Chapter 9 – The Battle of Geonosis
So, as we left off, Homestar, Marizpan, and Strong Bad just avoided execution from Trogdor, S is for Sucks Dragon, and Kerrek, only to be ready to be executed by droidekas, droids with shields. In a corridor of the colisseum, Strong Mad made his way to the archducal box. As he arrived in the archducal box, he punched Zee-Gee-Oh and ignited his purple-bladed lightsaber and held it in front of Stinkoman's neck. Smart move, I have to say. Smarter than what Mace Windu himself did.
"Master Strong Mad," Zee-Gee-Oh said, nursing the bruise Strong Mad gave him as he stood up, "How pleasant of you to join us."
"THIS PARTY'S OVER!" shouted Strong Mad.
Suddenly, all over the Colosseum, Jedi Knights (some from the Jedi Council, and that includes Wheelchair, who can use a lightsaber) ignited their blue and green lightsabers. There were like a hundred of Jedi Knights around the arena.
"Brave, but foolish, my, er… Jedi friend. You're still outnumbered," remarked Zee-Gee-Oh.
"WE'LL WIN!" shouted Strong Mad.
Suddenly, super battle droids walked towards the archducal box and shot at Strong Mad using the guns which were their right hands. Strong Mad used his lightsaber excellently to deflect the shots. He is the second best Jedi Master, since he sits next to Pom-Pom. Stinkoman used his armor flamethrower to shoot fire at Strong Mad, who jumped off the archducal box and into the arena, where the Jedis were using their lightsabers to deflect shots from the army of battle droids and super battle droids that just arrived. They were also destroying the droids. While most Fhqwhgads ran away, some used their bazookas to attack the Jedi.
Two Jedis threw their spare lightsabers at Homestar and Strong Bad. Homestar used his blue-bladed lightsaber to free the three from their manacles as Strong Bad lit his green-bladed lightsaber. Then the three jumped off Trogdor while Marzipan picked up a blaster dropped by a destroyed droid and began helping out in the battle against the droids.
The Jedis and Marzipan were slicing/blasting battle droids, super battle droids, and some Fhqwhgads using bazookas. Strong Mad and Strong Bad were deflecting laser blasts and destroying droids with their lightsabers like a team, or tag-team, seroiusly. Strong Mad punched some battle droids to destroy them (the super battle droids were too armored to be punched and destroyed, unfortunately). But, there were Jedis who were killed by droids and Fhqwhgads. One Jedi attempted to attack Zee-Gee-Oh in the archducal box, but Stinkoman used his blaster to kill the Jedi.
Meanwhile, more droids entered the battle. One of the groups of droids entering the battle was the droid with Strong Sad's head.
"What's going on? A battle? This is just a perfect way for me to die," said Strong Sad's head with depression while some battle droids looked at the weird droid.
Another group of droids had the droid with Strong Sad's body.
"Crap, this body sucks. I demand a better body!" complained the droid head.
Marzipan and Homestar were riding on a cart, destroying droids. However, a blast made the cart topple, but the two continued fighting droids.
"Nice diplomatic solution!" said Homestar, remembering their conversation before they went into the droid factory.
"Thanks, but this is more like an aggressive negotiation," replied Marzipan.
"What's that?" asked Homestar.
In the battle…
"Die Jedi! Die!" shouted Strong Sad's head, "Wait, what am I saying? Oh well, at least I won't be the only one dead today."
The droid with Strong Sad's body had its droid head chopped off by a Jedi. Stinkoman decided to join the battle and began attacking Strong Mad. However, Trogdor came and trampled Stinkoman. His armor saved him. So, Stinkoman shot lasers at Trogdor.
"All right! All right!" shouted Trogdor, "I'll fly away and never bother you again, since I'm invincible. I'll go back to Peasantry," said Trogdor as he flew away from Geonosis and had a happy life burninating and squishing the best peasants and knights he ever could burninate and squish.
Then Strong Mad and Stinkoman fought each other. Strong Mad slashed with his lightsaber fiercely and eventually chopped off a part of Stinkoman's armor.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAA! How dare you destroy my armor! Single deuce!" screamed Stinkoman.
Then Stinkoman shot himself at Strong Mad with a large, rocky fist that he somehow got immediately. He was prepared to punch Strong Mad in the face when another rocky fist identical to the one Stinkoman was using crushed Stinkoman to death, minus his rocky fist. Then Strong Mad looked above to see a ship with Tampo (still a brain), Brody, Stlunko (who got his fists back), and the newest addition, Saargtsson.
"Hooray! We've defeated Stinkoman!" shouted Tampo.
"We made him pay for everything!" shouted Brody.
"And I got my fists back," added Stlunko.
"Sss, and I made him pay for using me as an object to break your fist," hissed Saargtsson.
"Then how did I get both of my fists back intact?" asked Stlunko when suddenly, the fist Stlunko got back cracked in half, "D'oh!"
"So, what should we do now?" asked Tampo.
"I don't know. Since we've won, there's nothing for us to do in life but..." began Stlunko when the combined power of lasers from droids, super battle droids, and bazookas from the Fhqwhgads destroyed the ship, killing the three bosses.
