A/N: All reviews will now be responded to at thebottom of achapter.


"So exactly when are you going to wake Rachel up?" Phoebe asked. She was seated on the couch next to Joey, and empty plate in her lap. Ross had relented an hour ago and let them have some of "Rachel's" breakfast, since it was now almost noon and she hadn't woken up yet. Sure, Ross had tried to surprise her in bed. However, he had given up on that after ten minutes of poking her and almost screaming her name in her ear. They all figured she must have had a good time on her date last night. But then, as Joey so bluntly pointed out, why would she have come home?

"I'm not." Ross was angry, but not exactly sure who he should be angry at. True, he had gotten up early, bought the groceries, and made breakfast, but she hadn't known that the night before. At first he had been diligent in guarding the food, which was not easy with Joey around. But after he attempted to get Rachel up, and waited a half hour, everything was starting to dry out. If someone didn't eat it, he would have had to throw it in the garbage. "She obviously needs her beauty rest."

"Ooh, aren't you testy." Chandler commented. He decided not to say anymore when Ross glared at him.

"Excuse me, but whose idea was it to make breakfast in bed in the first place?" Ross snapped.

"Is it my fault that you can't pull off a surprise to save your life? No…"

Ross closed his eyes and counted to ten. "Ok then, what should I have done?"

"Thought of something original!" Chandler exclaimed. "Or even better, got something for Rachel from you and Emma. Like, when I was little, my dad knew how much my mom loved slutty romance novels. So, every year he would buy her a whole bunch and say they were from the both of us." He smiled at the memory, then frowned. "That actually explains a lot."

"I still say you should have went with the tattoo parlor gift certificate," Phoebe called. "It's not too late."

"I don't think it's ever too late for that," Ross responded sincerely. "Joey, what did you used to do on Mother's Day?"

Joey soon got a grin on his face, nostalgic. "I would wake up early in the morning and get a fresh baked cannoli and chocolate éclair."

"Your mom must have had a pretty big sweet tooth," Phoebe said.

"Oh, no, those were for me," Joey corrected, still lost in reverie. "As I ate my cannoli, I would walk over to this authentic flower stand and get the freshest, biggest flowers I could buy. Those were for her. Then, when I started on the éclair, I would go over to the drug store and get her medication. I would be finished with both pastries by the time I got home. When I walked through the door, Ma would already have breakfast on the table."

Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe hesitated, not sure how to reply. On one had, the story was touching. On the other hand… Finally Chandler said, "I think that's sweet, Joe." The others hastily agreed.

"'Morning, guys," Rachel muttered as she stumbled through the doorway of her bedroom. Her hair was a mess, her clothes were wrinkled, and it was clear that she hadn't even thought about makeup yet. Suddenly noticing that she was in the presence of her friends, and how horrible she looked, she yelped, "Be right back." With that, she ran back into her bedroom and shut the door.

"She had fun last night," Chandler joked.

"Yeah, great," Ross bent down and reached under the cabinet. Upon coming up, he held a beautiful bouquet of lilies in a large, light purple vase. "I hope she'll be awake enough to appreciate these."

"Is that, dare I say it, jealousy in your tone?" Chandler said, incredulous, "Because may I remind you, it shouldn't be there."

"I know, I know," Ross sighed. "It's just…she's the mother of my child."

"But not your wife."

"Yeah. I guess it's hard for me to remember that sometimes." Right then, Rachel came out of her bedroom, dressed in casual jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair was combed straight, and her makeup was applied perfectly. Yet, she appeared to be a little woozy, and lost her footing a few times on her way across the living room. "Especially when she looks like that," Ross breathed, completely oblivious to the fact that she was hung over.

"Easy, man," Chandler whispered. In a louder voice, he greeted, "'Afternoon, Rach." Joey, Phoebe, and Ross echoed him with their hellos.

