Fading Away
When we last left Jack Spicer, he had just discovered that his left hand was missing after a small gloating session. And he handled this situation the only way he knew how. "AHHHHHHH!" By screaming like a little girl.
"AHHHHHHH! What happened to my hand?" Jack screamed in fright. He took a closer look, hoping to find even the slightest trace of his left hand, but it was gone…like it wasn't there at all. "What did you do?" Jack pointed to Katnappe menacingly with his remaining hand.
"What? Why are you blaming me?" Katnappe said, snapping out of her shocked state.
"Everything was fine before you slinked in!" Jack said.
"Jack, I'm in a cage, surrounded with a force field…I don't think I can do anything to hurt you, not that I don't want to." Katnappe stated.
Jack thought about this. She had a point. She couldn't do anything to him from there. Then an answer popped into his head. "You must've used some kind of Shen-Gong-Wu on me!"
"As if! I don't have any on me. Oh let me guess. You think I used the Invisible Hand Chopper. An invisible shen-gong-wu that no one can see and chops peoples hands off. Yeah right!" Katnappe chuckled, though she was still creeped out by the whole hand disappearing thing.
"So you confess!"
"I was joking!"
"Lies! Dude-bot get me the real torture devices!" Jack shouted. "We'll get the truth out of her and…Dude-bot?" Jack turned to see that Dude-bot was gone. "Where the heck is he?"
"Over here." Dude-bot waved. Dude-bot was in front of a monitor screen and was watching it intently. "Look, a midget is jumping into a blue portal. Isn't that just great?"
"What the?" Jack quickly pushed Dude-bot out of the way and looked at the screen. During his fight with Tommy Error (See Unhealthy Competition) Jack had put a small Spy Bot on Tommy and used it to transfer images of his new enemy. The monitor showed an image of Tommy Error jumping into a strange blue energy portal. "That sort of looks like…" Jack remembered seeing a portal like that a few hours ago when 5K4T and a black robot fell out of one. "But what does that portal do?"
"It looks kind of like a time portal to me." Katnappe said when she saw the image. "Who's the small guy and what's with his hat?"
"That's Tommy Error. He calls himself my rival but until yesterday I didn't even know that he existed." Jack explained. "But why would he want to go back in tim-?"
"Probably to kill you in the past so you will cease to exist in the future." Katnappe interrupted. Jack and Dude-bot looked at her strangely. "I saw it in a movie once."
"But then that means that…" Sudenly Jack's entire lab started to fade.
The walls, the wiring, the computers, everything was starting to go translucent. Katnappe's cage disappeared and she gracefully landed on the ground before the cage reappeared a second later. Even Dude-bot became ghost-like fading and unfading before becoming solid. Then it was over. The lab was back to normal. "That could happen." Jack finished his sentence.
"Wow that was cool!" Dude-bot smiled happily, despite nearly being wiped out of existence. "Let's do it again!"
"This isn't good!" Jack slumped to the ground. "Tommy's going to change the future and destroy everything I've ever built…before I've even built it!"
"Hey cheer up." Dude-bot patted Jack on the back "At least you've got your hand back." Indeed, Jack's left hand had returned, but it looked transparent and was quite eerie to look at. "By the way, your girlfriend's escaping." Dude-bot pointed to an escaping Katnappe.
"What? Chameleon-bot! Capture Ashley!" Jack ordered.
"My name's Katnappe!" Katnappe shouted. But then an extendable arm slinked from the shadows and hoisted her off the ground.
"Hey cousin Chameleon-bot!" Dude-bot greeted his shape-shifting comrade.
Jack started pacing across the room, trying to think of a plan to stop Tommy. "Okay, the first step would have to be to infiltrate Error's lab. But how am I going to get past security." The Spy Bot had pinpointed the location of Tommy's base. Unfortunately it was surrounded by a massive security system. Complete with computer-guided turrets/anti-air cannons, electric fences and a bunch of rabid guard dogs.
"A full out attack isn't a very good idea." Jack imagined an entire fleet of Jack-bots getting blasted by defense turrets. "I need a crack team of mercenaries to take me through the defense grid." Jack wondered who among his allies he should recruit. His eyes fell on Katnappe who had heard his plan and had put on her most innocent, expression. "Well that's one." Jack mumbled as he put Katnappe's name on his list.
