SEEDs of Reconciliation (T-rated version)
As always, thanks for reading and reviewing.
If you haven't figured it out by now, I wanted Kira and Lacus to be the model relationship. All the other couples are there to contrast with KxL, and often show different stages of development or different paths taken.
And to all those DxM fans out there, my apologies. I really like their pairing, but I had to end act two that way 'cause I just can't see them having it so easy. There are too many road blocks to their relationship, and I inadvertently added a few more before I knew what I was doing.
Please keep in mind that I haven't seen any of SEED Destiny and already know too many spoilers. This act completely skips over all that, and I've made a lot of assumptions (like who survives, how long it takes, etc). Don't correct me if I'm wrong on any of the details. And just as an aside, I probably won't even watch Destiny if I find out something really bad happens to Kira or Lacus. :-p
A word of warning: there's no action in this one. Zero. Maybe next time. ;-)
A/N
Chapter 1: Birthday Blues
"Thanks so much for coming," Lacus welcomed the couple. Athrun and Cagalli had finally been able to get it together. And just in time for the twins' birthday party. Uzumi and Lenore were now four years old and reunited with their parents. Rev. Malchio had been kind enough to hide them during the last round of conflict, while Kira and Lacus tried to save the world one last time. Now their fighting days were over. With the number of orphans under Rev. Malchio's care dwindling, the Yamato's decided to move into a home of their own in Onogoro. It had a nice ocean view from the back.
"We wouldn't have missed it for the world," Cagalli responded. "Hey you little monsters! Come give Auntie Cagalli a hug."
Ever obedient to their aunt, the twins ran up to Cagalli and Athrun. But then, who wouldn't be excited to see the rich aunt who always spoiled them? Uzumi hugged Cagalli, while Lenore hugged Athrun. Then they switched. That was the normal routine whenever they visited. It seemed the twins subconsciously knew which was named after whose parent. They had never been told, and were probably too young to understand the significance.
Cagalli asked, "Where's Kira?"
The question brought a sad look from Lacus. "He's out on the deck." Seeing Cagalli turning in that direction, Lacus hastily added "Please do not disturb him."
"What's wrong with him?"
"He'll be fine," Athrun caught her before she went anyway. "Leave it be," he whispered.
Lacus gave him a 'thank you' smile. She didn't want to explain. The last round of fighting had been very hard on them all, but even more so on Kira. He could be so sensitive. And he was reluctant to face Athrun. After the Bloody Valentine War, they promised each other they would never fight again. Fate made them break that promise, and again it took Lacus and Cagalli's intervention to avoid further tragedy. They had been home for some time now, but the girls had to endure uncomfortable silence between their men for months.
Athrun led his fiancée and the kids out of the doorway in case other guests would be arriving. Lacus was hoping for a nice little reunion. It had been well over a year since the last battle. Everyone needed time to heal from their wounds and attend to their own matters, so she put it off until now. Murrue Ramius promised to make it, but she had not come just yet. Miriallia and Sai said they would be late. They had been seeing a lot of each other lately, which she found quite sad. Lacus had always thought Miriallia and Dearka would have made a more interesting pair. Dearka sent word that he would arrive tomorrow along with Yzak and Ailesa. Other arrivals were questionable.
At least there was hope of a more populated Christmas party at Cagalli's palace in a few months. Perhaps everyone's schedules would work out then.
Lacus went to check on her melancholy husband. Making her way to the sliding glass door, she noticed he was leaning over the edge of the rail. Staring out at the ocean was still one of his habits.
"Kira?" She stood next to him, placing her hand on the small of his back. As always, she could feel his tensed muscles relax at her gentle touch.
"I'm sorry Lacus. It's hard to pull away on my own." He wrapped his arms around her, a silent thanks for bringing him back to reality.
"I know." They had a long talk about this once, not long after the birth of their children. About what exactly he was doing all those times he was lost in thought, looking at the ocean. His answer was 'talking to the dead.' Lacus didn't have to guess which dead person he talked with the most. She never asked him about it again.
They both knew deep down that he wouldn't survive long away from Lacus. And without Kira, she would die of loneliness. It was odd in a way. Most parents find that their children become the most important factor in their lives, despite the strength of the love between the couple. Not so with Kira and Lacus. They loved their children as much as any parent could, but their bond with each other was still much stronger. They shared an intimacy of the mind and soul that few, if any, could relate to. Without the other, life wouldn't be worth living.
"I love you," he kissed her forehead. Lacus responded in kind.
She shivered at the cool salt air coming up from the beach. "Your sister has arrived. I think it's time."
"Guess I can't avoid this much longer." He took her by the waist, ready to see his old friend again.
"I'm sure Athrun understands." They walked with arms around each other to their sitting room. It was where they always received company. Several nice chairs, two love seats and a wrap-around sofa made this spacious room a comfortable place for conversation.
Athrun did understand, but it didn't make this process any easier. The tension was palpable, much like after Tolle and Nicol were killed. But it gradually faded. Cagalli and Lacus kept a watchful eye just in case a blame-game got started. Their worry was for nothing. Kira and Athrun knew better.
Lacus asked, "So, when is the big day?"
Cagalli had called with the news several weeks ago, but there had not yet been an official announcement. "Well, we're still working on that," she admitted sheepishly.
"Just when we thought you two had it together," Kira chided Athrun.
"Hey, we've been busy," Cagalli came to his defense. Their relationship had progressed rather rapidly once Athrun had settled some issues. After learning of Cagalli's prearranged marriage, he enjoyed the attention of several admiring ladies. Cagalli was none too pleased when she found out. It took a little convincing, but Athrun proved to her where his heart lied.
"It's okay, he's just teasing you. Shall I go make us some tea?" Lacus arose from her seat.
"I'll help," Cagalli took the hint. Now that it was clear they wouldn't kill each other, perhaps the boys needed some time alone.
Once they were gone, Kira apologized. "Sorry."
"Yeah. Me too."
They left it at that and began to watch the twins playing amidst overly excited Haros. The earlier tension permeated the twins, but now they were completely oblivious to the grownups. They probably didn't even understand that it was their birthday. As long as they were happy it didn't really matter.
"I'm glad you could come," Kira said, just as Lacus and Cagalli returned with the tea.
"Don't worry about it."
Their exchanges were often like this. Leaving things partially said, hoping the other would fill in the blanks. But despite their outward discomfort recently, underneath they knew they were still the best of friends. And both were glad that the wall of bitterness was beginning to fade from between them.
The doorbell rang again, just as they were beginning to enjoy their tea.
"I'll get it," Lacus volunteered. "Oh, hello Murrue. Do come in."
Murrue's cheeks were flushed. It was becoming a more common sight these days, though Lacus had never actually seen her drunken. She hung out with the Yamatos often when off from Morgonraete's shipyards, volunteering to babysit the twins. And the Yamato family was all too glad to help Andy look after her.
In a way, the opposite was also true. Mu had thought of Kira as a younger brother, so in his absence Murrue wished to look out for Kira and his family. Murrue was sure that's what her dearest Mu would have wanted.
"Please join us." Lacus led her to the others in their sitting room.
Kira motioned her to sit in the chair beside him. After Cagalli returned bringing Murrue a cup of black coffee to clear her head, Kira decided it was time to have a talk with his former captain. "Are you going to tell or am I going to have to ask you directly?"
"It's nothing out of the ordinary. Just a lover's spat."
The relationship between Murrue and Andy was a complicated one and requires a bit of explanation. After the Bloody Valentine War, they had seen a lot of each other. It started out as war buddies reminiscing over drinks, then on to Murrue becoming the flirt Mu had been with her. Andy played it straight, much like she had done with Mu. No one was sure when, or even if it became something more than friendship. They moved in to an apartment together some time ago but neither offered any information on their relationship. They never showed affection in public and always changed the subject when anyone directly asked about their level of intimacy.
Kira looked to Lacus, asking her permission to poke further. She nodded yes, so Kira continued. "Andy not treating you well?"
"No!" Realizing that had a bit much in the volume department, she started over. "No. Andy's the perfect gentleman."
"So it was something you did, then?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Either talk to me now or I'll call Andy over and you can talk to him." Kira placed a firm hand on her arm. "You need to pull yourself together."
It was Lacus's turn to help, but from another angle. "Please Murrue. Settle whatever it is before it gets any worse."
The twins came over, sensing the problem. "Please Auntie Rue. Don't be sad no more."
That tipped the scales. Hugging the twins, she relented. "Yes. Let's call Andy over and talk about it."
"Excellent!" Lacus was extremely pleased. "I was hoping Mr. Waltfeld would be able to visit us today."
Chapter 2: Awkward Meetings
"See anything you like?" Dearka asked.
"Too much," she admitted. She loved window shopping. But at the moment, she was deriving more enjoyment from being here with him.
Their relationship was an unexpected one, but not unlikely given the circumstances. After Reiki's betrayal and suicide, Juni needed a friend to see her through it. Though she and Ailesa were close, there was a limit to her usefulness in that area. Ailesa still had Yzak. Dearka on the other hand had also been devastated by a loss, albeit a less drastic one. Both on an extreme rebound, they were able to help each other a great deal. They followed the strict decorum of the service, insisting on just remaining friends for some time. He knew she wanted more than that, and after a time he was willing to give her what she wanted. Now the shoe was on the other foot, but he would not hurt Juni as Miriallia had hurt him. He refused to do anything that would seem inappropriate while still in the military, but they had both been retired from ZAFT now for a year. There was nothing holding them back anymore.
