Stranded Memories

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: "One Ring to rule them all… one Ring to find them… One Ring to bring them all… and in the darkness bind them…" Oops, wrong Domness… and section… I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: This is told from Ryan's POV.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"The Homecoming"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I opened my eyes. Where the hell was I? I heard someone scream. That wasn't good at all.

"Ryan?" Summer. Where were we? The last thing I remember was...the accident. Oh shit, had I passed out? But this place didn't seem like a car accident. "Ryan?"

"Summer?" I asked. My voice wasn't mine. It sounded so weak, like it hadn't been used in forever.

"Oh my God, you're awake," Summer came into my view. She was safe. Not harmed. She was alive. And so was I. We had survived.

"Where are we?" This wasn't the car accident.

"The hospital. Ryan, what's the last thing you remember?" Summer was crying. I hadn't seen her cry ever.

"Um, getting in the accident," I answered to her. I was really confused.

"Good. Um, let me go get the doctors," Summer rushed out of the room. I sat up, and wondered what had happened. I looked around, and saw that it was mid-afternoon. I must've been asleep for a few hours.

Summer came back soon, and doctors swarmed me. I don't think I was ever this confused. What the hell was going on? I could see Summer on the phone.

I zoned out as the doctors were checking me. I kept my eyes on Summer as she was on the phone. What was happening? Did they do this to everyone?

Summer didn't look injured, and I wondered why. We had been hit hard. I thought we were both dead. I just remember seeing that car coming, and Summer screaming and...nothing else. I barely remembered anything from the accident.

"Ryan, how old are you?" There was only one doctor in the room now. Where had they all gone? I was so out of it.

"Seventeen," Why the hell was the doctor asking me that? It didn't make sense.

"Okay, good. What's the last thing you remember?" I was getting freaked out more. They had to have always done this stuff. Unless, I was wrong. Maybe I hadn't slept for just a few hours.

"The accident," I answered him clearly.

"Good, good. No memory loss," The doctor commented. Memory loss? I had to be wrong. Something was going on.

"Why would I have memory loss?" I asked him. He was about to answer, but Kirsten and Sandy ran in. There was some other girl with her that I didn't know. Where did she come from? I was only out a few hours. I had to be.

"Oh Ryan! You're awake, you're really awake!" Kirsten was hugging me, hard. I barely could breathe. She was crying, and I think Sandy was also. Summer had walked over to the bed, and she smiled at me broadly as I attempted to breathe. That mysterious girl lingered back. Who was she? Did everyone know she was there? "I can't believe it. Finally," What did Kirsten mean by 'finally'? How long had I been out? The time was racking up in my head. It was more than a few hours.

"Mrs. Cohen, calm down. He just woke up, he's weak," The doctor told Kirsten. She slowly let go me, and I took a deep breath.

"I just can't believe you're awake Ryan. You've been out for so long," Kirsten was crying really hard. I had never seen her cry this bad. I didn't think I mattered to them this much. It was insanity.

"How long have I been out?" I asked them. They acted as though I had been out for a year. A week, tops. Maybe it just seemed like a year to them. I don't remember sleeping that long. But I did remember bits and pieces of things...

"Well, over six weeks," Kirsten answered. I couldn't believe it. Six weeks? I had been out for six weeks? I had missed so much. Was everyone fully okay? Did Seth come home? Did we even hear from him?

"Wow," was all I could say. This was insane. Six weeks. I couldn't have been out for a full six weeks. That was impossible. I wasn't a heavy sleeper. I barely ever slept sound.

"Well, you don't seem to have any memory loss, which is good," The doctor told me. Yeah, no memory loss. Except I lost six weeks of my life.

"Yeh, that's great," Sandy commented. Soon, silence had come over is. I still couldn't believe what I've been hearing. I lost five weeks of my life. I had been in a coma for five weeks.

The doctor left a few minutes later, leaving us to be enwrapped in our silence.

"So what did I miss?" I asked them, hoping nothing did happen, but yet wanting things to happen. Maybe Seth came home, but I would've missed it. Maybe someone got married or something, who knows.

"A lot," Summer answered me. That wasn't good. What had happened? I felt so lost.

