Oh, how I wish these characters are mine, but they're not. Craig Bartlett's the lucky stiff.
Rated R for adult situations and language. Lemme know whatcha think!
5 Corvus
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Nude, I stood before the full length mirror in my closet.
Once, this tiny space held the expression of my love for him; now, a tiny space within me holds his expression of his love for me. I can't stop stroking my belly. It's way too early, but I long for some sensation of our child within me. I try to imagine my breasts expanding, the smooth, round curve of my full belly, him standing behind me...
My first bout of morning sickness was every bit as bad as I'd imagined it would be. For several years now, I'd taken over half of the cooking duties in the Pataki household, and as such made sure we ate well. I was just beginning to savor the praise from Big Bob and Miriam over my eggs benedict, when I was hit with a sensation not unlike dry swallowing an ocelot.
Excusing myself with the casual quip of "Dear God, Help me!", I sprinted for the downstairs bathroom. I blew chunks like an Irish soccer hooligan, and not content to merely empty my stomach, I endured several dry heaves for good measure. I needed to get on top of this.
Dressing, I called Sheena's cell number.
Phoebe and Sheena were the greatest; genuine concern and consideration for my...OUR situation. All that evening after dinner, we debated, suggested, fought, cried, planned and schemed. Adoption was contenplated but rejected, and they knew me well enough to not even bother bringing up the specter of abortion. As 9:00 PM approached, I made the decision to tell Arnold. They exited, promising to call me.
My laptop up and running, I signed online...
"You have an Instant Message from footballhead69 Do you accept?"
I took a deep breath, and hit yes.
footballhead69 (9:01 PM) : Hey beautiful!
theonlypataki (9:01 PM) : Hi
footballhead69 (9:01 PM) : How was your day?
theonlypataki (9:03 PM) : fine
footballhead69 (9:03 PM) : are you sure? Everything ok?
theonlypataki (9:08 PM) : I'm pregnant.
footballhead69 (9:10 PM) : are you sure?
theonlypataki (9:10 PM) : yes
footballhead69 (9:11 PM) : are you okay?
theonlypataki (9:12 PM) : I'm nervous, but ok.
footballhead69 (9:18 PM) : Have you seen a docter?
theonlypataki (9:18 PM) : No, but I will tomorrow.
footballhead69 (9:23 PM) : I'm coming up there theonlypataki (9:23 PM) : NO, DON'T! Just come on Friday like always.
theonlypataki (9:34 PM) : Arnold, are you there?
theonlypataki (9:51 PM) : Arnold?
theonlypataki (10:09 PM) : Arnold?
sign off
He arrived at 11:00 PM, and looked like he'd been shot from a circus cannon. Big Bob, though suprised, didn't seem mind Arnold arriving a day earlier than he usually did, and I convinced him to let Arnold sleep in my room on the roll away cot. Putting on as casual an act as we could, I helped Arnold carry his bag up to my room.
As the door closed, he opened up with a barrage of questions like the USS IOWA. I motioned for him to be quiet. We made small talk as I set up the cot. After about an hour, when I was sure Bob and Miriam were down for the night, took Arnold's hand, and led him into my closet, where I hugged him furiously, then kissed him long and hard.
Finally, we sat on a stack of winter blankets and had a real talk.
"I'm going with you tomorrow." he said. I wouldn't have expected anything less from him.
Even in a crisis, he looked gorgeous.
Clearing his throat, he asked "Now,... what do you want to do? We're in this together, but the ball's in your court. Whatever you decide, I'm there."
You see why I love this guy?
Snuggling in close to him, I said "I'm keeping our baby, if that's what you mean." Appearantly, this was the correct answer, since he sprouted a grin so big, I thought his ears would pop off. He then cradled me in his arms, and looked as though he was starting to tear up. Placing my hands on his cheeks I said, "Hey now, none of that. I've done enough crying for both of us." This just made him hug me harder.
