Spyro: A.C.I.D. Reign
Chapter 6: Like a Centpocalypse
Yay! The sixth chapter! I'm so proud of myself: "I'm a big kid now!" This is the part where my friend's character Puri finally comes into play, but this isn't her main part. I won't say anything about her except she's also a purple dragon, but she doesn't look like Spyro. My friend barely knew who Spyro was until about six months ago. I'll post Puri's fansite in my user lookup. Puri is copyright Purgon Draple a.k.a. Kathy.
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson had the transmogrifier waaaaay before Neopets, and I am so pissed at the fact that that Neopets stole that! Grrr….
"I still say that was a total waste of time! We went off to defeat Zoloe, and Spyro didn't even kill her!" Sparx exclaimed.
"You guys would never understand, I already explained it to you. How can you all be so insensitive?" Mica said. "Maybe it's time I told you something….no. I've never told anyone this."
"Told us what?" Aqua Monkey turned his head toward his friend.
"No. I would get kicked out of the Aqua Armada, and I love it here," Mica said firmly.
"Aw, c'mon Mica. Your secret's safe with us," Melvin said.
"Well…" Mica tented her hands nervously, as if everyone would rush upon her to kill her at the first thing she said. "I'm not a real aguamonkie." She clamped her hand over her mouth as if she had just repeated a filthy swearword.
"So what's that supposed to mean?" Spyro said.
"Erm….well….I was genetically altered. By Phaydees," she bit her nails.
"WHAT?" everyone screeched.
"And I thought you'd spaz when I said I used to be in A.C.I.D." Melvin said semi-happily.
"Well, after years of extensive crossbreeding experiments on a dying species, Phaydees' scientists revived a new species after they almost killed off all of the aguamonkies. And that new creature was me. It's a little confusing, sometimes I don't even get myself. I grew up in those very castle walls, and Phaydees looked after me like she was my mother. I know she only looks twenty-five-ish, but I don't know what age she really is. She could be twenty eight or could've alive for almost three millennia for all I know. She was in suspended animation for about five years. And she's been ruler of the Fay or otherwise known as A.C.I.D. for a long time. And the weird thing is, her parents are still alive."
Everyone looked at her like she had three heads, which wasn't anything new in Avalar, but they still couldn't believe her.
"Prove it," Bea said.
Mica showed them her thumb. It had a tiny blue star which could've been mistaken for a tattoo or a freckle.
"That doesn't prove anything. You could've had and accident with a Sharpie and the fumes might've have gotten to you. Maybe you should go lie down," Spyro suggested.
Mica sighed. "Okay, Aqua Monkey. Hit me with your best shot."
"Now Mica, I know you're a fan of Pat Benetar, but now's not the time for karaoke," Aqua Monkey said.
"No seriously. Kick me in the crotch. Don't hold back; give it all you got," Mica said frustrated.
Aqua Monkey shrugged and aimed his foot in the forbidden zone. Mica didn't even flinch.
"Is that all you got?" she rolled her eyes and went over to a drawer in one of the desks in the
Professor's lab. She groped around in the drawer for a few moments until she found what she was looking for: a sharp knife used for dissecting things. Without flinching, she plunged it through her arm amid gasps from the others. "See? It doesn't hurt. Look," she showed them her arm after she pulled the knife out and deposited it in a trash can labeled "Hazardous Waste" Her wound had healed by itself, only a smooth pale scar remained.
"You, you really are a….." Aqua Monkey managed to say. Mica shook her head to say she understood.
"Oh wait. I'm getting a ring," Mica said and she picked up her cell phone. "Yo, Puri. What's up? Holy, holy holy holy holy crap," Mica said in a disbelieving tribute to Strong Bad. "Are you absolutely sure?…. We'll work it out somehow, don't worry." she sighed. "Okay, I'll talk to you later. Bye."
"Who's Puri? And what did she want?" Spyro asked.
"Puri's part of the Water division of the Aqua Armada," Aqua Monkey admitted. "She goes undercover a lot to dig up dirt on other evil organizations bent on our destruction. And from Mica's conversation with Puri, she wasn't calling us to come over for swimming and eggplant antipasto. What'd she say, Mica?" said Aqua Monkey.
"Phaydees' has a transmogrifier gun," Mica slumped into a chair and started muttering to herself.
