For the first time in a long time, nightmares do not disturb my sleep. In fact, I don't dream at all.
I slowly become aware of the quiet early morning activity of the prison and yawn while keeping my eyes closed, not quite ready to face the world just yet.
So warm…so comfortable…so…cuddled?
I snap my eyes open and almost gasp aloud when I see Draco's face not two inches from my own. I stare unblinkingly at his peacefully sleeping expression. Simultaneously, I become aware of an arm draped over my chest, and if I'm not mistaken, that's a leg thrown half-hazardly on top of my own.
Okay, so I am having a nightmare.
I try to make my body relax, hoping not to disturb the clearly oblivious Malfoy in front of me.
Okay, Harry, I think to myself rationally. I just have to disentangle myself from Draco without waking him up and then pretend none of this ever happened.
But even as I think this, another part of me suddenly pipes up and asks just why I feel the need to leave this comfortable little position. I didn't consciously put myself into this situation. I'm not at fault.
Oh god, he's going to think that I molested him after all.
I chew my lip and bring my eyes back up to Draco's face.
This is quite comfortable actually…and warm…Okay, I'll just stay here a little longer, no harm in that. He won't wake for at least another fifteen minutes. I'm not doing anything wrong. It's cold in here, and they don't provide us with blankets or heating, so this is perfectly normal.
I relax further and allow myself to smile a little at the surreal situation. Malfoy would be horrified if he knew what he was currently doing. I swallow down the tiny chuckle threatening to escape. It's too bad he's so homophobic, or else we could always sleep like this. It's such a pleasant way to wake up in the morning; being held. Even if it is by Draco Malfoy. I guess in prison you really do take comfort where you can find it.
And he's not so bad, really. He's been very civil the last couple of days. For Malfoy, that is.
I realize that I'm still staring at him with a goofy smile on my face, and it suddenly hits me what this would look like if someone were to walk by.
I don't even think about him in that way. That would be laughable and…and…just really wrong.
I chuckle to myself, my breath dislodging a few strands of hair from Draco's head and onto his face. I reach out and carefully push the blond pieces back off of his forehead and away from his closed eyelids.
So what if he's gorgeous? Sure, I admit it, I'm not blind, but it doesn't mean that I have any deep feelings for the boy. I'm not-
I stiffen. The skin on the back of my neck is crawling with the distinct and creepy feeling of someone watching me. I feel the blood drain from my face as I slowly retract my hand from Draco's face. I then very carefully slide myself out from under Draco's warm limbs and away from him.
I turn around and meet a pair of inquisitive brown eyes with my own.
"Amari." I swallow, trying to sound nonchalant. "Good morning. I- I didn't know you were…erm, awake."
He watches me for a moment. "Good morning, Bakari."
I smile at him and stand up, trying to ignore that piercing look he's currently using to apparently see right into my head. I walk over to the hand basin to wash my hands and rinse out my mouth.
"Did you sleep well, my young friend?"
"Yes, thank you," I reply, not turning around.
"I am glad."
Why am I acting so guilty? I didn't do anything wrong. I don't have any control over what Malfoy does with his own arms and legs. It was just the result of moving about during a restless night of sleeping, that's all.
I smile at Amari as I dry my hands. "What about you? How did you sleep?"
"Good." He finally smiles, but his eyes still hold a trace of that interrogative gleam.
I nod, forcing another falsely bright smile on my face.
An awkward silence ensues, causing me to feel very uncomfortable as I fidget with the buttons on my shirt. I desperately try to think of something to say.
Luckily I don't have to.
"Good morning, Draco." Amari's gaze shifts away from me and towards the slowly stretching figure of Draco on the mat.
Oh, thank god.
Draco grumbles unintelligently. He is not a morning person.
I smile at the Slytherin and shake my head.
Amari watches me watching Draco.
After the morning inmate count, the three of us travel down to the dining hall and meet up with the rest of our friends for breakfast.
The entire time, I find that I can't stop thinking about this morning; waking up in Draco's arms, and feeling…what exactly?
