Chapter 2 – The Second Attack and the Chase
On a skyscraper ledge at night, Stinkoman in Jango Fett's armor met The Ugly One.
"I hit the ship, but they used a decoy," reported The Ugly One.
"MAN! We need to use something more SUBTLE this time, Ugly One! MY client's getting impatient! Here, use these!" said Stinkoman as he gave The Ugly One a canister of two The Worms, "They're very poisonous! NO more mistakes!"
So The Ugly One put on a veil, covering her face and making her look even more hideous.
In the main room of the apartment building Marzipan's staying in, Strong Bad and Homestar were discussing the security.
"So Captain I has soldiers down there, and we're up here, so Marzipan will probably be attacked," said Strong Bad.
"I think so too, Stwong Bad," replied Homestar.
"MASTER STRONG BAD! Anyway, any activity up here?" asked Strong Bad.
"Well, I ate some Fluffy Puff Mawshmallows, then had some melonade, then had some…" began Homestar.
"Ugh, never mind. I don't need to know what you ate," said Strong Bad.
"And dwank," added Homestar.
Strong Bad took out a palm/boxing gloved-size view scanner of Marzipan's room, but it didn't show anything.
"What the crap's going on?" asked Strong Bad.
"Oh, Mawzipan pwobably covewed them, because she didn't want us to see her new flowews," said Homestar.
"What is she thinking? Not that she's bright," said Strong Bad.
"Well, that little blue midget has this secuwity system I don't know of on."
Inside Marzipan's room, Marzipan was asleep in her bed. Homsar was asleep as well. Strong Bad's and Homestar's voices could be heard from inside.
"It's not the intruder I'm concerned about. There are many other ways to kill a Senator, and I can think up some ways, and do them, and I would," said voiceover Strong Bad.
"So we can catch this assassin," said voiceover Homestar.
Back in the main room…
"So you're using her as bait? How nice," remarked Strong Bad.
"It's hew idea! Not mine!" said Homestar.
"You're right. Your plan would include some electric tape, wire cutters, and melonade," agreed Strong Bad.
"Yup! That's wight! I can sense evewything going on in that woom, so she won't be not safe," assured Homestar.
"It's too risky. Besides, your senses suck, compared to mine, or at least to that one shrimp back in the temple," argued Strong Bad.
On the skyscraper ledge, The Ugly One inserted the canister of The Worms into a Probe Droid, who flew away while dodging Coruscant night traffic.
Back in the main room again…
"You look tired," remarked Strong Bad.
"Oh, I don't sleep well anymowe, mainly because I lost my cinnamon," said Homestar.
"And because of dreams of your mother?" asked Strong Bad.
"That too," replied Homestar.
"No wonder you suck. STOP DREAMING ABOUT HER!" shouted Strong Bad.
"Well, I want to dweam about Mawzipan!" argued Homestar.
"I already told you, Jedis can't love! Besides, you can't trust her! I can't," said Strong Bad.
Meanwhile, the probe droid arrived outside the window of Marzipan's room. Using its technologies, it opened a hole in the window and made the two The Worms crawl into the room undetected. As Homestar and Strong Bad continued having a conversation now about politics and politicians (Homeschool included in the conversation), the two The Worms crawled to Marzipan's bed. Once, Homsar woke up.
"DaAaAaaa! I can see in the dark!" shouted Homsar before sleeping again.
Soon, the two The Worms got into killing positions on Marzipan.
Back in the main room for the last time…
"I think Homeschool's a good man, even though he's newdy…" began Homestar when he sensed something.
"I sense it too!" said Strong Bad as they ran into Marzipan's room.
Just when the two The Worms were about to bite Marzipan, Homestar arrived, ignited his blue-bladed lightsaber, and sliced the two The Worms in half (poor The Worms). This made Marzipan wake up in surprise and anger.
"You're here to destroy my plants!" shouted Marzipan.
Then Strong Bad saw the probe droid outside, which was beginning to fly away. So Strong Bad ran to the window and jumped into it… and received pain.
"That's bulletproof and blaster-proof glass," said Marzipan.
"But not The Worm proof?" asked Strong Bad.
"The window's open to your right," said Marzipan.