"As in?" I wanted to know everything. Every single little detail. I had to know. It was killing me not knowing.

"Are you hungry Ryan? How about we get you something to eat. And I can go see when you can get discharged," Kirsten was changing the subject. Something big must have happened. Did I want to know? Maybe I shouldn't know. Since no one wanted to tell me.

"What happened?" I asked again, I wasn't letting this go. Everyone else might, but not me. I had to know. I could take it. It wasn't like someone was dead. Or maybe someone was. Oh God, that might be what they didn't want to tell me. Everyone was here that was here when I left.

"We heard from Seth," Kirsten choked out. Seth called? That was great. What was so bad about that?

"Is he coming back?" I might be able to see my brother again. He had been gone for two months. No, that was when the accident happened. Now it was three months. Three months without a word. That was too long.

"He was," Kirsten answered ever so softly, but I still heard it. Was? Did he change his mind or something?

"What do you mean 'was'? He's not coming anymore? Where is he?" I asked. I wanted to see Seth again. I had almost died, and that was a scary thought.

"We don't know where he is," Sandy answered this time, because Kirsten was breaking up again. I saw fresh tears fall from her eyes, and I felt sad. Those weren't tears of happiness.

"Isn't he in Sydney?" That's were Kirsten and Sandy said he was. He was far enough from us, he didn't have to keep running away.

"He left," Sandy was being very vague. There were too many unanswered questions going on here. Where was Seth? Was he alive? Who was that girl?

"And you don't know where he is?" I couldn't get used to it. How could Kirsten and Sandy not know where Seth was? Didn't he use the credit card to tell him he was alive and stuff like that? I heard them talk about that two weeks into his disappearance.

Those were bad times. Kirsten cried constantly, and Sandy was calling every single person he knew for information on where he might be. Then the credit report came in. Kirsten slowly stopped crying and held her pain inside, and Sandy didn't call people anymore. We mostly had given up. Except for the constant messages on his answering machine.

"We know where he was headed to," Sandy offered me. If they knew where he used to be, and where he was headed, couldn't you find him?

"Where's that?" My head was still spinning. Six weeks. A lot must've happened in six weeks. A lot more than I imagined.

"He was headed home," Kirsten blurted out all of a sudden. Summer was staying quiet now. She wasn't even looking up from the floor. Something was up, badly.

"If he was coming home, wouldn't he be home?" I didn't get it. Flights weren't that long. Especially from Sydney. A few hours, tops.

"He would be, yeah," Kirsten answered. She didn't look up at me either. Only Sandy was looking at me. Would they just tell me? I was sick of this game.

"Well then where is he?" Where the hell was Seth? I wanted to know.

"We don't know, Ryan," Kirsten answered me sternly and strictly. I was a little surprised from the tone in her voice.

"Sorry," I apologized like I used to when Dawn would raise her voice. I always apologized right away before she screamed at me more.

"No, Ryan, I shouldn't have raised my voice," I still had to get used to the Cohens. They weren't my old family. "We didn't want to tell you all this right away because we figured it might for too much for you."

"I can take it," I knew I could. It wouldn't be so bad, right? Kirsten sat on the bed next to me.

"Well, when you got in the accident, I called Seth one last time to see if he would answer. And he didn't. But, um, about a week after the accident, he finally listened to his messages. And he rushed to the airport to come home," Kirsten sounded like she heard everything from Seth. Maybe Seth was home. "And he got on a plane. Oceanic Flight 815. He called us a second right before he got on the plane," I felt a bit uncomfortable hearing all this. What was Kirsten getting at? Where was Seth?

"Uh, we went to go get him at the airport," Kirsten continued, tearing up again. "The plane didn't come down on time. His girlfriend was on a different flight, and we met up with her. Aerin, back there," Kirsten looked back at the girl. So that was who she was. Aerin, Seth's girlfriend. That surprised me.

"And we waited. And they, um, called us into an office and said that they lost the plane's signal over an hour before the scheduled landing. So they thought the plane landed somewhere else, maybe because of weather. But it didn't," Kirsten was crying hard. My heart sunk. This wasn't the story I was prepared for. "Um, Sandy, can you finish it? I can't do it," Kirsten got up and walked back.