I frown and ponder these strange new thoughts as I absently dig into the disgusting breakfast, hardly noticing the cardboard taste this time.
It's not the fact that I willingly admit to the blond's attractiveness, any person - male or female - can tell the boy is stunning, that's not what's bothering me. What's bothering me is the fact that I didn't recoil in horror upon waking up in his arms. In fact, it was the complete opposite of horror - I actually liked it. But is that feeling stemming from loneliness and from being locked in a prison with Malfoy as my only source of the familiar, or is it…?
No. I am not going down that road. If there's anything there, then it's purely sexual, and I am not interested. It would be a bad idea for more reasons than I care to count. Number one being that Draco is straight...I think.
"Harry?"
I blink and look up at Jack's face. "Huh?"
"Something wrong?" he asks.
"No, why?"
Jack glances around at everyone else's face before coming back to me. "You just ate your breakfast in record time. Is the stuff finally tasting that good to you?"
I look down and notice that my plate is indeed empty, spotless, in fact.
"I guess I was hungry." I shrug.
Draco cocks a brow in surprise.
I quickly look away from him and grab for my glass of water.
"Bakari?"
"Yeah?" I look over at Amari, and for a split second I'm terrified that he's going to mention what he saw this morning – not that anything really happened, mind you.
"We are on laundry duty today."
"What? What's that?" I ask, relieved.
Jack answers for him. "Each cell is assigned a different job to perform in the prison each week. Not really sure why you haven't had to do it up till now, but this week you're on laundry duty in the basement. Meaning, you have to wash and dry clothing, sheets, things like that."
"What?" Draco gapes. "How can they do that? This isn't even a real prison, all the people in here are still presumed innocent, right? They can't force innocent people into doing manual labour!"
"They can do whatever they want in here, princess," Jack replies. "No one is the wiser. The fucking Ministry have no clue about half of the things that go on in here. The Vark are in control and we have no say. Just be glad you're not on urinal cleaning duty."
Draco practically turns green at the thought.
"Come along, boys," Amari says with a smile. "It is time to work."
Draco and I share a look of despair before following along behind.
I am not staring at Malfoy's ass as we follow Amari down to the basement level. Really. I'm not.
Okay, I am. But it doesn't mean anything. I am merely a seventeen year old virgin who is obviously feeling desperate enough for anything. Plus, I think that inner voice of mine that's supposed to tell you when you've crossed into the bad territory has decided to take a little vacation.
Merlin, I really need to set some guide lines for myself. Top of the list: do not lust after straight men…er, or men who are currently having sexual identity crisis.'
Maybe I should just change that to 'do not lust after Draco Malfoy.'
Okay, good. I'll just live by that one tiny, insignificant rule. No problem. I can do that.
Yeah, sure you can.
Oh hey, my inner voice is back.
"Sarcastic git," I mutter.
"What did you just call me?" Draco says, turning around.
"Wha- oh, um…I was talking to myself," I answer in embarrassment.
Draco gives me a strange look. "Thanks, Potter. Looks like I don't have to insult you anymore since you seem to be doing a good enough job of it on your own."
"Ha ha," I shoot back sarcastically.
He smirks back at me as we finally enter the large laundry facilities.
Amari turns to us and has to yell to be heard over the noise. "I will bring the dirty laundry to you two, and your job is to wash, then hand it over to the people who dry. Three cell groups work down here at one time, and the strongest carry the laundry because it is very heavy. You two are small, so you wash. Understand?"
I place my hand over Draco's mouth to stop him from making some kind of indignant reply.
"Okay," I shout back.
Amari gives us the thumbs up and leads us over to the large washing tubs. He points out the soap and wash boards, then leaves to fetch the first load.
I snort as I look at our 'equipment.' Not only do we have to work without magic, but they've also provided us with a practically prehistoric method of getting it done with.
Amari lumbers over with the first batch and dumps it at our feet.
With a sigh, I pick up one of the sheets and dunk it into the warm water.
I glance over at Draco and see him watching my movements. I smile. "You've never done this before, have you?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "Obviously not," he replies disdainfully.
