Assassin's Girl
Sound of Love
I am the sound of love's arrival, echoed softly on the sand. Lay your head upon my shoulder, lay your hand within my hand. I'll give you all that I am.
(Rob Thomas - Something to Be)
Darkness.
It ruled in her mind, all consuming, all raging, all…numb. She had never felt this way before, like nothing could make her happy. She lay in bed, not blinking, eyes unfocused and blurry. She wanted to cry, she really did. She wanted to scream, to fight, to hurt someone as much as she did.
…but no one deserved death, did they?
Kenshin hadn't.
She wanted to cry so much. She wanted to let the stinging relief of her emotion flow from her eyelids and fall to her lips in a caress similar to his. She wanted to be numb, so she couldn't feel those emotions, because she knew the pain of knowledge would follow.
As she lay unblinking on the bed, she remembered the conversation with Sanosuke the night before.
She fought against them, trying to get back into the ashen building, fighting to find him.
"NO! He's in there, he is! He's waiting, he could be hurt!"
The firemen came forward, and the older man from before came and patted her shoulder, pain and sympathy radiating from his eyes too.
"I'm so sorry, Kamiya-san. No one is in there. Not a scrap of clothing. The fire was extremely hot. I'm surprised the sword could withstand the heat."
Kaoru shook her head, no longer fighting. All the life seemed to be sucked out of her as she realized she had nothing to go on, nothing to believe. She turned to Sanosuke, determined to find something out.
"You. Explain this now." Her voice held no room for argument, and Sano didn't look like he would have anyway.
"Okay. But not here. The hotel."
They say down, Kaoru by herself on the couch. The couch where she ad sat with Kenshin so many times, where they lay down and argued with Yahiko and Sano…
But no time for that.
Mori and Maho had gone to make sure Yahiko and Tsubame were in the other room, not thinking that this was suitable for them to know, since they had no idea what had happened yet. Sano, Misao, and Aoshi sat on the couch and chairs facing Kaoru, who seemed to radiate pain and bitterness.
It was because of her Kenshin died. She was the cause. If he hadn't had to come after her, he wouldn't have been caught in the damned fire. Self-loathing piled upon and she wallowed in it until Sano spoke up.
"What do you want to know. I'll answer anything."
Sano seemed shocked into himself, not his usual self at all. He usually would have playfully tried to cheer her up by annoying her. But now he just sat there, looking very much like he'd like to kill someone.
Kaoru closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees.
"I want to know everything. Kenshin's past. You've been with him longer, even longer than Aoshi."
Sano, not seeming perturbed by her knowing this, nodded. He leaned back, a small smile flitting across his face.
"Kenshin was my best friend when we were young. We met when were…about 10 I think. Yeah, somewhere around there. Anyways, we were both brought into a group by our adoptive fathers, who were ordered to work together. It was funny, but they hated their jobs, and at the same time, loved them.
"Anyways, so Hiko and Captain Sagara worked together. Kenshin had already been training under Hiko for a while, since he was…about 8, I think. I never did find out how they came together, cause Hiko never seemed the kind to adopt for no reason, and he had no wife. Captain Sagara took me in when I ran away from home, and my greatest wish was just to be with him. He was my role model.
"So we met, and became best friends. All was cool for a while, you know, training and practicing with each other. He was always better than me, but I never let him know that. And then we turned 14, and everything changed.
"There was an uprising of assassin's, so naturally they had to be dealt with. You'd be surprised at how many people still hated the government, even in this modern age. And because Hiko and Captain Sagara were short manned, Kenshin and I ended up working. Kenshin, since he was more stealthy than I, became an assassin's assassin. Heh, I used to rat him for getting a journal and writing in it. I-"
Kaoru's whisper broke through, startling Misao and Aoshi, who were listening intently to Sano.
"You called him emotionless. But he wrote that he was so upset, so mad at himself and so scared. He was only 14, but he was forced through so much…"
Sano gaped at her, finally comprehending.
"You read his journal? You KNEW? And yet you stayed, even knowing he was Battousai?" Sano's eyes held appreciation and gratitude, and she finally opened her dead blue eyes and graced him with a small smile.
"Of course. I love him.
All was still, and a lone tear slipped down Kaoru's cheek, the only silent one she allowed.
Then Sano coughed, and his voice was rough.
