Stranded Memories

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen, and he runs away (knowing that it worked before), but something happens sending him into a crashing situation. Lost/OC Crossover. Anything in italics is flashbacks.

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"Reminiscence"

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The blade dug deeper into my neck. I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. "Now, you're going to do everything that I say, every little thing, or I will kill them both, and make you suffer the most."

Why had I done that, I could have just ran to Jack or something, get help, but I had to play Mr. Heroic, and look where it got me. I felt the pressure of the knife slowly life away from my neck and a wave of relief washed through me. Until I felt the blood trickling down my skin. A sickly feeling came over me that refused to go away.

Before I could get the sick feeling to pass, Ethan threw something at me. Trying to get over the sick feeling, I liked between him and Charlie & Claire. Both were still lying on the ground. "You get Charlie, I'll take care of Claire," I didn't fully understand what he expected me to do, and the fact that I felt like puking didn't help either. I put my hand up to my neck and I could feel the blood on my fingers. It wasn't life threatening, but it still wasn't the greatest feeling. I looked at the blood on my fingers for the longest time.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Ethan cursed angrily at me, grabbing the ropes from my un-bloody hand. While I had been so focused on looking at my own blood, he had already bound Claire's hands quite tightly behind her back. I never noticed that there was more than one rope in my hand. Charlie slowly began to wake up, and immediately began fighting with Ethan, struggling to keep himself from getting abducted. But he failed. I was so lost, and felt so sick.

I wanted to just run as fast as possible. Run away, it wasn't like I couldn't.

So without thinking of the consequences, I broke out in a dead run. I didn't know anything about where I was or where I was going, but as long as I could find someone that could possibly save Charlie and Claire, I had no reason to stop running. The sick feeling had been replaced. Replaced by fear, not only for me, but for Charlie and Claire… and her baby too. Shit! I had almost forgotten that she was pregnant. That was BAD!

I couldn't stop. I couldn't afford to stop.

But suddenly, I was stopped as shock took over me and before I could react, I was being pulled up into a large net hanging from a tree branch. This certainly put a damper on my plans. I couldn't believe my luck.

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I didn't know how long I was out there. Just sitting there. I could hear the music from the reception playing softly, but it got blocked out just the same as everything else. Ryan was leaving. The only reason why Newport was bearable anymore was because Ryan came.

And now he was leaving, not even giving a shit about me, or anyone else that he was hurting with his leaving. Stupid Theresa. No stupid Oliver. No, let's go a little broader, stupid Marissa. Everything could be traced back to Marissa. If Marissa had never been with Oliver, that wouldn't have made Ryan be with Theresa, and then Theresa wouldn't be pregnant, and therefore RYAN WOULDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE!!!

But the past was the past, there was no use trying to change it, no matter how much I wanted to. I just wanted to be left alone. There had to be a way to convince Ryan to stay. There just had to be!

Then I heard it. Someone was walking towards me. And when I thought that no one gave a shit that I was no where near the party, or that I was not talking to anyone. I turned to see Summer coming closer and closer. The closer she got, the more I felt like being alone, and I looked away from her.

She kneeled down next to me with a simple, "Hey."

I don't think she figured it out that I wanted to be left alone. "Hey," I said back. I was surprised that she had even heard it. I still couldn't look at her.

She sat down. Nope, definitely did not get the message. "They sent me out to find you," there was a pause. Sure, like anyone cared that much. My grandfather just married Julie Cooper. JULIE COOPER!!! And Ryan was leaving. I really just didn't wanna talk to anyone, ever again.

"Found you," I brushed it off with a simple "Uh-huh," I still didn't look at here.

"I figured you'd be stuffing your pockets with cocktail weenies," she said. I still didn't look at her as a forced smile came to my lips. I looked in the opposite direction. She still didn't get the hint, did she? Ryan was leaving, and would go to hell in one big swoop. Without Ryan I was back to being a nobody, a worthless piece of garbage.

"You're still gonna see him, Chino's not that far away." I looked down and suddenly felt the urge to talk.

"I just can't believe he's leaving," I said, almost immediately. I looked even more in the opposite direction, not wanting to confront Summer face to face. "He's the first real friend I ever had…" And wasn't that the truth. Unless you counted Captain Oats, there really was no one before Ryan. Then he came and everything changed, for the better.

