Disclamer: Of course I own it! I own it all! Muahahahhahaha! (is dragged off by copyright lawyers) I'm editing Naomi. I hate bag-pipes too. Of course, I could use them to take over the world...ow. I think I pulled an insanity musle in my brain.


Jack was not happy. It's not easy to be happy to be trapped on an island in the middle of nowhere by someone you killed…mostly. Yep, return of Cap'n Bo-bo (a new and exciting name for Barbosa). Turns-out he decided that the evil monkey, Jack (here-on known as evil-stupid-monkey-thing) gave Barbosa a piece of the cursed Aztec gold. Barbosa is now reliving his nightmare, but he swore that Jack would too. (Hence the whole marooned-on-a-gawd-forsaken-island fiasco.) As I was saying, Jack was just contemplating the irony of it all (the rum was gone) when he saw a ship. He ran over in his rock star-like gait.

"Hello! O'er here!" Jack was in total ecstasy seeing the pirate flag. It wasn't his ship and it wasn't Anne-Marie's, but hey, it couldn't be Barbosa. Barbosa wasn't coming back. He had some twisted revenge plot or something to attend to, which, at the current moment, wasn't Jack's problem. "Mate!"

A blond man stepped of the ship. He looked like a pirate, and he wasn't Norrington or Barbosa. (I have this weird feeling you already know.)

"I am the Dread Pirate Roberts."

Jack drew himself up to his drunken height (nearly six foot and lopsided). "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Captain?"

"Yes, captain."

"You have no ship."

"I know that."

"So you aren't really a Captain."

"Oh, I'm a Captain. My ship was stolen."

"By who?"

"My dead, mutinous crew."

"I see. You're a captain with no ship, because it was stolen by your dead crew?"

The Dread Pirate Roberts turned to the blond woman now standing next to him. "I believe this man is drunk. Probably sun-stroke to boot. Please get someone to put him in the brig."

"Not drunk. The rum's gone."

"I'll get Fezzik."

Jack's kohl-rimmed eyes opened to a new and great wideness as he watched the giant lumber over.

"The lady said that there was a drunk man…..oh! There's the drunk man!"Fezzik proceeded to toss Jack over his shoulder and take him to the brig.

"I can walk, mate! Ain't nothing wrong with me legs!"

Jack was ignored and carried to the brig. A Spaniard with curious scars across his countenance surveyed him. "He doesn't look like on of Humperdink's henchmen."

"We can't be sure, Inigo."

Before Jack could ask who the heck Humperdink was, they left.

"Good night, sleep well; I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

"Ah, just like Tortuga."