A/N - Thankyou for taking the time to read my story. This is my first attempt at a Harry Potter fanfic. I'll be approaching some very dark subjects so I'd like to take this time to issue the following trigger warnings. Abuse, suicidal actions and self injury will feature in this chapter and I ask anyone affected by this to please make sure you're safe before you continue reading. I understand how quickly a flashback or an urge to harm can force itself upon you. Please take the proper precautions. I also want to thank my brilliant beta, Kiaso huggles Thank you for making sure I spelled everything correctly and that I kept everything smooth!

Disclaimer: As much as I would love them to be, the characters from this set of books do not belong to me. They belong to the wonderful J.K Rowling.

Chapter One - Survival

The-boy-who-lived, a hero, the wizarding world's salvation. Harry sighed; what would they think if they could see him now? They would see him for the weak, undeserving little worm he was, Harry thought.

He tried to remember a time when he hadn't thought like this. There was only one time, that first year at Hogwarts. He had truly belived for one glorious year that he belonged. He'd finally found a world that had a place for him. He had been wrong.

He deserved to be here, at the Dursleys'. He deserved to be tormented, beaten, locked in his cupboard. He didn't object when Uncle Vernon had decided that Harry didn't deserve the bedroom he had been given at the beginning of his first year at Hogwarts. Why should he? All he caused was grief, death, pain. It was all because of him.

'Because of me' thought Harry 'because of me, Cedric is dead. Ginny almost died, Lord Voldemort is back. I caused that. If I had died, this wouldn't have happened. If I had died.. the Dursleys would be free to live a normal life. I deserve their bullying, the beatings from Uncle Vernon. I deserve to be locked in this cupboard.'

Truthfully, Vernon had forgotten to lock the cupboard that night but Harry hadn't noticed. He was busy trying to find a way to lie that didn't make his broken ribs hurt anymore than they already did. He found that no matter how careful he was, no matter how he lied, the pain would not subside. After an hour of trying; Harry noticed the door was open a crack. He wasn't locked in! After a few deep breaths, well, as deep as he could manage without screaming out in pain; Harry pulled himself up to a standing position. He hung on to the doorframe for a few minutes before making his way to the kitchen. He couldn't make it all the way, though, and collapsed on the floor, only just managing to supress a scream of pure agony.

"Padfoot, stop pacing!"

Sirius looked down to Remus, who was currently watching his friend wear holes in the carpet. He shook his head then moved to a chair.

"Forgive me Moony, I'm just worried, Harry hasn't tried to contact me for five days now. It's unusual for him, he normally contacts me at least once a day."

Remus watched his friend silently, leaning forward and placing a hand on Sirius' shoulder. He was worried about the boy too. Ever since that day in the Department of Mysteries, Harry had indeed contacted his godfather at least once a day. There had been no news now for five. Tonks had been sent to get Dumbledore to see what they should do.

Sirius of course had suggested that they immediately go and fetch the boy and bring him back to headquarters. Remus had managed to stop him, for now. Although his name had been cleared, Sirius was far from safe. Many in the wizarding world belived him guilty of the crime that had earned him twelve years in Azkaban. Many would not hesitate to attack, convinced the poor man was a Death Eater.

Both men looked towards the fire as Tonks scrambled to her feet.

"Dumbledore says to fetch Harry and bring him here."

That was all Sirius needed to hear. His wand was out of his robes in a second, Remus following suit. They both nodded to Tonks, indicating that she should join them and vanished with a pop.

Harry had managed to get to his feet. Through sheer determination he managed to cross to the other side of the kitchen and reach up into the cabinet that held his aunts first aid kit. But that wasn't what he was looking for. His hand groped the shelf in desperation. Finally his fingers wrapped around the bottle he wanted and he pulled it down to get a closer look. After quickly reading the lable and reaching for the open bottle of wine in front of him, Harry undid the bottle of painkillers. He didn't bother to count them, just poured as many as he could into his mouth, it must have been about twenty, then took a large mouthful of wine. The pills slid effortlessly down his throat and he smiled.

'I won't be a burden to anyone anymore. I'll be gone and they'll all be free'

As Harry fell to the floor from pain and exhaustion, the wine bottle and pill bottle falling from his hands, he was faintly aware of a popping noise behind him.

Sirius arrived seconds before Lupin. He watched with a cry as his godson fell to the ground, the wine and pills not going unnoticed. He was at his side in an instant, the muggle first aid course he'd thankfully had the sense to take finally coming in handy. He rolled Harry onto his side as he heard the others arrive seconds later.

"Quickly! I don't know how many he's taken! Merlin... what have they done to you Harry?"

Sirius was sobbing openly, not caring what his friend and cousin thought. He was only thankful they had the sense to act first and ask questions later. Remus quickly muttered a spell and directed it at Harry. It took effect instantly and Harry started bringing up the pills and wine. Tonks muttered cleaning spells to keep from further troubles from the muggles that lay upstairs.

Unfortunately, Sirius' desperate shouting hadn't gone unheard and Vernon Dursley came thundering down the stairs.

"What are you doing down there boy? It's the belt this time! Waking me up at thi-"

Vernon stopped as he looked into the kitchen, straight at the three wands pointing directly at him.

"I don't think you realise what you've done, Dursley"

The voice was calm, well spoken, and the most frightening thing Vernon had ever heard. Sirius was moving towards him, ever so slowly. His piercing blue eyes looking straight in to Vernon's.