"Well, I do hope you can narrow it down a little. Both for the sake of our budget and my arms." He was already carrying a small load of boxes and bags. Many were for the twins as well as for Athrun and Cagalli's engagement, but a few were just for her.
"I'm so sorry!" She hadn't been paying attention. "Here let me carry some."
"No it's okay. I've got it." The packages started to teeter as she tried to help and he tried to refuse.
"Oh no, watch out!" Juni warned them, but the as the situation became more unstable Dearka fell backwards towards innocent bystanders on the sidewalk.
"Ouch!" He fell right on top of a young lady who wasn't paying attention. "Oh, you broke my camera!"
"We're so sorry!" Juni helped the young lady up while some gentleman in tinted glasses helped Dearka stack the packages.
Looking up at her assailant, the young lady's blood suddenly ran cold. She breathed "Dearka?"
"Oh, boy. This is awkward," he gave in answer. It was someone he hadn't thought about in a long time. Someone he hoped he would never have to see again.
"Oh, hi Dearka." Sai turned out to be the gentleman in the company of female photographer.
"I take it this is miss Miriallia Haw. I'm Juni Hahn. Pleasure to meet you," Juni stuck out a hand to the lady in greeting. Her voice and facial expression was very polite, but one look into her raven-colored eyes showed the cool flames of pure hatred. She had worked hard to make Dearka forget her and she was infuriated at the though of those memories stirring within him once again. She would be damned if all her efforts turned out to be for nothing.
"Miriallia, Sai." Dearka nodded in greeting.
"What are you doing here in Onogoro?" Mir asked.
"We were planning a late entrance to Yamato's reunion, hoping to avoid just this type of awkward situation," he answered bluntly.
Not about to let him have the last word, "That's funny, my boyfriend and I were planning the same thing." All eyes turned to an uncomfortable-looking Sai.
"Okay, Mir. I'm sorry," Dearka apologized. "Let's just drop it now before we say things we'll both regret."
"That's a very good idea," Juni interjected. "Sorry to rush off but we must hurry to meet some friends. You two have a pleasant evening."
"And you as well," Sai gave a small wave goodbye.
Mir watched them disappear in the crowd, unable to take her eyes of that curly blond hair. It was just one of the things she had loved about him.
"Thank God that's over," Sai breathed a sigh of relief. He was never good at dealing with moments such as these.
"And why is that?" Mir cocked an eye at her companion.
"Are you kidding? Did you even see the look that girl gave you?"
"No, I wasn't paying attention," she answered honestly.
"I thought she was going to kill us. So, when are you ever going to tell me what happened between you two?"
Mir sighed as they sat down on a sidewalk bench to examine her camera. "Hopefully never." Only the lens was broken. It would be easy to get repaired. "You know how upset I get just thinking about it."
"He didn't do anything inappropriate to you, did he?"
"For the last time, no! Now will you leave me alone?" She was angry, her eyes watering.
"Okay. Sorry." Sai's curiosity was only piqued, but there's no way he would risk upsetting her further. He didn't mind being with Mir one bit. They had been friends a long time and had gone through a lot together. Neither had fooled themselves with illusions of having strong feelings for each other. They were just good friends that wound up dating for lack of anything better to do.
But there was still something that bothered him about all this. During and just after the Bloody Valentine War, even complete strangers could see there were some sparks flying between Miriallia and Dearka. Why did it end so abruptly?
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. One day I guess I'll have to give you an explanation. Just not today, alright?"
"It's okay." He put his arm around her, letting her head rest on his shoulder. "You just take things at your own pace."
"So that was Miriallia Haw."
"Yeah," was all he could say.
"Don't be sad. It's over now."
"I'm fine," he lied through a smile. "How can I be sad when I'm with you, right?"
"You can't fool me, Dearka. I know better than anyone, that's one wound that runs deep. Too deep. It should never have the chance to reopen."
Eager to change the subject he asked, "Where were we supposed to meet Yzak again?"
"Just over there," she pointed. "Come on. They're waiting for us." She knew this would eat him up inside. Why her and why now? Please don't do this to my Dearka, she pleaded in her mind.
Yzak greeted his best friend. "Instead of asking what you bought, should I just ask what all you didn't buy? It might take less time that way." Yzak was always impatient in such nonmilitary matters. The gruffness of the greeting belied the deep friendship underneath. Yzak was the first to help Dearka carefully distribute the packages on their table outside a restaurant.
"Thanks, it's good to see you too," Juni matched his sarcasm. She was no longer frightened of her former commander, but still used to walking on egg shells in his presence after all these years. Whenever they were all together she took great care in selecting her words when kidding around.
"Are you two ready for a quick dinner?" Ailesa was starving. She wanted something before heading over to their hotel.
"Sure," Dearka and Juni said in unison.
As the sun set, the two couples shared peaceful meal together. The local cuisine was as fantastic as the view of the sun sinking into the ocean. It was as if Apollo himself reached down from the sky to dip his finger in the water, setting the gentle seas ablaze with Olympian glory. Poseidon, in response, would swallow the burning fingertip and turn day into night. The four of them watched silently, in awe of the romantic sight. A kind gift from the gods to these mere mortals.
It didn't take long for the tension of the earlier encounter to fade from Dearka. He enjoyed being with Juni, and she with him. They had been close friends for a long time, and as an added bonus she was quite nice to look at. Like the statue of a slender Mediterranean goddess, complete with ivory skin, dark eyes, and equally dark loosely braided hair. At times her hair reflected the light, like a polished jet-black surface. At others it seemed to absorb the light like a collapsed star, transferring a radiant glow to her kind face.
Their hotel was a nice one, and quite affordable on a soldier's pension. Yzak and Ailesa shared a room. Not being as bold as their friends, Dearka and Juni shared the two room suite next door.
Dearka's first order of business was a hot shower. It was as if he thought the painful memories could be washed away with enough soap. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work that way. Now he lay on the bed watching the ceiling fan slowly rotate. It went around and around, just like his mind. He had avoided coming back to Orb for as long as he could without being overly rude to his friends. And what should happen on his first day back but a chance encounter with Miriallia. He buried it deep down, but it was now painfully obvious to everyone that he still carried a torch for her. And after all that effort he put in to getting on with his life.
A gentle knock came from the door that divided the suite rooms. "Come in Juni."
If he had taken his eyes off the ceiling he would have seen her cheeks turn crimson with embarrassment. She glided over to his bed and pulled a sheet over his lower body.
"Sorry." Now it was his turn to blush. He was so lost in thought that he forgot he was only wearing his boxers.
"It's alright." She sat down next to him, placing a loving hand on his cheek. "I don't mind if you don't."
They sat there a moment in silence; she looking at him, him looking up at the the fan.
"You're thinking about her, aren't you?"
"Sorry." He sat up and took her hands in his. Looking deep into her eyes, "I swear to you, I'll never hurt you Juni."
"I know." She kissed him. "And I won't let you get hurt either. That's a promise." She laid down with him; hugging his neck from the side, running her fingers through his hair.
"You're the best, Juni." She was very sweet and fiercely loyal to him. Juni was perfect in every way that mattered. And she would never leave him, never disappoint him in any way. They had already made plans to spend their lives together. She would make him very happy. But was there anything missing? He often asked himself that.
He turned towards her as she tightened her hug, pressing her ample chest into his. Her eyes asked, Want to make out?
Actually, he did.
Chapter 3: Disaster in the Making
"You guys are late," Kira said in a fake hurt tone. They had decided to show up in the middle of the morning. It actually worked out well, as the kids had just woken up. They were allowed to stay up much later than usual, at Aunt Cagalli's insistence of course.
In his characteristic style, Yzak responded "Yeah, well we were busy."
"Don't worry about it. We're glad you could come," Athrun welcomed them in. He and Cagalli had stayed the night in the spare bedroom. At the moment, the girls were out of the house. They were likely shopping.
"I don't believe we've met. I'm Juni Hahn. Pleasure to meet you Mr. Yamato."
"There's no need for such formalities here," Athrun told her.
"Yeah, just call me Kira."
Ailesa asked, "So where are the twins?"
"They're in the next room," Kira pointed. "Playing with the small mountain of toys they're aunt and uncle have collected for them."
"So you finally went and did it?" Dearka pretended to be shocked.
"Yeah Zala, it sure took you long enough," Yzak jumped at the opportunity. He could never pass up the chance to give Athrun a good ribbing.
"Actually . . . we haven't set a date yet," Athrun admitted.
Dearka and Yzak had trouble holding back their laughter.
"Oh, give me a break. Like you two aren't slow movers in the commitment department." Ailesa chided them, with Juni backing her up. The girls pointed to their left hands, where a certain style of jewelry was conspicuously absent from their fingers.
Kira and Athrun laughed hard at that one.
Dearka had no response. Yzak only mumbled something incoherent before making his way into the sitting room.
Ailesa had other plans for Yzak. "Oh no you don't. We're going to see those twins." She grabbed his arm just as he was about to take a seat, dragging him off into the next room.
"What was that all about?" Kira asked.
Juni answered, "That? Due to her old injuries, it would be extremely dangerous for Ailesa to try and have kids. The doctors had her sterilized before she even left the infirmary. Since she can't have children of her own, she's determined to enjoy those of others."
