Stranded Memories
Rating: PG-13 for language
Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…
Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover.
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"Hide and Seek"
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We sat there in silence, in shock from Summer. I was worried about her, I was worried about all of us. We had completely fallen apart in a matter of three weeks. A little over three weeks. In twenty three days, I had almost lost everything. Well, that was after I was going to get my son back. Life sucked.
I decided to go talk to Summer, so I left the room and entered the garage without a word. Lindsay and Aerin knew. Damn it, I hate being strong.
I had been to Summer's a few times, to check on her after Ryan and her were in the accident. Her father had been out of two then. I got into the Range Rover and drove out onto the raod. It was the first time I had left the house in three days. The world seemed so different now. I had lost something so dear, and I suppose I was seeing the world in a different light.
Little kids were running around in yards, with the parents barely watching. Didn't they know that their children could be gone the next second? They could just up and leave. Or leave unwillingly. I witnessed both with Seth. Him leaving more than once.
It had actually been his third runaway attempt. When he was twelve, he ran away. It was the first day of school, and he should of been home when I walked into the door. But he wasn't there. I don't know what had happened to make him run. I called Sandy immediately and searched. He was a smart kid, a little too smart at that age. He had called Caleb to send him money and he had bought a train ticket. Back then, I was on good terms with my dad. He had told me about five minutes after getting off the phone with Seth.
Seth didn't talk to us for oh, say, three days. He just walked away when we came into the room. He was grounded for two months, but it didn't make a difference. Seth was home all the time other than school.
I should've seen it back then that he got upset quickly and bolted when life was too rough. If I had, I could've stopped him these last two times. But I never noticed it. In fact, I had forgotten about his first attempt at running away until now.
After ten minutes, I pulled into Summer's driveway. I got out and went to the door, ringing the bell. I stood there, thinking that I had the wrong house, until Mr. Roberts appeared. I only met him a few times, about twice, because he was always away.
"Hi, Mr. Roberts, I'm Kirsten Cohen. Is Summer here?" I asked him, feeling really stupid. Why would I want to talk to Summer? He knew Summer and Ryan were together, right? He had to know
"No, she isn't. She went to see Ryan earlier this morning and I haven't seen or heard from her since. Sorry," Mr. Roberts informed me. Damn. Where could she be?
"It's fine. Thanks anyway. Bye," I walked away from the door feeling partially like an idiot. Now I had to think. Where was Summer? She couldn't be doing well. Hmm.....where would a half heart-broken teen go?
To see her comatose boyfriend.
So I got into my car and drove to the way too familiar hospital. I hadn't see Ryan in three days, so if Summer wasn't even there, I could at least see Ryan. He hadn't woken up. Summer would've told us. So I had no sons. Well, Ryan wasn't dead, and there was a very, very, slim chance Seth wasn't dead, but still. I couldn't have a conversation with either. Sure, I could have a one-way one, but I wanted the other to speak.
I wondered how Sandy was. I should've checked on him. He had always checked on me. Every so often, when I was truly torn apart, I felt like an invalid. Sandy checked up on me about every hour, making sure I was okay. I wasn't used to the other way around. When I got back home, I had to check on Sandy. So he could be the invalid for once.
Why was it that whenever you really need to see someone or something, there is never a single parking spot? Wait, what was I saying? I was thinking such normal thoughts, ones that would come from a person that didn't have two sons gone. Seth was dead, and Ryan was in a coma. What could really be much worse? Don't want to think about that.
I walked up to the hospital, such a normal thing for me nowadays. If only Ryan was the only one hurt. This was becoming too much. My sons were near death. One recovering, one closer, or dead. I wanted to go back in time and change so many things. Stop Seth from running away. Stop Ryan from going out that night. We should've gone after Seth when he ran away? Why the hell hadn't we? If we had, Seth would be here, Ryan would be here, and I would be sitting in the kitchen, being pissed at my dad, the only thing that would be wrong. Not this.
I looked around as I waited for the elevator. What was I looking for? I wish I knew.
