Stranded Memories

Rating: PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: I own crap. They wouldn't even give me the bloody Lost poster at Disney, and that ruined my day. FOX owns all OC characters and OC related thingys… and ABC owns sobs all Lost related things… even my Charlie… Lyrics belong to Tim McGraw…

Summary: Little things can push people over the edge. That very thing happens to Seth Cohen. When something happens to him that sends him into a crashing situation, who knows how he will survive. Seth-centric. Lost/OC Crossover.

A/n: Last chapter on the island… I feel a sort of emptiness…

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"Please Remember Me"

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"When all our tears have reached the sea
Part of you will live in me
Way down deep inside my heart
The days keep coming without fail
A new wind is gonna find your sail
That's where your journey starts"

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Of course, I didn't know where the hell I was going. So Shannon had to lead the way back to everyone else. She seemed to have calmed down. Then she just suddenly turned around and looked at me, stopping right in the path.

"What?" I asked.

"The beach is that way…" she said, pointing down the other way that the path lead.

I looked at her. I was very confused. She sighed. "Charlie… well he's not really the person you want to be around right now. He keeps talking about how much of an 'arrogant git' you are and stuff, and I didn't think you'd wanna be around that…"

I just continued to look at her. Why was she being so nice? I mean she was the one who had described herself as 'SuperBitch'. "Seth, trust me, I know you're not an asshole, I mean I guess you really helped me and stuff, and Charlie is just… weird. So please… just go to the beach…"

Not really knowing what to do, I just nodded as I headed down the path heading towards the right.

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It wasn't that far until I found the beach. The sound of the crashing waves didn't make me disagree with what my head was telling me.

I came out of the jungle to a deserted part of the beach. I could tell that it was well lived on because of all the footprints in the sand that were slowly getting washed away by the rising tide?

There was no one around.

It was waaay too quiet. I sat down and looked out at the ocean. For a little bit I had totally forgotten that I was even on an island I had gotten so used to being away from the beach that I had forgotten that it even existed. I just let the sound of the crashing waves overtake me.

I still wondered where everyone was. But I was so out of it and so exhausted that I didn't even let it phase me as I leaned down onto the sand and just listened to the waves crash against the shore. I felt alone, more alone than I had felt in a long long time.

Unfortunately, that made me feel anything but better. My mind began to wander. Wander onto things that I tried so hard to forget. I looked out at the ocean as best as I could and sighed. There was never going to be a boat out there. No one was ever going to come and rescue us.

I should have realized this a while ago, but it just hit me right then and there. No one was coming. I was never going to see my mom or dad, Aerin, Summer, Marissa, hell even Zack and Luke and Alex. Grandpa, Julie Cooper. They were all just memories anymore, lost in my mind. And to them I was just a memory, lost in theirs. Stuck there.

So in some ways I was still alive back home, with them, away from Shit-Hole Island. And in some ways, they were here on this island with me.

I was going to be here forever and Aerin and Summer and everyone else, not only had to live without me, but live without Ryan too, and we both… well he died, I was on a plane crash and stuck on this fucking island.

I hit the sand with my fist, sending sand flying everywhere. I could feel myself getting more and more upset as I was stuck alone with my thoughts. But I didn't want to move. I felt so alone.

My thoughts wandered to Aerin. How long did it take after the crash for her to forget about me? How long did it take for her to find someone new? If it weren't for the fact that Ryan had died, I would have wondered if he had taken her too, or Marissa or hell even Summer at this point.

I sat up so that I was looking straight out at the sea or ocean, or whatever the hell it was. I couldn't get my mind off of Aerin. Aerin Jenkins. Her amazing Australian accent, her beautiful deep blue eyes and long blonde hair. Her upbeat outgoing personality. Everything about her was just perfect. Except for me. I wasn't perfect. I was the screwed up part of her.

She deserved better, and now she could get better.

I was finally coming to grips with the things that had been plaguing me for the entire time on this island. It was supposed to happen. I knew and realized that now. I had fucked up so much in life that this was the only place I could go where things couldn't get more fucked up.

My arms wrapped around my knees. I was stuck here, forever, to pay for everything I did before. For all the lives I ruined and all the pain I caused. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had caused more pain than I had caused joy. I was Seth Cohen, a bundle of hell all wrapped up into a nice package.

Of course, that led me to wonder then, why I had survived the plane crash. Why didn't I just die on the crash, or when I ran from Charlie and Jack and Claire… all the times I should have died, but didn't. It gave me a little bit of hope, but not much.

It didn't make me think I was getting off of this island. It didn't make me think I didn't ruin people's lives. It didn't make me think I deserved to live. It just made me think I was lucky.

By now everything was blocked out from around me. I was trapped inside of my mind, just staring out at the water. The water that seemed to always be moving. Washing away sand and bringing new sand up. Washing away my memory from everyone back home, and replacing them with new ones. Sethless ones.

I could feel myself biting into my lip, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. Things were just getting worse and worse. More and more horrible, but I couldn't make it stop. I'd never be able to make it stop.

