Response to reviewers: Thanks for reviewing! And for H-Dog's review, I never thought that Homestar's reply to Strong Bad's "...this makes our job harder" would be that hilarious. Even I don't know the power of my comedy. Anyway, onto the chapter!

(This chapter does not have that scene in the ship where Anakin and Padme talk about whether Jedis can love, for that has been mentioned already by Strong Bad and Homestar, and that scene is a little cheesy to me.)


Chapter 3 – Investigation and Protection

The next day, Strong Bad and Homestar were in front of the Jedi Council in the Jedi Temple.

"Track down this bounty hunter, you must, Strong Bad," Pom-Pom bubbled.

"HIS BOSSY BOSS!" added Strong Mad.

"What about Senator Baseball bat, I mean Marzipan? She still needs protection," asked Strong Bad.

"Handle that, your Padawan will," Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Who, me?" asked Homestar.

"GO TO NABOO! TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTINA!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Uh, I don't think she want to go back to Naboo," said Homestar.

"Until caught this killer is, our judgment she must respect, or else," Pom-Pom bubbled.

"KICK CHANCELLOR HOMESCHOOL!" shouted Strong Mad.

"I think he means ask him, not kick him to the moooooon!" added Wheelchair.

"Aw!" groaned Strong Mad in response.

So Strong Bad and Homestar exited the council chamber.


In Homeschool's office, Homestar just asked the Chancellor to make Marzipan go to Naboo.

"I'll talk to her. Senator Marzipan will not refuse an executive order, but she has done it once, and blew up a building or two. But she'll come to Naboo," said Homeschool.

"Okay, Homeschool," replied Homestar, not saying "Youw Excellency."

Homeschool didn't mind that, "So the idiots finally gave you an assignment. Good job, your patience paid off."

"I think it was mowe like, um, youw guidance, whatevew that means," replied Homestar.

"You don't need guidance. When you trust your feelings, you will be invincible. I think you are the most gifted Jedi, more than Master Pom-Pom, and it's not to please you, maybe," explained Homeschool.


In a hallway of the Jedi Temple, Strong Bad was having a discussion with Strong Mad and Pom-Pom.

"I don't think Homestar can do this assignment, for he can probably blow the Senator up, which I might maybe like," said Strong Bad.

"The Council is confident in this decision, Strong Bad," Pom-Pom bubbled.

"COOL SKILLS!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Yeah, but he has a lot to learn, for he's arrogant, or something like that, or dumb," said Strong Bad.

"Well, it's a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves they are. Even the older, more experienced ones," Pom-Pom bubbled.

"I THINK CHOSEN ONE! YES, CHOSEN ONE!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Did he take his sleeping pills yet?" asked Strong Bad.

"No effect there is," bubbled Pom-Pom in response.


In the apartment building where Marzipan was staying, while Cheerleader was packing Marzipan's luggage lousily, Marzipan was talking to Reynold.

"I'll be gone for a very long time, so you'll have to replace me, Representative Reynold," said Marzipan.

"I'm honored to accept this heavy burden, and with some…" began Reynold.

"Okay, that's enough, I have to go now," interrupted Marzipan.

"Okay, M'lady," replied Reynold as he left as Marzipan went to Homestar.

"I don't like the idea of hiding," said Marzipan, angrily.

"Well, I think Stwong Bad will find this bounty huntew quickly," replied Homestar.

"Well, I haven't worked for a year to defeat the Military Creation Act not to be here when the fate is decided, but you probably don't know what that meant," said Marzipan.

"Nope, not at all, but I think I have to say something smawt, like letting go of ouw pwide and do what's wequested of us," explained Homestar.

"Whoa, Strong Bad would have won a Grumblecake with that if he said that, whatever a Grumblecake is. And you've grown, actually, you still didn't," replied Marzipan.

"Well, Stwong Bad doesn't see that, and those Gwumblecakes tasted tewwible, but not as bad as Cheatcakes," said Homestar as he went to the window and lifted a little gray ball with the Force.

"Don't get me wong, Stwong Bad's a gweat mentow. Wise as Mastew Pom-Pom, stwong as Mastew Stwong Mad, and I think I like being his appwentice. I think I'm bettew than him, but Stwong Bad doesn't want to admit that. He thinks I'm dumb and clumsy, but I think that's twue, but I'm weady fow the twials! I think he's a little jerky, cwitical, and he never listens," explained Homestar.

"Sorry, I was too busy packing up some personal stuff and didn't have time to listen to your speech with speech impediments. What did you say?" asked Marzipan.