"Well…after…about five years of that, when we were nineteen, the uprising was stopped. The assassin's had been quieted, at least for then. And so Kenshin and I have spent the last 2 years trying to become normal, trying to blend in. And we succeeded, at least until now. But this Shishio Makoto…I've heard of him. He wants a whole new government…"
Kaoru frowned, her brow creasing. "The boy who was with me…Soujiro…he said that Shishio had found a way to contain absolute zero…"
"Huh…so he's going all out. Well, we'll stop him somehow…it would've been easier if…well…" he trailed off, and with thoughts of amber and violet consuming her mind, Kaoru fell into the darkness.
And so here she was; tired, alone, and angry at herself and the world. Kenshin was gone, gone, gone…
And he wasn't coming back…
She was left with nothing but his journal, which she had placed under the pillow, and the pieces of his sakabatou. She currently held them softly in her bandaged hand, pressing it to her breast. She lay in his bed, with all the lights turned off. She could smell him on the pillow. The clock flashed repeatedly…3:00 AM…3:00 AM…
She should sleep…she should be happy, be happy because that's what he would want…but she couldn't, because that would make her feel so wrong…
…like she could be happy while he was dead…all alone…
…he didn't have to be alone…she sat up straight, the moonlight catching the blade as she flipped it over. Now it was as deadly as a katana…and one slice…
But no. She was not so low that she would take her life. Kenshin would despise her for that. With a wry smile, she lay back down, realizing that was the first time she had thought of him. Really thought of him…without feeling awful.
That same small, sad smile.
The door opened, but she didn't turn. She didn't care. She just kept that small smile, while tears rolled down her cheeks.
She didn't care who it was, she didn't care why there were here. She didn't want more people telling her to stop acting this way, to console her. She didn't want them making her feel worse.
This was all her fault, and the blade glinted again…it was like it was calling to her, and she held it in her palms. Guilt was a horrible feeling, weighing on her heart like a million pounds, and his face flashed behind her closed eyes, making that weight heavier each second. This wasn't fair, he shouldn't have died, and even if he had…why did he leave her behind? She had already said she loved him…
…and he loved her…or so he said, before he fell…before those smiling eyes closed…forever…
'Stop it.'
A hand on her shoulder, and she opened her eyes, staring blankly. She tried to hear what they were saying, but there was a buzzing in her ears, and she tried harder, and heard "-sorry I didn't tell you sooner…"
Her eyes snapped open, and she turned around, eyes widening as she saw-
I could so end it now. I really, really could. But what fun would that be? Ne?
Kaoru turned around, eyes widening, and saw…Sanosuke. Her shoulders slumped and she gave a soft chuckle.
"How silly…of me to think…"
Sano grinned, and grabbed her shoulders. " I was hoping you weren't listening. It'd be so much more boring if you were, for once. Kaoru, I should have told you sooner, but I was talking and-"
And again with the buzzing. His lips were moving, and she caught herself watching them move, a small giggle working its way through her lips…he looked so funny…
And then a small chuckle behind her caused her to jump.
"You're boring her. She hasn't been listening for the past five minutes."
She refused to spin around again. Knowing her bad luck, it would be Aoshi. Or a phantom. Maybe it was a figment of her imagination. Yes, that was it. Then why was Sanosuke staring the figment over her shoulder?
She refused to turn.
And then she was turned, and glimpsed a flash of red and purple before being encased by warm arms.
"Gomen Kaoru…gomen nasai…"
No phantom could be this warm, she realized. No imaginary person could hold her like this, send soothing chills down her spine with a whisper like this… Her own arms coming around his waist, the dam broke and she cried, laughing as she did.
"Oh Kenshin…Kenshin…"
Yeah, I'm crying. But for a different reason. I NEED TO UPDAAAATE!I got grounded so much, WRITERS BLOCK IS EEEEVIL, and I was mostly too lazy to do it half the time. I'm obssessed with RPGing, so I had little time to finish this. I hope its okay.
Bwahaa. Okay, if anyone of you actually thought I'd kill him, you're stupid. I'm sorry, but you are. Like I'd kill him off. I have a sequel planned out! I need him to live.
So, unless they're both crazy, Kenshin is alive. So you can't kill me…bwaha. I'm all powerful.
OH! I almost forgot to tell you guys! I got a flame a while back, and just forgot about it. The sender made me have a new view of flames…they were so creative and used such good arguments, bravely sending their names…
Review: you suck (Anonymous)
It made me laugh, so I'm glad my first flame was funny. I have no problem with you guys hating my story, but have some sort of reason for hating it, even if its for the pairings. (In which case I need to ask what your problem is…if you don't like KK, don't read it. To just read a story that you KNOW you won't like so you can flame it is stupid.)