"Is that some sort of obscured disease? Halleluiah, praise the dragon gods!" Sparx said jubilantly.
"No Sparx. A transmogrifier gun is a type of laser that turns something into something else. Even I know that," Spyro shook his head.
"It's not that simple. How did Phaydees get her claws on one so fast? Zoloe was dying! And DSI better not be making this into a Calvin and Hobbes or Neopets crossover, " Melvin spat.
"Puri didn't say. Gawd, that Dragon leaves out details," admitted Mica.
"Puri's a Dragon?" Spyro asked.
"A purple one to be exact. But she wouldn't be interested in you, she's got her hands full with Basrat," Mica said.
"That wasn't what I was asking," Spyro rolled his eyes.
"A transmogrifier gun?" asked Bea, "hey, I know where one of those is!"
"Not now, Bea." Mica said, "Now where are we going to get a transmogrifier gun?"
"Oh Oh Oh! Me! Me! Me! ME!" Bea jumped into the air and waved her arm like an overly-enthusiastic school child.
"Bea, we're trying to think," Melvin said through gritted teeth.
"I KNOW WHERE A TRANSMOGRIFIER GUN IS!!!! THE CHERUBIC DISTRIC OF PHILAMON!! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEE!" Bea screamed. She panted and her long tongue coated in lethal saliva protruded out of her mouth.
"Okay Bea. Where did you say it was?" Melvin smiled sweetly.
The small Cherub screwed up her face in frustration. "The Cherubic district of Philamon. I can take you there, none of you have ever been there. You aren't allowed to be there in the first place unless you're a Cherub, but I think I can pull a few strings. We can just go back to the portal in the woods when we found you Spyro and Sparx and take it from there."
"Good idea, Bea," Mica gave Bea a thumbs-up, Justin Hawkins of The Darkness style.
And so, Spyro, Sparx and their odd friends went back to the forest in the Dragon Worlds where all of this began. Luckily, the portal was still there.
"Good thing too," said Mica ." I thought it would've closed up by now."
"But portals just don't randomly close up like that," Spyro said.
"Temporary ones do. Temporary portals close up very quickly, as to prevent large quantities of people from immigrating from one realm to another. Time will only tell when this one closes up and Phaydees might even have all the Portals in the remote area monitored," Bea sighed.
"Why don't you go in first, Spyro and Sparx? That way, if the rest of us don't make it, you can always ask around. Philamonians are very friendly," Melvin said.
"Okay," Spyro said awkwardly. "C'mon Sparx," he told his dragonfly friend as the two walked thought the portal.
Spyro felt a slight tingling sensation as he walked through the portal and abruptly ended up on the other side. It looked nothing like what he had expected. The first thing he noticed was the fluorescent orange grass. Spyro looked heavenward. The sky was as purple as wild irises. Green stars shone brightly and blue light poured over the land from Philamon's twin suns. There were black hills in the distance, and that's where Spyro found out where the music was coming from. Light blue creatures that looked similar to centaurs were happily singing as they flitted among the clouds on rainbow wings that shone in the sunlight. But they couldn't have been centaurs; their faces were much too wise looking and brave, but without a trace of arrogance. The fluorescent orange grass swayed in time to the music of the centaur-like creatures like a sea of macaroni.
"This is one weird place," Sparx commented.
"LOOK OUT!" a voice screamed. Melvin violently pushed the amazed Dragon and his friend out of the way.
"What did you do that for?" Spyro asked. He sat up and rubbed his head between his two golden horns. He'd have a goose egg there in the morning for sure.
"Good thing Melvin saved you there. You could have never seen that wave of babies coming." Mica said perilously.
"Wave of….babies?" Spyro asked in disbelief. Sure enough, a wave of bald heads and diapers had just missed them and were now violently sweeping through the peaceful meadow.
"Shouldn't we do something?" asked Sparx.
"No, that happens a lot. They don't really cause that much harm; they don't even leave a trail of baby poop or strained peas," Aqua Monkey said reassuringly.
"Shouldn't we get back to the transmogrifier?" Mica asked.
"Oh yeah," Bea said. "Okay guys, do you see that temple-like structure in the distance?"
Spyro squinted. On top of one of the black hills stood a structure that looked like some sort of Aztec temple meets a laboratory. All of a sudden, one of the centaur-creatures blocked Spyro's view of it.