Finally, we agreed that we needed to get to sleep. I steered him away from the cot, and to my bed, though he seemed sceptical. Smiling, I slowly undressed for him, inviting him to help, then slipped on my nightshirt. Down to his boxers, he slipped under the covers with me. As he wrapped his body around mine the feeling of his heartbeat rang through me and the soft, easy rhythm of his breathing was the perfect lullabye...
To Be Continued...
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King Cheetah Extra
Beer, Bras, and Garage Bands
Looking over the polls in this group, I was at first rather surprised by what I was seeing, but upon reflection I guess I shouldn't be. Just take a look around and you'll quickly see that the vast majority of HA! fics are of the characters as adults or teenagers. That said, if you're going to bug Nickelodeon about doing another HA! related show, this might be the tact to take. After Rugrats ran out of steam (and that's putting it mildly), Nick played the teen card, and all things considered, ALL GROWN UP isn't too bad.
So that said, how should teen versions of the HA! characters be handled in fanfic or a new show? Weeeeeellllllllllllll...
1) Telling tales outta school...
One of the big advantages of fanfic is that it TRULY allows you to use your imagination with the characters, where as a TV version of HA! All Grown Up would have to comply with the unending series of memos coming out of Network Standards and Practices. You'd either need to couch "controversial subjects" in odd, vague terms, or just not address them directly (i.e. Miriam Pataki's alcoholism).
As much fun as it is to have Arnold looking down Helga's shirt or Phoebe getting shit-faced drunk at Iggy's party in your fanfic, that sort of thing won't make it onto Nick (though one does marvel at the naughty jokes that DID make it into the regular series...). Drug usage, drinking, sex (or for that matter even just necking), teen pregnancy, or real violence are right out too. Like the regular series, you'll have to have romance, but even that'll be handled pretty gingerly.
2) "Quit staring at my boobs, Football Head!"
So then, what DO you do for stories? Remember, once you hit high school, it's all about connecting. Getting into clubs, being cool, mackin' on the chicks, sports, getting the right social connections, going to parties, counting the day til you get your license, stuff like that. Depending on how kind or cruel puberty has been with our cast, the stories will pretty much come from just the day to day adventure they'll have (much like the regular show).
If you think about it, HA! only has one major plot hook, that being Helga's crush on Arnold, other than that, it's just forth graders being forth graders. You could do the same sort of thing here, but with a twist or two. For example, I'm currently working on a little something along these lines, but the situation is reversed. Helga Pataki, like Olga before her is pretty, popular, and an academic dynamo, with Arnold spending most of his time trying to get her attention. While Helga likes Arnold (but not "Like likes"), she doesn't take him seriously. Each day is a new trick on his part to impress her (with some success).
Plenty of other variations on this are possible.
3) "Best friends forever... or until sophomore year..."
Sadly, many friendships DON'T last forever; it's just the nature of things. As you grow and change, you're interests and attitudes change too, oft influencing who you gravitate too in social situations, and the HA! cast will probably be no exception. Just a personal note, but I see several relationships in HA! that I think are doomed; Gerald/Phoebe, Rhonda/Nadine, Stinky and Sid/Harold, Sheena/Eugene. No biggie though.
Just because they don't hang together doesn't mean they're bitter enemies. I could see Gerald becoming more of a jock (like Jamie O), and hanging more with the other jocks. Rhonda will start her accession to social divadom, which one can see Nadine having little interest in, and with Eugene hanging out with all the... "like minded young gentlemen" of the theater art department, Sheena might look for other extra curricular activities to occupy her time.
For my own purposes, I like to shake things up a bit, but not to the point of devastation. Helga and her best friend Lila fight to get onto the school newspaper and/or yearbook committee, while Phoebe, Nadine, and Katrinka tear up the soccer field. Gerald works overtime to keep his grade point average up to stay on the school baseball team, while Arnold, Sid and Park desperately try to find a drummer for their garage band (eventually getting Sheena). Rhonda, two years from cheerleader tryouts, lays the groundwork by brown nosing upper classmen, as Stinky runs for Student council.
Trust me, it works.
So there you have it, a few random thought on HA! All Grown Up.
Anyone have any ideas along these line?
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