I looked around as I waited for the elevator. What was I looking for? I wish I knew. The doors opened and startled me, pulling me out of daze. I entered it and pressed the button for Ryan's floor. The elevator was jammed, more than usual, and I was squeezed into a corner. I stared up at the lights indicating the floors as they got closer to Ryan's. People were leaving, and coming on, as I found my way to the front.
I got off, and went to his room. I didn't go in at first, trying to be as quiet as I could. Good thing too. I could hear Summer taking to Ryan. We could all talk to him, just not say sad things. I really didn't understand why, because if it upset Ryan enough, he would wake up. Which everyone wanted.
"Ryan, you really, really have to wake up. Like, now. Please. Wake up. This is bad. Everyone is, I don't even know how to explain it. But we need you. Because, well, because of Seth. Ryan, he's...." I didn't go in the room. I guess I must be in an eavesdropping mood, because I wanted to know what she would say.
"Ryan, he's gone," Summer had burst into tears. "Ryan, please wake up. Everyone is so screwed up. Cohen is gone, and his girlfriend is at your house, and we can't take it anymore. We need you so bad. Please Ryan, wake up," I felt tears come to my eyes. I shouldn't be letting her say this. Or I could. If Ryan did wake up after this, I would totally thank her.
"You know, Cohen was gonna come back. He was flying home, and..... Ryan, this is really hard. I can't imagine what Sandy and Kirsten are going through. You have to wake up, Seth is dead," Crap. I was breaking down. It was fine to hear that Seth was dead in my head, because I don't have to believe it. But hearing it from summer, it made me sick.
"Seth is dead, and he isn't coming back. But you need to. You have to. Please. This isn't fair. You weren't supposed to get hurt. It's my fault. This is all my fault. I made Cohen leave, and I told you where to go that night, and...." I pierced my lips to stop myself from making too much noise.
"I killed him, and I almost killed you! Not directly, but I was the cause of it. I did this. Ryan, you have to wake up now. Please," I felt more responsible than summer should be. I guess everyone did in their own way, but was it any of our faults? It was just the way the dice were rolled.
I hate dice.
They never work in my favor. Gambling, which I usually don't use, but Sandy and me once went to Las Vegas about 18 years ago, and I lost we'll say, a good amount, and stupid dice always work for Sandy in monopoly. All I can get is Baltic and Mediterranean. He gets free parking every time he rolls, and it's all my money. Good thing I'm not that bad with real money.
Okay, maybe I should stop summer now. It might be a good idea. So I walked in to check on her.
"Summer? Are you alright?" I asked her, knowing she wasn't. I always did that.
"I'm fine. Really," summer could see the disbelief in my eyes. "How much did you hear?"
"All
of it," I felt so bad for summer. Well, for everyone. Pity was
running amuck in Newport.
"I shouldn't have told him all of
that, shouldn't I?" summer looked away from me and wiped her
years away from her face. Mine had stopped, but I didn't wipe them
away.
"If it gets us closer to him waking up, then no," I told her. She smiled for a second and I did too, but then everything just turned into silence.
"Do you ever think that it's your fault? Like Seth leaving, and Ryan and me getting in the accident? Because I feel so bad," I walked over to summer, and looked at Ryan, then to her.
"I feel that way all the time."
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I shut the front door. No one was in the room. Good I walked over to my room, hoping to find sandy. No luck. He wasn't there. Now where was he? Why was everyone missing when I went looking for them? Was there some giant game of hide and seek and I was It and totally missed that memo?
I left the room and headed to the kitchen. I found Lindsay sitting at the island, working on homework. She had book upon book piled high. She looked up at me once she heard me.
"I hope you don't mind. My mom's being weird lately and this seems pretty safe area. Even though there's the possibility of finding my dad here...." Lindsay began rambling. She really was a Cohen.
"You
won't find our dad here. I haven't spoken to him in quite a long
time," I told her.
"How was Summer?" Lindsay
wanted to know. How could I word this? Um.....mentally broken down?
That didn't work.
"A little distraught," I answered. It wasn't a lie. It was only partial truth. Okay, like one-fifths the truth.
