Ch. 17 The Day After Two Days Ago
Spolier: Not mine.
He stared back at Lily's grave, what he wouldn't give to have her alive. She would know exactly what to do. She always did. Stupid cancer.
She was wearing a long, black dress with her red hair spread majestically on her shoulders. The necklace he'd given her for their first anniversary stood perfectly around her neck and her smile was in tact as she slowly walked towards him, with a soft smile as the sea crashed on the shores of what looked like Monte Carlo. He looked down at himself and saw he was wearing black pants that were pulled up with no shoes, and he was wearing a shirt that was open. He looked up and saw her standing in front of him.
She held out her hands for him, and he took them smiling with disbelief. "Hi," she whispered as another wave crashed.
"Hi," he said stiffly looking at her in disbelief.
She put his arms around her waist and walked drew closer to his body, looking straight into his eyes. He stared back with an amused smile, thinking that what had happened before had just been a nightmare. For a moment he thought he would wake up and find a baby Harry sleeping on his chest in the living room of Godrics Hollow.
All thoughts disappeared as her lips touched his and she slowly began to move her lips, sucking in his own. She pulled back and lightly traced his jaw line with the tip of her finger.
"James," she said in a voice that was not hers, "James? Wake up buddy."
Sirius stood over James's sleeping body on the couch and shook him gently, well, he shook him. "James," he said. He didn't want to wake up his best friend, but he was crying in his dream and that was not good. Tears rolled down James cheek as his eyes flickered open and he looked bewildered for a second.
"Fuck," he whispered and closed his eyes again, putting his hand over his eyes and blocked the face of a concerned looking Sirius.
"You alright?" Sirius asked from the other side of the couch.
"Perfect," he said sarcastically.
Sirius drew in a deep breath and looked anxiously at his best friend, "you could use some food, you've been asleep for sixteen hours."
James sat up causing Sirius to gracefully avoid a collision between their heads. "What day is it?"
"September 13," Sirius answered slowly.
"2005 right?" he asked closing his eyes.
"Yeah," he said.
"Where's Harry?"
"With the Weasley's, he's coming back today, in an hour in fact," he told James.
"Good," he breathed, "good."
"Yeah," Sirius said for the first time being at a lose for words. He had always found words to comfort James, even when all hell was breaking loose. But this type of hell, that was so familiar to him, was something he couldn't touch. He knew the stabbing pain and the emptiness inside after his own wife died. And he knew for a fact that no words would ever fill the void. Time would heal the wounds, though it would surely take a while. They would heal slowly and painfully, now and then someone unknowingly put salt on the wounds. And they would become raw, and the pain would be so excruciating. The rode to recovery was a labyrinth for everyone who went through it. I couldn't give him hints before he went into the maze because they were useless. "C'mon, let's eat," he said tapping James on the shoulder, "and clean up a bit, you don't want your son to see you look like shit now do you?"
James tried to laugh but it was no use, it came out as a grunt that made both of them frown, "lets go," he said and stood up, being supported by Sirius's ready arm. They went into the kitchen of the house in California. Sirius had thought it best if they get out of London for the time, until James had settled and was less fragile. The kitchen was spotless and looked like the kitchen of a caring mother who would rather cook for her family rather then take the easy route and buy fast food. Opening the fridge, Sirius got out some unbaked burger patties and cooked them fast with his wand.
"Thanks," smiled James sadly as a burger floated towards him as he sat on the counter.
"Anytime," Sirius assured him taking a huge bite out of his own bun.
"So uh…yeah," James breathed slowly, "what's been going on lately?"
"Dumbledore sent an owl yesterday, said that Malfoy's under arrest," Sirius said cautiously.
"Good," was James's whisper of a response.
"And the ministry's going to overthrow Fudge."
"Good."
"Remus moved into my apartment too, thought we'd conserve for once."
"Good."
"Hey, James? I'm not wearing any pants."
"Good."
"You're scaring me!" Sirius yelled slapping James on the head to shake him out of the type of fit.
"Sorry," he said rubbing the side of his head, throwing his already messy hair into a frenzy of frizz.
"Yeah," breathed Sirius.
"Fun eh?" asked James slowly after about ten minutes of murderous silence between the two, "you and I, there's actually tension here."
"Yeah," Sirius said nervously scratching the back o his head, messing up his ponytail, "never thought I'd see the day."
"Just goes to prove that nothing is impossible," James said looking disgustedly at his sandwich, like he expected a cockroach to come crawling out any second.
"However unfortunate that may be right?" Sirius said studying James's expression thoroughly.
"Yeah," he said, and like a bad child who refused to eat his vegetables, he pushed the plate away from him and stood up, "I'm gonna take a shower."
"Alright mate," smiled Sirius and watched James walk up the stairs of the kitchen upstairs towards the bedrooms. He remembered how painful it had been for him when Piper and Rose had been killed, he couldn't go into his house for about a year. He considered how brave James had been in coming back to a house where he had lived with her for 15 years, among all those other ones he had in places people would give an eye to see! But he had returned to the place his deceased wife had called home for a decade, where they surely had spent nights crying themselves to sleep because they missed their son. He came back to the exact place where his wife had called her home, who had spent Saturday mornings cleaning and spent thousands of dollars decorating and putting food in the fridge.
