Stranded Memories

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: The rest may be all me, may not be all me. Who knows!

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"Found"

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I laid in bed that night reflecting. Sandy was already asleep, but I stayed awake. In one week, a year would have gone by since Seth died on the plane. It upset me, but not nearly as much as it usually did. My mind was filled with joyous thoughts, like Ryan and Summer. The happy couple was in the pool house, and Aerin and Donnie were upstairs in Seth's old room.

Slowly, I faded into a deep sleep that I hadn't had in a long time. I think I dreamed of something that was calm and soothing. Usually my dreams were nightmares, filled with images of my son's dead, of the two nights that tore my heart apart. I'll never forget that phone call, one year ago, that Ryan was on the brink of death, and they weren't sure he'd make it. And I remember me dropping the phone, I felt like life wanted to screw with me.

Sandy had driven us to the hospital, while I was shaking. We were led near Ryan, but we weren't allowed to see him. Doctors were trying to save him, and at a moment in time, I heard a flat line. I lost it, and Sandy held me back. I didn't think I'd ever survive those first hours. They managed to save more than just Ryan's life that night.

It was so hard to look at Ryan without getting a quick glance of what he looked like at the hospital. He was pale, dried blood covered him. He had looked dead. He had been dead for maybe not even a minute. But it was long enough. It still amazed me how I wasn't in an asylum after those two weeks.

So much had changed in the year since Seth died. Too much. I was grateful for having the family I did, and I was still growing, but I wanted Seth home. Though he'd been gone for so long, the wound was still open. The one year anniversary was like adding salt water to an open wound. It hurts like hell, but you had to go through with it to get better.

I woke up to an empty bed, more than one I'd find out soon enough, and Sandy was in the bathroom. I smiled at him, and got up, putting a robe on. Walking towards the kitchen, I could hear Donnie crying from upstairs. I figured Aerin would get him to stop, but he didn't stop. So I walked up there and went to Seth's room. Memories flooded back as I saw a note lying on the bed. If Donnie wasn't there, I'd think I was back to two years ago and found Seth's notes on his nightstand. I hated him for doing it, ignoring our feelings, like we had none, and we didn't matter. I don't know why, but I felt an anger surging through me. Seth had broken our family once again. Aerin had left because of him.

As I soothed Donnie to sleep, I read Aerin's note:

Sorry I couldn't handle it. I need to get away to get over Seth. Please take care of Donnie for me. I'll be back someday.

Sorry,

Aerin

Tears escaped my eyes and I wanted to scream. Why was this happening to us? Why did Aerin have to leave? We all went through the same thing. I thought everything was okay, and really, it wasn't. Aerin hid all of her real emotions from us. Of course we didn't notice, she was a good actress.

"Kirsten?" I heard Sandy come up and soon, I found him at the door. "What's wrong?"

"She left," I stated and he walked over to me, and pulled me in his embrace. I couldn't stop crying. None of us were over Seth, but we tried to make it seem like we were.

"She'll come back," Sandy read the note, but I didn't think so. Seth and Aerin were made for each other. They ran and left everything behind.

"Hope so." I muttered and I picked Donnie up once again and we headed downstairs. Ryan and Summer were in the kitchen, being happy.

"What's up?" Ryan immediately saw my upset face.

"Aerin left," I wasn't nearly as mad that she left than with Seth. I wanted to scream.

"Oh," Ryan said, and we let silence commence. Donnie broke it by crying and I tended to him, something I could do to preoccupy my mind.

"Do you think she'll come back?" Summer asked.

"No idea," I commented. I wanted my mind to be off of Seth and Aerin, but it was near impossible. And I know it would only get worse.

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I couldn't believe the day. August 15th. The day everything spiraled into hell. The day I had no children, and I wanted to die.

It was a year ago Seth boarded that plane because my call about Ryan being near death. That day would scar me forever. I would never forget.

Long ago, I had realized how empty this house was without Seth and the anniversary was just one huge reminder of that.

Today I moped around the house while Summer took care of Donnie. She loved dressing him up in all sorts of dresses. Even though he was a boy.