Suddenly, the ball Homestar was Force lifting accidentally flew through the window and into the window of another speeder, making it crash into a bus and causing a huge speeder accident.

"I didn't do that," said Homestar quickly.


A transport bus with Homestar, Marzipan, Homsar, Strong Bad, Captain I, and Cheerleader arrived at the spaceport freighter docks.

"Be safe, M'lady," said Captain I.

"Okay, and take care of Cheerleader, don't get her GRAPSED, and don't get her an elephant mask, don't get her CEREBELLUM'D, SAILING MISHAP'D, THREE NOSES, SQUISHED, eaten by some big monster, REJECTED, PLASTERED, THE CHEAT'D, or eaten by a shark," ordered Marzipan.

"I can take care of myself! But I'm concerned about you, Marzipan, what if they know you left the Capital?" asked Cheerleader.

"Then Homestar will take care of the enemies."

"Hey Homestar, don't do anything before talking to the Council," said Strong Bad.

"Okay Stwong Bad. Can I tell the Council to let me walk now?" asked Homestar.

"No, don't do anything important, like flying to Tatooine, or anything foolish or out of assignment without asking the Council."

"Oh! Okay," replied Homestar.

"And Senator, I'll get to the bottom of this plot, so you'll be back here in some time, and I will be the one with all the credit," said Strong Bad.

"Okay, thanks for that," replied Marzipan as she, Homestar, and Homsar exited the bus and walked to their spaceship.

"Suddenly, I'm afraid, I didn't tell Reynold to water my plants!" exclaimed Marzipan.

"Uh, at least we have this little guy," said Homestar.

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Marzipan.

"I dunno, to cheew you up," replied Homestar as they went into the spaceship.

Inside that bus…

"I hope Homestar doesn't do anything foolish, but he will," hoped Strong Bad.

"I'd be more concerned about her doing something, than him," said Captain I.

Then the spaceship with Marzipan, Homestar, and Homsar flew away from the planet.


Meanwhile, Strong Bad went to downtown Coruscant and went to Bubs' Diner.

"Hey Bubs, there's someone to see you, and I think he's a Jedi," said a skating waitress droid before skating into a wall.

"Dumb droid!" said Bubs before looking at Strong Bad, "Oh! Hey Strong Bad! Have a seat!"

So Strong Bad and Bubs sat in a booth.

"You want a Cold One?" asked another skating waitress droid.

"Yes, do that," replied Strong Bad before the droid skated into the wall.

"Dumb droid, again! So, what can I do for you?" asked Bubs.

"What the crap is this?" asked Strong Bad before placing the toxic dart in front of Bubs.

"Oh wow! This is one of those Kamino saberdarts, which belongs to those dang cloners who never gave me any gifts!" exclaimed Bubs.

"A Kamino saberdart, eh Bubs? How come to analysis archive didn't know what this is?"

"Because they are stupid, compared to my droids," said Bubs as he pointed to the kitchen, where there were four droids.

"Thanks Bubs!" replied the droids before shutting down.

"Oops, must have run out of batteries," said Bubs.

"Okay, so where is this Kamino?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh it's in the Outer Rim, past the Rishi Maze and Bubs' Space Concession Stand," replied Bubs.

"Who runs that concession stand?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh some guy named Bubs," replied Bubs.

"So as you said, they're cloners. Are they friendly or hostile?" asked Strong Bad.

"It depends on how much money you have."

"No, seriously, are they going to rip my head off or not?" asked Strong Bad.

"It depends on how much money you have."


In the archive library, Strong Bad was sitting on a stool, using the Jedi Temple's Lappy 486. First, he checked his email and read it with difficulty:

Dar StrongBad,

How do you types with boxing glove on?

Sincerelys,

Fred

"Oh, good ones, Fred," typed Strong Bad, "Likes I don't got a lot of these emails every days! And my plurals and singles is just as good as yous. And yes, I was mocking your terrible grammar and spelling. Dar, how pathetic, not even knowing how to spell dear. As for your question, I'll just hold Alt and press D to DELETE YOUR EMAIL!" typed Strong Bad as he did so, deleting the email.

"Now let's go to planet search," said Strong Bad as he typed in the command to go to "Planetsearch Version 2". Then he typed find Kamino. The Lappy replied with "What is Kamino?"

"Oh, STUPID LIBRARY! IT CAN NEVER FIND ANYTHING!" shouted Strong Bad.

"How can I help you, sir?" asked What's Her Face.

"Yes, how come this stupid computer can't find Kamino?" asked Strong Bad.

"Maybe because it doesn't exist. BYE!" said What's Her Face as she walked away.