James could've chose one of the mansions in England or Finland or Monte Carlo to stay in, places his wife had only spent a night and hadn't put her mark on it. But he had chosen the most mediocre place, the place where his laid-back wife and loved and had put her mark on every known inch of the house. They might've had a fight or had a hard day at work or whatever, and the one that had been upset had stood in the mantelpiece, facing the blazing fire or ashes that hadn't been on since winter, and didn't dare look at their life-partner. Then the comforter would come from behind the comfortee and put their arms around their spouse, ask what was wrong, tell them they were sorry for whatever they had done. And the one that was upset would turn around to reveal eyes either bloodshot from tears or blazing with anger and would spill their heart out. The other one would listen attentively, taking in every word, every emotion, every little detail of the confessional. They would look worn when they were finished, ready to fall. But the other one, the comforter, the listener, would put their hands on the one that needed comfort and they would put their lips on theirs after telling them that whatever had happened more then likely didn't matter, or would remind them that one day they would have Harry back, and they could lead a normal life once more with their precious son.
A knock on the door took Sirius away from his train of thought and no one except him could realize how happy he felt he had missed the train because tears were welling up in his eyes. His chest felt tight, never a good sign. He got up from his stool, taking his time to go to the door so he could run his sleeve over his damp eyes. He unlocked the front door, "Harry!" he exclaimed pasting on the quickest, most realistic smile mixed with surprise he could muster. No need to say that both attempts failed.
"Hey Sirius," Harry said weakly.
"Hey Arthur," Sirius said stepping out of the way so that Arthur Weasley, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Molly Weasley could enter.
"How's he holding up?" Molly asked taking off her overcoat.
Sirius nodded looking straight at Harry, "better then anyone, including him, expected him. He's a brave man."
Harry bit his bottom lip as he looked back at Sirius, "but is he ok?"
"He's holdin' up," Sirius said truthfully this time.
Harry rolled his eyes in knowing. His dad was going through the same thing, they had to figure out a way to face the hell together. James had been right, they couldn't exactly help each other. And however much Harry wanted to hear comforting words from James's mouth, those naïve words that were said in movies and had such profound effects. He knew they were bull shit in real life. They meant absolutely nil. Lily was really gone forever, and there was nothing anybody could do except hit the ground running again. But they were still falling so.
"Where is he?" Harry asked wanting to see those blue eyes again, the eyes he knew were dim now.
"Shower," Sirius said shortly, "c'mon, I'll make us some tea," he said and lead the small flotilla towards the kitchen where he flicked his wand and tea appeared.
Harry looked around the house, his first time there. His future home. "Can I get a tour of the house?" he asked looking at his godfather.
"Sure, c'mon," he said and excused himself from the others. "Well, as you can tell, this is the living room," said Sirius as they walked into the room. There was plasma TV, a fireplace with a huge mantel littered with pictures that mostly were of Harry as a baby, friends meaning Marauders and friends, and of course, the couple's wedding. He was then showed the garage, a special room where all magical potions, books or anything involving the secret world were placed. The dining room where formal occasions were held and then upstairs. They walked into James and Lily's bedroom to hear the splashing of water coming from the bathroom. The room hadn't been touched, James hadn't slept in his bed.
"Has dad gotten any sleep?" Harry asked rushing away from the room, it smelled of the same perfume his mom wore, had worn anyway.
"Yeah, on the couch," Sirius said leading Harry to what would be his bedroom.
"That must've been nice," Harry murmured having declared the couch pretty uncomfortable for long time sleep.
"He was out for a day," Sirius said opening the door of Harry's door.
"You're kidding," said Harry looking at his godfather, then he looked through the door at the room, "you're kidding," he repeated.
"Welcome to your new room," Sirius said walking in since Harry was rooted to the ground.
"This can't be mine," he whispered walking into the room. It was loaded with Quiddich posters, a huge bed with blue sheets, blue walls, and equipped with a stereo and TV that seemed to have a built in DVD, VHS player.
"But it is," came a familiar voice from behind them.
They both turned towards the door, somewhat startled and saw James, wearing a t-shirt and a towel around his waist leaning against the door frame with a small smile on his face. His hair was wet and around his shoulders, he still hadn't cut it.
"Dad," Harry whispered breathlessly. He hadn't prepared for the first meeting since the funeral, but this wasn't at all how he had planned it. Harry had thought he would flash his dad his winning smile, and hug him and say something productive. He hadn't planned on staring at the site of his world-weary father.
"How are you?" James asked standing straight.
"Ok," Harry said quietly, "you?"
James nodded, preferring to not answer his son. A nod was more fitting then a word, he couldn't find a freaking word.
Harry walked to his father and put his arm around him, James was more then happy to return the love, as it were. "Oh dad," he whispered into James's shoulder.
"We'll make it Harry, I promise," James whispered finding his voice again, "the world hasn't heard the last of James and Harry Potter. It won't for a long time to come. We'll go on, live our lives. We'll fight back ok?"
Harry nodded.
An: WOW! I didn't know i was going to have such a response from the last chapter! I had to because the writer in me wanted and needed the impact. And sadly it was inevitable, pardon my spelling errors. The chapter is a little rushed, though it took a while to post. I was just winging it and stuffs been happening in my life i prefer not to face. But thank you for reviewing. I hate to be a self-promoter but i seriously would recommend two of my other stories, Forever is Forever about Sirius and Thick and Thin about the Marauders.
On to the reviewers:
hpjsr: The chapter isn't cut, I did it like that. I really am sorry that i made you hate the story, lol, hope this chapter sorta makes you feel better about me.
queen-of-monkey-magic: Shock is the worst part of cancer, I should know, lol. But yeah, i was hoping for the impact of the chapter.
Liliana: I'll try and come up with something for you, k? Hehe.
Neurotica: I'm sorry! I had to! I was suffocating! Lol. The James i created is strong, he'll pull through, i have faith in him.
Chuckmuggins: Oh pshh thanks, you make me feel bad now! But like Sinatra sang, that's life!
Annie: Here you go! Lol, u asked for another chapter!
orlin: I feel bad for James too.
THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING!
