Long Years Past
Chapter 6
How do I go on?

"Kagome!"

Inu Yasha tried in vain to reach her, to save her. But he was too late. The miko cried out in pain and fell back into the well, her agonizing scream echoing into the black hole.

"NO!"

Inu Yasha sat up suddenly, chest heaving. His breath came in ragged gasps and his entire body shook from the nightmare as sweat drops glistened and made their way down his finely toned chest. Golden eyes glazed over the room, forcing him to try and take it all in. He was in a hut. But he couldn't remember getting there. He moved to get up but stopped as a sharp pain shot through his shoulder. His hand flew to the burning spot and came away with blood. Confusion mounted as he surveyed a wound in his shoulder that had been bandaged. He couldn't remember getting it.

"What happened to me?" he thought, trying to remember. "And what was that dream all about?"

He reached for Tetsusaiga, which had been laid to rest beside him. Using it as a crutch, he pulled himself up and with great effort and discomfort staggered outside into the midday sun.

"Inu Yasha!" came a voice from the side of Kaede's hut.

He turned. "Sango…" he managed a weary smile, relieved to see a familiar face. Then, loosing his balance, the haynou pitched forward onto the dirt.

"Inu Yasha!" Sango ran to him in alarm. "Don't move! You'll reopen your wounds!"

"Feh." Came the weak reply. "I've had worse."

Sango kneeled down beside him. As Inu Yasha turned to look at her, he was startled to see an emotion he had never known the demon slayer to show. The expression on her face was one of absolute fear. Had the battle they'd been in been that serious?

"Inu Yasha," Sango spoke to him slowly, as though he were a child. "do you remember what happened?"

He shook his head. "What, did we battle some demon or something? Did anyone else get hurt? Is Kagome ok?" he said the last sentence in alarm, fearing the worst for her if he was injured.

Sango shook her head sadly. "No, Inu Yasha…" she answered quietly, "There was no battle."

"Then what happened? Where's Kagome?" he questioned her.

Sango looked on the verge of tears. "Kagome went for a walk, and you went after her. You came back covered in wounded and covered in blood…and you had the Shikon Jewel…"

Inu Yasha's ears stood up in alarm. His head was spinning. If what Sango said was true, why couldn't he remember any of it?

"What about Kagome? Did she go back to her time, what happened?" he was getting frustrated.

"She never came back…and that was three days ago."

"N-never came back?" he stuttered, not wanting to believe that Kagome would just leave him wounded somewhere. Someone must have kidnapped her…

"Inu Yasha!" Miroku's voice came in urgency to the two sitting on the ground.

The haynou glanced up to see the monk running frantically toward him.

"Inu Yasha, are you ok!" he said upon reaching them.

"Feh. Do I look ok?" he spat back, famous temper flaring.

"Calm down, Inu Yasha-"

"Calm down! Don't tell me to calm down! You tell me were Kagome is!"

"We don't know…. We were actually hoping you could tell us."

"I told you, I don't remember!"

Miroku lapsed into silence. He knew the question that needed to be asked, yet he knew he did not want the answer all the clues were pointing towards.

The exterminator sensed his hesitation. But they had to know for sure.

"Um, Inu Yasha, is it possible, that…" she started tentatively.

"That what! Come on, spit it out!" he replied.

She took a deep breath. "Inu Yasha, is it possible that you killed Kagome?"

"What?" the haynou said in wide-eyed shock.

"Well, you came back covered in blood, and you had the Sacred Jewel…. And Lady Kagome is missing and the well is covered in blood…"

"No, no, that's not possible… not possible." He went on incoherently. "I couldn't have… no… could I?" he looked pleadingly at his friends.

Sango felt so helpless. She knew all too well the pain of loosing a loved one, and if that was indeed the fate of Kagome, nothing on this earth could comfort Inu Yasha.

"I don't want to believe it either, but-"

"Take me there."

"What?"

"To the well. I have to see it with my own eyes."

"Inu Yasha, are you sure?" Miroku questioned.

"Please, just take me there."

"Kirara!" Sango called to her cat. "Please take us to the Bone Eater's Well."


Inu Yasha could smell the faint scent of blood even before the well came into view. But because the rain had washed most of it away, he couldn't tell whose it was. As they reached the well, the haynou slid from Kirara's back and stumbled to the well as fast as his injuries would allow. Sango and Miroku followed.

The gnarled ancient wood of the well was stained red with blood. Inu Yasha slowly brought his clawed hand to it and ran his fingers over the wood, praying that it would jolt his memory. But it didn't work, and the scent was all but untraceable.

"Do you remember anything?' the monk said.

He shook his head.

Sango turned to Miroku and spoke to him in a hushed tone. "What if we went and found Lady Kikyo? You said you saw her shikigami that night, so maybe she saw something."

"You're right. Let's go find Kikyo." Miroku turned and started walking away. He motioned for Sango to follow.

"What did you say?" Inu Yasha's voice caught them off guard.

Miroku stopped dead in his tracks. Maybe something was coming back. It was worth a try. "We said we were going to go find Kikyo and-"

"Kikyo?" He interrupted. His voice strained, trying to remember. "Kikyo…was here."

He remembered. That dream; it wasn't a dream… it was a nightmare….worse than a nightmare. It was real.

He was worried. Kagome hadn't come back. He ran after her… ran faster than he ever had. But he was too late. She was gone… she… Kikyo… Kikyo shot her. And he had killed Kikyo. She was gone….they were both gone….

And the well was stained crimson with Kagome's blood…

Tears were streaming down his face. Inu Yasha fell to the side of the well as sobs racked his body. He buried his face in his hands, willing himself to disappear.

"Inu Yasha…" Sango said softly, walking slowly toward him. A gentle hand from Miroku held her back.

"No. Can't you see how much pain he's in?" Sango nodded despondently and the two started walking back to the village. "I know you're worried about Lady Kagome, but something tells me she's not here anymore… and Inu Yasha will tell us what happened when he's ready."


He lay there for what seemed like eternity, reliving that night over and over in his head. It was torture, but he couldn't stop. He did it so many times he didn't even notice the sun set. Life had suddenly lost its meaning. What was the point of living if he couldn't be with her? It seemed all he would do for the rest of his life was relive that horrible night.

'Why couldn't I have left sooner?' his mind ran over a million possibilities he knew could have changed what happened.

'If I had come just one second earlier, I could have saved her…. I could have saved her…

He closed his eyes, tears flowing freely down his face once more, salt mixing wit his broken heart. And when he though about it, it wasn't even loosing Kagome that hurt the most…

He had never gotten up the courage to tell her he loved her.