Last chapter before I leave for Cancun. (Weeeee!) Review or I'll slash you to ribbons.

Inigocame into the hull with breakfast.

"RUM!" hollered Jack seeing the liquid on the breakfast tray. Just then Buttercup walked in.

"I don't believe he needs the rum."

Jack put on his best puppy-dog face. (Which, with his kohl-rimmed eyes, was pretty scary.) "You wouldn't deny a poor, marooned pirate a bit of drink, would ya luv?"

Buttercup did her best not to smile as she glared at him. "Don't call me luv."

Jack did that weird praying thing with his hands. "Whatever you say Miss, now….the rum…"

Buttercup rolled her eyes. "Fine, give him the rum, it'll loosen his lips. But don't give him too much. He needs to be semi-lucid when my West-Roberts interviews him.

Jack wasn't surprised that Roberts wasn't his real name. The Dread Pirate West (or whatever his name was) didn't sound very scary. Plus, pirate names were often handed down. It eliminated the whole 'work to get an image' thing. Anything that eliminated work was a good thing in the eyes of this pirate. Jack had barely had a sip of his alcohol when 'Roberts' came in.

"You ready to tell all?"

Jack took another swig of his rum. Of course he was ready to tell all. Barbosa was probably already after Turner. As annoying as that boy was, Jack didn't want him killed. "Whatever you need to know mate."

"All right Captain Jack Sparrow. Are you from Gilder?"

Another swig of rum. "Nope, never heard of it, is it in France?"

"Hmmm, do you know of Florence?"

"That's in France too, isn't it?"

"No, I've never even heard of France. Are you in leagues with Prince Humperdink?"

"He's not French. They've got weird names, but not that weird."

"Fine then, what's your story."

Jack put down the rum. "I'm Captain of the Black Pearl. It was stolen from me by my mutinous crew and first mate Barbosa. I was marooned and they stole cursed Aztec gold that kept them from feeling anything and made them walking skeletons in the moonlight. I was picked up by rum-runners and eventually got to Port Royal. There I met Will Turner, only son of Bootstrap Bill. Barbosa and his crew had sent 'im down to Davy Jones' locker, ergo they needed to use his blood to break the curse. Will was in love with the governor's daughter. The long and short of it is that we beat the pirates; I killed Barbosa, but apparently not very thoroughly, and was nearly hanged. Will married Turner with the blessing of her fiancée Commodore Norrington, who, I must say, is very nice for a man trying to kill me. Now Barbosa needs Will's blood again and will probably kill Elizabeth (governor's daughter). Will, chivalrous idiot that he is, with jump over the side of the boat or somethin' equally stupid, hollerin' something about 'true love' the whole way. Savvy?"

"That wasn't a very believable story."

"If it wasn't true, I wouldn't be telling it to you. I can come-up with a much better story."

"I'll believe you." Roberts turned to Buttercup. "What do you think?"

"I think we should help them. We've evaded Humperdink and we went through the Cliffs of Insanity. There's no telling were we are. Plus, it's for true love."

Roberts turned to Inigo. "And you?"

"I killed the six-fingered man. There's nothing else I need to do."

Fezzikwas standing at the doorway. "I think the lady's right."

Roberts turned to Jack. "I guess the odds are in your favor. Now, I'm betting they don't like pirates wherever we're going."

"No, no pirates allowed in Port Royal."

"Were can I get a new crew?"

"Tortuga."

"Good, then to Tortuga. I was going to give-up pirating anyway."

"GIVE-UP PIRATING?"

Roberts smiled. "It's not like I'm the real Dread Pirate Roberts anyway."