So...after you finish reading this chapter...should I continue or leave it where it stands. I leave that decision entirely up to you...I'm here to please. :)


Garret woke up in the middle of the night to find Jen not lying in bed beside him. Getting up he walked out into the living room and saw her standing by the window.

"Jen?"

His voice startled her from her thoughts and she jumped slightly. "Garret…what are you doing up?"

"I'd ask you the same thing. How long have you been out here?"

Shrugging her shoulders she looked at him, "I don't know…an hour or so." Leaning back against the frame of the window she drew in a deep breath. "Are you happy about this pregnancy Garret?"

He took a moment, searching for the right words. "I know this wasn't planned and I can see you have your doubts, but…" Garret grabbed her chin just as she began to look away, wanting to keep her gaze with him. "but, I love you and having a baby with you doesn't begin to say how happy I am."

"And what about you…are you happy about this pregnancy?"

"Would you be angry if I said I wasn't sure?"

Garret breathed heavily and looked at her. "No…" He saw her eyes fill with sadness…an all too familiar look.

"More than anything I'm scared…I'm worried about not being a good enough mother. Look what happened to me…what happened for years right under my parent's watchful eye." She moved past him and he turned around to see her disappear into the bedroom.

He found her sitting at the head of the bed, clutching a pillow to her. Sliding in beside her, he softly kissed her shoulder and then wrapped his arm around her.

"There's more to this isn't there?" When she didn't say anything he pressed on. "Last night…you seemed to think I was going to be mad at you for getting pregnant…why?"

Sighing heavily she closed her eyes, "because…I've been pregnant before." Opening her eyes slowly, she turned to look at him. Thinking she would see disappointment…she only saw love.

Garret pulled her closer to him. "Talk to me."

"It happened after I moved to California. I moved there when I was old enough…had enough money to leave home. I thought a new environment would get me back on track…allow me to forget, but I was doing enough damage to my life that I just kept following that same destructive path." Jen loosened her grip on the pillow she held and laid it out in front of her…rubbing her hands along the top.

"Everything was still the same as before, only in a larger scale. With the men…it was no-strings attached sex. That's all they ever wanted and that's all I cared for."

She paused to take a deep breath and collect her thoughts. "I worked in this diner to make ends meet. One day this guy came in…well dressed. We flirted and later we ended up in a hotel room together. Afterwards I found out he was a well established attorney and also married…but he said his marriage had been on the rocks for years."

"He wanted to see me again and we did…many times after that. He was just like the others though…just wanted sex. About three months later I found out I was pregnant and when I told him he went ballistic on me. Yelling…calling me hurtful names…he even went so far as to tell me that it wasn't his, that he had a vasectomy years ago."

Softly she began to cry and Garret tightened his arms around her. "And that's why you thought I would have the same reaction?"

Jen nodded against him. "Garret…I knew he was lying…I hadn't been with anyone else, but he didn't believe me. He even went so far as to hit me. I had a bruise on the side of my face for the better part of a week." Her hand instinctively went up to the spot on her cheek…the memory still fresh in her mind.

"Why would you assume I would have the same reaction…I've never given you any indication…"

Shaking her head she wiped the rest of the tears away. "I know…he didn't either, but you see I only had that instance to compare it to. When I found out that I was pregnant…all of those memories came flooding back."

"You never said…what happened to the baby."

Dropping her head, she looked down at her hands. "A week later I had a miscarriage."

Garret rested his cheek against the side of her head. "I'm so sorry."

"I know…I'm ok…like I said…this just triggered all those memories again." Pulling away, she moved so she could look at him. "My first thought after finding out I was pregnant was that I knew I couldn't have this baby." She saw the hurt in his eyes and took his hand into hers. "I have to be honest with you…in the back of my mind I'd even considered getting an abortion." Now the hurt she saw was replaced by shock and she wondered if she'd said too much.

He sat looking at her…not even sure what to say. Finally he found his voice, but the words he spoke were soft and quiet. "So…now what?"

Jen moved in closer and smiled softly. "Now…I want this baby. I think I have all along…as usual I let my fears take over. It's going to be hard, but I know that I have you. I've always had you."

"You won't just have me you know…you'll have Jordan, Lily, Bug, Nigel…" Pulling her back to him, he brushed his lips over hers.

Jen pushed him back against the bed as the kiss intensified and a soft moan escaped her lips. Reluctantly she pulled away and looked at him. "So…will you still love me when I look like a beached whale…can't bend over to pick up anything…hormones all over the place…"

Garret didn't let her finish…he pulled her back down and kissed her again. A laugh escaped her lips as his hands began to roam her body.

"I'll take that as a yes then." And she knew…she knew as she felt Garret's lips move down her neck that everything in the end would be all right.