I was going to be stuck here for the rest of my life, however long or short that was going to be. Stuck with memories of people who were only going to forget about me. Stuck knowing that the memories of the people that I loved, the people that I hurt, were going to plague me forever, and they were going to forget me, forget the pain I caused them, forget that I even existed.

My old life was gone. It disappeared when we crashed. Everyone's old lives disappeared when the plane crashed and we were forced to try and forget them and worry about the now, what was going on on the island. But I couldn't forget.

I could forget what happened when we first got here. I knew I'd never fully remember what happened, but I knew it must have been really bad if I wanted so badly to not remember it. But whatever it was, I deserved it.

The familiar feeling of salty tears rolling down my cheeks came upon me. I hated this island, I hated being stuck here. Most of all, I hated myself. I hated everything that had anything to do with me and my selfish self.

That was what I was. I was a selfish arrogant asshole. I couldn't put up with things, they were getting too hard for me to handle, so I ran from them, and got stuck here. I ran from them and caused so much pain for people who only ever loved me.

I didn't deserve to be here on this island, I didn't deserve to be alive. I should have died like all those other people that never got to realize that there was an island. They just died. Died, just like Ryan.

Ryan. The one person that my selfishness had caused immediate pain too. I had killed him. He was dead because I ran to Sydney. And that affected everyone else more than me running away. At least I was still alive. Ryan wasn't. Ryan was gone, forever. And now I wish that our places had been switched.

Ryan didn't deserve to die. He never did anything to make anyone feel bad. He never did anything to deserve to die. I did all of that, and Ryan had to pay.

Ryan had to pay. Ryan did pay. He paid the ultimate price, and there was no way I was going to forgive myself for that.

That made me think about my parents. God, what did I ever do to deserve them? They were two… they were the two greatest people I've ever met. I mean they took in Ryan, and he was a 'delinquent.' Ryan became like a son to them. The son that I never was. The son that I took away from them.

I didn't know why I was getting myself so upset, but it was like an avalanche. One little thing and I just totally went down hill. I buried my head in my arms, blocking out the sights around me. I just hated myself so much. So fucking much.

I didn't deserve this. I should have just stayed in Newport, talked things out instead of acting on impulse and just rushing away. But I couldn't turn back time. I couldn't take back the things I did, or anything.

I know I didn't deserve it, but I hoped that they at least remembered me. Not as the screw up Seth Cohen, but as the Seth Cohen I was when I wasn't only thinking about myself.

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"You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me…"

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It felt like forever that I was stuck there, only my thoughts and the crashing waves keeping me company. But all at once I felt the presence of someone else. More than one person. Quite a few.

The cavalry had arrived. I didn't even look up. I could hear them talking, but I was so keyed in on the waves that I could barely hear them. But I knew they were there. The tears were still coming out of my eyes. I had turned into the waterworks. I was too afraid to look up.

It was only when I felt a comforting arm around me that I felt my muscles relax. I didn't even know they had tensed. All at once everything came crashing down on me. I could hear wind blowing, I could hear the voices loud and clear. The waves were still there, but just meshed in with everything. It was a weird experience.

"Seth, you're going to be fine," I heard a voice say. I knew that voice. It was Claire. Claire. Aerin's cousin. Shit. No. I wasn't going back to replaying stranded memories. I had to think in the now. Not the past. The past is the past. No more.

I didn't say anything, I was still feeling like I didn't deserve it. I didn't. I couldn't.

"Seth… Seth… damn it to hell Seth… turn on your cell phone… I know you have it off! Seth... please… don't… Seth… its Ryan… Seth… its Ryan… he's… Ryan… he's…"

Ryan was dead because of me. Ryan was dead. Kate was dead, Boone was dead. Who know what the hell else had happened while I was gone. While I am gone. While I'm stuck here on Shit-Hole Island.

"And I guess that I'll see you in Newport again…it's only a few hour flight."

Few hours turned into a few days, turned into a few weeks, a few months. Even a few years? I had lost track of so much time. I didn't even know who I was anymore.

"Please forgive me… Please forgive me… Please forgive me… Please forgive me…"

Forgive me. Forgive me? I could care less about forgiveness anymore. I just hoped that they'd remember me.

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"Remember me when you're out walkin'
When the snow falls high outside your door
Late at night when you're not sleepin' And light falls across your floor
When I can't hurt you anymore…"

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I sighed loudly and just lost all control of everything around me. Claire's voice was soothing and comforting me. "Seth, it's going to be fine. You're going to be fine."

She didn't get it, did she? I never was fine. I never was going to be fine. I was always just going to be fucked up Seth Cohen.

"It's not your fault," someone else said. Sawyer. I should have known that one of them was him. But I never looked up to see the people. I was too embarrassed. I must have hurt them too by jetting off. Everyone except for Charlie and Jack. But I didn't deserve any of this. I should have died. I should have stayed with Libby.

