she watched the sun set.

"My dear, Spira is not a world that nourishes the young, nor tolerates their dreams. It's a vicious place, which forces people to grow up much sooner than anyone would like. Sin is ever present, and it waits for no one to grow up. Some things remain the same no matter how old you are. And the best we can do is accept these things and move on, while keeping our humanity. That's what separates us from Sin."

Isthia snapped out of her reverie as Auron came up behind her. She had not even heard him approach. His hands descended on her shoulders as he turned her to face him. His lips met hers in a warm, tender kiss. As always, she yielded to the embrace, feeling her legs go weak at the fire in his touch. Any thoughts she had entertained about doing the right thing by duty melted like butter in a hot skillet at the demands of her heart.

A few hours later, Isthia lay against Auron's chest, her fingers tracing a pattern over the ridges of his body. He stroked her hair idly for a few moments, then got up, drawing a robe around his muscular frame. Isthia sat up, holding the sheet against her.

"What is it, my love?" she queried, her voice soft in the fading twilight. Auron glanced at her, his eyes tender.

"You know I will never love anyone as I love you, Isthia," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in his. She nodded. Auron opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again and got up, restlessly pacing the room.

"So how can Molkan expect me to deny everything I am ready to die for to marry someone I hate?! All because it's what SHE wants!!" His rage surprised Isthia, who got up as well, holding the sheet wrapped around her. She went to him where he stood on their balconey with his back to her. She placed a hand on his back and rubbed gently. He turned to face her, his eyes flashing.

"So, he wishes you to marry Gaia," Isthia murmured, lowering her head. Auron nodded.

"Yes, and it's quite clear what my fate will be should I be so impertinent as to refuse," Auron said acidly.

Isthia looked up, resignation on her face. "Now it seems the hard hand of duty reaches for both of us, beloved. You are bound by duty to marry, and I am bound to return to the one I was duty-bound to marry. It is, indeed, a hard and demanding master."

Auron blinked. "Bound to return to Kirin? NO!! Not while I have breath to draw! He shall not have you!!"

Isthia raised her head, tears of anger and frustration in her eyes. "You think I want it this way? You think it's easy for me to just give in to the one thing that repulses me most in the world? Think about it Auron! It means your life! If you don't marry Gaia, Molkan won't stop until you're dead for that humiliation! And if I don't return to Kirin, he will not give up until he has found me and all obstacles," Isthia waited until Auron looked at her. "ALL obstacles to his desire will be removed, one way or the other."

Auron looked away, her words echoing in his mind. She was right, damn it all. One thing Isthia had was the gift of getting right to the crux of the matter. Still....

"NO!!" he shouted, bringing his fist crashing down onto the small table at his side and rushing to Isthia, pulling her into his arms. "I'm not going to lose you to duty. To hell with duty! I love you Isthia, and that is worth anything, even death!"

Isthia pushed him away so that she could look into his eyes. "It may be worth it to you, but not to me. I will NOT see you hang for me! If you love me at all, Auron, please..."

She couldn't finish the sentence, as her tears began to fall.

Auron's head drooped in defeat. "Isthia," he murmured, taking her into his arms once more. "Don't cry, my angel, please. I can bear anything except your tears."

Isthia looked up at him. "Then don't make me cry forever, Auron, because that is what my life would be if you leave me this way. Even...even doing what will hurt us most, death is even worse pain than that. Yevon demands too many sacrifices as it is. Don't give it another. Marry her." Auron's head shot up to protest. "Marry....her...." Isthia said again, drawing out the words for the full effect. Auron stood staring at her for what seemed like ages before finally nodding.

"And you'll be returning to Kirin?" he asked, though he knew the answer.

"Yevon demands it," Isthia said, "though it will kill me softly every day until my pilgrimage is complete."

Auron could take it no longer. In a voice he hardly recognized as his own, he said softly, "Then stay with me, Isthia, for one more night. Give me a memory to cherish until the day when death releases us from the chains of duty and we can be together once more. Love me a lifetime's worth tonight."