"Yeah. Um, they searched for the plane," I really wasn't ready for this. "But, uh, they couldn't find it at any other airports. They searched for a while for the plane. But about six days ago, the airport and everyone, um, stopped," I was stunned. "They stopped looking for the plane, and they had a memorial service two days ago."

Seth was gone. He was dead, and never coming back. This was a perfect way to wake up after six weeks. Lovely.

I caused Seth to die.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A little bit later, everyone left me alone, even though I didn't really want them to. It had gotten late, and I was still dealing with everything.

Seth was dead. He was gone. No chance of coming back. What were the last words I said to him? Directly, something about me and Summer. And he hadn't been happy.
He hadn't said goodbye.

I never got to say goodbye to him. I always thought I'd see him again, at some point in our lives. But now, that was gone, and so was he.

I laid back down on the uncomfortable hospital bed. This was insane. Newport had managed to get more messed up. Was that even possible? Chino wasn't even this messed up. Chino didn't have comatose people, and plane crashes. Newport certainly did.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" I could hear Summer talking. Great, they were talking about me, thinking I was asleep. I had told them I would do that.

"I don't know. Seth was his brother, and..." Kirsten didn't finish. She didn't need to. Everyone knew I would be taking this hard. I lost two brothers in two years. A new record.

"Ryan's strong. He's not gonna like, run away, like Seth did. Right?" No, I wouldn't run away. I couldn't run away. Where would I run? Seth certainly found a good place. Sydney, where he could start a new life, and forget about us. And when he did remember, he died.

"I hope not," I felt so out of it, alone in this dark hospital room. Everyone was talking about me, and I was supposed to sleep, which I couldn't do, and I had to hear about my brother's death.

I was looking out at the block of light when I saw someone disturb it. I quickly closed my eyes, and waited for the person to come in.

"Ryan, are you sleeping?" Summer. The person I would talk to. I couldn't say anything to Kirsten and Sandy, I just couldn't.

"No," I opened my eyes, and sat up. She flashed a quick smile and sat on the bed.

"Good. How are you feeling?" Summer tried to look happy.

"I'm fine. Do you when I'm getting out of here?" I wanted out. I didn't know where really I wanted to be, I just didn't want to be here.

"Two days," I was hoping for tomorrow, but I figured that would be impossible.

"Crap," I muttered under my breath, and Summer was looking at me confused. I didn't want to say anything else, but I didn't want to be left alone.

"I can get some newspapers and stuff if you want to read them," Summer offered.

"Sure. Whatever," I don't really remember much of what happened the rest of the night, and the next day for that matter, my head was so full of new things. I had to get back on track. Losing six weeks of your life, and trying to pick up the pieces was hard. Kirsten and Sandy were by me almost every second, and they said how much they missed me, and everything. But my head was too stuck on Seth, and how he was dead.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I didn't talk much to anyone since waking up, except Summer. It was my second day of being awake, and I was still getting used to everything.

Summer walked into the room, being slowed down by a huge pile of magazines. My first urge was to help her, but I really couldn't do anything. I wasn't allowed out of bed and I was incredibly weak.

She dropped all the magazines and newspapers on the bottom of my head, and I saw that she was exhausted.

"There," She seemed satisfied, even thought some of the magazines were falling off the other side. She quickly saw that and pushed a string of hair back behind her ear and began to pick up the magazines.

"What are those?" I asked her, afraid to know what she was doing with them. There were weekly magazines, and fashion ones, along with a few newspapers.

"These are to help you figure out what you missed during your extended sleep," I could tell Summer was in a much better mood. It had to have been hard while I was in the coma. For everyone. I mean, Seth was gone, and I almost was.

"So I also need to know what's popular in fashion?" I noticed that I sounded as though I was in a better mood. Summer did that. She made me smile, which I rarely did.

