codename d.i.v.a.s. - Chapter 03: The Undercover Practice Drill (Part 1)
codename d.i.v.a.s.
Update! Update! Update! Sorry, I don't know what's got into me. Anyway, I've finally sat my ass down and pulled this third chapter through. It's still a little slow; you'll have to forgive me, action is virtually untested ground for me. Next chapter, I promise. Actually, it should be this one, but it was so long I had to break it into two parts. Oh, and hope the undercover names don't confuse anyone; it nearly confused me, to be honest. Well here's a refresher: Victoria - Jolene Mann. Lita - Christy Gibson. Molly - Tina Jiffy. Gail Kim - Ai Hitachi. Shelton Benjamin - Keshawn O'Brien. Rey Mysterio - Joey Gonzalez. Good? Let's get to it, then.
Date Uploaded: 14 May 2005
Chapter 03: The Undercover Practice Drill (Part 1)
It was all Victoria could do to keep from drilling the pen in her hand right into the guests who checked into the Rustic Seaside Inn (which pretty much was that, but you could tell the owner didn't have much imagination in the way of names). It was only eleven in the morning and yet she had rented out fourteen rooms and now she felt her smile was practically cemented in place.
She had seen all types of visitors check in. There were the big, bustling families with screaming, whiny kids, harassed-looking mothers and indifferent fathers with potbellies. A bunch of university students on spring break had taken a few rooms as well, all rowdy, most yelling war cries and profane greetings at each other. There was a honeymooning couple who had insisted on smooching while checking in, making Victoria want to retch. Lita had checked in as her undercover persona Christy Gibson, adopting her best vapid, Paris Hilton-attitude that actually made Victoria snicker. But yet still no sign of the three suspects.
Now, absently massaging her throbbing cheekbones with one hand, Victoria sucked it in and faced the next person with a smile that she hoped was cheerful instead of murderous. "Welcome to the Rustic Seaside Inn! How may I help you?"
Pay dirt. The slick grin of Keshawn O'Brien greeted her from underneath an oversized beret of orange. "Hey gorgeous, I'm here for a room."
Victoria quickly sized him up. A pretty built guy, probably somewhere on the 230-lbs. mark. If need be she could probably take him down alone, assuming she had the first strike. "Certainly, sir. Name?"
"Keshawn. Keshawn O'Brien."
"All right. For one?"
"Yep, a single, unless of course you want to change that," he said, leaning over the counter and leering at her.
Victoria was only a fraction of a second away from plunging her pen into his eye when someone blessedly cut in. "Hello? If you two are through playing coy, I'd like a room! I've been traveling for six hours in a stuffy limo and I need a dip in a Jacuzzi to relax me!"
Victoria and Keshawn both turned to see Ai Hitachi standing there, both hands pompously placed on her hips while a suffering aide precariously balanced large parcels and suitcases in her grip. The Asian widow shoved Keshawn aside, nearly stuffing one end of her feather boa in his mouth. "Move it. Listen, my name is Ai Hitachi, I want the best suite this little spit from the sea has to offer."
Well, here was suspect number two. Victoria would have loved nothing better than to knock both their heads together. As Keshawn ogled Ai's ass, Victoria checked her log. "I'm sorry," she said, obviously not meaning it, "but our super-duper deluxe suite was taken earlier by a woman who wanted her poodle to have 'adequate leg room'." It was true, although with the size of the pooch a Chinese takeout carton would have sufficed.
Ai grew red in the face with rage, but finally said, "Fine then. The second best."
"A pair of honeymooners took it."
"Third?"
"I believe a frat boy and seven or so of his colleagues are busy thrashing it right now."
"Hey, if the place is out of rooms, you can always bunk with me," Keshawn suddenly said, flashing Ai a suggestive wink.
Ai wrinkled her nose at him in disgust. Now that she obviously had money she could afford some sort of dignity. She turned back to Victoria. "Just give me any blasted room so that I can get out of this lobby and away from HIM!"
"Room 311 is a double, overlooking the seashore, and is free," Victoria said, trying once again to look pleasant as she penciled Ai and her near-faint aide in. She handed over the keys. "Enjoy your stay."
With an indignant sniff Ai grabbed them, motioned impatiently for her aide to follow her up to the elevators, and then stomped majestically away. Keshawn catcalled after her, making her stiffen her stride but she never looked back.
Still grinning perversely, Keshawn turned and found another set of keys being dangled in his face. "Room 312, single, right across of You-Know-Who," Victoria said. "Enjoy your stay," she repeated.
"Oh I will," Keshawn said, making a small kissing motion and taking the keys. He jogged off up the stairs, no doubt wanting to see if he could catch up to the bellyaching, ludicrously dressed woman before she got off the elevator.
Victoria pretended to be fiddling with her earring and spoke into a small mouthpiece attached to one of her molars. "Bastard Player and Gold Digging Stripper have arrived."
"So I heard," Steven's voice came into her ear. "Hey, the camera's slightly askew."
Victoria straightened her nameplate, where a tiny camera had been planted to give Steven visible access. "I'm packing them all on the third floor in the east wing of the inn. Lita's room is there too; let's hope she's around and isn't mucking about with some of the college guys."