"Hey everyone." Rachel unsteadily went over to the counter. She attempted to get on a stool, but kept sliding off. Finally, Chandler had to grab her arm and help her up. "Whoops, I must be feeling the after effects of all that champagne last night."

"You think?" Chandler joked. To Ross, he suggested, "Maybe you should get her some aspirin and a glass of water along with her breakfast."

"Good idea." As Ross opened one of the top cabinets, he asked, trying to sound nonchalant, "So, Rach, I guess you had a great time on your date."

Rachel shook her head, then instantly regretted doing so as it started to throb. "No, it was the opposite. The guy was a total snooze fest. I kept drinking so that I would have something to do."

"You have to give him some credit," Joey observed. "He could have taken advantage and brought you back to his apartment." Aware that the others were staring at him, he added, "Not that I ever have, or ever will do that."

"Yeah…" Rachel agreed slowly. She then gulped down the aspirin and water that Ross had handed to her, then noticed her surroundings a little better. "What's this? You guys had breakfast without me?"

"Ok, Rachel, sweetie," Phoebe answered, "It's after twelve. We're only human."

"It's alright, it's alright," Rachel examined the various pots and pans, frowning, "As long as you saved me some."

"Oh, believe me, we tried," Chandler said, glaring at Joey, "but someone had to have his ten pancakes."

"What are you looking at me for?" Joey exclaimed, quickly shoving his syrup covered plate under his recliner. "I only had five! I counted them myself."

"And I rest my case," Chandler smiled smugly.

Ross sighed loudly. "Rachel, this was supposed to be a Mother's Day surprise for you. I was going to bring it to you in bed, but you wouldn't wake up. Although, on the bright side…" Ross beamed as he slid the lilies out from the corner of the counter. "I still have these."

Rachel gasped. "Aw, honey, that's so sweet!" She then gave him a big hug across the counter top. Upon sitting down, she began examining the large bouquet. "I love them! I just can't believe you remembered to get me something for Mother's Day. I wasn't expecting this at all. And I am very sorry I ruined breakfast."

Ross sent the others a warning fierce look as he hugged Rachel again. "It's ok, sweetie. How 'bout we go out to breakfast. My treat."

"That sounds great – I am so starving. Let me get my purse." Separating from Ross, Rachel trekked across the floor toward her bedroom, albeit a little better this time.

"Don't you feel like crap," Chandler smirked.

Ross grinned back at him. "At least I'm not the one that's going to tell her that she has to spend the whole evening with her mother."

"Yeah. I'm still shocked that you were stupid enough to do that, Chandler. You're lucky I actually like spending time with my mom. Otherwise you would be on the receiving end of a serious butt-kicking," Phoebe sincerely meant that. She loved having a mom again, and regretted not spending much time with her. The only thing was that she would have to go back to her apartment in a few minutes to make her mom's present. Phoebe thought she would enjoy her very own tape of Phoebe singing, and playing, her smash hit Smelly Cat. Oh, and she also meant that butt-kicking part too.

"Who's getting his butt kicked?" Rachel asked upon reentering the living room, her purse in hand.

"Oh, no one," Chandler replied, getting an idea. "We were just talking about how Ross was going to tell you something over breakfast. Weren't we, guys?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Phoebe and Joey instantly supported him, glad they didn't have to do it.

Ross stood there, momentarily wondering how that just happened. Shooting a glare once again at his three friends, which lucidly expressed his desire to kill them, he hooked his arm into Rachel's. "Come on, honey."

Rachel tried to pull from Ross' surprisingly tight grip. "Wait, I have to get my coat."

"You don't need it. Let's go." As Ross went to open the door, Rachel still on his arm, it swung in, hitting him on the head. "Ow! Monica! Don't you ever knock?"

"You're such a wimp." Monica rolled her eyes as she stormed into the apartment. When she got far enough into the kitchen, Ross and Rachel went out the door behind her, luckily unnoticed. "Ok, There's going to be a party in my apartment - "

"Don't you mean our apartment, honey?" Chandler asked timidly.

