Well, this is the sequel to my "Homestar Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace". I'd like to thank the reviewers who reviewed the story. Also, I'd like to thank Will-Write-For-Pocky for inspiring me to write the Homestar Wars stories to parody the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy movies, considering Will-Write-For-Pocky wrote parodies for Star Wars Episode IV (now deleted from and Episode V (when is Will-Write-For-Pocky going to update the story?), as well as some flash movies on the internet inspired me to write the stories. Also, if you have been confused about why some characters were assigned to parody the characters from Star Wars Episode I in my parody for The Phantom Menace, you will see here why I chose those character assignments (like Homestar as Anakin Skywalker, or Strong Bad as Obi-Wan Kenobi).

Well, that's enough of crediting and explaining. Now onto the story!


HOMESTAR WARS

Episode II

Attack of the Clones

Characters:

Corde: So and So

Lieutenant: Knight from KOT DVD (dressed up as "Idaho" for Halloween)

Guards: Blue and Red Knight (Trogdor game)

Padme: Marzipan

Captain Typho: No I in Team Guy (known as Captain I)

R2-D2: Homsar

Chancellor Palpatine: Homeschool Winner

Yoda: Pom-Pom

Mace Windu: Strong Mad

Ki-Adi-Mundi: Wheelchair

Plo Koon: Pan Pan

Dar Wan: Sherlock (Cowcopter)

Bail Organa: Prince of Town

Jar Jar Binks: Reynold

Dorme: Cheerleader

Count Dooku: Zee-Gee-Oh (my name for 20X6 Coach Z)

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Strong Bad

Anakin Skywalker: Homestar Runner

Gundaarks: Mrs. Commanderson(s)

Zam Wessel: The Ugly One

Jango Fett: Stinkoman

Kohuns: The Worm (from Sweet Cuppin Cakes) (there are two)

Death Sticks guy: Quarterback

Dexter: Bubs

Librarian: What's Her Face

Younglings: Teeny Tiny Girl Squad and Tompkins

Queen Jamilla: 20X6 Marzipan (known as Queen Yatta)

Sio Bibble: Mr. Bland

Taun We: Rather Dashing (appearance is from computer game, voice from trailer)

Lama Su: King of Peasantry

Clones: Stinkoman/Clones

Shaak: Poor Gary (the horse)

Boba Fett: 20X6 Homestar (let's call him Kidstar)

Watto: The Cheat

Shmi Skywalker: Unnamed (not really Homestar's mother in real life)

Cliegg Lars: Guy at the Depot (call him Cliegg Depot)

C-3PO: Strong Sad

Owen Lars: The Homestar Runner (1936. Call him The Owen)

Beru Lars: 1936 Marzipan (call her The Beru)

Tusken Raiders: Marshie and family

Jawa: Unguraits

Geonosians: Fhqwhgads (call Poggle the Lesser: Fhqwhgads the Lesser)

Nute Gunray: Blue Laser

Rune: Blue Laser minion

Robot: Visor Robot

Other Separatists include: The Poopsmith, Olda Boys

Qui-Gon Jinn's spirit: Coach Z's spirit

Ask Aak: Senor Cardgage

Mas Amedda: Lem Sportsinterviews

All enemy battle droids and accessories: All battle droids and accessories

Reek (the large bull-like execution monster who went after Anakin): Trogdor

Nexu (the lion-like execution monster who went after Padme): Kerrek

Acklay (the screechy execution monster who is like a lobster with scythes who went after Obi-Wan): S is for Sucks Dragon

Darth Sidious: Still Unknown (do you think I'd tell you who he is?)


"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…."


HOMESTAR WARS

Episode II

ATTACK OF THE CLOWNS

"WHAT?" shouted Homer Starrun, "Who wrote Clowns in place of Clones? Eh… eh… START OVER!"

TAKE 2

HOMESTAR WARS

Episode II

ATTACK OF THE CLONES

There is unrest in the Galactic Senate several hundred solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic.

This separatist movement, under the leadership of Zee-Gee-Oh, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the galaxy.

(At this point, Homestar began to sing the Star Wars theme song terribly and quickly.)

Senator Marzipan, the former Queen of Naboo, is returning to the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC (capitalized for some reason) to assist the overwhelmed Jedi...

Homestar, stop singing and get into your position!

"Oops! The wowds told me!" said Homestar off-screen, or off-scene.