"Well, we could always use a babysitter," Kira thought aloud. "At least the kids will be occupied until Lacus and Cagalli return. Come on, let's go sit down."
"How are things in the PLANTs?" Athrun asked Dearka.
"Quite well. Things have really settled down there. So much so that Juni and I retired from ZAFT a little over a year ago. They don't need this worn out old soldier anymore. Yzak still holds a seat on the council, though its relevance is growing less and less as concerns shift from those of wartime to peacetime. That's how he was able to get away for an extended stay here."
"At the ripe old age of twenty-two, you hardly qualify as worn out." Athrun's comment drew an affirmative nod from Juni.
"So how long will you be staying?" Kira asked.
"Right now we don't have any definite plans. We could stay until after Lady Cagalli's Christmas party." Dearka patted Juni's hand on his forearm.
"I take it that makes you uncomfortable, Juni?" Kira could be quite perceptive when his mind was in anchored in the present. A trait he likely picked up from his wife.
"What makes you say that?"
"No need to be defensive. It was just an observation. We had a couple of guests last night who seem to have bumped into you."
"They told you?" Dearka asked.
"No. They didn't have to. Just like you don't have to tell me now." Kira leaned forward, his tone becoming more serious. "If this is going to be a problem, then I suggest the four of you sit down and talk it out before too much time passes."
"And what business is it of yours?" Juni was indignant.
"None at all. But I will not have old quarrels stirred up in front of my children. They're very sensitive to what goes on around them, and very perceptive too. And I'm sure Cagalli doesn't need any trouble at her party either."
"You have my word. We won't make a scene." Dearka matched his tone.
"It's not you two that I'm worried about." Kira leaned back into his seat, retaking the comfortable position he held moments eariler. That was his signal that the time for serious discussion was over, and the others sensed it. Being with Lacus these past several years had made him more bold, more decisive. She had taught him to take a commanding presence when necessary, and to know when to back off.
With the serious matters out of the way, the four enjoyed a nice long talk about nothing in particular. Juni was still a little leery of Kira over his suggestion, but she soon realized he only had everyone's best interests at heart. If they couldn't avoid her forever, perhaps they really should try to talk it out. Otherwise they would go through this every time Dearka came to see his friends. Hiding in the PLANTs wasn't an option for them anymore.
A knock at the door broke her train of thought. She arose first, "I'll get it. You boys continue." Opening the front door, she greeted the visitor. "Good morning, how may I . . ."
"Oh hello again. We didn't have time to be properly introduced. My name is Sai Argyle. I fought with Dearka during the Bloody Valentine War. Well, the end of it anyway." He put his hand on the back of his head to indicate embarrassment.
"How may I help you?" she managed to get out, after shaking his hand in greeting. She tried to look around him without being rude, just to make sure he wasn't accompanied by Miriallia.
"Please don't look so alarmed." And please don't kill me either, he thought. "I just wanted to speak with Kira for a moment, if that's alright."
"Of course it is." She was taken aback by his politeness. Armed with a very unflattering image of Miriallia, she was a little surprised that her boyfriend would be someone so kind and sincere. She stepped aside and motioned for Sai to enter.
"And I would like to apologize for last night also."
"Why? Did you do something wrong?"
"No, but my companion can be . . . well, I'm sure you understand." He continued with a slight bow, "I would just like to apologize on her behalf."
"There's really no need, Mr. Argyle."
"Just Sai will be fine." He breathed a sigh of relief, seeing Juni wouldn't harm him. "I don't really know what happened between those two, but sometimes it makes things uncomfortable for all of us."
"She didn't tell you? I'm not surprised."
He could tell she had an extreme dislike of Miriallia, and thought it best to leave this subject. "No. She keeps putting it off. Well, no point in stirring it up any further. It was nice seeing you again."
"I'm sorry for coming unannounced. I didn't know who else to turn to, and I surely didn't want her to find out."
"No need to apologize Sai. I saw this one coming four years ago," Kira stated.
"His presence really upsets her, and I'm sure he feels the same way. What do you think I should do?"
Being in the senior relationship, and close friends to them all, Kira and Lacus had become the unofficial relationship counselors to their little group of friends. They didn't mind. They were always seeking to help others any way they could. "Well, I already suggested to Dearka that the four of you sit down and talk it out before too much time passes."
"Are you sure that's wise?"
"No, but would you rather have Mir and Dearka hiding from each other for the rest of their lives? How could they live like that? And what would become of us, their mutual friends? We shouldn't be made to choose where we go and who we talk to based on the animosity between them."
"I'm not so sure that it's just animosity. I think she still has feelings for him."
"If that's the case, then it makes it that much more important that something be done sooner rather than later. Too much time has passed already. The inevitable confrontation will only be worse the longer we wait." He sighed at the thought.
"Yeah. You're probably right."
"But you know, this is just a disaster waiting to happen." Kira gave his friend a worried look. "If you would like, I could be on hand to help out."
"No. The fewer of us the better." Sai was just as worried. "More people would only make it more difficult."
Chapter 4: Memories
"What's all this about?" Miriallia was furious. How dare they put her through this. Kira had called and warned her, but that didn't make her any less angry.
"We just want to talk," Dearka answered. Actually he didn't, and neither did Juni. But they came anyway. The four of them were sitting at an outdoor restaurant table. The same restaurant Dearka and company were at the previous evening. According to the advice they were given, only Deark and Mir had spoken thus far. Sai and Juni were there for crowd control. Again, it was approaching sunset. It would be less than an hour before fire lit the seas again.
"Is this your idea of a cruel joke?" Her voice dripped with poisonous venom. She just wanted to curl up and shut herself off from the world when she thought about Dearka.
Standing up, he pound his fist into the defenseless table, "How dare you call me cruel!" The wood cracked under the strain, his knuckles leaving indentations to ruin the polished cherry finish. At Juni's touch he remembered himself, and sat back down calmly.
Tears began welling in her eyes as the memories washed over her, drowning her in despair. "Yes, it was all my fault," she admitted. "Can I go now?"
"Stay or go as you please. That's how it's always been, right Mir?"
"Fine." She got up to go, but Sai took hold of her arm.
Sai told her, "You're not finished yet. This meeting has a purpose, if you two could just get back on track."
Dearka apologized. "Right. I would like to avoid further confrontation, if possible."
"Then stay away from me," Mir ordered. Not once in this discussion had she made eye contact with him.
"Does that mean I can't come see my friends?"
"No," she sighed. "I give up," she whispered, getting up to leave again.
"Where are you going now?" Sai asked.
"To the ladies room."
Juni followed her.
"This is an unmitigated disaster," Dearka told Sai.
Sai nodded. "Yeah, but it's not over yet."
Juni entered the ladies room just in time to see Mir burst into tears.
Noticing the company, she quickly composed herself and washed her face. "What do you want?" Mir asked.
This was the first time Juni heard her utter words that were not unkind. Perhaps it was because Dearka wasn't in the immediate vicinity. "I don't like this situation any more than you do."
"Sorry. I have a tendency to mess up people's lives. But I guess you knew that already." She sounded tired, emotionally exhausted. It almost seemed as if she was ready to pass out.
"Why don't you drop this childishness? It's pointless now. After four years, why can't you two just let it go and get on with your lives?"
"That's a nice speech. Sounds like you'd rather be saying that to someone else," Mir eyed her closely.
"True. But I thought I'd practice on you before I tried it on someone important."
Ouch. "Guess I deserve that."
"Yes. You do." Juni's eyes smoldered. And this time Mir couldn't miss the hatred in them. It was as if Juni was trying to burn holes through her by sheer force of will.
"Fine. May I have a few minutes alone with Dearka? There's a park bench across the street. If we're going to talk, I'd rather it be in private."
"Sure." Juni turned to go. "Just remember, I'll be watching you. If you hurt him again, you will not live long enough to regret it." She finished her statement just as the door swung shut behind her.
"Right," she said to herself. Checking herself one last time in the mirror, she took a deep breath. This is going to be hard, but then it always was with Dearka. When she returned, Dearka was already across the street waiting for her. Sai and Juni, carefully positioned to keep an eye on them, were at the table ordering dinner.
Juni eyed Mir as she made her way to Dearka's side. "You think this will be alright?"
Sai answered, "Yeah. They're both good people, and that's what makes this all so sad."
"I would disagree with that, but then I'm a little biased."
That drew a laugh. "At least you're honest." Sai gave her a smile. "Really, Mir is a kind person. And I think they loved each other very much at one point. Something big came between them. I don't know about Dearka, but whatever it was ruined her life."
Juni was taken aback. "You mean, her too? Well, it serves her right after what she did."
"Like I said earlier, I don't know the particulars of what tore them apart."
"You really want to know? I'll tell you." Seeing his interest, she continued. "She led him on for over a year, she slept with him, and then she dumped him the very next day."
"I see. Yeah, that would do it." After a few moments he asked, "So what do you think they're talking about?"
"I see you still like to wear orange sun dresses." Actually, Dearka didn't see. He didn't even look at her when she sat down. They had been sitting in silence for several minutes. This was how he decided to start the conversation.
"It's my favorite color. Brings out my eyes and accentuates my hair." She tried to laugh at herself, but it wasn't funny. With the ice broken, Miriallia decided to ask what was on her mind. "So what's the deal with your girl? I don't even know her and she already hates me."