"No thanks, I want to damage stuff," said Strong Bad as he jumped through the plate glass next to the bulletproof glass, breaking it while Strong Bad hung onto the probe droid.
"HEY! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!" shouted Marzipan.
"I'll be wight back!" said Homestar as he ran away. Then Cheerleader, Captain I, and two guards rushed in.
"You okay? That's good," said Cheerleader without waiting for a reply.
Strong Bad was hanging onto the probe droid for dear life. If he let go, he would fall down a great height, and that was if he didn't get hit by a vehicle. The probe droid tried to make Strong Bad let go by bumping against a wall of a building. Strong Bad managed to hold on.
Meanwhile, Homestar went to a parking lot of the apartment building, went into a speeder, and flew away with it. Meanwhile, the owner (Larry from Limozeen) tried to chase after him.
"Hey! THAT'S MINE!" shouted Larry.
The probe droid with Strong Bad was now flying through traffic. Strong Bad nearly flew into two speeders, one that had two The Sneaks in it. He made enemies in less than a minute. Soon, it flew towards the skyscraper ledge where The Ugly One was, who was reading So You're The Ugly One, Eh?. The Ugly One saw something and looked through electrobinoculars and saw Strong Bad. So she got out a sniper rifle and destroyed the probe droid, making Strong Bad fall to his doom. Next, The Ugly One went into her speeder and flew away.
Homestar was flying towards where that happened, so he dove down to try and retrieve Strong Bad. After falling fifty stories, Strong Bad landed on the back end of Homestar's (or Larry's) speeder. Then he hauled himself into the passenger seat.
"What the crap took you so long?" asked Strong Bad.
"Oh you know, Stwong Bad…" began Homestar.
"MASTER!" shouted Strong Bad.
"Oh you know, Stwong Bad, I had to get a speedew I liked, with open cockpits, wight speed capabilities, bwead, I don't know what I'm talking about," explained Homestar.
"Chase after that speeder!" ordered Strong Bad as he pointed to The Ugly One's speeder, so Homestar gave pursuit as he continued talking about speeders and bread, "And if you spend as much time on your lightsaber skills as you do on piloting, you would rival Master Pom-Pom as a swordsman."
"But I alweady did!" replied Homestar.
"Only in the mind, bozo," muttered Strong Bad.
Then The Ugly One's speeder dove down the air with Homestar following, making them fly in a ninety degree angle. Strong Bad was not enjoying this, but Homestar was.
"HOMESTAR! GET US IN A 180 DEGREE ANGLE NOW!" shouted Strong Bad.
The Ugly One's speeder kept on going down, but then a bus blocked Homestar's and Strong Bad's way, and at the last minute, Homestar drove out of the way instead of crashing.
"What the crap were you doing back there?" asked Strong Bad.
"Oh! I fowgot, you don't like flying," said Homestar.
"That's not flying, that's SUICIDE!"
"What's that?" asked Homestar.
Soon, they chased The Ugly One to a power refinery. The Ugly One went in a zigzag pattern at every tower with fire on it. Homestar tried to do the same thing.
"Go in a straight line! That's that idiot's direction! So don't get us burned!" said Strong Bad.
Soon, The Ugly One flew towards power couplings. The Ugly One used her rifle on a power coupling to electrocute it. When The Ugly One passed it, both power couplings made an electrical wall. Homestar was going to go through it.
"Don't go through the power couplings!" shouted Strong Bad, but Homestar passed through the power couplings, electrocuting both Strong Bad and Homestar, "Well, that was good," said Strong Bad sarcastically.
"Gee, youw welcome!" replied Homestar.
Then The Ugly One sped into a tunnel in a building. Homestar drove away from it.
"What are you doing? He went into the tunnel!" shouted Strong Bad.
"Stwong Bad…" began Homestar.
"Master," said Strong Bad.
"Stwong Bad, if we keep this chase going, I think that person's going to kill himself. I want to know who he is and who he's wowking fow," explained Homestar.
"Ooh, wise excuse," remarked Strong Bad.
"Thanks Stwong Bad, I think I'm going in a showtcut," said Homestar.
The Ugly One saw she wasn't being chased anymore, so she took off her veil and flew away from the tunnel. Meanwhile, Homestar and Strong Bad stopped in midair.
"Great job, stupid, now you've lost her. She went completely the other way!" chastised Strong Bad.
