AUTHORS NOTE:

Okay, with any luck I can post this on the same day as Foaly's thing. No new reviews? I feel hurt, excluded and left out. Lol! Seriously, please tell me what you think! I don't care if you hate it – unless you don't tell me in which case I will be seriously offended. But enough about me and my lack of reviews. It's time for more:

Reflections

Mulch

Mulch Diggums had all the things a convicted criminal could ever ask for. He was free of all charges, had set up a PI agency with Holly Short (who wasn't trying to arrest him for a change) and the cash was rolling in, hence the multiple fried pit slugs and squid that he had just consumed. Yet the dwarf's triumphs against the evils of being a thief were tinged with sadness. And it was all to do with the death of a certain LEPrecon commander. He decided to go for a bit of a tunnel to digest his meal. While he tunneled underneath Police Plaza he thought about Root's death. Normally, Mulch wouldn't even consider feeling sad about someone who had caught him during various criminal acts and then arrested him. But Root was different. It was something about his personality. That and his ability to get completely worked up about any little incident. Mulch could hear the pumping vibrations of music from one of the offices in Police Plaza.

Monday morning hesitate
Cant get out of bed
I'd rather go back to the dreams
Of living in my head, yeah

Tuesday evening packed my bags
And headed out the door
I left a box of memories
Lying on the floor, yeah

Mulch could never resist having a crack at Root. He remembered the first time they had worked together. It was during the first Artemis Fowl Incident…..

'I don't know what dreamworld you live in, convict, but in the real world you are a criminal and it is my job to ensure your life is as unpleasant as possible. SO if you're expecting civility just because I've testified against you some fifteen times, forget it!'

'If you can call seventeen convictions doing better.'

'No chance, convict. Government Issue. Anyway, what would you do with one in prison? Get a close-up of the other side of your cell?'

And up to the time of his supposed 'death'. Commander Root had been genuinely concerned, according to Foaly. But with the centaur you could never really tell.

Ride on
Ride till early morning sun
Ride on
Like the dawning of the day
Its too late
To let all your feelings show
Go on
Till the night has crept away

And the Commander had almost had a heart attack when he found out Mulch was alive and well, living of LEP gold.

'Well, well. If it isn't my favourite reprobate, back from the dead.'

'Enjoy it while you can, Diggums. Because your next meal is going to be pushed through a slot in a door.'

'Listen to me convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you.'

Yet, one thing had to be said for Root. His negotiating skills were pretty good.

'Civil rights!' Root spluttered. 'You're talking to me about civil rights! Isn't that just typical?'

Then, strangely, he calmed down. In fact he seemed almost happy. Those who were close to the commander knew that when he was happy, somebody else was about to be extremely sad.

'What?' Asked Mulch suspiciously.

'Oh, nothing. Just that you're right, that's all.'

'I'm right? You're saying, in front of witnesses, that I'm right.'

'Certainly you are. Putting you in the line of fire would violate every right in the book. So, instead of cutting you the fantastic deal that I was about to offer, I'm going to add a couple of centuries to your sentence and throw you in maximum security. In Howlers Peak.'

'Howler's Peak? But that's a….'

'A goblin prison. I know. But for an obvious escape risk such as yourself, I don't think I'd have any trouble convincing the board to make an exception.'

But when Mulch tried to help, he never seemed to appreciate it. Mulch was going to ring Julius up and point that out to him when he remembered that he would never be able to do that again.

Running from the city lights
Running from this empty life
I'm running out of time tonight
I'm screaming out for help
Help

Mulch sniffed. He had no time for this. He had to keep digging. And remembering.

'Anybody in kindergarten, maybe. So it's a fissure, so what?'

'Tell me convict, before I add another scorch mark to your behind!'

'We're being led by an idiot with a crayon.'

'You expect us to climb through twenty metres of…. Manure?'

'I remember that cutter too. You nearly decapitated me with it once.'

'You are a cunning reprobate. How did we ever catch you?'

Mulch missed those days. Him, Julius and Foaly, all at each other throats. Aaah, good times. But his memories were all that was left of them now.

Slow down, you're moving too fast
Go home, you'll feel better for it
Oh boy, you better stop dreaming
It's all in your head

Cos it's too late now

Mulch had escaped the clutches of justice again only to risk his freedom over saving one suspiciously smart Mud Boy.

'Shut your mouth, convict! This doesn't concern you. You just concentrate on enjoying your last few breaths of free air. This time tomorrow you'll be shaking hands with your cell mate, and I hope he's a troll.'

'It's all over, Mulch. You won't escape again so get your brain ready for cold food and hard walls.'

'Maybe you two would like to get married? I don't know what all the emotion is about. In tem minutes you people won't even remember this convict's name!'

Those had been the commander's last words to Mulch. His last words. Ever.

Ride on
Ride till early morning sun
Ride on
Like the dawning of the day
Its too late
To let all your feelings show
Go on
Till the night has crept away

Mulch dug rapidly. He didn't know where he was going. And he didn't care. He missed Commander Root, no matter how reluctant he was to admit it. And he would keep missing him for a long, long time.

AUTHORS NOTE:

The second to last chapter is done! Yeah! I hope to finish the last one today too. It will be short, sort of like an epilogue. And you'll never guess who is in it…..