"Juni is very special. Just before I boarded the flight to Carpenteria, someone she cared for had died rather badly. She was very depressed; I was the only one who knew she was actually suicidal. I helped her through it. And after you, she helped me through that. She is very kindhearted and loving. She'll never hurt me, and I'll never hurt her."
His words were very kind, but the reminder of what happened still stung. What hurt even more was that this kindness was directed at another woman. "I see," she said. "You deserve someone like that."
"Yes, I do."
They were facing the ocean, watching the sun about to set. Dearka didn't notice she was crying.
"I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me for what I did to you," she whispered.
He sighed. "I forgave you a long time ago, Mir."
"That's good. I never forgave myself." She unconsciously sought his hand. "Do you . . . still think of me?"
He took his hand away. "I haven't for a long time. Juni helped me to forget."
"I never stopped thinking of you." She was being perfectly honest.
"Don't, Mir. Even if I still loved you more than life itself, I will not betray Juni for you."
"No, I don't expect you would. I had my chance and blew it, right?"
"Quite so." He gave her back his hand. "I still care for you a great deal. Don't ask me for anything more than I can give."
Memories flooded her mind again, physically knocking her back. He had once told her: Listen Mir. I'm not going to ask for more than you can give. Let's just leave it at that.
Silent tears fell on his hand, drawing his eyes to her face for the first time. "Then let's just leave it at that," Mir said, smiling behind the tears.
They heard a song wafting through the air, coming from the restaurant. It sounded centuries old, but the words were very poignant given the circumstances. But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one that compares with you. And these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new.
There was a part of them that still loved each other very much. But then, there was also a part that needed to move on.
They turned to look a the ocean once again, hand-in-hand. Sunset. Apollo and Poseidon fulfilled their daily ritual. The view in these islands could be so romantic. The soft red-orange glow on the shimmering waves reminded them so much of what they once wanted from each other. What they had so desperately hoped for, and for one brief night they actually had.
Chapter 5: Things Left Unsaid
"May I ask?"
"You know you can ask me anything, Juni." They were walking back to their hotel under the stars. "I can't keep secrets from you."
"What did you two talk about?"
"I think we decided to bury the hatchet."
"You don't sound too sure about that."
He put his arm around her, pulling her close. "I just hope it's over."
"Do you still want to stay here?" She stopped him under a street lamp so she could see his face.
"Don't you want to?" He wasn't sure where this was going. "Onogoro is a nice enough place and it's just until Christmas, right?"
"Is it because of her that you wanted to stay here?"
"No. I came so I could be with my friends again. I'm tired of hiding from her, from what happened." He wiped her cheeks free of tears. "Don't cry Juni. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it." The promise renewed, sealed with a tender kiss. "I love you Juni, though I'm just now realizing how much."
"I'm not sure you've ever said that to me before." She held him tight. "I love you so much, Dearka Elsman. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."
"Please don't cry."
"Fool," she buried her face in his chest. "Can't you tell tears of joy?"
"Come on. Let's get back." They were almost to the hotel and very tired. From visiting the Yamatos to confronting Mir, they were drained.
Juni knocked on the suite door again, but this time Dearka had the presence of mind to have on his pajama bottoms before asking her in.
She came in wearing a night shirt; a t-shirt really. One of Dearka's, it barely came down far enough to cover her panties. He had given it to her the one time they broke their 'while in the service' rule. They had just started making out while off duty when he had to race off to the bridge for some emergency, leaving the shirt behind. They never told anyone and quickly resumed their strict code of conduct. One of her favorite things in the world, she had slept in it often over the past couple of years. She had also let her braids out in preparation for bed. Brushed out, her hair was mostly straight but with a hint of curl. In the soft lighting it almost shimmered blue as it hung all the way down to the middle of her back.
"May I come in?" she asked, hoping she wasn't being too bold.
He motioned her in, letting her sit between his legs. They watched a little television like that, sitting on the bed, leaning back on the headboard, him holding her from behind. When his hand slipped, not entirely by accident, he notice she wasn't wearing a bra. She breathed a sigh of contentment, knowing that the event won her his full attention.
"Dearka?"
"Yes?"
"May I stay?" Juni leaned a little to the side so she could turn her head and look up at him.
He hesitated for a moment. This was how it had happened four years ago. He shook those thoughts from his mind. No. It won't be like how it was with Mir.
Thinking it a dismissal, she began to rise. "If you don't want me to, then I'll go . . ."
"No. Stay with me." He held on to her, preventing her from escaping. The sweet scent of her perfume filled his senses as they kissed, about to give in to desire. "Please stay. I would like that very much."
She pounced on him like a playful cat with her mouse. She pinned his shoulders, forcing him to lie on his back. Flicking her hair to let it all hang down on one side, she trembled in anticipation of this moment. Her first time. From above she promised, "I won't leave you Dearka. I'll be yours for as long as you'll have me."
She gave herself to him, body and soul; a gift he humbly accepted. Still so fragile, so vulnerable, he promised to protect her as well as love her.
With every fiber of her being she needed to please him. It was as if her very life depended on it.
Perhaps in some small way it did. She would never be subservient to anyone, but when it came to Dearka . . .
It all went back to Reiki Setsuka. She thought she had lost everything when she lost him. She was nothing; void and without purpose. The pain was unbearable. She had wanted, and tried to end it all more than once. Each time Dearka was just in time to stop her from killing herself. Afterward, she lived every minute just for him. She would live because he wished it. There was nothing romantic about at first, as she respected the fact that he had eyes only for Miriallia. When she got to the chance to be there for him, that's when it really began. She knew she was too needy. She knew that he never needed her as much as she needed him. But she never wanted to be apart from her savior. If she felt like nothing before, she would feel like less than nothing without him.
She was terrified that he would leave her for Miriallia, though this was not her way of trying to solidify their relationship. Perhaps that fear was just as much a part of her hatred for Miriallia as the fact that he had once been hurt.
As they cuddled afterwards, she lay with her head on his chest, drawing circles on his bronzed torso with her finger. He could feel her heart still racing through her firm bosom.
After laying a long while in silence, a single tear tickled his chest.
"You don't have to worry," he told her. "I won't ever hurt you."
"I'm not worried. At least, not worried about that."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't trust her. Not at all." She looked into his eyes. "You loved her very much once, and possibly still do. It's obvious something is still there after all this time. What if she . . ." took you away from me?
"No. It's over. At least for my part, it ended today." He gave her a kiss and held her tight. "Don't ever worry about that Juni. I'll take care of you." He watched her yawn. "So cute, just like a kitten," he thought aloud. "Let's get some rest, shall we?"
But kittens can be mischievous as well as cute. Like a cat with her master, she gave a playful lick to the end of his nose. "Why? We don't have anywhere to be tomorrow, do we?"
The next day, two couples officially announced their engagements. Yzak and Ailesa, as well as Dearka and Juni. Yzak had the foresight to plan ahead for this moment, knowing Ailesa would never forgive him if he didn't have a ring ready for the event. And to date she had won well over ninety percent of the sparring matches between them. He didn't want to give her added incentive to pummel him in their next match.
Dearka, on the other hand, was less prepared. He surprised Juni, and himself, by popping the question as they awoke in each others arms at midmorning. She accepted without a moment's hesitation. In celebration, they consummated their love yet another time.
It was early fall, so there were still birds singing in the trees. Their morning chatter made perfect applause for the happy couple.
Now all that remained was finding her a ring.
It didn't take long for Juni to find one that she liked. It was simple, yet elegant. Not unlike Juni herself.
Their second order of business was to visit the Yamato residence and let them in on the news. It was now a little after lunch, so the twins would probably be napping.
On the way, they again had a chance encounter with the old flame. Fortunately, this time they saw each other coming.
"I'm sorry, Dearka." Mir lowered her head in shame.
He asked, "What are you apologizing for?"
Juni remained politely silent.
"I was hoping to run into you. There's something that was left unsaid yesterday. I couldn't bring myself to tell you, so I'll just have to show you." She looked up to see the fire return to Juni's eyes. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not here to steal your boyfriend away. You're more than welcome to come along."
Dearka looked to Juni for guidance. "Are you alright with this?"
"It's up to you," she responded. She would follow him anywhere, but her disappointment showed. Was Mir going to ruin her special day?
Dearka turned back to Mir. "Might as well get it over with."
They silently followed Mir to a nearby pier, where a boat was waiting for them. Kira was there to pilot. It seemed he knew Mir's little secret as well. The boat ride was short and uneventful, the four of them riding in silence. Dearka immediately recognized the destination.
"Mr. Yamato!" A handful of children ran up to greet their friend and teacher. Many remembered Mir as she was still a regular visitor, but only a few remembered Dearka. Those that did only vaguely recalled him as the man who came with Miriallia on her first visit over five years ago.
Rev. Malchio came out to see what the commotion was about. "Oh my. Do we have visitors?"
"It's good to see you again reverend." Dearka took his hand in greeting.
"A familiar voice. Dearka, is it?" It had been years, but the reverend had an excellent memory.
"Yes sir. Miriallia said she had something to show me."
"I see. You had best come with me then." The blind clergyman was guided by one of the children back into the home.
Juni wanted to follow, but Mir took hold of her sleeve. "Please, he should do this alone."
Suppressing the urge to kill was difficult. "Why did you invite me along then?"