"Well from her camera angle I can see she's talking to them," Steven said. "The ones who aren't wasted yet seem to be talking to her breasts, though. Molly's changed nineteen sheets and had to be called out once to wipe vomit from the hallways already. She's threatened to let me die a slow and painful death about seven times already."
"You expect me to be sympathetic?"
"Yeah, I didn't think so either. Well, better get back to work before people wonder why in the hell Receptionist Mann seems to be talking to herself."
The counter bell trilled to her left and Victoria turned to see their final guy had arrived. Joey Gonzalez looked even more amiable then his picture as he smiled up at her. Yep, up. Victoria found herself a couple of inches taller than the adrenaline junkie.
"Hola," he greeted. "I called a few days earlier and made a booking under Joey Gonzalez. I know I said I'd be in at ten, but I had a little problem maneuvering my vehicle through these narrow streets."
"Narrow?" Victoria asked quizzically. She looked to where Joey was jerking his thumb to one of the front bay windows. Outside was a huge truck, fortunately not one of those he drove in shows but still impressive in its own right. It had been parked over two spaces. "I see… Well, I would suggest that it be moved to the back parking, where it's roomier. Would you like to give the keys to one of our valets?"
"Nah, no one touches that baby but me," Joey said, still all smiles. "Just let me sign in for my room and I'll move it myself."
"All right," Victoria said, plucking up the last of the reserve keys. "You'll have room 314, third floor, left from the elevators. Enjoy your stay," she never wanted to utter that three-word sentence ever again.
"Thanks, chica," he said, giving her a final grin and then whistling as he headed back out momentarily to move his monster of a vehicle. Victoria watched him go. She felt nothing but nice-guy waves radiating from him, but she wasn't the type to fall for that easily. Keshawn and Ai may be two blithering idiots but she had the feeling Joey was the one they had to watch out for.
"I'm taking my break," she said indifferently to one of the hotel staff also behind the counter. A forty-eight hour break, if possible. The mission was on.
>>>
Two floors up, Molly was muttering furious curses into a load of laundry. She had just collected it from a roomful of college guys who probably didn't know how to operate a washing machine if their life depended on it. Judging from the smell, it must have been some time since they had brought the particular articles of clothing home to be cleaned by their mothers. Ee-yuck.
So far the highlight of the day had been watching one of those infuriating children always running around smack right into a cleaning trolley. The little bastard had bounced onto his butt, stunned for a split-second, before letting out a hideous wail. Molly had taken some sort of satisfaction in seeing the brat's parents turn into flustered heaps of parental insecurity. Then she had to turn back to cleaning toilets again, something she didn't enjoy back in prison and definitely didn't enjoy now.
She had just been about to take a short break when something caught her eye and she ducked behind a post.
Keshawn actually did catch up with Ai and her aide. Molly listened as closely as she could.
"… Jump into a hot tub for two and get to know each other better, what do you say, Lucy Liu?" the voice that was unmistakably Keshawn said cheekily.
"I would rather have leeches drain the fluids from my eyeballs," Ai responded bitingly. "Now would you mind getting out of the way? I'd threaten to claw your eyes out but I just had my nails done."
Not being able to resist taking a peek, Molly leaned over slightly and looked around the column. She was in time to see Ai jabbing a finger in Keshawn's chest and continuing with, "And if you keep on bothering me I'll have you thrown out."
"Hey, no need to get rough, not yet at least," Keshawn replied, taking her same hand and caressing it.
Ai snatched it back almost immediately. "Let's go," she said sharply to her poor, nameless aide, tossing her hair back and leaving Keshawn to once again eyeball her backside.
That scene, while slightly interesting, wasn't what had Molly's complete attention. What she did catch, even if it did happen ever so quickly, was the note exchange. That's right, when Keshawn had touched Ai's hand he had passed along a slip of paper, which Ai had then discreetly dropped in her purse as she yanked her arm back. Considering Steven had their area wired for any phone or electronic message signals, they must have felt this low-tech way was the only safe means to communicate.
Molly narrowed her eyes as Keshawn waited for Ai to slip inside her room before going into his. Something more was up here, she just knew it. She had to find a way to get that note.
"Hey, yo, Mizz Jiffy?" a drawling male voice called. Molly froze and slowly turned around.
One of the longhaired, surfer college guys was peeking out of his room, the same one she had been called in and out of the whole morning. It was a wonder they weren't on first name basis yet. "One of my pals kinda clogged up the toilet with this monster enchilada, right? Now it's totally overflowing and flooding up the place. Could ya maybe check it out?"
For a brief moment Molly entertained the idea of holding his head into the bowl. And then she gave a resigned sigh and stomped back into the room.
>>>
Lita grinned as she spotted her target. Actually, it wasn't all that hard to pick him out, that massive truck that looked like it could swallow pedestrians whole made him stand out. She sauntered over to where Joey was locking up his prized vehicle.
