EYES

Jack squatted, ducking the staff fire filling the air. The rocks that SGs 1 and 9 were covering in were getting blasted to pieces by the jaffa. The ground shook from aerial bombardment, cordite burning his nostrils as he fired another burst to cover his movement. Not two feet behind him, SG-9's sergeant opened up with his M60, stalling a flanking maneuver. Brass cascaded down his back, deflecting off his vest as his men fired and moved, desperately trying to tie down the force advancing on Janet's position.

Another shaky dash, glider fire forcing him down. He was having trouble seeing as dirt and burns built up on his face. Another burst of fire, and he was running again. He hit the large rock hard, ears ringing as he looked around. Dixon smile was little more than a rictus grin as he put a three round burst into a jaffa.

"Hi Jack, thanks for coming!" he yelled over the gunfire and explosions. "Got those mags for me?"

Jack reached into his webbing, pulling out three thirty-round magazines for Dixon's M-16. A near miss sent rock chips flying into the back of his neck.

"I thought you said there were SIX jaffa!Where'd you learn to count?"

Dixon ignored the dig, tapping the magazine before reloading and chambering a round. Jack covered him, cutting down another jaffa.

"Ships only started coming down once you radioed you were through the gate. Something tells me they're throwing this party in your honor, Jack."

An LAW exploded off to their right, past Carter. Damnation, Jack thought to himself, save those for the gliders! His radio flared up, as he lay down a prolonged burst to try to pin down some jaffa.

"Colonel O'Neill! Our position is compromised...we're not going to be able to hold the gate much longer!"

His P90 jammed, and Jack cleared it with one hand as he replied, "It doesn't matter, we're not going to able to hold this position that long."

He could hear the meaty bark of Carter's SCAR as she strafed closer to him, the heavier rounds flat out punching jaffa off their feet. It was comforting, knowing she was near. She was perhaps fifteen feet away, providing cover for him. The firepower was part of it, of course, but it was more a peace, a sense that while she was there, everything would be okay. She's good at what she does, Jack reminded himself, Yeah, that's it. Janet's voice crackled through the radio on the police-issue 10-33 frequency. The other chatter vanished instantly, the emergency band taking over.

"Colonel, I need more time to stabilize."

Jack could hear the crack of an MP5 in the background, the familiar sound of staff blasts hitting dirt. Looking up, he saw the jaffa regrouping for another advance. Their fire concentrated into a suppressive mass of energy, forcing most of the SG teams' heads down. Jack snapped off another quick burst, realizing that he had maybe a quarter of his magazine left. He heard Carter off in the distance.

"Sir! We HAVE to fall back!"

He didn't turn, simply accepted the facts. His 2IC was right. They were about to be overwhelmed, one way or another. Either the jaffa would kill them all due to their exposed position, or simply smother them in the bodies of their dead. The Tau'ri soldiers had limited ammunition, smaller numbers, barely any cover, and an enemy willing to expend however many lives it took to obliterate them.

Dixon fired steadily beside him, teeth gritted. Squatting, Jack prepared to move, to call out the threat. Suddenly, he stopped. He spotted a jaffa in the bushes to his left. They had been flanked and suppressed. Cursing, he half stood to advance to better cover from which to engage them. The blast took him from the right, impacting just below his sternum. He went limp, legs unwilling and unable to support him. He fell, listening to the sounds of combat, to the screams over the 10-33 channel. He felt the earth shake, heard Carter screaming for him. Her face closed with his, and her voice was muffled as she tore his shattered vest open.

It felt like he was falling away from her, falling into this godforsaken and utterly remote planet. Her bright blue eyes burned into his, the expression familiar. Azure orbs burnt into his consciousness, never changing place as she became more distant. The memory changed again and again, but the pain seeing it caused did not. His heart twisted as he remembered...

"Sir, just GO."

The first time he had seen her with that expression, it was in Apophis's new mothership, staring at him from the other side of a force shield. Her eyes pleaded, begged for him to save himself, but he could not. He raged against her fate.