"It's easy. Just take the soap in one hand, the board in another, put some of the soap on the board, and then scrub up and down. See?" I demonstrate for him.
Draco nods and delicately picks up a soiled grey shirt from the pile with the tips of his fingers. He grimaces as he then picks up the soap and washboard.
I almost laugh at the gentle scrubbing the blond is doing with the shirt. It is going to take him hours just to clean one thing.
"You're going to have to press harder," I instruct over the din. "See?" I put my back into it and scrub up and down on my board, demonstrating.
Draco nods and returns to work.
I smile and continue on.
Pretty soon, Draco has the hang of it and we're both working at a good steady pace, Amari dropping by every ten minutes or so to give us more.
"Ugh…my back is killing me," I groan after a couple of hours, dumping the now clean trousers onto the pile for drying. I reach a hand back and try to rub some of the kinks out of my aching lower back.
"You're sore?" Draco says. "You're used to this manual labour stuff, I'm the one who's really suffering."
I roll my eyes. "Oh, get over yourself, princess."
Draco sends me his patented death glare. "Don't call me that."
"Jack did. Didn't hear you complaining then."
"I was a little distracted by the thought of cleaning out urinals."
I smile and dunk another white undershirt into the warm, sudsy water. "Who knows? Maybe we'll be out of here before we reach toilet cleaning duty."
"Keep wishing, Potter." Draco pauses to swipe sweaty tendrils of hair back from his forehead.
"I think I've done more than you," I say, glancing at him as he takes yet another break from washing.
"Good for you. Keep it up."
"Shut-up."
Draco smirks and reluctantly grabs another article of clothing from the dirty heap.
"So, let's say we do get out of here some day, what does the great Harry Potter have planned for his no doubt extraordinary future?"
"You mean after I murder the most powerful evil genius our world has to offer?"
"Of course."
"Well, then my ideal future consists of a rocking chair and a porch."
Draco pauses to give me a withering look. "Be serious, Harry. You can do that when you're eighty."
"I would love to do that now," I answer truthfully. "I can't even imagine what it would be like living from day to day with absolutely nothing to worry about but watering the plants and feeding the cat."
"Cat?"
"Or maybe a Hippogriff." I smile, thinking of Buckbeak.
Draco shudders. "I hate those ugly beasts."
"Maybe you should have kept your big mouth shut back then."
Draco pauses in his work to glare at me. "But seriously, Potter. You would never last living the normal life, you crave danger and excitement too much. Why don't you play professional Quidditch?"
"Are you saying that you think I'm good enough?" I smile charmingly at him.
"Don't fish for compliments, Potter, it doesn't suit you."
"And don't start handing them out, because that doesn't suit you either." I chuckle, flipping over the trousers to scrub the other side. "And by the way, I do not crave danger and excitement. I am bloody tired of them both and wish to live out the rest of my life - however long that may be - as peacefully and as quietly as possible."
"How dreadfully boring."
"What about you, then? Where do you see yourself in the future?"
"Living the high life." Draco smirks. "Nothing but champagne, parties, caviar, and sleeping until two."
"So you want to be lazy and spend a lot of money. Big surprise."
"Throwing a party is not an easy thing to do - it's exhausting."
"Well, when you get tired of you're parties and caviar, you're welcome to visit me on my porch."
"With your cat?" Draco smirks.
"With my Hippogriff," I correct with a wink.
"Then I shall not be visiting your boring old porch and creaky chair."
I laugh and throw another shirt onto the drying table.
A loud whistle screeches above our heads, alerting us to the end of our working time.
Amari walks over and wipes a hand over his glistening brow. "Ready to go boys?"
"Definitely," I reply, sharing a look of relief with Draco.
I try to stretch out my stiff arms while we head back up to the main floor and away from the heat and stench of the basement.
"I am going to use the shower," Amari announces, looking over his shoulder at us. "I don't know about you, but I am in need of a cleaning."
I laugh and nod. "Me, too."
I can just imagine the smell coming off of us right now.
"At least they give us hot water here," Draco says, grateful for small blessings.