"You can see later. Just let Rev. Malchio handle this. It'll all become clear in a few moments."
Juni sensed sincerity in her adversary. She told the truth. Juni didn't have to wait long.
Dearka came to the door, white as a sheet. A young boy held his hand. A toddler, a little over three years old. He had the blond curly hair of his father but his skin tone was much lighter, more like his mother.
"Mama!" The little boy raced to his mother.
"It's good to see you again, Tolle." Mir hugged her young son tightly, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry it's been so long."
Rev. Malchio came back out to join the group as they witnessed the mother-son reunion. "It's been a couple of days. I assume you were busy?"
Mir apologized. "Yes. I'm sorry reverend."
"It is not to me that you should be apologizing."
Juni was beginning to understand. She was about to say something when Dearka placed a gentle finger over her lips.
He knew what she was thinking. It was on his mind too. The illegitimate child between two ill-fated lovers, forced to stay with Rev. Malchio because of the mother's shame. And she even had the nerve to name him after another lover. Was this her way of getting revenge on him? Some sort of payback for producing a son that looked so much like the father?
Dearka turned to Kira, "How long have you known about this?"
"Since the beginning," he sighed. "Rev. Malchio, Lacus and I have helped to look after the boy since the beginning. No one else knows." Kira led Dearka and Juni away from the mother and son. "This has been very hard on her. She loves her son very much, but when she looks on him all she sees is you. It's a constant reminder of a painful memory. The shame and anger building within, she wanted to tell you but was unable to bring herself to do so. This is the real reason why I suggested you all sit down and talk things over."
The three of them looked back to see the mother and son watching them. The toddler pointed, "Da da?" Mir nodded 'yes,' much to her son's satisfaction.
"Hello Tolle. Do you mind if I am your father?"
The boy thought hard about it for a moment. Shaking his head 'no,' Tolle reached out for his father's hand. His son had accepted him. It was then everyone realized that they had been unconsciously holding their breaths while the young child made his decision.
Dearka looked back at Juni to make sure. She wasn't angry, or sad, or confused. If he was happy, then she was happy for him. And perhaps she could find it in her heart to forgive Miriallia one day. Just not today.
Rev. Malchio invited them in. "Come. We can talk over tea."
Chapter 6:Needs and Irreconcilable Differences
Rev. Malchio asked Juni, "Perhaps you and Kira would like to go play with the boy?"
She took the hint. After asking her fiancée if he would be alright, she arose to leave. Before making her exit Juni kissed him on the cheek, making sure Miriallia would have no trouble seeing it.
Dearka asked, "Is there anything he needs?"
The reverend was blunt. "Parents." After an uncomfortable silence he continued. "I'm not unsympathetic to your situation, but you must understand that I take care of war orphans. Tolle has two perfectly good parents sitting in this room. His presence here is something that should never have happened."
"I'm sorry reverend. I honestly didn't know. How do you suggest we handle this?"
"That is entirely up to the two of you. Don't you have anything to say, Miriallia?"
She responded meekly, "No sir." She had heard this lecture before but she could never quite bring herself to live with her son. It was all she could manage to stay with him half the time. Even after three years, looking at him only broke her heart again and again.
"That's too bad." The reverend took a long sip to finish his tea. He could tell by the lack of distinctive 'clinks' of fine china that his company had yet to take a sip of theirs. A shame really. It was exceptionally good today. Lacus had blended it especially for him, the main ingredient being orange pekoe. His favorite.
"I could ask Juni if she'd like to help me take care of him," Dearka suggested.
"That sounds excellent." The clergyman asked, "And how would you feel about that Miriallia?"
She broke out into a full sob before he finished the question. Leaning forward, she placed her face between her knees and covered her head from the imaginary stones falling from above. She managed to answer, "Guilty, ashamed, lost, frightened, angry, jealous and . . . still in love." Her feelings ran the emotional gamut. "But I know we couldn't go back, even if we wanted to."
"That makes things difficult, but more for the child than for you."
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "If you and Juni can give him a good home, then please do so. Just let me see my son. That's all that I ask."
"Of course," Dearka tried to sit her up straight and dry her tears with a tissue. "It's a shame things had to turn out this way. I think we both wanted things to be so different."
Rev. Malchio spoke, "There is an old saying: the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. It doesn't matter how you wanted things to turn out. The only thing that matters now is what you do with the things you are given."
He was being harsh, but with a purpose. For the child's sake, what these two needed was a good swift kick in the pants.
"I don't mind at all." Juni was being sincere. She and Dearka may not be able to have children of their own, so this could work out in their favor. "But I am a little uncomfortable with the thought of Miriallia coming to visit often."
"I'm sorry," he apologized with a kiss. "This is going to make things that much harder on us." They were alone on the beach of Rev. Malchio's island, watching the sun sink, waiting for the stars to prick holes through the sky. They had no way of knowing it, but this was the exact spot where Kira and Lacus had often come to watch the sunset as newlyweds.
"I understand, my love. You're just thinking of what's best for the child." She held him tight, burying her face in his chest as she did so often. She begged, pleaded with him in her mind not to hurt her. Not to leave her.
"Whatever happens, I want you by my side."
She looked up, surprised to hear him speaking her exact thoughts.
Noting the look on her face, he asked "Is it really such a surprise that I'd want to be with you?"
"No, I suppose not. You did ask me to marry you."
"I'm glad you accepted."
As evening faded into twilight, the ocean breeze picked up. It blew the loose braids out of her hair, leaving it to flow at the mercy of the wind. The fading light caused her hair to turn that brilliant shade of dark blue he found so intriguing. Caught up in the moment, he proposed to her all over again.
"You just asked me that this morning. I already told you, Dearka. Now and forever, I belong to you. All of me, for as long as you want me."
"How does forever sound?"
"Not long enough, but I guess it'll have to do." Gently placing her hands on his cheeks, she drew him in for a passionate kiss.
They didn't notice their audience. Miriallia saw it all from the doorway. Their words couldn't be heard, but she knew in her heart what they were saying. She didn't cry, just watched with a sad smile on her face. She was happy for Dearka. It wasn't hard for her to superimpose an image of herself over Juni, imagining being there in her place. No. I had my chance and I pushed him out of my life, probably when he needed me the most. When I needed him the most. But if she hadn't, Juni might not be alive right now. How did she feel about that? As the couple's conversation turned into something more, she closed the door. That's enough of that. Juni is a good woman, and that's what he deserves. Not someone selfish and irresponsible like me. At least one of us found the love that we so desperately needed.
Chapter 7: Autumn Breeze
"Forgive us reverend. We need some time to find a home and settle down before we can take Tolle back with us. I wouldn't want to start our lives off in a hotel room. We'll be back for him as soon as possible. I promise."
"That's quite alright, Dearka. It may take a few months to make the necessary arrangements. He will be well cared for while you are working on that. Just don't forget; your son needs a father."
Mir cradled the crying boy. "Goodbye, my darling Tolle. Don't cry. Mommy will come back to you soon."
It nearly killed Juni to watch the scene. Tolle wasn't her child and she didn't think it appropriate to criticize the mother. It took all her self control to keep from bursting into tears for the poor kid. After spending two nights at the orphanage, she and Dearka had become quite fond of little Tolle. They would give him a good home.
Kira was getting restless. He was never able to stay away from Lacus for long, and he insisted they leave as early as possible that morning.
Lacus was waiting for them at the pier, though she had no way of knowing of their arrival. In her heart she already knew where to be and when. Their very souls cried out for each other while they were apart. The three passengers watched in respectful silence as Kira docked and then flew like a flash to embrace his wife.
"I know how they feel," Juni hugged her fiancée's arm.
"Yeah," he kissed her forehead. "I guess we should get started." They parted with Mir and the Yamatos, making their way into the city.
"Oh, there's so much to do and so little time."
"I know." He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"With what?"
"Rushing though marriage, settling down, adopting the child I had with another woman. Take your pick."
"Dearka, I . . ." She shook her head. "As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."
"Thank you Juni."
"And besides, I like him. I don't know if I'll be a good wife or mother, but I'll try hard. For you, and for little Tolle."
"Did I ever tell you that you were the best?" He grabbed her underarms and lifted her into the air; spinning around, watching her laugh. Her hair fluttered in the cool autumn breeze. She had begun leaving it unbraided and after seeing how much he enjoyed it loose.
The leaves had turned in recent days. The orange and red leaves of maples danced about them, only serving to accentuate the moment. If only they could capture this scene for eternity.
Autumn in Onogoro. Many consider autumn the twilight of the year. A sad time. A time of decay before the eventual death that winter brings, not unlike the twilight of one's life. But for these two it was a happy time, filled with precious memories to be cherished.
Bringing her back down, he wrapped her in a tight embrace. Their display had attracted the attention of passers by. It didn't matter. All they could see was each other.
"Dearka? I think I have an idea."
"Oh, that's so sweet." Cagalli was almost in tears when they told her. Dearka was careful to leave out the part about the child's lineage, but the rest was the honest truth. They wanted to have a nice wedding, settle down in Onogoro, and adopt a child from Rev. Malchio. And they wanted it in a hurry.
Athrun asked, "Why did you come to us?" He was sitting in a chair a few feet from the rest of the group, flipping through a business magazine. Dearka and Juni were sharing a love-seat, holding hands. Cagalli was sitting in a plush chair on the opposite side of a mahogany writing table from the couple.