"Oh. I hope she's okay, but I mean she should be, she wasn't dating Seth," Lindsay commented and I thought back to when Seth had been. Life was okay, correction great. What tore that down? Oh right, the apocalypse. And the Ryan and Theresa thing.
"Right. Um, where's...." I started, not knowing where either Aerin or sandy were. There was a huge disappearing act being played on me.
"Mr. Cohen went surfing. At least that's what he said. And Aerin's upstairs. She's been there pretty much since you left," Lindsay answered as she put numbers into her calculator.
"Oh. I guess I'll go check on her," I figured I had to, this was probably the most difficult for her. Like I said before, strange country, her boyfriend is dead, and you can't really go home. Plus, I needed something to do since I couldn't check on sandy. I was never a good surfer. I was better at watching people surf.
I went to the staircase and climbed each stair slowly, just thinking about how our life was. Messed up. Once I reached the top of the staircase, I walked down the hall, but stopped at the first door on the left.
Seth's door stared back at me, why had I never noticed it before? I suppose I was too preoccupied with everything.
The door hadn't been opened in two months, it was waiting for its' owner to return. But he never would. He was gone.
There was a possibility of us going in there really long ago, at the beginning of Seth's running away, but I don't remember it. I wonder what was in there. Had there been a clue to where he was going? Had there been a way we could stop him?
Eventually, I pulled my eyes away from the sad, white door and forced myself to walk down the rest of the hall to the guest bedroom.
The door was closed, so I knocked and called Aerin's name, and I got no answer. After a minute or so, I opened the door and found Aerin lying on the bed, and she was getting up to greet me.
"Hi," I said to her and she gave me an uneasy smile. Something was up, I could tell. Now, what was it?
"Hi," she sat on the edge of the bed, avoiding contact with me. Oh yes, something was definitely up.
"Everything okay?" I wanted to know what was wrong. I had to know, maybe it would take my mind off of Seth and Ryan, and planes and cars. Damn planes and cars. They almost killed both my sons.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's fine," She attempted to assure me. I didn't quite believe that, but I still began to leave, figuring she wanted some alone time. I had reached the door by the time I heard her again.
"Actually, no," I turned back around to see her walking over to me, playing with her hands. So something was up. I knew it. "Can I talk to you?"
I felt a little bit like a mother again. Aerin felt okay with me enough to talk to me. That was good. I hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to her a lot. You know, one on one.
"Sure," I walked to her and we both sat down on the bed. For a bit, I thought she was going to leave. To go back to Sydney. But maybe not. We'd had that conversation earlier.
"Um, well, I have to tell you something," What did she have to tell me? I was getting uneasy now.
"What is it?" I kept a smile on my face as my worry grew every second. Would she just say it?
"Um....." Okay, so Aerin wasn't a good explainer. I got that. "I shouldn't tell you," She got up and began to pace. This seemed bad. Maybe I didn't want to hear it.
"No, it's okay. You can tell me," What was I saying? No, if she was worried about telling me, maybe she shouldn't. She took a deep breath before telling me.
"I'm pregnant."
Well, that was a good shock. Oh dear God, she was pregnant. Oh no. not good. Perfect timing. Worse so, it had to be Seth's. There was a possibility of it not, I needed to know.
"Is it.......Seth's?" I could barely speak. My mind was blown.
"Yes," Not exactly what I wanted to hear. My son had a pregnant girlfriend. My dead son. Oh God, this wasn't happening. This wasn't right.
"Did he know?" I didn't know how to handle this. When Theresa was pregnant, there was a thought that it wasn't Ryan's. But now, it was Seth's. And he was gone.
"No. I just learned about it yesterday," I looked up at Aerin and I could see she wasn't doing well with this.
"Wow. Um, wow. Do you know if you want to keep it?" I remember talking to Theresa about this. And kinda said something about my past. If I hadn't done it, I would be Kirsten Cooper.
"I want to," Aerin seemed nervous. She was 19, and having a kid.