I smile, but the look becomes frozen as I think about what Draco just said. Large communal shower room. Draco. Naked. Me. Naked.
Shit shit shit shit….
Okay, don't panic. Think back to number one on your new guide lines list: don't lust after Draco Malfoy. He's an evil git. A wanker. A…a stuck up snob, and anal retentive…
Hmm…maybe I should stay away from thoughts centering around the subject of anything anal –
STOP!
"Something wrong, Harry?" Draco asks as I slap a hand over my mouth.
"No…nothing." I slowly lower my hand and force a smile.
Draco raises a brow. "You're losing it."
"Yeah, I think I am."
Draco looks as though he's trying to figure out whether I'm joking or not. "Well, at least we're in agreement."
"Yeah," I add inanely.
I gulp as the three of us enter the changing room. I turn away from my companions, and face the lockers as I strip down.
All I have to do is not look at him. That's not so hard.
Gods, I wish I still had my glasses, that way I could simply remove them and lose the ability to see anything clearly.
I keep my eyes firmly on the floor as I walk into the shower room. I grab the closest spout and face the wall.
So far so good.
I grab the bar of soap, lather up, and wash my body and my hair. I rinse away any remaining residue and, eyes glued to the dingy tiled floor, turn to reach for my towel.
Shit…where the fuck is my bleeding towel?
I look up and promptly close my eyes again.
I wish it had been Draco naked.
"What do you want?" I ask, glowering at Bailey; one third of the Carnal Boy trio.
"Just thought you might like a fresh towel, that's all, gorgeous," he leers, eyeing me up and down.
"Can I have it now?" I hold out an empty hand towards him.
"Not so fast there, Mr Potter," he says, pulling the towel just out of reach. "For a service such as this, the polite thing to do would be to tip me."
"I didn't ask for you to bring me a towel. I had one already."
Bailey's eyes darken and his hand clenches around the grey coloured towel.
"Actually, it's okay," I say hesitantly, backing up a step. "I don't need a towel. I'm fine-"
Bailey lifts a muscular arm and places his hand against the wall, barring my way.
"Is there a problem here?"
I look up and sigh in relief as Amari steps into view.
Bailey eyes him disdainfully. Luckily, Bailey stands a good five inches shorter than Amari, and is obviously no match for him, despite their age difference.
"There ain't no trouble here, just givin' the boy his towel." Bailey throws the towel onto the wet floor and turns on his heel to leave.
"Are you okay, Bakari?" Amari asks me in concern.
"Yeah," I reply shakily. "He just surprised is all. I wish they'd leave me alone."
Amari smiles gently at me. "Don't worry, if they've picked you out to hunt, then we won't leave you alone."
I smile my thanks and reach down to pick up the soggy towel.
"Harry, here!"
I look up as Draco comes striding over, a clean towel held in his hand.
"Thanks." I say as I catch it from him and quickly wrap it around my waist.
"You okay, Potter?" he asks with a frown.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Come along, boys." Amari turns and we both follow him back to the changing rooms.
Thankfully, Bailey isn't anywhere in sight when we enter.
All the lockers are equipped with tiny mirrors in the doors, and as I finish buttoning up my shirt and glance into it to check my hair, I can see the reflection of Draco behind me.
I don't even try to argue with myself about my staring. I just watch him as he combs his fingers through his wet, blond hair. I notice the water stain in the small of his back on the clean shirt he's just put on, as though he didn't dry himself too thoroughly. I see the concentration in his grey eyes as he arranges his hair just so.
I bet if Draco lived in the muggle world, he'd be a model.
It's weird, if I had seen Draco in the muggle world, acting the way he does, I would have immediately labeled him as a gay man. Somehow, the wizarding world is confusing my judgment. Maybe it's just the way he was brought up; to care about his appearance and so on, and it doesn't mean anything. But then…look at his father…
I slam the locker closed and berate myself for being so stupid and openly staring at Draco like that. I don't know what I'm doing. I need to think about all of this…but I don't really want to.
"Coming Bakari?"