Juni volunteered, "That was my idea. I thought, 'who better to ask about weddings than a princess and her consort.'"
Cagalli's eyes widened with glee. "Hey, I could consider this practice for us!" She looked at her fiancée, expecting him to give some sort of acknowledgment.
Knowing she was waiting for a response, all Athrun had to say was "Sure." He didn't even look up despite complete disinterest in his chosen reading material.
A 'sure' wasn't what she was looking for. "Athrun Zala, you better the heck be thinking of a date. And I mean now, mister!"
"Yes ma'am." He rolled his eyes, not quite unconsciously of course.
"Uh oh." Dearka took Juni and slowly stepped away. "Here it comes," he whispered.
The volcano within trembled in unbridled fury, ready to erupt. Cagalli exploded, "ATHRUN ZALA!" Grabbing the nearest thing she could find, a stack of her wedding magazines, she aimed for his head.
Even with his Coordinator reflexes he barely escaped a flurry of paper cuts. "Okay, I'm sorry." That apology didn't satiate her in the slightest. He laughed as Cagalli chased him around the room which, needless to say, didn't help matters any.
"Sorry? That's not good enough!" She finally caught up to him, giving him a hard right to his breastbone. It would leave a small bruise.
Before she could recover from her punch, he wrapped her tightly in his arms. "How about Christmas, then?" he asked, sweetening his voice. She didn't have time to respond as he locked her lips to his.
She melted in his little trap. "You were planning this? Why do you always do that to me?"
"Because it's fun." He liked to play this little game with her. Making her mad, then making it all better. It simultaneously infuriated her and brought her closer to him. "And it keeps you on your toes."
That was her cue to return his kiss.
"Ahem." Dearka asked, "Would you two like to be alone?"
"Yes please," Athrun answered. He scooped Cagalli off her feet heading for another, more private, part of the palace.
"We'll be with you a little later," Cagalli waved as Athrun carefully maneuvered her through the door.
Juni had a hard time containing herself. Through the laughter she asked, "Wow. Are they always like that?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"So, should we just wait here while they have their fun?"
He took her outstretched hand and spun her around, as if they were dancing to inaudible music. "Sure. We can have our fun later."
They retook their position in the love seat, waiting for their hosts to return. It took a while. Juni laid down, her head on his lap with feet dangling over the edge of the seat arm. Dearka stroked her hair as she fell asleep facing up at him. Like a little black kitten, she almost purred at his touch.
"I'll keep my promise," he whispered. His voice brought out a smile, invoking pleasant dreams in his napping companion.
Chapter 8:Friendly Advice
Lacus heard a knock on the door. "Coming!"
"Hello, Mrs. Yamato. May I impose on you for a few moments?"
"Good afternoon Juni. Please, just Lacus will be fine. Come in." She escorted Juni to their sitting room where their other company was speaking with Kira. It was Miriallia.
"Oh my. I didn't know you already had company. I'll come back later." Juni didn't want to intrude.
"It's fine. I was just leaving." Mir stood up, took a deep breath, and thanked the Yamatos for their hospitality before making her exit.
"Please have a seat. I'll go make some tea," Lacus disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Juni sitting with Kira.
They sat in silence until well after the three of them finished their first cup of tea. Lacus poured seconds.
Kira decided to initiate the inevitable conversation. "If there's something on your mind, now would be a good time to talk about it. The twins will wake up from their afternoon nap soon."
"Right. Sorry," Juni apologized. "If you don't have time, I can come back later." She was about to get up when Lacus motioned her to stay seated.
"Don't mind Kira. He can be impatient at times like these. But please, do tell us why you are here."
"Well, Dearka and I are planning to get married soon."
"This is good news," Lacus beamed. Actually, she had already heard it from Kira. It was also a subject that came up in conversation with Miriallia.
"Yes." Becoming more confident, she matched Lacus's smile. "Yes it is. I'm overjoyed."
Kira asked, "But there's a problem?"
"No. At least, I don't think so." Their warmth pervaded her, compelling her to speak freely. "Dearka and I were just visiting with Ms. Athha and Mr. Zala, discussing the arrangements. It seems Cagalli is excited about the prospect of being our wedding planner."
Kira laughed, "I'll bet she thinks of this as practice for her own wedding."
Juni giggled at the memory. "That's exactly what she said." After taking a sip of tea, she continued. "She also took me aside and asked that I come speak to you two first thing. So, here I am."
"It looks like your sister is hiring us out as relationship counselors now," Lacus took her husband's hand. She noted Juni's apologetic look. "Oh, we don't mind. It's just odd that everyone seems to come to us thinking we have all the answers."
"And I don't even know the questions," Juni frowned at her tea. It was good tea, but she needed something to frown at. Frowning at such kind hosts would be rude.
Lacus asked, "Perhaps she sent you to get a little pre-marriage advice?"
"Maybe so."
Kira asked, "How long have you known Dearka? Let's start with that."
"We served together before his capture by the Archangel; he as a pilot, I as a communications officer. I was transferred to the Joule Team when it was formed and saw Dearka again after the war. Then we both served under Yzak."
"Go on," Kira gently prodded her.
She was quite calm as she talked about it. It didn't bother her anymore. "Almost five years ago, a dear friend betrayed us and killed himself before he could be captured. He was someone I cared for very much; I was very close to him. Actually we were sort of an item, though very few knew about it. At least, that's what I thought we were. Perhaps it was all an act on his part, or maybe I was just fooling myself into think it was more than just friendship. He plotted to kill Yzak and Ailesa, and likely endangered Dearka on his mission in Onogoro. The four of us were friends and comrades but he threw all that away; threw me away like I was nothing. I was crushed, feeling worthless, but Dearka pulled me through it. I was able to return the favor nine months later. We've spent nearly every free moment together since then."
"How do you feel about him?"
"What can I say? He's everything to me. I owe him my life many times over. He saved me both on the battle field and off. We were just good friends at first. I'm not sure when it became more than that. A couple of years maybe? Anyway, we were very careful not to do anything inappropriate while still in ZAFT. Both to avoid hurting each other, and to avoid embarrassing Yzak. After being discharged, we starting seeing each other. Things progressed slowly at first, still playing things very cautiously. But the events of the past week are making my head spin."
It was Lacus's turn to ask the questions. "Is that alright?"
All the blood rushed to her face, blushing with the memories of the past several days. "Oh yes, very much so! It's like everything I ever wanted coming together all at once."
"Everything?"
"Yes, everything." She smiled at her tea this time. Beaming actually. Smiling seemed to make the tea taste even better. "I couldn't ask for anything more."
"Have you told him that?"
"Yes I have. Several times, in fact."
"How does he feel about you?" Lacus sipped her tea.
"He says he loves me, wants to protect me and take care of me."
"In those words?"
"Yes," she looked up at her hosts to see them smiling back at her.
Kira hated to be the bad guy, but this needed to be asked. It was something they all knew was in the back of her mind. "Are you afraid he'll leave you for Miriallia?"
Her blood turned to ice. She quickly lowered her head to stare at the now empty tea cup. "Yes," she said weakly. "I could live with him cheating on me. It would only confirm my suspicions that I'm not good enough. But I would die if he outright left me."
The mere thought of it brought her physical pain. Juni's trembling hands couldn't hold on to the fine cup and saucer. Clutching her chest she slumped forward, watching helplessly as the saucer rolled to Kira's foot. Is this a heart attack?
Kira handed her a tissue and Lacus put her arm around Juni. Lacus comforted her saying "Don't cry Juni. Of course you're good enough. Dearka wouldn't be with you if you weren't."
Kira followed his wife's lead. "I can't see him doing that, especially after seeing the two of you together. Everything will be just fine, you'll see. All you need is a little confidence in yourself." Seeing their guest starting to recover, Kira thought it time to lighten the mood again. "But there is one piece of advice we can give you."
Juni cocked her head. "What's that?"
Lacus answered, "Expect fights."
Kira joined in, "Lots of them, and about the stupidest things."
Lacus took over, "It'll be hard to deal with them at first, but they're necessary to any healthy relationship."
Kira gave his wife a mischievous grin, followed by a gentle squeeze to her backside. "And getting to make up is more than worth it."
"Kira Yamato!" Lacus blushed, turning a shade of pink that almost matched her hair.
Juni laughed at the two. It seemed their little exchange was aimed more at each other than to her. But it was good advice nonetheless. "Thanks you two. I feel much better now." She arose to leave. "Would you be so kind as to talk with Dearka as well?"
Kira answered, "I already have. He had trouble sleeping the first night on Rev. Malchio's island. If I hadn't had a talk with him he would been up all night fidgeting."
She was suddenly all nervous. "Did he say anything?"
"He said quite a lot, but don't look so worried. My conversation with him was much like ours today." Kira finished his tea. "He was only concerned about not meeting your expectations. I imagine the reason your relationship had moved so slowly was because he was so gun shy. He still is, but he wants very much to make you happy."
Placing his hand on her shoulder, he took that serious tone from the other day. "There is one thing more you should know. He still cares a great deal for Miriallia, but he loves you and you alone. Don't be her adversary. You'll only make things difficult for yourself. They were friends once, and would like to be again. For all our sakes, please don't get in the way of that."
Juni nodded in understanding.