Chapter 1 – The Attack

Outside of the city-planet, or planet-city of Coruscant, two Naboo Starfighters flew to Coruscant, followed by a Royal Cruiser, and then another Starfighter. Inside the Royal Cruiser, the Lieutenant with two Knights behind him talked to Senator Marzipan.

"Senator, we haven't made the moat yet, but there are none of our enemies outside, so the drawbridge…" began the Lieutenant.

"This is Star Wars, not Castle Wars, or anything like that," reminded the Blue Knight.

"Oh right. Senator, we're making our final approach to Coruscant," said the Lieutenant.

"Very good, Lieutenant," said Senator Marzipan.

Coruscant was unusually foggy, which was unsettling, but it was only dawn. The Starfighters landed on the landing platform (which was floating and stationary) and the Royal Cruiser landed on where there was the most amount of space. Homsar was lowered from a Starfighter as a pilot from another Starfighter got out and took off his helmet, revealing himself to be Captain I, who had an eye patch. He walked to a woman pilot whose head was shaped like a baseball bat.

"We made it!" said Captain I as Senator Marzipan and her guards were walking off the ramp of the Royal Cruiser, "I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all."

At that instant, the Royal Cruiser blew up, destroying the expensive ship, killing the six guards, and fatally injuring Senator Marzipan.

"Did I jinx things?" asked Captain I as alarms started to blare.

Then the female pilot ran to Senator Marzipan and took off her helmet, revealing herself to be the real Senator Marzipan. She took the other's mask off, revealing herself to be So and So.

"So and So…" said Marzipan.

"Oh don't worry, M'lady. I've experienced this like a million times in my life, or lives," replied So and So.

Then So and So died. Captain I walked up to Marzipan.

"M'lady, you're still in danger here," said Captain I.

"I shouldn't have come back," said Marzipan.

"The vote is very important, especially for the story. You did your duty, So and So did hers, and I didn't like her at all, well, a little bit more than her friends. Now come," ordered Captain I as he began to walk away when Marzipan just stood there, "Senator Marzipan, please!"

So Marzipan and Homsar walked away with Captain I away from the damage.


In Chancellor Homeschool's office in the Executive Quarters Building, Chancellor Homeschool was talking to Pom-Pom, Strong Mad, Wheelchair, Pan Pan and some other Jedi.

"I don't know how long I can hold off the vote, my 'friends'. More and more star systems are joining the Separatists," said Chancellor Homeschool.

"Break away?" asked Strong Mad.

"I will not let this Republic that has stood for a thousand years be split in two, at least, not in my command, so I won't be the poor sucker responsible for the fall. My negotiations will not fail!"

"NOT ENOUGH JEDI! PEACE!" shouted Strong Mad.

"All right Strong Mad, you made your point," said Wheelchair.

"Bubs?" asked Strong Mad.

"Master Pom-Pom," said Homeschool, ignoring Strong Mad and the Wheelchair, "do you really think we'll come to war? And why does Strong Mad have to play Mace Windu?"

Pom-Pom closed his eyes and bubbled, "The Dark Side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is. Nor why Mace Windu Strong Mad is."

Then a small hologram of Sherlock appeared on the Chancellor's desk. Sherlock spoke in an obscure, weird murmur which meant something like this, "The loyal committee has arrived, my lord."

"Good," Homeschool said to Sherlock. Then Homeschool talked to the Jedi again, "We'll discuss this matter later. Send them in."

Then Marzipan, Captain I, Reynold, Cheerleader, Prince of Town, and other politicians walked into the office. The Jedis began to walk away. Meanwhile, Pom-Pom talked to Marzipan.

"Marzipan, your tragedy on the landing platform, terrible. Seeing you alive brings warm feeling to my heart," Pom-Pom bubbled.

"So, which creep tried to do this to me?" asked Marzipan.

"NABOO MOONS!" shouted Strong Mad.

"I think Zee-Gee-Oh did it," said Marzipan, surprising some.

"He's a political idealist, not a murderer," said Wheelchair.

"He was once a Jedi. It's not his character," said Strong Mad, before defending his reputation with a big, "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH…"

"But the fact remains for certain, Senator, in grave danger you are," Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Master Jedi, may I suggest that the Senator be placed under the protection of your graces," said Homeschool.

"Do you think that's a wise decision during the stressful times?" asked the Prince of Town.

"Chancellor, if I may comment, I don't believe the…" began Marzipan when Homeschool interrupted, "…situation is that serious. No, but I do, Senator."

"Chancellor, please! I don't want any more guards. The guards always destroy my precious flowers and plants, which took years to grow!" protested Marzipan.