"Will you get out of this? It's been a year, it's not like it was yesterday," Sandy kept commenting and I kept ignoring him.

"It feels like yesterday," I finally told him after the ten millionth time. I knew being in this empty house was slowly killing me, and I should be leaving it. But it was so difficult. It was so strange to think that a whole year had gone by without Seth. It was over a year since he left and I spoke to him.

I had fallen asleep in the living room, and when I woke p, we were in the car. I was so horribly confused. Ryan was driving, Summer was in the front holding Donnie. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Ryan was driving a car. I don't think I had seen him do that in over a year. The accident had given an imminent fear of driving.

My head was rested on Sandy's lap and I gazed at him. He smiled and the gentle features of his face helped me.

"Where are we going?" I lifted my head up and sat in the seat. I buckled my seatbelt and looked around. We were on a highway.

"LAX," Sandy answered and I froze. This wasn't right. I hate going to that airport. It reminded me of a sadness that never seemed to go away.

"Why?" But I already knew the answer. We were visiting the closest thing to a death site.

LAX was pretty full. Everyone in America, who had lost a loved one on that plane, was there. I felt tears drip down my face as we walked in. Memories flooded back. I missed my son so much.

But he would never come back.

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About eight days had slowly disappeared, and I was exhausted. I had forgotten how exhausting taking care of a baby was this hard. Donnie never stopped crying, Sandy and I had lost a lot of sleep. I wanted a nap so badly. Summer was out with Marissa, Donnie was finally sleeping, and Ryan was in the kitchen working on Newport Group papers. Ever since Aerin left, Ryan had decided to help with my work since I was the one who was taking care of Donnie.

"Good evening and welcome to the six o'clock news," I stopped on the news. My body was shutting down, and my eyes were drooping. I couldn't stand the exhaustion anymore.

My emotions were running dry since Aerin had left. I was numb now from all the things that occurred.

I heard the doorbell ring and Ryan went to get it. The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake.

"What?" I snapped and opened my eyes.

"Thank God, Kiki, I thought you were dead. Listen, we need to talk," Julie was sitting next to me and I lightly rolled my eyes. I wanted to watch the news, I didn't know why I wanted to hear it, but I'm glad I did.

"We're the survivors of Oceanic Flight 8-1-5," Time ceased to be time. What had I just heard? Was it my mind or real? Truth was playing tricks with me. That plane was gone. We had said goodbye too many times.

"Sshh, I need to hear," I shut Julie up and put the volume the highest it could go on the t.v.

"So, the search for Oceanic Flight 815 begins again. This radio transmission was found only yesterday, and it has been confirmed by relatives that it is Boone Carlisle, a passenger on the doomed flight."

Even Julie was paying attention to the TV. My head grew so mixed. They were starting the search again. The plane victims could be alive. Just as we let go, everyone else decided to hold on again.

Why hadn't we been notified? I couldn't understand it. So I quickly ran to the phone. Checking it, I saw LAX on the ID. We hadn't checked the messages. Crap.

"Hey, Kiki, wasn't that Seth's plane?" I was amazed Julie remembered. Ryan was looking at me with confusion on his face. I just looked back at him, unsure of what to say. I was so confused.

"Yeah," I croaked and wondered how they got the transmission. Where had it come from?

"Kiki, he might still be alive!" Julie got up and hugged me. I noticed right away that this was totally out of character for Julie. But of course, ever since Seth died (or maybe he didn't... there are people from that plane alive now...how had they survived?) I guess she tried to understand.

"Yeah, he might be," I couldn't believe we were talking about this. We had left go, and all of a sudden, he could be alive. I had mixed feelings. Of course I wanted him to be alive, but what would it be like if he was alive? We had to go through the longest year of our lives.

"What's wrong?" Ryan was still sitting there, and he finally spoke. He must've figured out what we were talking about.

"Nothing," I walked away from them, numb. I wasn't tired anymore. I was confused.

Seth could be alive. It kept running through my mind, as I headed to my room. My son might be alive after a year of being dead.

Why wasn't I happy? I felt happy-ish, by my emotions had run dry.