Outside she enjoyed the crisp wind coming off the ocean. It was fast approaching dinner time. She would be meeting Dearka a few blocks away at a restaurant shortly. It was fast becoming their favorite restaurant; the one with the spectacular view.
"He wants to make me happy," she said to herself. "Funny, all I want is to make him happy."
Chapter 9:Best Wishes
December tenth was the big day. As it approached, everyone became more nervous. Everyone but Dearka and Juni, that is. They were calm. This was what they wanted for each other, the life they had chosen together. There was no reason for them to be nervous.
They found a nice home a couple blocks from the Yamato family. It was small, but comfortable. With their veteran pensions, they would have enough to live on the rest of their lives without working. ZAFT paid its soldiers well. At least for those few that survived long enough to retire.
Neither of them had any living relatives. All the family they had was this small circle of friends. Cagalli volunteered herself and Athrun to give away the bride. Kira and Lacus sat as the family of the groom. Yzak served as the best man, Ailesa as the maid of honor. No one gave any thought to their wedding photographer, which suited her just fine. She didn't want to get in the way.
Cagalli went all out for this, paying for some of the expenses herself. She wanted their wedding to be perfect, but she didn't want it to bankrupt the couple either. The colors were red and gold, with a light splash of green in strategic locations. Cagalli thought it fit the holiday season well. This would serve as the trial run for her own wedding in a couple of short weeks, only this one had a much smaller guest list. Dearka and Juni were lucky. They didn't have to put up with foreign dignitaries and politicians trying to ruin their special day.
As a wedding gift, Cagalli would give the couple use of her private cottage up the coast. It was the perfect place for a honeymoon. They would have two weeks of blissful solitude before coming back for the Zala-Athha wedding. Cagalli offered them the use of the place for another week, but they declined. The couple insisted on being a part of Zala-Athha wedding, if only to help keep the politicians at bay. Besides, where would Athrun and Cagalli stay for their honeymoon?
And due to her eavesdropping, Cagalli had another gift for the newlyweds. Sort of a gag gift concerning something she once overheard Dearka call his fiancée, but Cagalli knew they would put it to very good use. It was a revealing lingerie set; black with cat ears and a tail. This kind of gift would have been more appropriate at a bridal shower. Unfortunately, time constraints prevented them from having one before the wedding. The set was already neatly wrapped and waiting for them on the master bed in the cottage. Cagalli's only regret was that she wouldn't be there to see the look on their faces when they opened it tonight.
The reception was as spectacular as the wedding itself. They used the grand ballroom of Cagalli's palatial estate, though only a few dozen guests were in attendance. Most of those were the surviving participants of the Three Ship Alliance that had sought refuge in Orb. Dearka only knew a few of them by name. Juni knew none.
They waited until the reception to do the tossing. Cagalli caught the bouquet by knocking a few people out of her way. She demanded that Athrun do the same when Dearka threw the garter, but common sense and courtesy got the better of him. Sai was the lucky recipient, as it landed squarely on his face. Of course, Athrun incurred the wrath of his fiancée for his disobedience. It was clearly intentional, starting another round for their favorite little game.
As per tradition, the happy couple cut the cake and fed each other. And also true to tradition, they each made sure to smear a little icing on the other's face.
The first dance was for them alone. They couldn't hear the music or the chatter of the guests. They didn't see the spotlights, or the people that encircled them from a distance, or even the marble floor inlaid with gold under their feet. In their minds they were content to be alone. The crowd cheered each time they kissed, but they didn't notice that either.
When they finally looked up, the first song was long over. Others had come onto the dance floor, seeking their share of fun too. The newlyweds made their way to the refreshment table to take a seat. They had been standing for well over two hours now.
A figure walked out to them, carefully making their way through the crowded dance floor. "May I have this dance?"
It was Miriallia.
Dearka was unsure of what to do, but Juni nodded in acceptance. She would follow the advice of Kira and Lacus. For now, at least.
A hush fell over the guests, who parted as they took the floor. Juni was a little annoyed that they would clear the floor and be so quiet for Mir.
Then she saw why. All eyes were glued to the dancing couple. Miriallia had her head on Dearka's right shoulder as they danced. On the other side, each held a hand of their little boy. This was the first time any of the guests had seen the child, and it was obvious to whom he belonged.
It was a very poignant scene for all who knew Dearka and Miriallia. Many actually cried, finally understanding all that had transpired between the two. It was clear that they once loved each other very much. And it was also clear she kept the child a secret from him after their painful separation. Now their differences would be settled, coming full-circle back to friends.
A tap from behind startled Juni. Turning, Kira and Lacus placed two gifts in her hands. "You'll want to open these," he told her.
She unwrapped two very large and heavy books. Scrap books, both white. One inlaid with gold, one with silver. The first was a wedding album with a note on the first page. It read, Be patient. The pictures will come shortly. Sure enough, there wasn't a single picture inside, just lovingly crafted decorations on every page. It's design was well thought out. All that would need to be done is insert the pictures once they were developed.
The second book was the one of real interest. In it were equally detailed pages, but these had pictures. Pictures of her and Dearka. Everywhere they had gone, everything they had done over the past two months was recorded here. She flipped from back to front, wondering if there was any moment their stalker had missed. No, it was all there. Them sitting on a park bench, eating at a restaurant, walking down the sidewalk laughing. All of it in chronological order, hundreds of pictures worth. And on the very first page was the title heading Autumn in Onogoro. Under it were pictures of Dearka spinning her in the air, leaves swirling around them. A memory that would last her a lifetime.
The note in this one was placed on the inner cover. I thought it would be a shame not to capture these special memories. Below, there was another line. It was penned later, hastily scribbled. The author's tear drops had smudged the fine ink but it was still legible. Please take good care of them for me. Removing the note revealed an inscription of inlaid silver to match the cover:
To my very best friend, best
wishes always.
Love, Miriallia.
When she looked up, Dearka was coming back carrying little Tolle. Miriallia was now dancing with Sai off in the distance, near Murrue and Andy. Juni could see it so clearly now. The pictures were Mir's way of checking her out, making sure she was fit for the upcoming task. The dance was Mir's way of breaking with the past before giving Dearka and little Tolle over to her care.
Dearka asked, "Everything alright?" He sat beside her, wiping away the tears she didn't know she had been shedding.
She nodded.
Lacus came to take little Tolle to play with Uzumi and Lenore. Yzak and Ailesa were keeping the children company. Dearka looked on the scene with some amusement, "Will wonders never cease. To think Yzak would actually be good with kids."
The comment drew a weak giggle from Juni. She turned his face toward his. She apologized. "You know I'm too needy, too dependent." And you know I'll die if you break my heart.
"Silly girl." He picked her up and spun around with her, much like on that autumn day. Deftly maneuvering her into his lap as he retook his seat, Dearka reiterated his love for his Juni. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe I need you too?"
"But I justify my very existence by your approval."
"And I justify mine by taking care of you. As much as you need me, I want to be needed by you. Juni, you're perfect. I wouldn't change a thing about you."
To keep her from responding, Dearka gave her lips something better to do. The guests cheered. They took no notice.
He continued, "For a long while I thought something was missing from my life. It took coming here to realize what I was missing was right in front of me the whole time. Now I am complete."
In unison the newlyweds looked on as their son played with his new friends. Juni smiled. Yes. He is now my son, too. "I think we're all complete," she told her husband.
Seeing them kiss again, the guests cheered and clapped one final time. And again the couple took no notice.
Wiping away a fresh set of tears Dearka asked, "Are you sure everything is alright?"
"No, it's better than alright. And if you hold me, it'll be perfect."
He granted her wish. "Will you be mad if I never let go?"
She shook her head. "That would make it better than perfect."
Epilogue: All These Friends and Lovers
"Happy birthday!"
All of them made it this time, but for someone else's party. Little Tolle had turned four at 11:38 am on June 16th, CE 77. Their cozy little home was just big enough to accommodate all the guests.
Yzak and Ailesa were in attendance. Yzak used his influence on the Council to become the official PLANT ambassador to Orb. Now that all his friends were here, this is where he felt he could be of most use. Both to the PLANTs and to Ailesa. Who's kids would she play with in the colonies?
The guys went off to Dearka's workshop to talk about tools, how crazy women are, and other odd topics. He had decided to turn his hobby of woodworking into a small business. His work was impressive, as he put all his creative passion into the delicate carvings. Much the way he did with a gift he once made for a special friend. He didn't know it, but that friend still cherished the gift.
The girls were sharing cake and coffee around a sizable party table while watching the children play. All of the girls. Even Miriallia, who had become uneasy friends with Juni. At first Juni only tolerated her for everyone else's sake, but she slowly began to accept her in time.
Perhaps it was due to Juni's ever-increasing self confidence. She no longer lived in terror of losing Dearka, and had learned to live for herself as well as her husband and son. Juni was still needy and clung to her husband, but such had become their routine. They were quite content with the arrangement. It didn't take long for her to realize that he really would do anything to make her happy, much as she had always done for him.
Sometimes Dearka would joke that their arrangement gave Juni an unfair advantage in arguments. Kira and Lacus were quite right when they told her to expect fights. Each time Juni would cry. Each time Dearka would eventually apologize, whether or not he was actually at fault. And each time she made sure that Dearka found making up more than worth it.
"So, how did you like our wedding gift?" Cagalli liked to ask that question. It always turned Juni's face cherry red.
"Very much," she managed to stammer.