"NO!"

Then, trapped in an instant, he saw everything very clearly for the first time. Tears ran down her face, her pleas beyond words. He knew that what he felt for her was very real, and that she felt the same way. He knew that he would sacrifice anything for her. He knew that losing her meant losing his soul.

The scene changed, and it was again those haunting azure orbs, filled with concern. They were underground, living out a lie to power a city. She had been frightened that they had 'night sickness', but stood by him, holding him close that night. When their true selves were restored, they filled with pain and that same expression. The same meaning was clear in her eyes- 'I love you, and it hurts me so much.'

Again, it changed. Those same eyes, that same pain. The darkness was creeping in now, around the edges of his vision. This time, it was underwater, the freezing cold seeping into his very bones. He held Carter's hand, and they stared at each other as they ran out of air, desperate to say so much but helpless to do so. They had been trapped in a compartment of the submerged Goa'uld mothership, their friends trying to save them and failing. He felt the chill again, coldness as those eyes burned into his soul, silent pleas and endless depths to be explored haunting him. Somehow, though, it had changed.

Then, the chill was gone, his body slowly warming as he recalled the cell beneath Nirrti's citadel, Samantha pressed up against him, looking up at him, eyes begging for a solution. There was a change that time, an acceptance. The message was no longer 'I love you, and it hurts me so much.', it was simply 'I love you, please don't ever leave me.' She had accepted her death, and that wounded him to the core. But the fear, it was gone. A piece of that pain had fallen away. He had stroked her hair as she slept, her body wracked with spasms.

The last time he could remember seeing that expression was sitting with her near the old Alpha Site after subduing the super-soldier. That same expression, the unconscious plea to hold her. There was no heartbreak, no vast internal struggle...simply an acceptance. He held her until the medics arrived. Confused, he wandered back to the gate with a silent Teal'c. He could still feel her next to him, holding him. Again those eyes, that same pain. He looked into them, and another piece of that pain was gone. Her eyes had spoken again, and said, "I love you. Never let me go." As the world went dark, the images and memories faded. Burnt onto his retinas were afterimages of her bright, blue eyes.

He saw them in his mind as he was discharged from the infirmary. He thought of them, hoped as he heard a knock.

"Hey sir. Heard you up and around."

He turned to see Carter there, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. She stared as her shoes, eyes hidden.

"Yeah ... err. Still a little tender but they said I could go home."

She tried to make conversation, looking him in face now. Her eyes were a mystery to him, everything carefully hidden. She turned away.

"We're lucky that staff blast hit you where it did. That new vest inserts works well."

He jerked slightly, feeling the pain on his ribs. A reminder of the sacrifice another had made.

"Didn't help Fraiser much."

Carter sucked in a breath. He had struck a nerve, and immediately regretted it.

"No."

Silence. Regret.

"How's Cassie?"

Carter perked up, willing to talk a little.

"She's a strong kid, she survives ... you know."

Silence again fell. He nodded, pulling on his shirt. Her eyes were boiling with emotion, striving to keep it all in check.

"Yeah...you speaking at the memorial?"

"Sir ... I ... I just wanted to say...when you were lying there I..."

Tears welled in those eyes, those beautiful eyes. He stared at them, enthralled.

"I'm really glad you're okay."

Her pain was incredible, confusing. The tears flowed freely now, unable to stop. He stared at her, realizing that instead of the message changing, it had been the same all along. She only let him see part of it. He looked her in the eyes, and saw it all for the first time.

'I love you, and it hurts me so much. Please, never leave me. Never let me go.'

He looked at her, standing there, crying and soul bared.He reached out for her.

"C'mere."

It felt so right to have her there, in his arms, cradling her as she sobbed. She was his everything, and he wanted to take her pain away. He would give anything for her, if she asked. As he held the woman he loved more than anything else in the world, he quietly wondered:

'I wonder what she sees when she looks in my eyes.'