(A few minutes later…)
Any imbecile can tell you that the criminal underground is brimming with mercenaries, rogues who would do anything for the right price. Well, it's hard to give them an offer when they keep laughing at you, just ask Jack. Most of the underground bounty hunters considered Jack a mediocre evil genius after hearing how he kept losing to the Xiaolin Dragons, who they assumed were just kids. And most of Jack's most affective allies were unable to assist him. Le Mime had trapped himself in an invisible box and Cyclops had gotten a rather bad case of pinkeye. In the end, Jack's "crack team of mercenaries" consisted of Katnappe, Tubbimura, Chameleon-bot ver. 2.5 and himself.
"I was aiming to hire an incredible team of brain and brawn." Jack said to his new allies. "But you were the only ones I could afford."
"You weren't exactly my first choice either." Katnappe said.
"Yeah, yeah whatever." Jack tightened the glove that concealed his ghostly left hand. "Now here's the pla-."
"Who wants cupcakes?" Dude-bot asked as he came into the room with a tray filled with chocolate cupcakes.
"Dude-bot! Why the heck are you making cupcakes?" Jack yelled.
"Well, I just thought, that in case you fail, and me and all my Jack-bot brethren are hurled into oblivion, I at least want to have a decent last meal." Dude-bot took a bite out of one of the cupcakes. "I was going to serve health snacks, but since we could be erased from history, we can afford some sweets."
"Ohh, cupcakes." Tubbimura took three, ate one and jammed the other two in his pocket for later.
"Okay…back to the plan." Jack brought out a small chalkboard with some crude drawings. "I'll get us through the electric fences." He pointed to a few squiggly lines on the board. "Then you'll take it from there." Tubbimura raised his hand. "Yes, what is it Tubbimura?"
"Most honorable, I mean most dishonorable Jack Spicer, why is your plan drawn on a chalkboard?" Tubbimura said. He squinted at the childish drawings. "And what's that large oblong thing?"
"For one thing, that's not an oblong, it's a circle." Jack pointed to the oblong. "And it represents you. And to answer your first question, my computers on the fritz from being blinked in and out of the time and space continuum." Then Katnappe raised her hand. "Yes, Katnappe?"
"Uh, yeah. What do you mean by 'You'll take it from here'?"
"Well, Katnappe that's a very good albeit dumb question and I think I'll answer that with a question of my own." Jack took a breath and-. "WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M PAYING YOU FOR?"
"Okay…okay…sheesh, I get the point." The cat burglar started to munch on one of Dude-bot's cupcakes. "Hey, these are pretty good."
(3 hours later…)
Jack and his motley crew that he had dubbed (much to Katnappe's distaste) Team Spicer were in front of Tommy Error's base. Jack took a pair of weird looking pliers and used them to cut a hole in the electric fence. Once they were inside the compound Jack said. "Alright I did my part."
"Your part?" Katnappe snapped. "You just made a hole in the fence that barely fit Tubbimura! My cats could make a better hole with those pliers, and guess what, they don't have any thumbs!"
"I thought we talked about this! Hrr…lousy, little, feline headcase." Jack mumbled. "Fine, Tubbimura! Take out those turrets!"
"Um, but I am a ninja. Stealth is more of my specialty." Tubbimura said, eyeing the four observatory sized turrets and their gigantic super-cannons fearfully.
"But Tubbimura." Katnappe said with a sing-song tune in her voice. "If Jack gets destroyed in the past then he'll have never created Dude-bot and if Dude-bot ceases to exist then he'll never have made those delicious cupcakes!"
"Not the cupcakes!" Tubbimura squealed. "I must destroy the turrets! For the cupcakes! Oh, and Jack too." Tubbimura took a cupcake out of his pocket and threw it at the first turret. Suddenly the second turret, seeing the cupcake thought it was a threat and blasted the cupcake and the first turret to smithereens. Then the third turret, seeing the second turret destroy the first turret, registered it as a traitor and blasted it. Finally, the fourth turret thought the third turret had gone loco and destroyed it. There was only one turret standing.
"Wow, good job." Jack said, amazed at both the ingenuity of Tubbimura and the stupidity of the turrets. "And good job tricking Tubbimura, Ash-I mean Katnappe." Jack whispered to the cat burglar.
"Oh, no problem." Katnappe smiled. "And while you were seeing the turrets blast each other me and my cats taught those rabid dogs a lesson."
"Really, what?" Katnappe pointed to a strange sight. A whole pack of frothing, ferocious-looking, rabid guard dogs were yelping as they were being chased around by three little innocent-looking kittens. Jack laughed at the sight. "That's so messed-up and sad, it's funny."
The fourth turret was pretty far from the main factory so it didn't try to shoot at them when they entered the base. The factory was pretty messed up. The conveyor belt was tattered, there was litter on the floor, and oil dripped from the trash cans. As if sensing the intruders, a large group of Demolitioners lumbered from their workstations. "Galt, who mows dere?" One of the stupid black robots asked.