I nod dully and trail after Draco and Amari as they head back out into the prison and then out to the yard to join Jack and the gang for the last half hour of fresh air time.
"Care for a game of Stones?" Jack immediately smirks at Draco.
"You're on, old man." Draco smirks back.
"I think I'm going to go for a walk," I announce as they settle down on one of the benches and spill the rocks out for the game on its surface.
"Sure you don't want to play?" Draco asks, not looking up.
"Yeah, I'll be back in a bit."
"Do you want some company?" Amari asks, staring into my eyes intently.
I almost accept. It would be so nice to just confess everything and get his opinion on the matter, maybe hearing it aloud would help me see things more clearly. But most wizards do not accept homosexuality, and I don't want to alienate my friend. And perhaps I don't want to know if he hates gay men, I don't want to see that side to such a caring and thoughtful human being.
"No, thanks," I decline with a smile.
Amari nods and sits down beside the others to watch and place bets as Draco and Jack begin their game.
I wander off, drifting far away towards the other end of the yard, my arms wrapped firmly around my waist.
I stop at the perimeter of the fence and look out, past the steel and barbed wire, through the magical force field, and out at the barren landscape beyond. I can hear the hum of the magic as I step closer.
All I can see is rock and sky. The earth is just dark, craggy rocks upon which the dark grey sky rests. It looks as though a storm may be coming.
I turn and look back at my friends; mere specks on the other side of the grounds. I sigh and wish that I could lean back against the fence behind me, but I'm pretty sure the magic would zap me or something. I settle for sitting cross-legged on the dirt instead.
I pick up a small pebble and play with it as thoughts swirl in my head.
I know that I don't care for Draco beyond the tenuous friendship that we've slowly built. I do care for him, I think, but not like that.
I rest my head in my hands and lean my elbows on my knees.
Then why am I having these strange thoughts? Why do I find myself watching him? I thought about him naked today, for fuck's sake! That's not normal. You don't think about a friend that way. I sure as hell have never thought about Ron that way.
Then why? Why all these inopportune thoughts and feelings? Is it because we're spending so much time together? Is it because he's opening up to me and not acting like such a prat?
I didn't think of him like this until I woke up in his arms this morning. So…it must mean that I'm just lonely and…and maybe a little bit scared. Not that I would ever admit that to him.
I've never woken up being held like that in my life. That's what brought all this on.
Okay, it's simple – I will refrain from sleeping so close to him and then that will stop this mess from getting worse.
I appreciate and value his friendship way too much to muck it all up. It would only offend and anger him if he were to know. He would be disgusted with me and I would be disgusted with myself. No, it's definitely for the best, especially with that whole thing with his father and all.
It'll just have to be one more secret that I have to keep in my life…
I wish I had someone to tell everything to, like a father, or a lover, but seeing as I am lacking both, I will just have to suffer it out alone and keep my mouth shut.
I toss the pebble away and slowly make my way back over to the group. It's nearly time for us to go back in for dinner.
"So who won?" I ask cheerfully.
Jack smiles and Draco glares.
"Never mind." I laugh. "What are you doing now?"
"Amari is trying to decide on a name for Draco," Trip says, grinning at me.
"Really?" I ask, interested.
"Abimbola…" Amari tries it out thoughtfully, looking at Draco."What does that mean?" I ask.
"It means: born wealthy."
We all laugh and Draco's pout twitches slightly.
"What about Hasani? It means, handsome."
"Yeah, I like that," Draco says, forgoing his pouting.
"Yeah, that's what he needs, a bigger head." Jack snorts.
"I know," Amari says wisely. "Uzoma."
"What does that mean?" Draco asks, apparently liking the sound of that one.
"It means: follow the right road."
I smile. That's perfect for him, for the Slytherin who has denied his house and family and is now walking the right path – or the 'right road,' so to speak.
"I like it." Draco nods thoughtfully.
"Good. Now let's go eat!"
I smile as Jack throws an arm around my shoulders and we all head back towards Grace. Me and my small group of friends.
I glance back at Draco and we share a smile.
Nope, there's no way I'm going to risk changing a thing about any of this.
