True Emotions
Ch.7
In The Moonlight

"I hate summer!" Scully with agitation as she plopped into the chair next to Mulder's desk.

Mulder simply stared up from the papers he was looking through, as though he was asking without words exactly what she meant.

"I mean look at it Mulder!" she said pointing to the warm sunshine pouring into the basement office. "The sun's shining, the flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, all while we're stuck in this hole of an office! Why do you have to do paperwork anyway? You never used to!"

Mulder looked up at her again without a word. His expression was that of one you'd give a stranger, someone you've never seen in your life who had started chatting with you on the street. After a moment of silence Scully could take it no longer, "What?! You're acting as if you don't know me or something!"

"I thought you wanted me to." He said shortly.

"What?" Scully said surprised by his blank tone.

"You were getting sick of the fact that we never got any work done anymore. You said you couldn't get Skinner of your back from all the time we've been wasting. You told me I should straighten up and act like a man!" he ended with his voice raised.

Scully was rather taken aback by his response. They had gotten into a fight the other night but she hadn't expected him to take her seriously. She had only been in a bad mood after all.

Scully was just about to open her mouth in defense but he stood up suddenly and crossed the room. He proceeded to change the subject as he turned on a projector, and showed her some pictures of recent victims of freak accidents somewhere in Vermont. But Scully hardly heard a word of what he was saying.

"What just happened?" Scully said out loud, interrupting him.

Mulder paused for a moment. He knew he was acting childish but he didn't want to talk about it. Scully just seemed to be pissing him off lately. She never did that before, not recently as least. He opened his mouth to explain but all that came out was "Nothing! We've got work to do. I got us a flight to Vermont at 1:30. I suggest you pack for a few days...I'll see you at the airport around one o'clock."

Scully just stared at him blankly as he stormed out of the office. She let out a long sigh as soon as he was down the hall. All was going to hell now. "I should have known this was too good to be true."

The next day things only got worse as they checked into the motel in the sleepy little town in Vermont. Mulder walked up to the front desk with dreary eyes and a long yawn and said to the young man. "Two rooms please whatever you got."

"Sorry sir we've only got one room left...it's a single." The young man said not even looking up from his car magazine.

"Is there possibly another motel around here that we could go to?" Scully asked hopefully.

The man looked up from his magazine, "In this damn town? No way...but I get off in an hour, I wouldn't mind some company at my place honey."

"Excuse me!" Scully said rather offended.

"We'll take whatever you got." Mulder said shortly grabbing the last pair of keys from the desk and throwing down some cash. "Come on Scully...unless you'd rather go with him!"

He walked off angrily down the hall. Scully followed him, "You think I liked that?! That boy could be my son, that's disgusting!"

"I'll sleep on the floor so you can have the bed. We need you to get your beauty's rest." He said in a teasing tone.

"What is your problem Mulder? It's like you hate me all of a sudden! What did I do?!" Scully nearly ended in tears.

Mulder looked at her for a second then unlocked the door and walked in leaving her in the hall. This didn't sit to well with Scully. "What the hell is your problem?! Why won't you talk to me?! Tell me what's wrong!!"

Mulder stopped in his tracks, his back facing Scully. His arm flinched and he dropped the keys to the floor. Scully held her breath as she waited for him to speak. But he simply sat down on the bed and let out a painful sigh.

"Mulder..." Scully said softly. "I know things can never be perfect between us...but I meant what I said Mulder. I love you...and no matter what I always will...that's why it's hurting me so much to be having these silly fights."

"It's too hard Scully..." Mulder said quietly.

"What do you mean Mulder?"

"It's too hard not to love you."

She walked up to him and knelt down so she could look up into his face. "What are you talking about?" She reached her hand up to his face softly.

He closed his eyes briefly in response. "I feel like the biggest ass in the world. Torturing the best woman in the world, just because I'm having a bad day."

Scully said nothing, but she hoped he would explain... for this had obviously been lasting for more than a day.

"I'm just afraid I've promised you more than I can give Scully. I'm not a strong man, I'm not brave. I'm scared of loosing you every second of the day. I've almost lost you too many times. The closer I get the harder it will be to move on." Mulder said with frustration evident in his voice.

"I've never gone through this either." Scully said seeming to finally understand.

But Mulder was confused about her response. "What are you talking about?"

"When you love someone you're always afraid that they'll suddenly disappear and you'll be left broken. And that can happen to anyone, but the closer you get to someone the more you fear it. Sometimes when you haven't had to deal with it before, nor in your case you've dealt with it more than other's it consumes you." She placed her hands on his face and forced him to look her into the eyes. "But when that happens you've got to remember that you've only got one life, and if you spend it all in fear of death and of other's death then that's hardly a life at all. I can't promise you I'll be with you until the day you die and neither you for me, but I can promise I'll love you till that moment comes. And as long as you love me I'll never really leave you."

"Wow...that was a speech." Mulder said as she finally finished, trying to lighten up the conversation.

"Mulder I'm serious." Scully said agitated by his response.

He looked softly into her eyes. "You're too serious Scully. All I wanted was a kiss and a "hang in there...it'll be okay."" He placed his hand gently on hers, still holding his face close to hers.

The tears of worry finally dripped down her face as she smiled. A wide smile showed on Mulder's face and Scully laughed, "There's the smile I love."

They were inches from each other now and spoke only in whispers. Scully nor Mulder could wait no longer, having not spent five minutes alone for the past five or six weeks their lips touched softly in a passionate kiss. Soaking up all the tears, all the love, all the fears.

Mulder lay back on the bed and Scully placed her head on his chest. As the moonlight shined down into the room from the window Scully fell asleep in his warm arms the smell of him wafting her to sleep. Mulder didn't close his eyes all night just watched her peacefully and ran his fingers through her fiery orange hair. By the time the moonlight faded and the sun started to raise his eyelids finally got heavy and the sweet smell of her hair was calling for him to sleep.

The sunlight peaked in through the window and shown upon the room. Both Mulder and Scully were silently dreaming, the door wide open, the bags still out in the hall, and the keys on the floor.