"I won't even bother asking if you know what you've done. The fear in your eyes tells me that you do."

Remus quickly placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, his wand still pointed on Vernon. He turned his head to look at Tonks.

"Harry's things will be locked in his trunk and under the floorboards, beneath his bed in his bedroom, the smallest room. Get them and bring them down here. Dursley, I advise you to move from the stairs and let Tonks do as she's asked."

His voice was just as calm as Sirius' had been, and just as frightening. Vernon did as he was advised and moved down the stairs. Remus nodded and turned to Sirius, who was fighting the urge to kill Vernon with his bare hands.

"Sirius, you will be no help to Harry if you let yourself go back to Azkaban. Tend to him, a sleep spell and bandages for his wounds. That will have to do until we can summon Madam Pomfrey. Go, now, before he suffers any more tonight."

At Lupins words, Siruis nodded and made his way back to Harry, quickly doing as Lupin had instructed. Tonks came back down the stairs with Harry's trunk floating in front of her.

"I got everything. I've sent Hedwig ahead of us, her cage and Harry's broom are in the trunk. I shrunk them and everything from the floorboards is in there too. I did a search spell, I haven't forgotten anything."

Sirius had never seen Tonks work so efficiently before, but he wasn't going to complain. Remus turned back to Vernon.

"You haven't heard the last of us, Dursley. You will pay for the abuse you've inflicted on this boy. And you will pay dearly. I bid you farewell for now."

With that, Sirius who kept hold of Harry, Remus, and Tonks apperated. Harry carried by Sirius' spell, vanished with them.

For the first time in his life; Vernon prayed.

Harry opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that there was no pain. Then he noticed that there was something, warm, furry and drooling next to him. Sirius! He tried to sit up, and the black dog beside him quickly became a man again. Sirius gently pushed Harry back down with a soft smile.

"Rest, Harry... you've had a hard day and you're not completely healed yet."

Harry nodded and closed his eyes again, soon fast asleep.

Sirius looked to Dumbledore who had arrived a few minutes after they had got back with Harry. The flash of anger in the worried godfathers eyes didn't phase Dumbledore who calmly took a seat, though it was clear to everyone in the room that the old man was worried.

"I never knew" he stated softly "Harry never said a thing. True, he always looked a little underfed and he has always been small for his age. But I never suspected this. I only hope that Harry can forgive an old man for his mistakes. Now, Sirius, I know you are very angry. You have every right to be, he is, after all, your godson. Please, sit, and let me explain."

Dumbledore's normally twinkling blue eyes were sad, peering over his half moon glasses at Sirius who was sat on the edge of the sofa, where Harry slept. Sirius, just nodded, keeping silent and allowing the old man to continue.

"I placed Harry in the Dursley's care the night Lilly and James were killed, as you know Sirius, it was your motorbike that helped Hagrid bring him to me. I know you would have gladly taken him, even then. I would have been happy for you to take him and bring him up. Now, I know he would have been happier. There were two reasons I took Harry there. The first and most important, was that they were his only living family"

At this Sirius jumped up, Dumbledore silenced him with a wave of his hand.

"I am aware that you are family Sirius, but I needed blood relatives. Lily died for him, her love has protected him all of these years. In a manner of speaking..."

He let his eyes drift over to the sleeping boy then continued.

"To complete this protection Harry needed to be with a blood relative of Lily's. That's why he has been their all these years. The second reason.. If Harry had grown up in the wizarding world, it would have been hard for him to have a normal life. Everyone knows his name, he would have been stared at, treated differently. I am aware that this is still the case, but I belive he is a better person for not living with that from a young age. Of course, had I known this was happening at the Dursleys, I would have removed him in an instant."

Sirius nodded and reluctantly agreed with Dumbledore.

"I agree.. but, you can't honestly be thinking of sending him back there?"

Dumbledore shook his head and waved his hand again.

"Of course not Sirius, not now I know what's been happening. I was rather hoping that you would offer him a home. The Ministery has given quite a bit of money if I'm not mistaken, and I know of a nice country house that might be to yours and Harry's taste."

His blue eyes started to twinkle again as he looked to Sirius; who was looking shocked, but pleased at the same time.

"Of course I'll offer him a home! I offered within the first hour of meeting him!"

Dumbledore nodded then stood. "Now, if you'll please excuse me, I really must get back to Hogwarts. Madam Pomfrey will be along shortly to tend to Harry"

He stepped into the fire and threw in some Floo powder, vanishing with a flash. Sirius immediatly looked to Harry, who had woken up again.

"Just rest Harry, you're safe. No one's going to take you back to the Dursleys."

Harry nodded but didn't go back to sleep, instead he looked back to Sirius "Where am I?"

"You're safe Harry" Sirius reached out and brushed some of Harry's hair back from his face. "You're at Remus' house, Dumbledore said you could stay with me, permanently"

Harry smiled, or rather, grimaced as he tried to sit up.

Sirius looked to him worriedly.

"That is alright isn't it Harry?"

Harry nodded.

"It's brilliant Sirius... I.. I just need some painkillers."

At that, Remus who had remained quiet until now jumped up and started muttering pain relieving spells, and, to Sirius' dismay, yet another sleep spell. He silenced Sirius with a look and pointed to the fire, where Moody's head had appeared with an urgent look.

"Lupin, Sirius." The floating head said quietly.

"We need to talk, there's been an attack. The Grangers.. Hermionie is in St Mungos."