"No. Those are for me. I figured while you read all the newspapers and stuff like that, I should read too. Plus, I am so behind on reading. I mean, I took magazines here to read, but all I could do was stare at you, so that really didn't help," Sometimes I wondered how I had hooked up with Summer. I mean, she was very different from all the other people I dated. What was that, three? I had been with a ton of people, but I never cared about them and dated them. Marissa was just...too much, and Lindsay was too different sometimes. Theresa was gone, I hadn't seen her in about a year. Summer made jokes that I could laugh too.

"Thanks," I smiled at her and she pulled a chair close to me. I sat up and looked through the enormous pile of magazines. I was mostly interested in the newspapers. "Good thing you brought these. I can't wait to read how Johnny Depp spends his life," I told her sarcastically. I didn't know what had come over me, I was just all of a sudden happy.

"Well, I did. And the stepmonster. She's a big fan of him. Especially in Ed Wood," Summer kept going along with the joke. She looked so much better from yesterday. That was when I saw her broken arm. I really hadn't noticed it before. And when I looked up at her face, I saw the scar. It was directly above her right eye.

"When do you get the cast off?" She seemed a little surprised when I asked her. Right. I was thinking all that in my head, not saying it out loud. She had no clue what I was thinking about. I hated doing that.

"Um, in a few days. It's taken a while to heal. It broke in like, five places. I'm so sick of this damn cast," she commented, trying to keep up the same upbeatness she had seconds ago. I could tell she had her head in a different place now. The accident.

"That's good," I didn't know what else to say. I was at a loss for words. Like that was uncommon.

"You seem in a much better mood than yesterday. How do you feel?" That was a tough question. My head was so swarmed with thoughts, I couldn't think that straight.

"I guess I'm okay. I mean, nothing bothers me. Except the obvious really," I commented to her as I picked up a newspaper. It was from three weeks ago.

"Well, you'll deal. I did. And I mean, yeah. You're like, super strong, and not very emotional. I, on the other hand, am a wuss. A cry baby," Summer told me. She didn't quite know how to describe what she wanted to say.

"So how did you deal?" I asked her. I didn't know how to react to all of this. I mean, I lost six weeks of my life and my brother was dead. How was I supposed to react?

"I broke down...and came here...And told you everything. Like, that I killed Seth. Do you remember any of that?" Summer bit her lip.

"Not really," I did have a vague recollection of something like that happened. Hearing her crying, that's what I remembered. But nothing else. Everything was jumbled in my head.

"Good," She commented and I looked at her, perplexed. She smiled at me and picked up one of her magazines. "Oh, right. Um, I have, like three of the same newspaper, the one with the plane memorial, and I got one for you. You only missed it by like four days. I have a few newspapers from when it first happened, and like one every week after that. You can keep whatever you want," Summer told me.

"It's fine. Kirsten and Sandy will have some of them too," I told her and she looked back at the pile of magazines. I pushed the old newspapers away. I grabbed the one I saw three of and picked it up. In big letters, it had 'In Memoriam,' and it went on to describe the flight. The next page started the small bios. All it said was how old the people were at the time of the crash, and a bit about them, like where they lived. It was alphabetical, so I looked up Cohen.

And there he was. The dead Seth was staring at me, smiling. It was his high school photo, for graduation. He would've graduated in two weeks when he left. He didn't care anymore. He left hating me, Summer, his parents, everyone in Newport.

And we never heard directly from him again.

I looked around at the people above and below him. Boone Carlisle, Michael Dawson. Those people had lives before this, and now, they were dead. Seth had joined the other 174 people in heaven.

I didn't notice Summer was looking over me, Seth's picture had me enwrapped. I would never see my brother again. Seth was a much better brother than Trey had ever been. Seth cared, Trey just tried to be cool. But Trey did give me one thing I couldn't ask for more. A second chance.

What chance was I at now? Three, four? I think it's three.

"You okay?" Summer finally asked me, and I jumped. I was so into my thoughts, I forgot where I was.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," I told her. I still was getting used to the idea of Seth being dead. I missed the memorial, and I never got to say goodbye. He never said goodbye either.

Summer didn't press me any harder, which I was glad about, and I began to read the main article for the memoriam. It said something of a memorial being put up at LAX. I wanted to see it. I wanted to say goodbye. Even though the idea was gruesome, I wanted to do it. I had to say goodbye.