No… I should have stayed in Newport.

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" I heard a British man snap. What the hell? What was Charlie doing here? He hated me.

"Cohen… he likes to blame himself self for everything. Take the weight of everything on himself."

Silence. Awkward silence.

"That is bull shit," I said, before being able to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. "I don't do that."

I still didn't look up, but I could hear Sawyer laughing. "You owe me, I got him to talk."

I chuckled slightly. If… if… if Charlie and Sawyer could somewhat get along, there was some hope for me, wasn't there.

My head came up from between my eyes. I must have looked like shit. I could tell just by the change in their facial expressions. I held back a chuckle.

There was more silence, but before I could do anything about it, Charlie did.

"Look, I'm sorry about jumping to conclusions about… what happened." His voice sounded pained when he said 'what happened.' I wish I knew what he was talking about. "I should have listened to you, and Claire… and…" A coughing came from Sawyer and a smile formed on my face. "Sawyer," Charlie added sarcastically. "But I just wanted to let you know that I do forgive you, okay?"

Forgiveness. I never asked for his forgiveness, but I had asked for my parent's forgiveness, right before getting on the plane.

Maybe this was a sign that they forgave me too. That they wouldn't forget about me.

I relaxed into a smile. "Yeah," I said. "Th… thanks Charlie."

I could see the smile on his face too. Everything just got so much more relaxed than before. A million times more relaxed. I felt loved, wanted and just so much better than before. I finally felt as if I could be needed.

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Less than a week passed when it happened. I was finally feeling amazing, for the longest time in a while. A long long while. Even if I was spending almost all my time with Sawyer, poking fun at Charlie (not only because it was fun, but because it was easy) and Claire, but pulling practical jokes too.

We became the most loved hated people out there. We found a form of entertainment that was new (for now), but even now it was beginning to get old.

We were running out of ideas. It was one day when Sawyer and I were walking down the beach that we saw something. It was a small something, but it was a something.

"Dude, is that… is that what I think it is?" I asked, totally shocked. It looked like a ship. But it couldn't be.

"What?" he asked.

"Out there, look!" I said excitedly, pointing out at the horizon at the little speck that looked like a ship.

I could see Sawyer straining his eyes to try and see it.

"No way…"

"Yes way! We're gonna get off this piece of shit!" I was so excited it wasn't even funny.

Sawyer just looked at me and laughed. "Don't waste you're energy just yet. I have one last plan."

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The next thing I knew, I was drug into Sawyer's plan. It was the final one. The last big hurrah on the island. And needless to say, I thought it was going to be good.

It was just what everyone wanted to do. Well, what they would want to do if they knew what was going on, but they didn't. This was going to be interesting.

I stood on the sidelines and just watched. The wind was blowing and Sawyer was adding more and more stuff to the fire. Buy now it was huge, almost reaching the nearest little hut thing.

It happened so quickly. With everything as dry as it was, it was engulfed in a matter of seconds.

A very angry Sayid ran out of the jungle as it started a domino effect, starting everything on fire.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he shouted angrily. "ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN EVERYONE'S LIVES?"

Sawyer only laughed, before running towards me and grabbing my arm. "Run man!"

I didn't need telling twice as Sayid came running after us.

We ran and ran and ran (and surprisingly I didn't get tired) until we finally got to the point where we had seen the ship before. It was closer.

It was a ship. Holy shit.

Sayid just glared at us, obviously not seeing it. "I knew you two were going to do something totally out of control, now you just ruined everyone lives you…"

But he was cut off, obviously seeing the boat.

"You… I… you knew?"

We both nodded.

"One last hurrah," I said, as I just looked at the ship.

"One last big hurrah…"

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Hours before sunset, we were all on the ship heading towards home. We were all excited, you could feel the energy and emotions running wild. I sat alone. Of course I got a shower first thing, then ate a really bad microwave pizza. I swear my mom could have made better.

My mom. She was gonna kill me, wasn't she? I'd be grounded for life.

That was when I realized. I had been on that damn island for over a year. A long time. I wasn't a kid anymore. No. I most definitely wasn't a kid anymore.

But I was going home. I had to go home. It was time.

I only hope that they remembered me.

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A/n: I just noticed something. Back way before in a chapter where Seth was held by Ethan, I used a quote about "every nerve ending in your body being on fire" and as usual, I was watching "24" last night and in the previews they had Richard Heller and then I was like… dude… TREY! It was really weird… because Richard Heller was the person they said that to… and it's like… TREY! Haha!

IY-ROX - It won't be Charlie, we were promised that. And yes, one more after this and an epilogue. The funny thing is, the last chapter has been written for a while now… xD

Harper's Pixie - Teeheehee… I'm evil… well, Ali's evil… me too... nevermind!

alexis - giggles

Bored - Okay then… Ruin the greatness that is Summeran? Not gonna happen… xD

megan - what?

Louis - This chapter should clear things up…

neim - Thanks! Hopefully they all stayed basically in character through the rest of the story!