"The only real friend I ever had," I said. I knew that would hit a nerve with Summer, but it was the truth. I was nearly on the verge of tears, but forced myself to hold them back. Not in front of Summer. No.

There was silence for a bit, it seemed longer than it actually was. "I know…" Summer said. So she was agreeing? She wasn't a real friend. She was just one of those people that I got to know… because of Ryan. "You have me."

HA!

"Yeah, but that's not the same thing," I said quickly. I looked at her. "You don't get it, before he got here, I was the biggest loser." Now I was talking directly at her. "This place was hell for me, okay?"

I was looking her directly in the eye, I knew that she was listening to me; she couldn't escape the Cohen rant now. "And I can't help him and I just, I can't even imagine what it's going to be like here without him." I stopped, I couldn't go on anymore. I had just literally spilled everything out to her. And she probably didn't care.

She put her hand on my arm, I was tempted to brush it off, but I just continued staring off into blankness. "We'll make it through it, I promise." I began shaking my head slowly, and looked down at her hand. I didn't feel like doing this any more. She was hurting me, and she didn't even know it.

"Could you tell them that I'll be back in a few minutes please?" I asked her, my voice sounding so hurt. I looked at her once more.

"Sure," she said as she got up and began to walk away. It made me feel like shit. I knew what I had to do, but what would it do to her? I wish there was a way to not do it, but it was the only way.

I stopped her by talking. I looked at her retreating back as she stopped and turned to look at me. "And for the record," she stopped completely and looked down at me. "The boat was named after you…"

I could see the smile beginning to grow on her face. I looked down and she continued to walk away. And that was it.

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I didn't know how long I was hanging there, how long my feet were off the ground, but it seemed like forever. After about ten minutes, I got tired of trying to find a way down, there was no point. Charlie and Claire were as good as dead, and I was hanging from some stupid tree, where I would probably starve to death.

Like anyone cared.

It was true. There was one person I knew I could trust, and I had pissed him off, the other two people that even remotely knew who the hell I was… well one was kidnapped by the other. Not the greatest thing. That was for sure.

And that is how Seth Cohen died. No I mean really, that was exactly how I was going to die. Not the greatest way to die. It wasn't like a car crash or anything like that. It was starving to death, while hanging from the limbs of a fucking tree. That would be great to tell my grandkids.

Wait. If I would die here, how would I tell my grandkids? How would I ever have grandkids? Never mind.

But before I could comprehend what was going on, I heard someone coming. Without caring who it was I started shouting. "HELP! Someone! I'M STUCK IN A TREE!! CAN SOMEONE GET ME DOWN!?"

I heard laughter. That was never a good sign and then I saw him. Ethan. Of all the people that I could possibly run into, why him? "Look what I caught in my little trap, a little rat…" he said, pushing Claire and Charlie in front of him.

I felt sick again and my hand immediately went up to my neck. The blood had already dried and felt all flaky. I swallowed hard. Ethan might have said something more, but my attention was on Charlie and Claire, while I could barely see their faces, I could tell that the both of them were terrified. They were being led by a crazy man through a jungle blindfolded with their mouths gagged and their hands bound.

Hell, I'd be terrified.

"So, if I cut you down, are you going to run away again?" It took some thought, but I shook my head. There had to be a way to help them. There just had to.

The next thing I knew I was falling to the ground quite quickly. He had cut me down without warning and the ground was hard an unwelcoming. It hurt. I curled up into a ball to try to get the pain to stop, but it didn't work.

"Get up, you stupid piece of garbage," Ethan said angrily, trying to lift me up forcefully off the ground. The idea of him picking anyone up was hysterical, but I couldn't laugh. Slowly, I got to my feet. I could feel the pain growing throughout my whole body, but I didn't scream out, I couldn't.

"You, are going to take care of Charlie," he said to me, letting go of his tight hold on Charlie. "If he gets away it will be your ass, and hers," he said, nodding to Claire. I could see her shake just slightly. This couldn't be good for her. It just couldn't.

"NOW LET'S GO!" he said angrily, pushing Claire ahead of him deeper into the depths of the jungle. I was to afraid not to do what he said.

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I was there, she was there. She hated me, I still loved her. That was how it was, that was how it always was going to be. 'What do you want from me Cohen?" she asked, looking at me.

"I just want you," I said truthfully. It was the cold hard truth. I was an idiot for running away like that. It was no wonder she hated me, but I wanted her back so bad.