The next morning, Auron stood in his best robes overlooking one of Bevelle's many harbors at the gates of the palace, watching the bridal procession walk towards him. Gaia shone as brightly as the sun, the iridescent fabric of her dress and veil a blinding white in the morning air. Seven girls walked in her train, garbed in pastel hues of pink, yellow, and lavender, save one, who wore all three in a graduation of colors. Isthia. Auron's breath caught at the sight of her. Gaia had requested her as matron of honor, a last cruel jab at what was left of Auron's heart. And what a jab it was, for never in his life had Auron seen anything so beautiful. The dress flowed seamlessly from one color to the next, the yellow closest to her face, the lavender at her feet, falling around her figure in a waterfall of delicate silk. Though she kept her eyes lowered most of the time, for a brief instant she raised her head and looked Auron straight in the face. He had just reached for Gaia's hand as she did so, but the look in her eyes froze him where he stood. Maester Mika had begun the vows, and he waited for Auron's response.

"Do you, Auron of Bevelle, take this woman to be your wedded wife, in accord with the blessing of Yevon upon this union, to love and comfort her, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and forsaking all others, keep yourself for her alone, all the days of your life?"

But Auron was not looking at Gaia. His eyes were riveted on Isthia, who held his gaze. The aura between them was almost visible. Gaia dug her nails into Auron's palm as if to recall him to the present. Without looking at either Gaia, Molkan, or Maester Mika, he heard himself saying, "I can't."

Gaia's breath hissed out of her. "You can't?! No, Auron, the typical response to that question is usually 'I do.'"

Auron slowly tore his eyes from Isthia's face, now frozen in a mask of surprise.

"I can promise you all these other things, Gaia, but I cannot keep myself for you alone. My heart was spoken for long ago. I cannot give it to you. You may do what you wish with me, but I will not betray my heart."

Isthia reeled, but managed to stay upright. Gaia's eyes blazed with emerald fire.

"So," she said, dropping his hand. "This is what you want."

Auron stepped over to Isthia and took her hand. "No, this is what I want. To live my life with this woman in peace."

Gaia's eyes fell on Isthia, and her face crumpled. Slowly she backed away until she stood on the edge of the harbor, over two hundred feet above water.

"You will never have peace, Auron, not after this!" And she toppled backwards off the harbor, hitting the water and killing her instantly.

Isthia screamed, Molkan yelled at the honor guard to seize them, and a tall Guado stepped out of the shadows. Jyscal. "Milady, this way!"

The sight of Jyscal galvanized Isthia. Seizing Auron's hand, she ran towards him, following as he led them away from the scuffle.

Once they were away and hidden, Isthia rounded on Auron. "WHY?!" she cried out, collapsing on the pavement.

"I couldn't do it." Auron shook his head in surrender. "No matter what it costs, I couldn't do it."

Isthia buried her head in her hands. "Lord Jyscal..."

"Milady, I cannot bear to see you suffer. I know that Auron will become a fugitive and that you have given your word to return to your husband. Do not worry milady, I will look after him."

Isthia raised her head with tears in her eyes. "You understand my reasons, don't you Jyscal?" The saturnine Guado nodded, his gentian eyes twin pools of sadness. "And I will always be here to help you Milady."

Isthia ran to him and embraced him. He held her gently, then stepped away. "Now then, about the business of getting you away from Bevelle," he said, turning to Auron. Auron nodded, still confused about Isthia's 'reasons.'

"Follow me," Jyscal commanded, then stopped. "AFTER you say a proper goodbye to your lady. For it will be impossible to see her again, you know." Auron nodded again.

Isthia stood watching him. He closed the gap between them so fast she barely had time to draw breath. The kiss lingered for what seemed like forever, but was over before it began. As he pulled away, they both had tears in their eyes. "I'll always love you Isthia Ravenhart! Always!" And Auron vanished into the shadows behind Jyscal.

Isthia slowly made her way to the apartment she had shared with Kirin. Placing her hand on the door, she took a deep breath before pushing it open. Kirin was seated in the living room, a prayer book in his hand. He was on his feet immediately as Isthia entered.

"You've returned," he said quietly. She nodded.

"I have- to be a proper wife and deny you nothing. I do your bidding, Kirin, and deny you nothing." Isthia bowed her head.

Kirin stepped toward her, and tilted her chin up. "Nothing?" he questioned. She held his gaze. He dropped her chin and took her hand, guiding her to the bedroom. She didn't resist, even when he laid her down and claimed her lips with his. Later, as he lay sleeping beside her, Isthia's tears fell...for what had occurred, the love that she had lost...and for the child she carried within her- the last remnant of Auron she had left.

Tell me what you think- I hope you guys like this next chapter in the saga.