"What are those things in the first place?" Spyro asked.
"Oh those? Centpocalypse. They're really nice and they love singing," Mica said.
"What are they singing now?" Sparx asked.
"Hell's bells!" Bea exclaimed.
"No really."
"No, Bea's serious. They really are singing Hell's Bells. I would know," Melvin said. "So where do we go from here?"
" 'I'm feelin' it! Fate fell short this time, smile…' OOF!" Mica promptly kicked Aqua Monkey in the shins.
"I don't know why you haven't gotten kicked out of the Aqua Armada yet, Aqua Monkey. You're always goofing off." Bea said. "But anyways, that temple is the Cherubic Distric of Philamon. They have a transmogrifier there, and I know exactly where it is."
"How's that?" Spyro asked. But his question went unanswered.
"It's about a two week journey there," Bea said, "But we really don't need to pack anything. I mean, it's not like we can, right? Eh, the Forest Subliminal will take care of all stuff. That's where we'll be traveling through. Let's just set off." she pointed to a wood in the distance.
So they walked through the strange looking woods, with Bea leading the way. The odd thing about the forest was that all the trees, grasses and plants were varying shades of gray. They were so odd looking that Melvin almost walked into one once, thinking it would disappear when he did, like morning mist.
"So how are we supposed to eat in this forest?" he asked.
Bea pointed to a type of fruit growing off a tree. The fruit shone like opals, and each was about the size of an egg. Bea gave the tree a violent kick with her large foot, and several pieces fell to the ground with a gentle thud.
"Eat this. It taste bad, but it has nutritional value,"
"Like Zone bars?" Melvin asked stupidly. They ate the fruit and kept walking. Aqua Monkey told Spyro and Sparx more about their homeland. But it was getting dark soon and Spyro only answered his questions half-heartedly. It was getting dark soon, and he wondered where they were going to rest for the night.
"You're concerned about lodging for the night, aren't you, Spyro. I could tell something was irking you,' Mica said concerned. "Bea?"
Quickly, Bea shimmied up a tree. Silvered leaved rained down one by one like a filigree waterfall. Violently, she shook the tree as she hummed silently to herself. Then she climbed down. She shook a good size-pile of leaves down from the tree, enough for a small Dragon to lay upon. Afterward, she thanked the tree, who surprisingly, in return, shook her twig-like hand and replied plainly, "You're welcome."
"Go ahead, Spyro," the small angelic creature motioned to him to lay down. And he did. The leaves were quite comfortable. Bea did the same for the others and herself. Then Spyro started a fire. They sat around the fire and talked casually.
"So, Bea. What's the whole deal with this Cherubic District thing? Why can only Cherubs be there?" Spyro asked.
"Well, for some reason beyond me, Cherubs think they're better than everyone else. Okay, so we're one up on Earth Angels, whoop-de-freakin' do. That doesn't make you better. The reason that Cherubs are only allowed there is because anyone who's brave enough to make it through Forest Subliminal, is considered 'worthy'. That's why I'm taking you guys this way. There are a lot of dangers in this god-forsaken forest, we just haven't- awww look! A cute little badger!" Bea squealed. She immediately walked up to the furry creature and stroked it under its chin. Immediately, it hissed at her. Surprisingly, it had a snake for a tongue and it's sharp fangs appeared when it hissed.
"SNAKE!!!" Bea screamed and jumped into Aqua Monkey's open arms.
"Too close for comfort, Bea. That's all I can say," he sighed as he put out the fire. After that, everyone agreed to go to sleep for the night. They all took up different spots in the clearing and settled down. In the next five minutes, Aqua Monkey started to snore loudly. Mica shivered, arose from her spot, and socked him in the back.
Spyro sighed. Bea said there were a lot of dangers here, even thought Philamon seemed like an overall peaceful realm. Would he ever make his way out of the forest? And what good would the transmogrifer do once they got it, if indeed they did find it. Maybe his life would be easier if he was being held captive by Phaydees, no wait, then nobody would be able to stop her from wreaking her horrible vengeance over everything he had ever known and loved. Spyro didn't feel like sleeping, but gradually, he sunk into an uneasy, restless sleep.
Freaky huh? Read the next chapter to find out what misery Ripto's going through right now. R&R please.
