Chapter 2 In which Naruto is Way too Overpowered (Part 1)

Naruto was just born. We all know that in most Naruto fics, the first scene begins with how the Kyuubi is sealed within Naruto. And then it fasts forward a bit to when he's about 4 or 5 years old…

All Naruto could see was the red clouding his vision. "Why! Why are you guys so mean to me," he cries as stones are thrown at him and villagers jeer at him.

"Shut up demon fox!" screamed the villagers in blind fury and/or rage. "Normally we weren't like this in the canon and didn't abuse you physically since obviously if we did, the ninjas and Hokage of Konoha would come and stop us. But since this author decided that he needs a reason to get you away from Konoha to begin your impossibly fast development as a ninja, we're to drive you out of the village!"

Naruto keeps running and running out and away from the village until he can't see it anymore. He is sporting a broke nose, broken arm, bruised and bloodied face, and he's coughing up blood about every 2 seconds.

"Why me?" Naruto whimpered, as he fell to the ground in a dreamless sleep while his pain receptors are dying from overuse.

Now, Naruto wakes up from his sleep, and the sun is high up in the sky. He is in a dense forest, and apparently very far away from any sign of civilization. He can't help but notice that all of his injuries are gone. All of a sudden, he hears this voice inside his head.

"You weakling!" said the mysterious voice (and by this time the readers are trembling with great anticipation while wondering who this certain voice is…) "How could my vessel be so weak and helpless!"

Naruto, frightening into a stupor, stuttered, "Who are you? And how are my injuries gone?"

"Why, you insolent pup, I'm the Kyuubi of course but my real name's Hissoubrekansomenguaga, the Demon Lord of the Underworld. And I healed you with my chakra, obviously. (inserts some past history that Hissoubrekansomenguaga had, which is apparently a long and experienced one, and also explains the many OC ability creations, such as a doujitsu ability similar to the Sharingan but not quite since that would be just copying and we all know how boring copying is)" (at this point, the reader is forced to gag as he/she reads this new blatant original creation that the author just decided to throw into the fic just for kicks)

"How come I can hear you? Will you be my friend?" asked Naruto, not so afraid anymore.

"Well, it all started with… (inserts a short and chopped up story about how Naruto came to have the Kyuubi) and I also happen to be the greatest demon of them all, which will explain how in the near future you will become unstoppable under my tutelage." Replied the great demon fox, while the author conveniently forgets that the Kyuubi slaughtered many Konoha ninjas and almost destroyed Konoha altogether and therefore the demon just automatically becomes a benevolent character.

And then comes the part where Naruto begins his grueling training to become the ultimate shinobi. Now keep in mind that Naruto is still 4-5 years old, and it IS kind of hard to start developing your muscles intensely until you are a bit older. However, this is Narutoverse, so since Itachi was Anbu captain at 13, Naruto can obviously be much stronger than Itachi at 5 years of age. (cough)

All of a sudden, Naruto becomes 12 years old and one day the Kyuubi speaks to him after a long hard day of training. (Notice how the author skips over almost all the methods of training since he really really wants to get to the good part where Naruto returns to Konoha to kick some ass. Meh, maybe if he's feeling nice, he'll show a scene or two of weights, water walking, or tree climbing. Sound familiar? But of course, those or the only training methods that we saw in the Naruto anime/manga so far…)

"Kit (obviously it is a given that the Kyuubi should call Naruto Kit because the author can't seem to think up an original nickname since he saw "kit" used many times by other fanfiction authors…), I believe the time has come for you to return to your village, Konoha."

"But why?" pouted Naruto. "All they done was abuse me and yell at me… why should I return to the village?" At this point the Kyuubi shows him how his father was the 4th Hokage and tells him that his father would've wanted it or something along those lines. All of a sudden, Naruto decides to return to the village.

Upon entering the village, all the girls ooohhh and ahhhhh since Naruto had become sooooo frickin hott (apparently he has also become much more taller than his canon figure in the anime), with his "spiky blonde hair" and his "cerulean eyes" along with his "perfectly toned figure" (even though he is only 12 years old but who cares, this Naruto is a gigantic chick magnet even though the Naruto in the canon was short, orange, and loud). He is wearing ninja attire that's equivalent of today's Abercrombie and Fitch brand of clothing, black ninja shirt with an Uzumaki swirl (and how does Naruto find out about the swirl? More importantly, how is it his "clan symbol" even though he doesn't have a clan yet and I'm pretty sure his dad didn't, as it didn't show in the manga) on the back, fingerless gloves, shorts, topped off with an angsty black cloak.

He immediately vanishes with a flourish of yellow (gee I wonder where that came from?) and appears in front of the Hokage building. He encounters several Anbu guards at the door.

"Hey it's that Kyuubi kid!" one Anbu-member exclaimed. "Don't let him in!"

"I'm coming in whether you like it or not."

Rather than try to come to a peaceful resolution, the author decides that it is the perfect time to show off Naruto's newfound powers. To make a long story short, he beats the Anbu-members to bloody pulps. However, they're still alive since we can't go about having the hero of the story killing Konoha ninjas, now can we? It would conflict too much with the linear plot the author has in mind!

Naruto then goes to the Hokage's office.

"Who might you be?" asked the Hokage in a curious tone. "You must be a prodigy to defeat a group an Anbu in such a short amount of time!"

"My name is…… (long suspenseful silence)……Naruto (gasp!)! I have come back to Konoha since I love this village just because of Iruka and the love that my dad had for it."

"Naruto, who raised you to become such a strong ninja," inquired the Hokage.

"The Kyuubi instructed me in the ways of the ninja, and because of that, I am now a very strong ninja! (oh really, we didn't know that yet)"

"Ok." Was all the Hokage said since what kind of a person would he be to worry about a little kid who has been isolated for years with nobody else but a demon fox who killed tons of Leaf shinobi 12 years ago as a companion. Heck, he wasn't even worried about that happening a second time because the little boy obviously had way more control of his body than a thousand-year old demon. "I guess I'll place you in a genin team even though you someone managed to beat a team of Anbu and you should actually be a jounin. It would bring you back to familiar characters in the canon if I put you on a genin team."

"Great, now I'm off to find a ramen stand since I have an insatiable hunger for ramen. This is one of the few characteristics that are still the same as the canon because what would I be without my love for ramen? Even though I was isolated in the wilderness for many years, I came up with a way to procure ramen every day somehow!"

And off goes Naruto to find the nearest ramen stand, which is Ichiraku since it is the only ramen stand that the author knows that's from the canon.

Man this is my first fic and I never knew how hard it is to write one…… and this kind of fic is really one of the easiest types of fics to write because the novel length ones are so much harder to write if you want to write well. It would be appreciated I could get some feedback and ideas from you guys so that I'll know what to change or do better.

Next Chapter… Naruto meets with his genin team which is sure to contain Hinata or Sasuke or Sakura for obvious reasons