Even with the incredibly stupid expressions on their faces, the Demolitioners looked quite threatening with their massive fists and black armor. This didn't faze Jack. "Oh, Chameleon-bot!"
Chameleon-bot ver.2.5 transformed itself into a cheesy looking salesman. Actually it was modeled after Jack's con artist uncle, Rolandos. "Hey you guys look stressed!" Chameleon-bot observed in his salesman guise. "How would you like a free vacation?" The Demolitioners nodded their heads. "Okay, all you have to do is, tell me how Tommy Error went back in time!"
"Oh, dat's easy. He used a shiny device and put one of dem coins in em. Den he flipped it and set the date for uhh…" a Demolitioner pointed to the table which held the time travel devices and Time Tokens.
"That's great!" Chameleon-bot exclaimed. "Now, bonus question; How far back in time did Timmy…I mean Tommy go?"
"Around six years." The Demolitioner answered.
"Great! You win a bonus prize.! You guys won an all expense paid trip to the fourth turret. And not only that but I'll throw in this free sign that says 'Hello" in it's language!" Chameleon-bot actually handed the Demolitioners a big sign that said. "Shoot us! We're intruders/enemies/household pests!" But they didn't notice.
"Yay!' the Demolitioners all shouted. They all ran out of the factory and ran towards the fourth turret, waving their sign. They were blasted to bits.
"So these are the time devices, huh?" Jack picked up a device and looked at it. Hadn't he seen something like this before? Jack shook his head and looked at the Time Tokens. Awkwardly, he put it in the slot and flipped it and saw the knobs and switches on it's back. It took some tinkering but he managed to get the screen to say "6 years…past…engage?"
"Hey, my kitties are back!" Katnappe's three little (deadly) kittens returned to their owner. She picked them all up and started cradling them in her arms. "Did those mean doggies hurt you guys?" she asked in a motherly tone. In reply, one of the kittens coughed up a dog collar. "I guess not!"
Jack looked at the device for a few more moments, then turned to face his 'team'. "Well guys it's been fun! But I think me and Chameleon-bot can handle Tommy in the past." Jack slipped the other Time Token in his pocket. "But don't worry, when I get back you'll all get your fair share!" He pressed the yes button on the device and a blue timeportal appeared behind him. "See you later! Same Jack time channel! Different Jack time!" Jack and Chameleon-bot jumped into the portal and disappeared.
Strangely, the portal didn't disappear after Jack had gone in, like in most sci-fi novels. It stayed quite open before it gradually started to shrink. Katnappe and Tubbimura had decided to stick around and watch the portal close. Well, Tubbimura was sticking around to watch the portal close, Katnappe was just stealing stuff that looked very interesting. "How much do you think one of these time thingies is worth?" She asked as she picked up the last time travel device.
"I do not know Katnappe…" Tubbimura was staring intently at the portal, only a foot away from being sucked into it. "Say how much do you think Jack will pay us?"
"Don't really know. But Money's not going to be a problem for me anymore." Katnappe took a seat next toTubbimura.
This remark suprised Tubbimura. "Huh…why?"
"Mainly because I have this!" Katnappe removed a small vial from her backpack. "It's the Alchemy Vial! With it, I can transmute any form of metal into another kind of metal!" Tubbimura looked at her weird. "That means that I can turn copper into gold…or silver. I pick pocketed it off of Jack a few minutes ago. Pretty slick, huh?"
"Have you no honor? That is Jack Spicer's! I shall report your treachery to him when he returns!" Tubbimura threatened.
"Really? Why don't you tell him now?" Katnappe purred.
"How would I do that?"
"Like this!" Katnappe snatched Tubbimura's last cupcake and threw it into the time portal.
"Ahhh! My cupcake!" the overweight ninja jumped into the portal after his beloved pastry and disappeared as well.
"Haha! How dumb can you-." Suddenly the Alchemy Vial slipped from Katnappe's fingers and fell into the time portal. "Ahhh! My ticket to easy street!' Katnappe dived into the time portal and vanished. Then the portal closed and disappeared, sending all four of them into the past. 6 years…to be exact.
To be continued…
(Comic Relief)
Tubbimaru: Haha, you fell into the portal.
Katnappe: Why are you laughing? You fell into it too!
Tubbimura: That was due to hunger, your 'fall' was due to greed.
Katnappe: Why you! (starts fight with Tubbimura)
Jack: I thought I was the main character of this story!
The Qing: Not in Comic Relief you ain't!