Summer just read her magazines as I looked sadly at the articles. Everyone of them said that the plane was gone, everyone was dead. Everyone had lost hope. No one was hoping for a miracle. So why should I?

"I'm gonna go see when I can get out," I don't know what caused it, but I had the sudden urge to leave. Badly. The hospital was bothering me.

"Um, Ryan, I don't think you should. You're weak," Summer tried to argue me. I ignored her and eased myself off the bed. Okay, almost falling. But only once. Just once. That was better than twice.
Summer helped me up, and I felt more like an invalid than ever. I couldn't even walk without help.

That was freaking pathetic.

"Summer, I'll be fine. I just lost my balance. I can walk," I reassured her, and I looked over. She didn't seem so sure.

"I guess. But how about I walk next to you? You know, just in case," Summer offered. I knew I wouldn't be able to get away from her.

"Fine," I gave in and I saw her smile. She helped me to the nurses' station. "I need to speak to my doctor. I want out," I complained to the nurse.

"Um...sure. What's your name?" She seemed a little taken aback from me. Yeah, I was demanding stuff. But I had been in a coma for six weeks. And my brother died. I wasn't in the best mood.

"Ryan Atwood," I decided to be nicer to her, since the nurse did seem like a good person. But I really wanted out of this hospital. I wanted to be in the real world. Maybe not the real world, but one close to it.

Seth was dead. That thought kept coming up to me. I couldn't get used to it. Obviously everyone else had. I mean, Seth wasn't coming back. And why not? Because of me. I made him leave, and the accident made him want to come back. It was my fault Seth was dead.

The nurse left me and Summer, and I leaned on the desk. I was tired. I didn't quite understand why though, since I had been sleeping for over a month. Summer didn't say a word to me. I must've been freaking her out, since I just randomly decided to get up and leave.

We stood there in silence, with her right by my side. I couldn't believe I had Summer. This was why Seth had obsessed with her.

And yet, now I understood why Seth had been so angry. Before, I just knew that Seth was friends with Summer. I didn't understand that he still liked her. Loved her, maybe. But I got her and we both kind of killed Seth.

The nurse finally came back after a few moments, with my doctor. I had only seen him a few times, like when I first woke up, and when I went to get tested earlier this morning. It was still early.

"Ryan, you're up. Standing, I mean. Are you all right? Do you need to sit down?" My doctor immediately asked.

"No," I lied. I really did need to sit down soon. My legs were killing me. They were so weak.

"Then what's up?" I hated doctors that tried to be your friend, and thinking that they're on your side. They weren't. They were doctors to most people. Nothing else. I mean, sure, I wasn't being nice. But I had bad interactions with doctors. They always seemed to be my friend around other people, and then, when we got alone, he yelled at me. Doctors, dentists and the like around me were not a good combination.

"I want to know when I can leave," I was giving the guy a break. I didn't know why. Okay, yeah, he probably saved my life. That might be why.

"Um...I just got your tests back, and everything seems fine. I mean, you should stay, so you can regain your energy, but you can leave today if you'd like," Finally, a doctor told me something I wanted to hear.

"Great. I'll call the Cohens," I still didn't call them my parents. Did I think of them as my parents? They were like parents to me, more than my own were. But it felt so weird saying that. When I said, 'my parents' I associated it with my drunken mother and my father in jail. "Thanks," I managed to say as I pulled Summer away.

We got into the hospital room and I dialed the numbers of the Cohens' on Summer's cell phone. She still hadn't said anything, but I didn't think about it.

A half an hour later, we were still waiting for the Cohens.

"Where are they?" I was getting impatient.

"Calm down Ryan. They'll be here. Just cool. Why do you have to get out of here so soon?" Summer was sitting with me.

"I just hate hospitals," I commented her, looking down the way to the elevator.

"I noticed. But Ryan, are you sure you're ready to leave? You did almost fall earlier," Summer warned. I didn't care. I could see Kirsten and Sandy walking closer.

"So, kid. You ready to go home?" Sandy asked me. Oh God yes I was. I wanted to go home so badly.

"Yeah," I began to walk out with Kirsten and Summer while Sandy filled some of the papers out. I could tell Kirsten had been crying again, her face was red.