"Stupid library. I wish misfortune on her," muttered Strong Bad.

Suddenly, a dinosaur appeared and kicked What's Her Face into a wall. PUNT 2'D!


So Strong Bad decided to go to Pom-Pom for advice. Right now, Pom-Pom was training the younglings/Teeny Tiny Girl Squad plus Tompkins and Thomas in the training veranda. The younglings were learning how to use a lightsaber to deflect shots from little floating harmless droids. Young What's Her Face was hit by three lasers.

"Use the Force, feel, don't think, help you it will, my talking about no idea," Pom-Pom bubbled to the younglings as Strong Bad arrived, "Younglings, a visitor we have, welcome him."

"Hi Str… Master Strong Bad," said the younglings except for young Thomas, who wasn't into talking and was having a hard time taking off his helmet, which was too small for his head and was stuck.

"So, teaching these hopeless kids?" asked Strong Bad.

"What help to you, can I be?" asked Pom-Pom.

"I'm looking for this planet named Kamino, but the freakin' planet search doesn't know what the crap Kamino is," explained Strong Bad.

"Lost a planet, Master Strong Bad has. How embarrassing," Pom-Pom bubbled, making the younglings laugh.

"Hey! Shut up!" shouted Strong Bad, accidentally kicking young What's Her Face away.

"Fattycakes, the shades," Pom-Pom bubbled as fat Cheerleader had pulled down the shades, "An interesting puzzle. Gather around the map reader. Clear your minds and find Kamino we will."

Strong Bad got a little glass ball and placed it into a bowl on top of a shaft, showing holograms of stars and planets.

"So Kamino has to be around here," said Strong Bad as he pointed somewhere, "But it isn't, for some stupid reason. And I know the location because Bubs told me where it is."

"Most interesting. Kamino's location Bubs knows. Not shown, Kamino is. What wrong is this?" Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Uh, because someone erased it?" suggested Tompkins.

"The Padawan is right. Go to where told you Bubs did and find Kamino you will," Pom-Pom bubbled.

So as he and Strong Bad walked away, Strong Bad used the Force on the little glass ball to pull it away, and then throw into young Ugly One for having a confusing gender.

"So, who erased the information? That's impossible, or was Kamino made a year ago?" asked Strong Bad.

"Dangerous and disturbing this puzzle is. Only a Jedi could have erased those files. But who and why, harder to answer, and don't look at me. Meditate on this, I will. May the Force be with you," Pom-Pom bubbled.


Meanwhile, the spaceship Homestar, Marzipan, and Homsar were on landed on Naboo. Soon, Homestar, Marzipan, and Homsar were in the grand courtyard of the Naboo palace. They were talking about something important about politics.

"So I might have been one of the youngest Queens, but looking back, I don't think I was old enough and ready, since there was the Trade Federation attack an Episode ago," explained Marzipan.

"What we'we you talking about? I thought we wewe talking about, uh… something," replied Homestar.

"Anyway, I was glad my two terms of being Queen were over. But when Queen Yatta asked me to become Senator for a million flowers, I couldn't refuse," explained Marzipan.

"What happened to youw flowews?" asked Homestar.

"Most of them were destroyed by bodyguards and withering," replied Marzipan, "Poor Credenza, at least we revived her, before they destroyed her again."


In the throne room of the Naboo Palace, Queen Yatta was seated on the throne while Mr. Bland, Marzipan, and other advisors sat on chairs. The rest and Homestar just stood by the chairs.

"…so it looks like there's going to be a civil war if an army is made," explained Marzipan.

"What? There hasn't been a full-scale war since the formation of the republic!" exclaimed Mr. Bland.

"Is there any way to make the separatists come back to the Republic?" asked Queen Yatta.

"I don't think so, unless they are threatened, but then they would go to the Trade Federation for help," replied Marzipan.

"And Blue Laser is still the viceroy of the Trade Federation!" said Mr. Bland.

"Okay, let's end this discussion with a speech!" said Queen Yatta, "Let's keep our faith in the Republic and our democracy! Okay, let's go and have fruit smoothies!"

"What is your suggestion, Master Jedi?" Mr. Bland asked Homestar as all were leaving.

"He's not a Jedi yet, he's just a Padawan learner. I think…" began Marzipan.

"Uh, Mawzipan, uh…" interrupted Homestar.

"…that I should take refuge in the Lake Country, where there are isolated places," finished Marzipan.

"How about…" began Homestar.

"No, we're going to the Lake Country, and that's final!" retorted Marzipan.

"Okay, no use to awgue against youw tantwums," replied the defeated Homestar.