1Title: In Your Dreams
Author: Blair Lebeau, SocialButterfli
Summary: The memory of her is still clear in his mind. He'll never forget how his heart stopped when she turned her back to him and flew away, never to return. But when they find each other again, will their destined love finally become reality? Or can they only be together in his dreams? RobStar
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, but if anyone wants to buy it for me, feel free!
Chapter 10
The moment I saw the picture in one hand and her pillow in the other, it all came rushing back to me. Of course The Mistake had been on constant play in my mind, but I liked to forget the many sleepless nights I spent in Starfire's room crying, the picture clutched to my chest and the scent of her continuing to exist on that pillow that was constantly soaked. Fear clutched at my heart as she turned to face me.
"What is this?" she asked. I chose to act ignorant of the real meaning behind her question.
"The picture you gave me three Christmases ago." She nodded.
"Why is it here? And why is my pillow wet?" I would be mistaken if I thought she didn't know the answer. But I think maybe she had to hear it for herself. Perhaps she didn't believe it. Or maybe she just didn't want to.
"I didn't remember it was there," I said, looking at my feet. She remained silent, waiting for me to explain what it meant. But I didn't want to. So we both stayed quiet, avoiding eye contact with each other.
"Do you wish for me to stay?" she asked. I looked up at her, and finally her eyes met my mask, and it felt as if she were looking right through it, as if the thin black material were transparent. She had power over me like that.
How should I answer that question?
With the truth.
"Yes," I said, a tremor running through me as I said it. Admitting that didn't exactly mean that I was admitting my love for her, but it said enough. She nodded seriously.
"Are you most certain?"
"God, yes," I said, sounding more desperate than I would have liked. I cursed myself for it, but the look she was giving me made me forget everything except her beautiful face and mesmerizing gaze.
"Robin, I do not understand what I am feeling right now, and I am not certain of what is happening, but . . ." she trailed off, breaking the connection between us by looking away.
What was she going to say? My mind was screaming at her to love me. Please, please love me.
"I have missed you," she repeated.
She missed me.
"And the other Titans, of course."
Of course.
"But you most of all."
What?
"And I do not know what it means. When I left, I was only away from Earth a short time, but even when I returned I went to sleep every night and dreamt of you. It was torture, Robin, to only be with you in my dreams."
Were the words coming out of her mouth, or mine? I couldn't believe it. It was like she had stolen Raven's powers, looked into my mind, and was reading my thoughts back to me. She was right, it had been excruciating to relive The Mistake over and over again while I slept. But it had been even worse when some of the dreams fulfilled my deepest desire of being with her. You probably think I'm crazy, because most would enjoy such a dream. But imagine having to wake up and realize that your moment of happiness was all a lie. After all, to be able to find love that seems meant to be?
In your dreams.
"Robin, you hurt me in a way I never believed I could be hurt. In battle I have been wounded many times, but it was always physical. Never before have I experienced such a torturous emotional pain." She shuddered, as if remembering, and I went to her immediately. I put my hands on her shoulders and ensured that our gazes were locked.
"Starfire, that night, those words I said, it was The Biggest Mistake I've ever made. And I replayed it over and over in my mind after you left, tormenting myself. You see, Starfire, what I did to hurt you hurt me as well. And I can't tell you how sorry I am." I gathered her trembling body in my arms in a sincere hug. It was intimacy that I had long forgotten, but I quickly remembered, all five of my senses alert. Her beauty filled my eyes, I inhaled that tantalizing scent, I heard her soft breathing, and felt her soft skin against mine. The only thing that was missing was the taste of her, something that I had yet to experience.
Would I finally get the chance?
"I'm so sorry," I whispered in her ear before she pulled away. This was it. Finally I would express my true feelings for her, and it seemed like she would return those feelings. My dream was finally coming true.
"I do not know what to say," she whispered back, quivering. I smiled slightly.
"Then don't say anything at all." I began to lean forward, watching intently for a sign that either told me to back off or hopefully invite me in. When I saw her close her eyes, I knew with a leap of my heart that an invitation was fully extended. I was inches away from her lips, finally, finally . . .
Doo doo doo da doo doo doo da doo.
I jumped at the sound of my communicator going off. Trouble? Now? Hadn't I been punished enough for what I'd done?
Starfire's eyes fluttered open, and disappointment registered in her eyes.
"What is wrong?" she asked, and I flipped open my communicator so I could answer her. My eyes widened.
On the screen I saw her brother's kidnapper breaking out of jail . . . and heading in the direction of her apartment, where Ryan was alone.
Wheeee!!! Conflict that interrupts another intimate moment! I love it! I'm sure you don't, but you can deal. So close, yet so far away. Too bad.
Think of this has my Christmas present to you, because I doubt I'll be able to update on Christmas day. Merry Christmahanukwanzakah! (It's catching on, I swear.)
Okay, more author notes addressing past comments that I forgot about when I was rushing to put up a new chapter: As for Robin being practically bipolar where one moment he's seconds away from grabbing Starfire and eloping and the next he's all serious again, that's how I picture him to be. He wants to be able to be impulsive and give in to his wants, but there's still a little constraint in him because he's the leader of the Teen Titans. Plus, it adds conflict. And we all know how I love conflict.
I had another author note, but I forgot what it is now. If any of you still have questions unanswered or comments that you want me to comment on, let me know again. Sorry that my short term memory is 2.5 seconds.
Wanna give me something for Christmas? Review!
Blair