"No… you don't,' she said. What? Of course I did, or I wouldn't have done this. "You had me! You had me at Chrismukkah in a freaking Wonder Woman costume and you chose Anna. You had me three months ago and you left."

She had a point. I had done this to myself.

"And I wanna make that up to you," I said. I really had screwed up, and wanted Summer back more than anything. More than anything in the world.

"It has nothing to do with me. It is about you. And it is always about you. What you need, and what you want, you know, it seems you only want me when you can't have me. You like the chase and that's all. So you know what? You can have it!"

That hurt. And I needed it. It was time for a change.

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We walked for such a long time. Nobody spoke. It was that eerie silence when you know that you're doing something you shouldn't be. I shouldn't be doing this. I was probably leading Charlie to his death, and then how long would it be until he killed me?

Me… me… me… Summer was right. I slowly began to pick at Charlie's bonds.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" he asked, his gag somewhat muffling his voice.

"Shhhhh," I whispered urgently in his ear. His hands were beginning to change colors because of the lack of circulation, Ethan must have tied these extremely tight. I wish I could have done something and not just worried about saving my own ass for once.

But it wasn't long before Ethan stopped, and that made me stop too. He raised his hand and then forced Claire to the ground. He motioned for me to do the same, so I said "Sit," and Charlie did. That was easier than forcing him down.

"Watch them," he said, glaring at me. "And if anything happens, I swear you will regret it," he spat before turning and leaving.

Quickly I took the blindfold off of Charlie and un-gagged him. "What the hell is going on Seth?" he asked. I hurried over to Claire…

"I don't know," I answered immediately. "But we have to get the hell out of here before he gets back."

"But you heard him," Charlie said, "You'd regret it… and…"

I silenced him. "Yes, but there is nothing else to do, don't you get it, he's gonna kill us whether we do what he wants or not, so it's now or later… try to escape or wait to die…"

I could see him thinking before nodding. I looked back down at Claire, she was in pretty bad shape. And no wonder the way that Ethan was handling her, like she was nothing. "Claire, Claire, are you all right love?" I heard Charlie ask from behind me. She didn't respond.

He got closer. "Claire, it's Charlie love, are you up to escaping?" I laughed inwardly. If this was at all possible, we could do it, but with the shape that Claire was in, it definitely wasn't.

"Charlie," I said, turning around quickly. "I hear something,"

I couldn't do anything as Ethan came through angrily, cursing under his breath, something about… Jack. I heard him specifically say Jack. Meaning that they knew we were gone, meaning that Jack was coming, meaning that we were gonna be saved!

He looked from me to Charlie. "Seth, what the hell were you trying to do, escape?" he asked with a sarcastic laugh. I didn't say anything as he continued to look between me and Charlie, completely ignoring Claire. "One of you has to do it…" he muttered under his breath, his eyes now focused on me.

"One of you will die…" he said, still muttering as if we weren't standing right there.

I began to get scared. I looked over at Charlie and he looked scared to, glaring at Ethan with great hatred. I would be too, if I could. My eyes went back to Ethan.

"I'll let you two chose, make it snappy," he said with another small laugh.

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Twelve. Twelve years old, and life was already hell. I didn't matter who my parents were, or anything, I was hated by absolutely everyone. No one wanted to get to know me because water polo people hated me. Because life was more than girls and sports.

I wiped a few stray tears from my eyes. That was why I had to do this. There was no other choice. Grandpa didn't know what I was doing, but he gave me the money anyways. I was running. There was no other choice. Mom and dad didn't understand, this was something I HAD to do.

I couldn't stand Newport, I couldn't stand school. And getting in trouble… it made life nearly unbearable. Nearly. I didn't tell mom or dad, they'd flip. I just had to get away for a bit. Just away from the horribleness of Newport. Who really wanted to live there anyways? It was just a bunch of rich people… being… rich snobs. Who needed them?

I sure as hell didn't.

I looked at the list of trains. I had told grandpa that I was going for a train ride. I wanted to go home. Not Newport home, but home home. The home that we moved from when we moved to Newport. Berkeley. I missed it so much.

There was none that went home. So I put my finger on the list. I knew it was childish, but it made things so much simpler. "Eenie, meenie, miney… mo." I didn't know the whole little rinky-dink poem that was spreading around school, just the way it started out.

It was how they chose between me and Minkus in gym class, but I think they had it rigged that I would always get picked last, and then they'd fight over who got me. It was really damaging. That was why I had to do this. I had to get away.