In thecolisseum, the battle raged on, but there was sadness in the archducal box.
"Oh man! Stinkoman's dead!" exclaimed 1-Up from the archducal box.
Strong Bad encountered the S is for Sucks Dragon again. Using his lightsaber, he chopped off both of the dragon's legs and then stabbed the dragon, killing the stupid dragon.
"I'm so sorry about this, but you all have to die someday!" shouted Strong Sad's head as he inevitably shot at Jedis.
Finally, one Jedi put Strong Sad out of his misery by using the Force on him to make the droid body short out and fall. To add to his new misery of not being able to move, a fallen super battle droid fell on Strong Sad's droid body.
"Um, can you get up? Oh, you're dead. I guess I'll wait here, forever. At least I won't die fat," said Strong Sad.
(Rim shot that sounds distorted with no spirit)
However, Homsar came and used some string to wrench Strong Sad's head off the droid.
"Ouch! You're doing it too hard! This is a really bad drag, you know?" asked Strong Sad's head as his head was dragged by Homsar, not being harmed by any laser.
Then Homsar came to Strong Sad's body and somehow put Strong Sad's head back on.
Finally, twenty or so remaining Jedi and Marzipan were surrounded by droids while fighting. The arena was filled with dead Jedi, destroyed droids, and dead Fhqwhgads. The survivors included Homestar, Strong Bad, Marzipan, Wheelchair, Pan-Pan, Strong Mad, and some other Jedi.
Finally, Zee-Gee-Oh raised his hand to make the droids lower their weapons and stop the fighting.
"Master Strong Mad!" shouted Zee-Gee-Oh, "You have fought gallantly. Worthy of recognition in the history archives of the Jedi Order! Now it is finished. Surrender, and your lives will be spared."
With his hands on his hips, he shouted like a wannabe superhero, "NEVAAAAAARRRRR!"
"Then, I'm sorry, er, friend, you're going to die," said Zee-Gee-Oh as the droids raised their weapons.
The Jedi and Marzipan got their weapons ready. Suddenly, Marzipan looked up at the sky and said, "Look!"
"Oh nice try, like I'm going to fall for 'the look up there trick while you destroy all the droids'... trick," said Zee-Gee-Oh before seeing everybody else (including the droids) were looking up, "Oh well, I'll look up."
Above, six Clone ships arrived. The ships shot lasers at the droids firing at them. From the ships, clone troopers of Kamino were shooting at the droids. One ship contained Pom-Pom.
"Around the survivors, a perimeter create," Pom-Pom bubbled.
"Yes Master Pom-Pom, the droids created a perimeter around the survivors," replied the leading clone trooper of the ships.
"Around the survivors, a perimeter create," Pom-Pom bubbled a bit more angrily.
"Yes, and they did," replied the clone trooper.
"Just make a stupid circle around the survivors!" Pom-Pom bubbled angrily, losing it.
"Oh! Why didn't you say so?" asked the clone trooper.
Then the ships surrounded the Jedi and Marzipan as they got onto the ships. Then the Clone ships flew away as the droids went away as well, and started the opening battle to the Clone Wars.
Meanwhile, Strong Sad woke up with Homsar sitting next to him.
"Wow, I had a very weird nightmare worse than my other nightmares, for it was real, was it?" asked Strong Sad.
Meanwhile, 1-Up picked up Stinkoman's helmet in sadness that The Guy died.
In the terrain outside the Colosseum, the Clone ships were flying towards the Trade Federation ships. One Clone ship close to the one Strong Bad, Homestar, Marzipan, Pom-Pom, Wheelchair, and Strong Mad and two other Jedi were on was blasted by the enemy force. They were flying towards an important enemy ship/tower.
"Shoot at the small pawt!" ordered Homestar.
The Clone ship shot missiles at the small part of the ship/tower, making it fall on some droids and their accessories.
"Whoa, another point for you," commented Strong Bad.
"FLY TO WAR!" shouted Strong Mad.
"Okay, that's what we're doing!" replied the clone pilot.
Then Pom-Pom talked to the Jedi.
"Capture Zee-Gee-Oh, we must. If escapes he does, rally more systems to his cause he will," Pom-Pom bubbled.
And the Clone ship landed in a battle area. Strong Mad, Wheelchair, and the two other Jedi exited the ship and began to battle the droids. The Clone ship flew away. Pom-Pom went into another Clone ship and went to the Clone Forward Command Center.
In the Geonosian Command Center, Blue Laser, his minion, Zee-Gee-Oh, and Fhqwhgads the Lesser met.
"All communications are jammed. We're under attack," said Fhqwhgads the Lesser.
"HOW THE CRAP DID THE JEDI MAKE A HUGE ARMY?" asked Blue Laser.
"Where the crap did the Jedis get the army? That's not fair," said Zee-Gee-Oh.
"SEND THE DROIDS TO KILL THE ARMY!" shouted Blue Laser.
"That's not possible. There are too many clones for the droids to handle," said Zee-Gee-Oh.
TO BE CONTINUED...