"Okay, bye!" said Homestar as he jumped off the speeder as Strong Bad looked down.
"I hate it when he tries to commit suicide when I chastise him," muttered Strong Bad.
Soon, Homestar landed on The Ugly One's speeder by miracle. As Homestar tried to hang on, The Ugly One kept swerving, making it difficult to hang onto the slippery surface of the speeder. Then, Homestar got to the roof of the speeder and used his lightsaber and broke through it, trying to attack The Ugly One. However, The Ugly One used her blaster and fired at Homestar, making him let go of the lightsaber Strong Bad caught in the speeder he was driving.
So, Homestar tried to grab the blaster out of The Ugly One's hand. As they continued this, one of them (probably Homestar) accidentally fired at the speeder's systems. Soon, the speeder went out of control. So, the speeder landed on an entertainment street and crashed into some trash cans, making Homestar fly off.
Then The Ugly One got out of her speeder and ran away with Homestar chasing after her. Then they both ran through a crowd. Then The Ugly One ran into a nightclub.
Strong Bad landed the speeder in a street close to the nightclub and ran off. In front of the nightclub, Strong Bad and Homestar bumped into each other, literally.
"That ugly giwl wan into the club!" shouted Homestar.
"Okay, calm down, and use the freakin' Force!" ordered Strong Bad.
"Okay."
"And he went in there to hide, not to run."
"Okay!"
Then Strong Bad gave back Homestar's lightsaber to its owner.
"And try not to lose this for the twentieth time. This weapon is your life, or something like that," explained Strong Bad as they went into the nightclub, where Strong Bad said, "Why do I have the feeling you're going to kill me?"
"Maybe because you know what happens in Episode 4?" asked Homestar.
"I don't know. Can you see him?" asked Strong Bad.
"I think he's a she," said Homestar.
"Well, I think he's a he," argued Strong Bad.
'Well, I think she's a he, I mean a she."
"Let's just say it's neither," said Strong Bad.
"Or both," added Homestar.
"Ew! Gross! Anyway, go find it!" said Strong Bad as he began to walk away.
"Whewe do you think you'we going?" asked Homestar.
"Is that anyway to talk to your master? I'm just going for a drink, for like a Cold One, or maybe a Pina Colata."
"Ow getting stuck in the wain," added Homestar.
As Strong Bad went to get a drink and Homestar look for the criminal, The Ugly One was getting her blaster ready. While Strong Bad was having a Cold One, Quarterback offered Strong Bad some death sticks.
"Wanna buy some death sticks?" asked Quarterback.
So Strong Bad raised his hand to use the Force and said, "You don't want to sell me any death sticks, seriously."
"I don't want to sell you any death sticks, seriously," replied Quarterback.
Then Strong Bad used the Force again, "You should go away and jump off a building."
"I should go away and jump off a building," replied Quarterback as he walked away.
Meanwhile, The Ugly One was pointing her blaster at Strong Bad's back, eager to shoot. Just when she was about to shoot, Strong Bad quickly used his blue-bladed lightsaber to slice The Ugly One's blaster arm off.
"Ow! My arm!" cried out The Ugly One as everyone looked at the event and Homestar arrived.
"Go back to youw dwinks," ordered Homestar.
"Yeah. Homestar, drag this ugly bounty hunter outside in the alley," ordered Strong Bad as he walked away.
In the alley, Homestar dragged The Ugly One (literally) and the two Jedis began to interrogate The Ugly One.
"Who the crap were you trying to kill?" asked Strong Bad.
"A Senator from Naboo," replied The Ugly One.
"Who hired you?" asked Strong Bad.
"It's just a stupid job," replied The Ugly One.
"Come on! Tell us! We'll keep it a secwet!" said Homestar.
"All right, I was hired by a bounty hunter named…" began The Ugly One when something small and quick flew from above and into The Ugly One's throat.
Then The Ugly One transformed into a more hideous creature. Meanwhile, Homestar and Strong Bad looked up to see the armored Stinkoman fly away on his jet pack.
"Tujolpnbo," said the creature before dying.
Then Strong Bad picked up the object that killed The Ugly One.
"Toxic dart, this makes our job harder," said Strong Bad.
"What job?" asked Homestar.