"I bet you still use it all the time." Cagalli wasn't going to give up until she finally got all the gory details, from the foreplay to the cuddling afterward.
"Yes, often. We like it very much. Thank you for the kind gift." Juni was terribly embarrassed, as always.
Lacus asked, "So what is this mystery gift that you keep bringing up?" It was up to her to be the brave one. After six months of witnessing this exact exchange being repeated, the others were all curious about the inside joke but didn't want to pry. Instead, they very much wanted Lacus to pry on their behalf.
"If you don't tell them, I'll show them," Cagalli threatened.
"Please don't!"
Laughing, she darted off before Juni could catch her. Even Coordinator reflexes couldn't stop Cagalli from making mischief. The rest followed, slowing Juni down just long enough for Cagalli to rummage through their hostess's things and find the buried treasure.
"Here it is!" Cagalli held it up triumphantly. Something black. Something naughty.
"Oh my," Lacus gasped.
"How kinky," Ailesa whispered. "I didn't know you two were in to that."
Murrue tried hard not to laugh. Miriallia just smiled.
"Oh, wait. What's this?" Cagalli pulled out another just like it. This one a shade of deep blue that Dearka found mesmerizing. "You bought another one?"
Juni covered her face. If any more blood rushed to it she would pass out.
"Don't worry about it." Cagalli put the forbidden items back in the drawer. The scene over, the girls made their way back to the table. It took several minutes before Juni's face returned to its natural color.
"Dearka really likes it, I'm sure." Murrue was ever the more mature one, being five or six years their senior. They didn't really know her age, to be honest. They didn't want to ask. It took quite a long time for them to make her feel comfortable hanging out with a younger group.
Juni pleaded, "Can we please change the subject?"
"No," the others answered in unison.
"Well, I think it's a good gift." Ailesa tried to back up Cagalli while instilling a little confidence in the quiet Juni.
"Yes. I agree." They were all a little surprised that Mir would say such a thing, given past events. "What? Can't I have an opinion?"
Ailesa, having given up on helping Juni, decided to work with Cagalli and see just how red they could make their hostess yet again. "Well, judging by how often Yzak and I heard you two in the hotel, I'm sure you really do get a lot of use out of it."
"Really? How often was that? I want details." If Cagalli couldn't get the information from Juni herself, she would get it from Juni's best friend.
Seeing Juni's distress, it was time for Lacus to intervene. "I wonder if Kira would like me to get one of those?" The others almost fell out of their chairs in shock. Prim and proper little Lacus, thinking such thoughts. And not just thinking them, but saying them aloud! "What? We do that too, you know." She calmly took a sip of her coffee.
"Yeah well, we kind of figured." Cagalli pointed a thumb at the twins.
"It's just that you never talk about such things," Murrue tried to explain. Their girl talk often involved such intimate subjects, but this was the first time Lacus participated to any significant degree. That is, when she wasn't being asked for advice.
"I'll have you know that Kira and I have a very wonderful private life, whether we talk about it or not. And since our doctor says I'm unable to have any more children, we go at it quite often thank you. I would like to do it several times a day but I'm afraid that I would break poor Kira in half." She finished her coffee with a smile, noting that her friends had to pick their chins up off the floor.
Lacus was teasing them of course but, truth be known, she wasn't exaggerating by much. Six years of marriage and they still acted like newlyweds when alone. The only trick was actually getting to be alone, which did not happen as often as they would like. She gave Juni a knowing smile. It seems us quiet girls really do have more fun, she thought.
After giving her friends a few moments to collect themselves, Lacus continued thinking aloud. "Hmm. Not black of course. It's not my color." She tried to pull their hostess back into the conversation by asking her, "What do you think of pink and purple? Would that work just as well?"
Ailesa chuckled, "Are those the only two colors you wear?"
"Actually, yes they are." Lacus was quite proud of her choices in fashion. Many things clashed with her unusual hair color. It wasn't easy being a pink-haired princess.
Coming to her sister-in-law's aid, "Well, I can tell you that Athrun really likes my red one."
"Cagalli, you too?" Murrue felt like she was being left behind in this discussion. But if it worked for these youngsters, maybe it would work on Andy as well. She made a mental note to look into that later.
"Of course. I decided to try it out on Athrun before giving one to Juni." She leaned forward to add a little emphasis. "And he really, really liked it. A lot."
"I could see Yzak liking one, but it wouldn't last very long the way we do things." It was Ailesa's turn to think about it. Heck, everyone else was fantasizing so why not her too? "We're both a little aggressive," she admitted, and not without some measure of pride.
Their discussion was interrupted by the birthday boy.
"Juni! Look what I did!" Little Tolle ran up to hand her a coloring book.
"That's beautiful, Tolle. You're turning into quite the little artist. Just like your father." She hugged the boy and kissed him on the head. He still couldn't quite stay within the lines, but he was improving rapidly. This time it was a tree by a lake, with a flock of birds flying in the sky.
Having won her approval, little Tolle ran back to the twins grinning with delight.
Miriallia asked, "He still doesn't call you mom?"
"No. I asked him not to. It would only confuse him." They could all see a hint of sadness in her raven-colored eyes. Not long after their honeymoon, a gynecologist confirmed her worst fears. She was one of the many third-generation Coordinators that would never be able to bear children. It was either confuse her adopted son by pressing two mothers on him, or never hear a loving child call him mom. She chose the more important of the two: the sanity of her little Tolle.
"I'm sorry Juni," Mir apologized.
Juni sighed. "It's alright. How do you explain to a four-year-old that he has two mothers? It'll be just as bad when he starts school. I just know he'll come home one day asking why his mother doesn't live with his father."
Miriallia hugged the mother of her son, both fighting back tears. The mother of my son, she thought. Mir knew from the beginning she could never really be his mother, just the woman who gave birth to him. But little Tolle still knew her as 'mommy.' It was painful to hold on to that little slice of him that was still hers, and it would be just as painful to let it go. Deep down Mir knew this situation was just as agonizing as Juni's.
"It's fine, really." As Juni finished her coffee, she decided to take control over the conversation. "Tell me Mir, how are you and Sai getting along?" She smiled knowing Mir wouldn't expect that question, especially coming from her.
They could all see that Sai and Mir had gotten closer now that old issues were settled, but Mir was a little hard to read when it came to that.
"Just fine. Actually, quite well. He proposed to me the other day." Poking Murrue in the ribs, she said with a wink, "If you don't hurry up you'll be the old maid of the group." They all got a good laugh out of that, even Murrue.
Everyone noticed Mir wasn't wearing a ring. "Was he prepared?" Juni asked. It didn't seem like Sai to be as spontaneous as Dearka had been with her. Surely he would plan ahead for such an event.
Mir saw the attention her naked finger was getting. "Oh, he had a ring alright. I just told him I'd have to think about it."
Lacus inquired, "Don't you want to?"
"Of course I do. I just want to make him sweat first; see how much he wants it."
Cagalli was a jokester too, but this was beyond her boundaries. "Don't you think that's a little mean?"
"A little. But I want to know something first."
"What's that?"
"I want to know if he feels the same about me as I do about him." Mir almost blushed, momentarily revealing her innermost thoughts.
Lacus posed the obvious question, "Why don't you just ask him?"
Sai quietly entered the room behind Mir and Juni, so the two didn't notice him pouring a cup of coffee for himself.
"That'd be too easy. But don't worry. He'll have his answer today." Mir began to help Juni clear the table. She leaned toward Cagalli, "And if you decide to get me one of those cat outfits, you'd better make it orange."
It took all their self control not to laugh as Sai approached behind Miriallia. He heard those last few comments and seemed to know exactly what they were talking about. Whatever he was going to say, they knew it would turn Mir red as a beet.
Adjusting his glasses, he requested "Orange with yellow stripes, please. Like a tabby."
Meow.
atto terzo
-fin-
A/N
Again, sorry to all you DxM fans out there. It was either do this, or kill somebody off.
This won the coin toss.
If you're wondering why this is the T-rated version, it's because I originally went a bit overboard with the love scene in chapter 5 but for two purposes. (1) I thought it critical to show Juni's complete dependence on Dearka and exactly how far she would go for him. After Reiki's betrayal of her (not to mention everybody else), what self esteem (relationship wise) she had managed to rebuild was solely due to Dearka's care. At that point in the story she doesn't quite know how to be her own person yet, seeing herself merely as Dearka's personal possession.
(2) And, in a more subtle way, I also wanted to show that dependence was exactly what Dearka was looking for. Not to keep her down or anything so malevolent, but he just wanted someone to need him. I always envisioned Dearka wanting to be there for Miriallia in much that way, but she seems much too independent and strong-willed to fulfill that role (she was clearly in the driver's seat in the DxM relationship, at least in the first two acts).
And I also wanted the chance to make comparisons between Dearka and Juni's coming together and Dearka and Miriallia's failed attempt at it. In both, there was one who was very vulnerable and overeager to please their partner. But in one instance, the vulnerable one was rejected in the end.
Next I'm thinking of some AxC or some more YxOC, with a little political espionage thriller type thing.
At the moment however, I'm working on a completely new fic (with some DxM, for all us DxM fans out there). A masterwork, for which I have no name yet. It'll have the same starting point (Jachine Diue) but go off in a completely new direction. This time I won't write myself into a corner trying to make it fit with what little I know of Destiny.