I looked at where my finger was. Los Angeles. I had been there before. I went to the zoo, and dad kept saying that I was oddly like a monkey. And I almost immediately that his eyebrows would give them a run for their money. He always laughed.

I missed those times. Now dad did a lot of surfing. He was always surfing or doing something that had nothing to do with me. I missed my dad. He never seemed to be around anymore. I wondered if they even noticed that I had left. With mom's job, and dad's job… there was never any time for me.

It sucked.

Wiping some more tears from my eyes I attempted to compose myself before walking to the ticket counter. A few deep breaths. "I'd like a train ticket to LA," I said, trying to sound older than I actually was. Twelve. Horrible age.

The man didn't even look at me. "That'll be thirty-two fifty," he said. That was one job I knew I'd never want. Train ticket giver-outer guy. I shoved the fifty dollar bill that grandpa gave me through the little slot and he told me to wait a minute. Patience wasn't my thing and after a few seconds, my foot began to tap impatiently.

What seemed like hours later (it was really just a few more seconds) he handed me the change and ticket and mumbled something about gate 13. Thirteen, how long until I was a teenager? Not long enough. I couldn't handle being a teen in Newport. No friends, small family stability. That was why I had to do this.

I thanked the man and walked away from the line. That was easy enough. I looked around at the signs. I was at gate twelve. This was weird. I was twelve, going to gate thirteen. I don't know why I found that somewhat amusing.

Slowly, I made my way over to the gate and sat down. People watching. It was fun. I watched as people rushed past me as if I didn't exist. It was nothing different than a normal school day at Harbor Jr. High.

Tears came back to my eyes once I realized that once I got on the train there was no turning back. I was beginning to have second thoughts on what I was doing. Running away wasn't about to solve this. I had to have confidence. Something that I was severely lacking.

They never stopped. The tears continued falling. I couldn't stop them. Still no one noticed a twelve year old boy sobbing in the train station. They acted as if it was a normal occurrence. Maybe it was, or maybe they just could care less. That was probably it.

I sniffled slightly, then I saw her. Summer Roberts. The one thing that made Newport seem okay. Sure she had no clue who I was and probably hated me just because I was Seth Cohen, but that didn't mean I couldn't like her. She was so pretty.

She was with her father and they looked like they were in a rush. She stopped and looked at me. I could feel her eyes bearing into me and I just looked at her too. It seemed like I was trapped in eternity, trapped forever in happiness.

Slowly I wiped the tears away some more. She began to walk over to me, but her father grabbed her arm and led her away. He said something to her, but I couldn't hear it. It was probably something like, "Seth Cohen is a loser, don't talk to him, don't even look at him…"

The thought made me want to run away even more. It wasn't like it was just the kids that hated me; it was the parents did too. Newport in general hated me. That was why I had to do this.

An announcement over the loudspeaker broke into my thoughts, "Train 349 to LA is boarding at gate thirteen, all riders please board the train now."

That was me. I looked at the ticket in my hand. As soon as I got on that train, that would be it, no turning back.

I got up and headed over towards the entrance. But I was stopped. I turned around, expecting the worst to see my dad.

"Hey kiddo," he said, picking me up. "Where are you going?"

I didn't answer him, but I let the ticket fall to the ground. I felt safe. I realized that maybe it wasn't that bad, and if he cared enough to come all the way here, that maybe… no.

He set me back down on the ground; I couldn't go back to Newport. I had to prove that I could do something on my own, and I picked the ticket back up and headed to go back on the train, I even handed the conductor my ticket, and dad grabbed me once more.

"You're not going anywhere Seth…"

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I couldn't run away forever. It was just a temporary release of pain, and it hasn't lasted forever. Ryan was dead because of it. If I hadn't have run away, then Ryan wouldn't be dead. And I wouldn't be doing this.

Charlie had Claire. He couldn't die. He seemed to have a good life. Me? Ryan was dead. Everyone at home probably thought I was already dead, why not confirm their thoughts. That was why I was doing this.

Without consulting Charlie at all I said, "Me…kill me."

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A/n: I told you that I was an evil bitch!!! And this isn't the best ending I've written. Thanks to my reviewers:

Harper's Pixie - Teehee. My idea. Goat? I don't get it. HAHA! Hota ka!!

alexis - guess what, back to Newport, next chapter.