"Well, I guess, congratulations," I got up and hugged her. "You're having a Cohen," I saw her laugh and smile. I amazingly was dealing with this better than I thought. "It's okay, I had one too. And he turned out okay," I could feel a tear run down my face. She was crying, totally normal.
"Yeah, he did," I felt the uncomfortable silence come and greet us. I didn't know what to say to her. What could I say?
"Would you like to see his room?" The thoughts of before I entered her room came back into my immediate thoughts.
"What?" She didn't get me.
"Do you want to go see Seth's room?" I think I needed to see it too. I missed him too much. More than the time he was gone. At least I knew he was alive. I didn't anymore.
"I suppose," She agreed, still feeling uneasy about telling me that she was pregnant. I just realized: I would be a grandmother. Oh dear God.
"Come on," I led her down the hall to Seth's room and paused at the door. I was afraid to open it. If only he was sitting in there, listening to his iPod, reading comic books. Like he used to before everything. I missed that so much. "Now, I haven't been in here for two months. No one has. So, it'll be a new experience for both of us."
I put my finger on the doorknob and turned it. I wished it had been locked. It hadn't been. Damn it.
I pushed the door open and entered Seth's room. It was like stepping back in time. Everything was as it was two months ago, or when I last went in his room. Nothing had been changed, how would that be even possible? I couldn't believe I was in there, it had been so long.
On the night stand next to Seth's old bed, sat a plastic horse, who had grown some dust since the last occupant was in here.
"Here," I picked up Captain Oats and handed it to Aerin.
"What's this?" She didn't remember her conversation with Summer earlier.
"I believe that is Captain Oats, Seth's old plastic horse. I figured you might want it," I smiled at her.
"Thank you," She took Captain Oats and I waked into the room more. I stared at each poster, taking in every part of it. I didn't think I would be back in this room for a while. It hurt to be in here. I missed Seth so much. Why couldn't he be here? He had destroyed us so badly. I had no sons. Ran was in a coma, the twenty third day soon passing, and Seth was in a plane crash.
A plane crash. Would I ever get used to that? Plane crashes didn't happen on a regular basis. And if there was one, they would find the plane. It was still missing. Where could it be? Was it at the bottom of the ocean? Had it landed on top of Mt. Everest? Wouldn't they be able to find it still?
I looked over to Aerin to find her with tears streaming down her face. Then I noticed I was crying. How could Seth be gone? Honestly, how could he be gone? He was my son, he couldn't be gone. Me and Sandy watched him grow, have problems, everything. And all of a sudden, he was gone. Just gone. He wasn't coming back.
Maybe the people on the plane were playing a big game of hide and seek with us. To see when we would find them. Would we ever? Or would we be playing this game forever? Maybe we were running past them all the time, and we never noticed. Maybe they had found the ultimate hiding place, just waiting to jump out and say, "Boo!" If only.
Our lives had become a big game of hide and seek. When would the game end?
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A/n: On the count of three… awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
paige fan - Haha! Lindsay was the illegitimate love child of Caleb Nichol and Renee Wheeler, so yeah, Lindsay and Kirsten are sisters. And since the last episode, she is going out with Ryan, since it ended with her making out with him, and Sawyer is a character on the television show Lost. And I had their friendship planned from the beginning, for some strange reason. Thanks for reading :D
alexis - I know. I was just messing around with ya! I like um too… HAHA!!
emma - Very nice review! Am I high? Sometimes I question that, and just because you don't like the way that this was written doesn't give you the right to blast it, wait, never mind. But you're review had no constructive criticism what so ever, and didn't even help with the writing of this fic. We can agree to disagree here. I'm a huge Summer/Seth shipper… sometimes, but it wouldn't have worked out here, besides wink I didn't write the Newport parts!
i-love-the-oc-and-smallville - This was originally planned to be a Newportian chapter, because I mean, It would bring the drama level up about two notches! :D
sentinel - Danka! I'd add more detail, but it is mainly from Seth's point of view, and he didn't know what was going on. I'm tempted to go back and add more if time permits!