"Yeah. Whatever. Anyway, a party is taking place in our apartment in exactly four and a half hours. That only less than five hours to clean the apartment, decorate it, and make enough food to feed eleven people. Phoebe, I'm sending you to Party City - " Monica groaned as she was once again cut off.

"Oh, wait, Monica, I wish I could help, I really could, but…" Phoebe was lying through her teeth, but fortunately she had become an expert liar over the years. "See, I need to go home and make a present for my mom. I can't just show up empty handed." She leaped off the couch and skidded around an angry Monica on her way out the door."

Giving up on Phoebe, Monica started again. "Alright then, that means Joey - "

Taking advantage of the opportune time, Joey also got off the couch. "Hey Pheebs, wait up!" He gave Monica the best apologetic smile he could come up with, "My mom has been very forgiving towards me over the years. But if I don't have a present for her, she will never cook for me again!" Suddenly terrified at the thought, he ran out the door after Phoebe, shouting, "Pheebs, you know where the nearest flower store is?"

Chandler looked around the apartment, horrified. He and Monica were the only ones in it. Thinking of what the next few hours would be like if he stayed, he almost fell off his stool in his effort to get away. "Yeah, um, I'm just gonna go back to out apartment, change, and get – "

Monica planted her hands on his shoulders and forced him back into his seat. "Hold it, mister! You are not going anywhere until I get to finish a sentence!"

Seeing no other option, Chandler stayed put and listened as Monica rattled off what needed to be done, at the same time thinking about how he was stuck with her for the rest of his life.


A/N: Yeah, it is kind of short and uneventful, but I need this to be a transition chapter from the night before to the party. Hopefully it was still enjoyable.

WARNING: Extremely long review response to follow. I suggest that those who reviewed scroll down until they see their name. As for those who didn't review, well, have a nice day.

Another nine reviews? You like me, you really like me! None of my stories have ever been this successful does happy dance Ok, I'll stop now.

Rachgreengeller: Glad you think so – I'm trying to make this as funny as I possibly can. Ironically, there aren't enough humor fics in this section. And don't worry, I'll get to the other one as soon as I finish this and my other story (ok, that might be a little while, but I'll get there. No, really!).

Exintaris: Ok, one thing I gotta know – what exactly is "1,8"? I'm sorry if it should be obvious, but I can't figure it out. I'm happy I made you laugh out loud – I know it's very hard to make someone (like me) actually laugh through writing. I doubt you'll laugh as much in this chapter, since it's not really supposed to be that funny, but I hope you laugh at least a few times.

Jayne Leigh: He he, I like that one too. Another line I considered later was "We have got to start locking that door," but then I remembered that Ross already said it in a much earlier episode. So that other line will have to do (that is the line you meant, right? Otherwise I just sounded like a complete idiot. Oh well, what else is new).

Shanima: I looked at you're profile and saw that you have a Neopets account. I used to love Neopets! However, I got bored of it and gave my account to someone else. Anyway, Chandler is my favorite character. It's way fun to write him. And it's very easy for me since I'm naturally sarcastic. In a good way (mostly), if that's possible.

Miss-Bing: Thanks!

LucyGoose: That was one of my favorite lines! I had hoped that someone would mention it! Thanks!

DrKerryWeaver: Heh, I never watched Dr. Phil myself, but I thought it would be appropriate.

miss jasadin: You're the second person (no, wait, third) who said that they liked how I did Chandler. I must be really good at being sarcastic. What can I say – it's a gift.

Fttudsj: Interesting username. Anyway, yeah, I am going to finish this in time for Mother's Day (crosses fingers). Glad you thought it was funny!

Whew, that was long. Maybe I'll try to consolidate next time (how come I can think of big words when I'm writing a fanfic, but not when writing a practice SAT essay?)…