Me and Summer parted ways once we got to the parking lot. I went with the Cohens, and she went home. I had half of the books. She had all the fashion ones.

We drove back to the Cohens, and when I walked in, I saw that nothing had changed. At least that was one thing the same.

"He left us two messages. Seth did. Do you want to listen to them?" Kirsten asked me. I didn't know how to react. He had called, that was good.

"I guess," I followed Kirsten and Sandy to the kitchen where Kirsten played the messages. There were only two on it.

"Mom… Dad… its Seth… what the hell is going on? What happened to Ryan? I'm sorry that I left, but Ryan is just Ryan… I don't know what I'll do if he died. Uh… call me back, correction. I'll call you back. I'm getting a plane home…" I couldn't believe it. Seth was speaking; he had come home for me. This was too much.

"And… and… there is someone else coming too… just I hope you can forgive me. And I really hope that Ryan is not dead, but it sure as hell sounds like it. I'll talk to you later then…" The first message ended. I didn't know really how to react to hearing my dead brother's voice on the answering machine.

"There's another one," I hadn't expected there to be a second one. I still couldn't believe Seth was gone.

"Mom… dad… I'm coming home. I'm on Oceanic Flight 815… I'll be home by… well I'm not very good with time zones, but I'll be home soon. Please forgive me…" I still had no clue how to react. I looked up at Kirsten and Sandy, and found Sandy holding Kirsten, who was crying. Why couldn't I have emotions?

These messages really made me think. I had lost my brother. Seth was gone. Forever. He wasn't going to come back. I couldn't help him come back like last time.

I didn't say a word to Kirsten and Sandy as I stepped out of the house and went into the pool house. I fell on the bed in confusion. This was so much more comfortable than the one in the damn hospital.
I looked around the pool house. Summer had left some things in there, and I sat up to look at the few newspapers.

I didn't go eat, I was just staring at the newspapers. Ideas were formulating in my head, bit two things stopped me. First, Kirsten and Sandy were not going to let me leave. Last time I left, I didn't come back. Neither did Seth. And second, I was still freaked out by driving cars. I could barely be in one. The accident kept coming in my head. At least when you're a passenger, you can close your eyes.

But I had to do something now. Say goodbye.

I couldn't understand why I was so adamant about it. I didn't really want to let go of my brother, I had to. Seth was gone. And it would torment me. Kirsten told me that they didn't set up a gravestone, but it was growing in her mind. She still hoped Seth was alive, but her hope was falling fast.

He might still be alive, I don't know, but if he was, did we expect he'd make it back to Newport? They couldn't find the plane, where the hell was it? The more we kept hope in our minds, the more we were hurt by it.

It was getting really late, and Kirsten and Sandy had just gone to sleep. I was gonna say goodbye finally.

I grabbed the phone and dialed Summer's number. I checked the clock. It was 1:45.

"Hello?" Summer answered drowsily, and I was glad to hear her voice.

"Hey," I greeted her.

"Ryan?" She started, "What's up?"

"Can you come over? I was thinking we could go somewhere," I proposed the idea to her.

"Like?" She didn't sound convinced. Damn.

"LAX," I probably sounded crazy to her. I think I was.

"Ryan, why now? It's...two in the morning. Way too early. Why do you have to go now?" Summer kept asking questions. Why couldn't she just agree?

"This is the only time I can got out. Plus, I can't really drive," I told her. She didn't answer right away.

"Fine," She agreed.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A/n: Ali is such a better writer than I am!

alexis - Haha! Okay, for those of you who wanted to know… the 24 reference was the "every nerve ending in your body on fire" line and in the flashbacks… STEVE JENKINS!

Keks - xD… Seth… edge of death… hmmmm…

The Pirate Illusionist - CRAPOLA! I meant it was on Thursdays at 8… I am so used to people asking me when Lost was on… haha… sorry.

Harper's Pixie - In Chapter 11… Charlie, the very end… or Chapter 10, because he believed what Ethan had said about "The plan" and whatnot. Everything happens for a reason. It was Ethan's plan for just in case he survived that he would have heard that… but thanks!