Chapter Six: Starfire's Insanity, Volume 2
"Starfire!" Robin exclaimed after the alarm rang, trying to get her attention so that they could get her to stop zooming around the room long enough to inform her of the need for her help in crime-fighting. Robin rubbed the spot on his cheek where Starfire had kicked him when she plowed him over as he tried to block her path. He winced as he applied pressure to the bruise, wondering how wise it had been to encourage her to drink the mountain dew. "I'm such an idiot!" Robin muttered under his breath. 'I even told her to trust me, that nothing would happen…' He thought regretfully.
'Ready to join the world of the living?' Robin heard a voice say in his head that sounded strangely like Raven's.
"What?" Robin asked out loud.
"Cyborg has been asking if you're ready to go for the past 5 minutes, but you were of in a world all your own." Raven explained dryly.
"Yeah! And I even tried to get your attention by waving different animal hands in front of your face! You were out of it!" Beastboy added, still waving his hand in front of Robin's face, "I think you've had one too many falls to the ground in the past 15 minutes…".
"I'm fine now, you can stop waving." Robin said as Beastboy quickly withdrew his outstretched hand and grinned guiltily.
"Alright then, if your little pow-wow is over, I suggest we grab Starfire and head over to the city before the villian gets away!" Cyborg exclaimed, motioning to the door.
[Scene Break]
"You're robbing a Bath & Body Works store?" Raven inquired, cocking an eyebrow at the portly…thing that they were attempting to stop.
"What are you anyway?" Beastboy asked, attempting to morph into a copy of it, and doing a rather poor job of it, coming across as a mutilated animal that was hit by a 14-wheeler and left to the vultures to decompose for 7 days in intensely hot temperatures…
( "DUDE! Stop talking about my imitation and get back to the story!"
'Well SORRY! I didn't know being a descriptive author could annoy you so much, BB!'
"Well the audience doesn't NEED to know how my attempts failed! Or how ugly this chick is that's robbing the B&BW store!"
'WELL YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE BY TAKING UP MORE OF THEIR TIME SO JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME GET BACK TO THE STORY!'
"…You've been hanging out with Raven, haven't you?"
'ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!' )
Anyway, forget that RUDE interruption by Beastboy, and concentrate on the story at hand. So the teen titans were apprehending a chicken-like mutant who was robbing a… Bath & Body Works store at the mall, and Beastboy was trying to copy this chicken, but was being rather unsuccessful.
"What are you anyway?" Beastboy asked.
"EXCUSE –CLUCK- ME!" the…er…chicken exclaimed.
"Well, I can't…seem…to…copy you" Beastboy said, straining to talk after his head had changed back from looking like that of a strangled rooster.
"Well you don't have to be so –CLUCK- RUDE about it!" the chicken said, puffing out her chest.
'See what I'm talking about? Beastboy is SO rude sometimes!' I said ('I' being me, the author, the one who was arguing with Beastboy a minute ago)
"HEY! WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON!" Beastboy shouted.
'Just ignore me and get back to your post!' I said in reply.
"Well, no matter what you're taking, it's against the law and you're going down!" Robin yelled, leaping into the air for attack, followed by Cyborg, Raven, and a still partially mutilated green version of the chicken they were bringing to justice.
"Silly titans, -CLUCK- you'll never catch m- ahhhh!" the chicken cried as she was tackled by a still-speeding Starfire.
"Oh!This-Smell-Is-Quite-Enchanting-I-Must-Have-It-Where-Do-You-Find-This-Juniper-Breeze-I-Simply-Must-Have-Some-Now-Tell-Me-Or-Else!" Starfire exlaimed in hyper-speed, rushing from one shelf to the other and knocking down products as she went.
"Oh!What-Does-This-Do?" She continued, examining a spray bottle of perfume, then proceeded to squeeze each one.
"Yum!Ewww!What's-Cinnamon-Smell-Like?Hmmm!Hazelnut-Is-Just-Divine!Oh!Pomegranate-Punch-Lime-Vanilla!"
The other titans and the chicken and all the store attendants (although I can't imagine they'd still be there with a giant mutant chicken raiding it…) ran out of the store, coughing and sputtering as Starfire unleashed every scent known to man from its bottle.
"Well, that takes care of her." Raven stated, nodding towards the chicken that lay passed out on the floor, having inhaled too much passion punch.
[Scene Break]
The titans started walking out of the mall, with Starfire flying back and forth at amazing speeds, trashing every store they passed as she played with their merchandise. Beastboy stared after her, surveying as she talked to a frightened clerk at super speed, not bothering to breathe as she proclaimed the wondrousness of the store's products.
"Um, Robin?" Beastboy stated, "I think Starfire is a little wound up."
"No, Beastboy," Raven replied sarcastically, "I never would have guessed that such a composed person who handles sugar SO well would be hyper!"
Beastboy returned her comment with a glare as Starfire returned out of a store and glided right up to Beastboy. "Oh-Beastboy-You-Simply-Must-Try-These-Dog-Sweaters-On-They-Are-Most-Glorious-And-Would-Look-Absolutely-ADORABLE-on-You!"
Beastboy gave her a blank stare, trying to comprehend what she was saying then ran off at a lightning speed to match Starfire's screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!", but was easily pursued by an earnest Starfire with the pink atrocity in hand.
"But-Friend-Beastboy-You-Simply-Must!I-Can-not-Permit-You-To-Miss-Out-On-Such-A-Wonderful-Thing-As-These-Sweaters!"
"HEY GUYS?" Beastboy yelled, "CAN I GET SOME HELP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
[Chapter End]
Well, there's chapter 6! Be prepared for chapter 7! Will the titans find a remedy for Starfire's condition? Can Robin stop beating himself up over his participation in causing Starfire's ailment? CAN BEASTBOY ESCAPE THE HORROR OF DOG SWEATERS? Well, you're gonna have to find out for yourself in the next chapter!
