A/n: Be prepared for cynical, sarcastic, crude, rude, and … cruel.. Humor. None shall be spared..

Except maybe you.. yes, you, the one in the Pac Man t Shirt.

What do you mean that's a cheese pizza shirt? Fine then, FUCK YOU, TOO!

Cliché Wars

Episode IV: A New Fic

Harry boarded the bus to Hogwarts express and walked back to a particularly special compartment to meet his friends. His friends are Ron and Hermione for those of you who don't know that. Morons.

Anyway, Harry walks into the compartment and sits next to Ron and across from Hermione.. In that order.

"So. Soon we will begin are 7th year… wow," said Harry plot-fully.

"Yeah. It's hard to believe, isn't it?" questioned Hermione.

"Most definitely. Something tells me that things will happen this year," Said Ron with an air of Foreshadowing.

Suddenly, the compartment door burst--..no, SLID—open. Malfoy was standing there in all of his Blonde fury. He glared at Harry and prepared to give his dramatic threat.

"….See you on the quidditch field Potter." He snarled.

The three good guys were appalled by this rather un-threatening statement.

"Where's OUR threats?" asked Hermione and Ron in unison. Draco faltered.

"..You aren't worthy of my wit," he saved. Then he walked out the door with a suave whoosh of his cloak.

"As I was saying.. I bet stuff will indeed happen this year." Recapped Ron.

After a rather long and uneventful train ride, the students and probably some other items, arrived and the Amazing Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry, Hermione, and the Other Kid went into the Great Hall because that's how the plot goes.

Dumbledore stood up and began to give his speech.

"Welcome Harry, Hermione and…..Ron, to your seventh year of Hogwarts! Everybody else, you're welcome to stay, too.. We always need extras. And to Draco, don't worry. Your food is NOT poisoned!"

The authoress of this fic suddenly got distracted by a very, very, shiny object.. and decided that this was a long enough intro to the fic….

A/N: Okay. I totally wasn't planning on it being this weird.. and it's going to be.. kind of a star wars style spoof, IE, 6 chapters long, the last 3 are really the first three (mwpp time) and future chapters will definitely be longer. ..And make more sense. .and be humorous.. just stick with me okay?

Shameless Plug: I'm illustrating fics and drawing OC's now. Requests will be taken, (No slash though…).