First...I want to thank everyone for their reviews. I know Garret isn't as popular as Woody and Jordan, but I'm glad to see that there have those of you out there interested in the story. Second...I believe the story is starting to wind down, but as of yet I'm not sure how to end it or if it can be something I can continue in a follow-up story. I have several ideas...possibly continue with more drama for the two, but still would end happily. I would like your thoughts though...email me and let me know.
Now...I hope you enjoy this next chapter.
When Garret didn't say anything, she immediately regretted telling him. She saw the shock on his face and then what she thought might have been pity…something she didn't want to see…not from him.
"I…I shouldn't have said anything…" She looked away, but then felt his hand on hers. Slowly looking towards him…she couldn't mistake what she thought were tears in his eyes.
"I'm not sure what to say or do…should I say 'I'm sorry'…should I hold you…I…" He was immediately silenced when Jen placed a finger on his lips.
"Stop…I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Maybe I should tell you the rest and then…well…see what happens."
Closing her eyes, the images of her past flashed before her. "God…where do I even begin." Leaning back into the couch…she pulled her legs closer to her body. "Well…" she took in a deep breath. "…it was all innocent at first. All part of the trust issue. I was about seven when everything started. He…he never did anything initially. He played with me like all uncles did with their nieces and so that made him look good to my parents. He knew how to touch me just right to make me laugh, always doing it in front of my parents. Everything was just perfect." She stopped…looking away.
Garret wasn't sure if he should speak…wasn't sure if he had the right to ask anything, but went ahead anyway. "When did things change?"
Wiping away the tears, she looked at him. "Shortly after I turned eight my brother was born. Sometimes my uncle would baby-sit the two of us so that my parents could get out of the house for awhile. Those were the times he would let me stay up late…my parents never let me do that. The touching by now became more…he would rub his hand up my leg a little further. I remember one night I woke up on the couch…I must have fallen asleep, but I felt his hand under my nightgown. I just stayed still, pretending I was asleep. The next day, I still didn't understand, but he came by with gifts for my brother and myself. I kind of just forgot about what happened that night."
"Did you tell your parents? I don't mean to interrupt. I guess I'm not sure if I should say anything."
"Its ok…ask me anything you want. It pushes me to keep talking about it." She smiled sadly. "As for telling my parents…no I didn't. Things continued like that for awhile and each time there were the gifts…to buy my silence…I know that now. Of course being a young kid…you enjoy the attention from relatives. There were the occasions that I would visit him at his house…god…if I'd only understood it all then." She began to cry softly.
"Its not your fault…you were a child…an innocent child. He was the adult…someone you were supposed to be able to trust." He tried to keep his voice calm…for her sake.
"As I got older, he gradually introduced me to different things. Made me…" she cringed slightly. "…made me watch these videos with him." Closing her eyes, she worked to calm herself. "My parents never suspected a thing and I never told. I realize I should have, but he kept bribing with the gifts so in their eyes he could do no wrong. I knew they would never believe me. Of course, right after I turned thirteen he thought it was time to take things further. My parents had left one weekend…deciding to visit some family and they took my brother with them. I didn't want to go…didn't feel like it. I guess I should have…he knew I was there…alone. He came by…told me he had a belated birthday present for me. He…he forced himself on me…kept telling me that it was time to be a woman." A sob escape followed by another and she couldn't control them.
Garret pulled her into his arms, not knowing if it was the right thing to do. Slowly he ran his hand through her hair…trying to offer some comfort. Anger however was building inside him over what he had just heard. He knew things like this happened, but this was different…it was someone he cared about.
After a few minutes she pulled away. She couldn't make eye contact with him…felt too ashamed.
"When did it stop?"
Running a hand through her hair and then wiping away the tears she took a deep breath. "It was around a year later…he got caught…by my father no less." She tried to laugh, but it only came out as another sob. "There was this party at our home…for my brother's birthday. To get away from everyone I headed out to the detachable garage. I…I guess he saw me because I hadn't been in there more than five minutes when he came in. By now I was starting to become a little more unwilling, but he would turn it around against me…tell me that he liked it that way. I was trying to push him off, but he was still stronger. He was just about to…" she shook her head in disgust as images flooded her mind. "…well, my father walked in. I covered up as fast as I could. I could see the anger in my father's eyes, but I also saw the shame. He told me to go to my room and stay there. I raced out of the garage and once in my room…I just started crying and couldn't stop. I was afraid that my uncle would make me out to be the bad person."
"A few minutes later my father came into my room. The only thing he said to me was that my uncle was gone and wouldn't be coming back ever again. He…he didn't try to comfort me…there was nothing. His eyes were so cold…filled with shame." Her voice cracked and she paused before going on.
"I don't exactly know what happened to him. For months I lived in constant fear that he would come back. I don't think my mother ever found out, but my father never treated me the same. After about a year…living this lie of a 'perfect family'…I guess he couldn't take it…the thought of what had happened to me…he left. No explanation. I haven't seen him in over 20 years. I don't even know if he's alive."
"That's part of my brother is the way he is around me. He blames me for how our family was torn apart. He doesn't know what happened, but he witnessed the aftermath. Things just got worse from there. I completely shut down…I didn't care about myself. I started drinking…did drugs. The sad part was I didn't know how to be really intimate with a man. I only knew what was taught to me…so…I had this reputation…I basically turned myself into a whore." Jen hid her face in her hands…a part of her wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. She couldn't imagine what Garret thought of her now.
Jen felt Garret pull her close to him. The grim reality of everything settled in and she quickly got up, putting some distance between the two of them.
"How can you still want to look at me or for that matter even touch me?" Her voice was quiet, but filled with sadness.
He wasn't all too surprised by her question, but it still didn't make it any easier to hear. Taking in a deep breath, he looked up at her. "You may not believe this, but I care for you too…more than I ever thought I could." Garret got up and walked up to her. "Maybe this isn't the right time, but I've fallen in love with you."
The room became quiet as Jen looked at him in surprise. Swallowing hard she felt her eyes begin to mist over. "You…you love me?"
"I have for some time now, but until today…I wasn't sure how you felt." He smiled softly and caressed her cheek.
Her voice cracked with emotion, "I…its going to take me awhile before I can say those same words to you. I hope you understand."
Garret pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. "I understand." He embraced her tighter as if to offer reassurance.
"I believe what you said, but I'm afraid of losing you Garret…tell me I'm not going to."
He could hear the worry in her voice and he moved back so she could look at him. "Unless you know something I don't…I'm not planning on going anywhere…so I believe you're stuck with me." He smiled and saw her face relax.
"We're going to need to take this slow…ok?"
"We will take this as slow as you want…I don't want to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do."
Jen shook her head in disbelief. "I don't know what I did to deserve this…I must have done something right."
"I think coming to Boston was the right step." They both laughed and Garret relished in hearing her do that for a change.
Jen looked over at the clock and then sighed. "I think we need to get our things together…we have an early flight tomorrow." As they made their way to the bedrooms, Jen stopped as she entered hers and turned to look at Garret. "You know…I'm looking forward to going back to Boston tomorrow…there's hope for me there now." She smiled at him and then disappeared into the bedroom.