Oceanic Flight 815 was coming back to us.

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September 22nd. Again. Seth's birthday. Again. A trip to the cemetery. Again.

The search for the plane was going better than before. They had found a piece of the plane. I was ecstatic, much happier than when I first heard the search was starting again.

Summer and Ryan were watching the news, and I had just woken up. I grabbed a cup of coffee and kissed my husband, then going over to Donnie, who was sitting on the table. Sandy had taken him out of our room so I could sleep for a bit.

News had always annoyed me, because it was so filled with depressingness. But for the last month, I loved it. Today, I would especially.

"Oceanic Flight 815 has been found! Survivors are coming home after over a year on an uncharted island. Finally, the victims of the flight have made it to their destination, LAX," My coffee cup slipped from my hand and crashed on the floor. No one said a word. Donnie didn't even cry. My mind was swimming with new information. The plane. Found. Passengers. Alive.

"Only fifteen survivors out of 175? That's not very good odds," Summer commented as me and Sandy were picking up the pieces of my cup. Fifteen? Seth might not be alive. But he had to be. "I don't know, it seems kinda sketchy," Seth had to be alive. I was going to LAX.

"Well, I'm going," I announced and they all looked at me.

"I'm not. I'm a little skeptical. I mean, if Seth is alive, who's to say he wants anything to do with us? He left, remember?" Summer had a point, but I wouldn't believe it. He had been coming back.

Because one of us might have been dead. It took a death to bring him home.

Soon enough, me, Sandy, and Donnie were on the way to LAX, Summer and Ryan to the cemetery. I could see where they were coming from. Seth had been gone so long, they were scared. I was scared.

I had never in my life seen so many people at LAX in my life. News stations were everywhere. We got out of the car, which had to be, to me, a mile away from the airport. Luckily, people would move around for me because we had Donnie.

The survivors hadn't come out yet, I was glad. Seth would be here. I had to see my son.

Sandy pushed us to the front, telling people who just came for no real reason, that we were a passenger's family. I stood in front of the doors, feeling the strangest I've ever felt in my life. Seth had to be alive. I could feel it. My son was coming back.

All got silent, and the door opened. Two people, both blondes, came out. The girl looked just like Aerin. That had to be her cousin. The guy, who had shaggy hair, kissed the girl, and people "aww"ed. Then, another two people, both looking Asian, came out, but they didn't much walk near each other. A large man followed and a plain looking guy came after. Then, another blonde girl came out, with, what seemed to be, a Middle Eastern person. The rest, I forgot.

After all had come out, I only counted thirteen. Two were missing. Seth wasn't there. My heart was breaking. There was no hope for him being alive again. Seth was gone. He died on an island, alone.

I realized why no one was notified before the news announced the discovery. The airport didn't want to tell hundreds of people that there was hope for their loss, but they're dead.

Seth was lost, forever.

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A/n: Snaps for Ali! xD Wait, this sorta ruins the next chapter. Dom it!

Salvory - Charlie… Charlie is sooo much better than Seth… and Trey… Seth and Trey combined. xD. I can choose, and it isn't wrong. Okay, maybe not Seth AND Trey combined. xD

IY-ROX - Yes… poor Boone. Poor Boone this and poor Boone that. At least it wasn't Charlie… and according to some spoilers by the end of early season two… two more main characters will be added to that list. NOOOOO!

alexis - wish granted

paige fan - okay. 1) Both. He died in the last new episode. It sucked. 2) No this is not the end. After this chapter I (Kim) have 3 more chapter of this story and hopefully a sequel. 3) Who is Libby? Hmmmm… the world may never know. Ethan? Ethan's dead… he was shot by Charlie before Seth ran. Charlie and Jack are fine… a little shook up, but fine. Jack thinks he's dead and Charlie could give a shit. Are they ever gonna get off the island? At the beginning, Seth was gonna die on the island. Yes, shocking, no. Shows how much one of my stories changes. But I think the end of this chapter answered that question.

Harper's Pixie - Thanks! It may be rushed, but I wanna get this done… so I can work on the sequel…