Disclaimer: I do not own HP in any way, shape, or form. I am not making any profit off of this work. I do not own the original HP characters but I do however own my original characters.
Rated: M for sexual content, language, adult themes, and violence
Chapter Eleven
"Tears"
Bella sobbed into her pillows as she lay on her bed. This had been what she'd done everyday for almost a month after she'd finished all her homework. She had cried all into November and her grades, if possible, had reached an all time low. Ivy had given up on trying to cheer her up and now just left her alone in the dorm to cry. Today was a weekend so Bella had spent most of the day crying and beating her pillows. She had been trying to avoid Richard Cook but she knew she'd see him when she went to see Quidditch with Ivy, Cook was a Chaser on the Slytherin team. She knew she'd have to come face to face with the cause of her pain and that made her cry even more. She didn't want to keep seeing her own rape through the eyes of the rapist but it was all her mind would show her. When she was awake it echoed in her mind and when she slept it invaded her dreams. Am I weak? thought Bella as fresh tears stained her cheeks. This isn't like me to wallow in my own misery. But this is different from anything else.
The dorm door swung open and Ivy hurried in.
"Bella," she sounded breathless and she was carrying a large brown book in her arms. "I know this isn't a good time but…" she walked over to Bella and dropped the book down on the bed. "You need to see this."
Bella sat up holding her pillow close to her chest. Her vision was blurred from tears but she tried to see what it was that Ivy was now pointing at on one of the thick yellowing pages of the book she had.
"Look, Bella," Ivy paused. "According to this the only male Halfblood that's attended Hogwarts, and went to Slytherin, within the last few hundred years is Tom Riddle, your dad."
"So?" choked out Bella salt tears running into her mouth as she opened it.
"You said that You-Know-Who was in Slytherin and a Halfblood but the only way that's possible is if…" Ivy trailed off.
"The only way for it to work is for him to be my dad." Said Bella sniffing and trying to wipe the tears from her face. "I am gonna kill my Grandmother."
"What's your Granny got to do with this?" Ivy cocked her head to the side.
"She didn't tell me, the old hag." Bella was still trying to stop crying. "What, did she think I wouldn't find out?" Bella gave a big sniff and wiped away the new tears on her cheeks.
"But," Ivy handed Bella a handkerchief. "Aren't you upset about who your dad is?"
Bella seized the handkerchief and blew her noise furiously in it. "No, I'm not. Why would I be?"
Ivy didn't answer but just looked at Bella. "How long have you been in here crying, Bella?"
"All day." Sniffed Bella.
"That's not what I meant. You've spent almost all your free time in here crying your eyes out. Don't you think it's time you told me what this is all about?" Ivy sat down on the bed.
Bella squeezed her pillow closer to her. I can't tell her. If I do then she'd want me to tell a teacher and I don't want to do that. But if I keep crying like this then she'll force it out of me. Fine, that settles it. Bella gave one last sniff, wiped her eyes, and then smiled at Ivy. "So," she said in a slightly nasal voice because her nose was still stopped up. "When's the first Quidditch match?"
Ivy was taken aback by this sudden change of subject but answered, "This Saturday."
"Good." Bella put down her pillow and stood up. "I'm still gonna kill Grandmother. I swear, did she think I'd never figure it out?" I can do this. I just have to act like I'm fine, that's all. "Matter of fact I'm gonna send her an owl about it."
"Is that a good idea?" asked Ivy still looking puzzled by Bella's sudden change of attitude. "I mean, putting something like this in writing could be bad. What if someone intercepts the owl?"
"Oh, that's true." Bella flopped back down on the bed. If I just act the opposite of what I feel then Ivy will stop worrying. Besides sorrow is the enemy. If I spend all my time crying then I won't be able to get my revenge.
"This is going to be such fun!" exclaimed Ivy as she and Bella made their way down to the Quidditch field on Saturday.
Bella was dreading it more then ever but she didn't show it.
"Oy, Grundy,"
Bella turned her head to the right to see Malfoy flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. "What do you want, Malfoy?"
"I just thought it weird that you're even here. I mean, it's bad enough that you're in Slytherin but you don't have to shame us even more by coming to our Quidditch matches." Malfoy smirked.
"Oh, that's rich coming from the likes of you, Malfoy." Spat Bella.
"Bella," muttered Ivy in a warning tone.
Bella ignored her. "Honestly, Malfoy, I don't see how my presence can make Slytherin sink any lower. I mean, you're in Slytherin and it can't get much worse then that." Bella had to stop walking because Malfoy was now standing in front of her looking livid. "Are you feeling alright, Malfoy?" asked Bella with a sneer. "You look even more peaky then normal."
"I'm warning you, Grundy," said Malfoy in an all most whisper.
"Ooh, you're warning me. I know you well enough, Malfoy, to know that your threats are as empty as that head of yours. Like father like son, wouldn't you say Malfoy?"
"I am not like my father." Malfoy's voice was so low Bella could barely hear it.
And then Bella remembered what she'd seen in Malfoy's memory on the first day of term. Oh, damn it all! She wanted to apologize for what she'd said but before she could Malfoy and his bodyguards stalked off. Bella bit her lip. How could I have forgotten about that! I'm so stupid! A great throbbing pain was swelling in her chest and her eyes were fogging over with tears.
"Bella, are you alright?" asked Ivy timidly.
"No!" Bella turned on her heel and ran, eyes streaming down tears, back up to the Castle. She could hear Ivy calling after her but she didn't so much as look back. She tore through the Entrance Hall down into the dungeons and into the common room. She slammed the dorm door closed and then fell to the floor tears making small rivers down her cheeks. He's like me… Bella crawled over to her bed and began sobbing into the sheets. He's a rape victim as well. How could I have forgotten! Stupid, Bella! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
