Title: Old Friends

Chapter Thirteen

By: LizD

Written: June/July 2004

Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.

Old Friends - Chapter Thirteen

Picking On The Dead Guy

1600 EST

Andrews Air Force Base

Harm was driving up to the gate. Webb was beside him. It had been a very quiet ride --- stiff, tense, uncomfortable.

"Don't suppose you have ID." Harm said before they got to the guard.

"A good agent always has of ID."

"A better agent would have a tailor … they will never believe that is your uniform."

Webb looked down at the loose shirt and baggy pants at least three inches too long (the cuffing and stapling did not help). "I guess I lost more weight than I thought."

"Webb … let's face it … you're a small man … you have always been a small man."

"Sarah didn't seem to mind." He jibbed.

Harm glanced over at Webb, reached over and ripped the wings off the uniform. He could barely tolerate Webb using the title of commander; he would not let him play a pilot. "Commander what?" Harm asked.

"Webster, Phoenix Webster." Webb stated proudly.

"Oh, you are too cute for words." He said rolling his eyes.

"Sarah thought so too." He coyed.

Harm pulled the car over roughly and turned to Webb. "We need to get one thing straight little man." He declared. "My only interest in this is to get Mac home safely. Got me? Whether you live or die is the least of my concerns. I'll shoot you myself if that is the only way to get her home."

"Nice to know you'll have my back."

"You have no idea what has transpired in the past seven weeks, but believe me when I say … nothing is as you left it. So if you want to continue poking at me, go right ahead, but beware when the Hammer falls, because when it does, it will be on your head, and you will only have yourself to blame."

"I knew that green eyed monster of yours wasn't dead and gone."

"Trust me Webb … I have enough disdain for you with or without my relationship with Mac factored in. You took a friend of mine into mortal danger and you nearly got her killed … worse than killed. You made her live in a hell that no one should ever have to know. For that, you have my scorn … for life. You are irresponsible, reckless and dangerous and I have saved your ass for the last time. You have no business running an operation by yourself, much less with other people's lives on the line. I don't trust you. I don't like you. I won't turn my back on you. You won't take advantage of Sarah again."

"And here I thought we would get closer since we have so much in common." The mock sincerity dripped off his tongue. "Shared experiences an all."

Harm grabbed Webb by the collar and pushed him back against the window. The fire flared in his eyes. "Show some respect, Webb. Show some humility. You owe her more than that. She cared about you when no one else did. She actually gave a shit whether or not you lived or died."

Webb did not respond. He was thinking that she must not have cared that much if she picked up with Rabb as soon as he was gone.

"So we understand each other?" Harm asked.

Webb nodded.

Harm released him and continued the drive up to the gate. They were waved through without incident.

- - - - - -

At the hanger there was some trouble. They were being told that there was only authorization for Rabb.

"Last minute change, Lieutenant." Harm stated. "Commander Webster is providing expert testimony. I am sure you can find room. He can sit on the floor… or be stowed with the cargo." Harm smiled.

"Let me check, sir." The Lieutenant retreated.

"What is the case?" Webb asked.

"Sexual Harassment." Harm looked back Webb ready to add some snide remark, but snapped to attention.

Webb turned to see Admiral AJ Chegwidden approaching.

AJ shook his head and glared at Webb. "You will salute a ranking officer, commander?" He bellowed.

Webb reluctantly came to a form of attention and a really weak version of a salute.

AJ returned the salute. "At ease. Commander Rabb, who do we have here?"

"Sir, Commander Phoenix Webster." Harm explained. "He will be accompanying me to Naples, sir. He has vital information about this case."

"I'll just bet he does." The admiral said caustically.

"Although he has not been authorized for the flight, sir." Harm continued.

The lieutenant rejoined the group but waited at attention until the admiral released him. "At ease, Lieutenant. One more for the flight." He dropped his bag on the tarmac.

"Yes sir." There was no arguing about an admiral getting on the plane (even a technically retired one), but the transport was full. It was just a matter of who would get left behind.

"And I am sure that you will have no problem getting Commander Webster a seat either." The admiral confirmed.

"No, sir." The kid looked away. "No problem at all."

"Good, dismissed."

The young lieutenant walked away.

AJ turned his attention back to Webb. "What the hell have you gotten my people into this time Webb?" He demanded.

"Need to know, AJ." Clay loved shoving his classified status in AJ's face.

AJ shoved it back. "As long as you where that uniform, sailor, you will address me as 'admiral' or 'sir'. You got that?"