"Okay, then how about someone you're familiar with, like, an old friend… like…" began Homeschool.

"GET ON WITH IT!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Okay. Like Master Strong Bad," said Homeschool.

"HE'S HOME!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Still, no thanks. I don't like him that much, actually, I really don't like him at all," said Marzipan.

"Do it for me, M'lady, please. The thought of losing you is unbearable," said Homeschool.

"STRONG BAD'S COMING! YAY!" shouted Strong Mad.


In the elevator of an apartment building, Strong Bad and his apprentice, Homestar Runner, were waiting for the elevator the reach the floor where Marzipan was staying. Homestar was moving around a lot in nervousness. In fact, he even walked up the elevator walls and ceiling before Strong Bad used the Force to bring him back to the floor.

"What the crap is wrong with you?" asked Strong Bad.

"I dunno," replied Homestar.

"You're not usually this tense, except that time when we fell into the nest of the Mrs. Commandersons," said Strong Bad.

"You fell into youw nightmawe! And I saved the day, and you!" replied Homestar.

"I don't have nightmares, just weird dreams. But since you saved me, one point for you!" said Strong Bad.

"Yay!" cheered Homestar, having no clue what that meant, for Strong Bad does that to shut Homestar up.

However, it was Strong Bad who started the next conversation, "You're sweating. Relax, before you break through the glass windows and fall down."

"We can do that?" asked Homestar.

"Yeah, but don't do that. So let me guess, you like Marzipan?" asked Strong Bad.

"Yup!" replied Homestar.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Jedis can't love, unfortunately?"

"But it has been ten yeaws, Stwong Bad!" said Homestar.

"You're supposed to call me Master!" shouted Strong Bad.

Soon, the elevator reached their destination as Reynold in a Representative gown arrived to greet the Jedis. Reynold became excited to see Strong Bad again.

"Oh Strong Bad! It's nice to see you again!" said Reynold.

"Get away kid!" shouted Strong Bad as he kicked Reynold into a wall, "Oh wait, it was just Reynold in a dress, how creepy."

Soon, Reynold took Strong Bad and Homestar to a room with couches, Marzipan, and Captain I.

"Senator Marzipan, here are the two Siths, I mean Jedis," said Reynold a little dizzily from being kicked.

So Marzipan and Captain I went to the two Jedis and greeted them.

"Nice to see you again, flower lady," said Strong Bad.

"For some reason, it's still nice to see you again, Strong Bad, or should I say, 'master' Strong Bad," said Marzipan before looking at Homestar, "Homestar? My goodness, you've… actually, to tell the truth, you haven't grown at all."

"Thanks! And you've gwown less-queeny, fow a Senatow, and mowe, Senatowy," said Homestar, embarrassing himself and making Strong Bad give him a disapproving look.

"Oh Homestar, you'll always be that guy from Tatooine," said Marzipan.

"That's because I am," replied Homestar before they all sat down on the couches.

"We will be invisable to you, Marzipan, happy?" asked Strong Bad.

"I'm very grateful you're here, Master Strong Bad. I'm Captain I, head of Her Majesty's security service," said Captain I.

"Oh, how nice of a name, since you only have one eye," remarked Strong Bad.

"Please don't make fun of my eye. Queen Yatta has informed you of your assignment. This situation's more dangerous than the Senator will admit," said Captain I.

"I don't need security. I want answers! I want to know who wants to kill me!" said Marzipan.

"We're here to protect, not to investigate," said Strong Bad.

"Then it's pwivate eye Homestaw to the wescue!" said Homestar.

"Oh puh-leez, you can't even find your picture in the cover of Podracing Weekly when you won that Podrace! You were right on the cover!"

"Yeah, I nevew did."

"Perhaps with merely your presence, the mysteries surrounding this threat will be revealed. Now if you excuse me, I will retire," said Marzipan.

Then all stood up as Marzipan left with Cheerleader who just appeared. Meanwhile, Reynold talked with Homestar.

"I'm so glad that I get to see you again after ten years, or so they think," said Reynold.

"Oh Weynold, I don't think Mawzipan likes me that much anymowe. I oughta play that She Loves Me game again! The wesult was unfaiw," said Homestar as Strong Bad came.

"She's happy to see you again in a long time," said Reynold.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go away from the negative thoughts and look at their crappy security," said Strong Bad.

"Okay, Stwong Bad!" said Homestar.

"Master Strong Bad!" corrected Strong Bad for the 998,340,238,412,038th time during the course of training Homestar.