She was glad to be out of the inn for a minute. Considering it was spring break there were large bunches of college kids running around and, although she couldn't be mistaken for one, her bubbly cover was an immediate attraction for the young men. That, and the fact that Steven had packed some of the most ludicrous skimpy outfits she had ever seen. While not fond of walking around in just barely enough material to cover a hand towel, she found the increasing number of stares even more uncomfortable. Wasn't this supposed to be UNDERCOVER? She merely kept consoling herself with the thought that all three d.i.v.a.s. would make Steven pay dearly after this.
Joey wasn't bad to look at either. Broad shoulders, muscular back, cute smile; if not for the unfortunate fact that he only came up to her temples he would have been perfect.
He had parked by her own car (a nice one that she wouldn't have minded keeping, although of course it was only on loan for this mission and would probably never see her driving it out of the parking lot) and so that would make things easier. Lita reached her vehicle and made sure he noticed her giving him coy looks. From there she went on to pop open the trunk. Inside was the suitcase she had 'forgotten' to let the bellboys bring up. Grasping the handles she heaved and then let out a squeak, indicating that it was too heavy for her. Putting on a show of grunting and exerting to lift the damned thing, Lita was rewarded when somebody cleared his throat behind her.
"Need some help?"
She turned her best, slightly ditzy smile on him. "Would you? I've got all seven of my shoes in here, plus more of my wardrobe! I can't spend the weekend without them."
"Right, I see," Joey said, giving a tolerant smile. He dropped his own sensible-sized travel bags to the pavement and went to go heave her suitcase out, motioning for one the waiting bellboys to bring a trolley around as well.
"Thanks so much," Lita gushed as he put the piece of luggage down and closed the trunk. "This is one of the first times I've traveled alone so I'm a bit helpless," she gave a titter. "I'm Christy, by the way."
"Joey," he replied, shaking her hand. "I'm here for the weekend too. Say, I heard there's going to be a luau or something by the beach tonight. Want to check it out with me?"
Lita blinked. That was fast; she had meant to bring that up herself after a while. It must be her dress, or lack of it, that helped the conversation along. She smiled widely and linked her arm in his. "I think that's a great idea," she'd keep this one busy tonight while Victoria somehow made sure Ai and Keshawn were out and about, enough time for Molly to snoop through the rooms. "It's a date."
>>>
Meanwhile Steven had holed up in room 213, right below Lita's. From there he had visual access to rooms 311, 312, 313 (much to Lita's displeasure) and 314, as well as any place the girls happened be right then, assuming they wore the microscopic cameras he had given them.
Now he closed his eyes and stretched out comfortably in his easy chair as Josh monitored the screens. It was time to sit back and wait for the fun to begin. He only hoped that the divas would fair considerably well in this drill, enough to keep the project rolling along. "So what's going on now?" he asked Josh.
"Not much, sir," Josh answered. "Victoria's back from her fifty-two minute 'break', one I don't think the hotel manager was too keen about. She's now dealing with a bunch of Japanese tourists who can't seem to speak a lick of English."
"Keep an eye on that situation; it could get ugly. And the others?"
"Gail as Ai has currently thrown all caution to the wind, found our camera and is giving us the finger right now."
Steven lazily opened one eye and caught Gail's ferocious glare; she was standing on the loveseat in her hotel room, giving them the universal 'fuck you' sign with utmost conviction. If one of the girls walked in here right now and saw that it would mean a hell of a lot of explaining. Fortunately, seeming satisfied that the guys had gotten her message, she stopped and returned back to her role. Oh well, as long as she didn't get too careless.
"Shelton as Keshawn seems to be getting into his part; he's by the pool and is surrounded by a bunch of girls. I thought he was supposed to be repulsive, not charming."
"I guess some girls like that. Let's hope he checks that they're not underage first," Steven said.
Josh continued. "Lita and Rey as Joey have gone for drinks at the bar. So far he's the only one of the guys she's talked to here who hasn't taken even a discreet peak at her breasts. Oh, whoops, there he goes, I spoke too soon."
"Rey's jumping at this mission all too quickly. And to think I had him pegged as the only one who I wouldn't have a problem with," Steven sighed. "What about little Molly?"
"She's just washed up from cleaning out the muck in the frat boys' room," Josh said, sounding a bit sick himself. "Oh, wait, she's let herself into Shel—I mean, Keshawn's room."
At that Steven sat up and focused on the screen showing Molly (from her point of view, of course) enter the room and lock the door behind her. "Steven? Can you hear me?" she asked in a low voice. "I'm inside. Give me a heads up if there's anybody out in the hall, would you?"
"Gotcha, Molly," Steven answered with a grin as on screen (from two angles now, her point of view and the camera in Shelton's room) Molly began to snoop.
>cont'd
So the mission (albeit fake, but the girls don't know that) is on. Will Victoria commit homicide on any of the hotel pests before the day is out? Will any of the guys Lita talks to see past the skimpy clothing (not that they can't see well through it al ready...)? Will Molly ever stop having to clean the toilets? Did any of those questions have any bearing whatsoever? Oh wait, here's one; what was in the note that Keshawn passed to Ai? All this and cynical hijinks more in the next chapter!