Webb came to a relaxed attention and rolled his eyes. "Sir."

"Look at you … you look like a kid playing dress up. You disgrace all the fine men and women who wear that uniform and defend this country with honor, dignity and integrity. You say that you are working on our side, but clearly your only loyalty is to yourself. I have let you and your hair-brained schemes screw with my people for the last time. When this is over Webb, if you are still alive – you and I are going to come to an understanding? You got me?"

"Yes sir." Webb felt his spine tighten under AJ's wrath. He was being asked to 'understand' and 'get' a lot. Being dead apparently didn't get a person any breaks with this crowd.

"Good." AJ turned to leave.

"Excuse me, SIR." Webb said with as much mock respect as he could muster. "I was under the impression that you had retired."

AJ turned and got nose-to-nose with Webb. "I was under the impression that you were dead. Both impressions can be true. Do you want to pursue it?"

"No." Webb said softly. Then followed with "sir."

"Sir?" Harm said not attempting to hide his amusement. "They are boarding us."

AJ took one final look at Webb, grabbed his bag and went to board the plane.

Webb looked at Rabb. "How the hell did he get into this?"

"Admiral's privilege." Harm smiled. "Should have picked a higher rank for yourself."

"Next time I will."

"Still not paying attention COMMANDER – there will be no NEXT TIME." He clapped Clay on the shoulder roughly and followed along after AJ.

Webb watched after them for a moment. "It was a hell of a lot easier when I was dead."

2318 LOCAL

Safe House

Town Outside of Naples

Mac had stowed her gear in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Vic was standing on the porch looking out into the night. She joined him.

"I can take first watch, Gunny." She stated. "You need to get some rest."

"No watch, ma'am. We are safe here." He stated. "I was just thinking."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She sat down on the top step.

He took a few steps down and leaned on the rail. "I was just thinking back to my JAG days." He smiled at her. "Must be seeing you again, ma'am."

"Gunny, please … call me Mac."

"Yes ma'am." He smiled. For all his undercover work, he was still a marine and she was still a ranking officer.

"Can I say something?" Mac asked.

"Certainly." He looked back at her.

"You did some fine work, some really fine work at JAG. And you are sorely missed, but JAG was not going to offer you the challenge you needed."

He nodded. "It was a lot easier life. Regular – you know … 0900 to 1700 -- Actually thought about getting married, raising a family. Even thought I had the girl picked out."

Mac understood. His life after JAG as a marine during wartime and now TAD as an operative for the CIA was not conducive to home and family. "What happened to her?"

"We were never that close. Only dated a few times before I left for Afghanistan. We exchanged a few letters. I understand she is married now … to a banker or an accountant, I think." The words 'banker' or 'accountant' would normally fall off his lips with contempt. This time, however, he envied these types of men their normal lives.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

He shook his head. "Nah, I am not the home and family type. Would have gotten bored." He was saying it to convince himself, the same words he told himself often in the dark of night.

"You will make a wonderful husband and father – when the time comes, Victor."

"Thank you, ma'am." He wondered if he should broach the next subject. "I understand you and Webb have been spending a lot of time together."

"We were." She stated. "Until he was killed."

Vic laughed. "Well the will put a damper on a relationship, won't it ma'am."

"Yes, it does." She got a distant look in her eyes.

They were silent for a moment. Gunny was thinking about how much he disliked her choice of Webb. They had been working together since January. Gunny did not like what he knew; he didn't like all that he was privy to since Paraguay. "Forgive me for saying this ma'am, but Webb didn't need to go back out into the field."

"What?" She asked.

"They were going to give him a desk job after … ." He waited for her to say something, she didn't. "He is doing this because he is trying to make up for Paraguay."

"Make up for Paraguay?" She asked.

"Yes, ma'am. That whole damn thing was his fault." Gunny was immediately sorry he spoke when he heard the words in his mouth.

"How do you mean?" She prodded.

"It is not really my place to say, ma'am."

"Gunny … please … tell me what you were going to say."

Gunny thought for a long moment. He studied Mac and decided that she had a right to know what he knew. "He pushed that mission harder than he should have."

"How so?"

"He didn't know who to trust. He knew who not to trust and he trusted them anyway. He was trying to make a big score fast so he could get back in the good graces of Kershaw and the rest. He put the entire mission and his people – including you ma'am, in danger. It was 100 Webb's fault – so now he is trying to make up for it. That is what got him killed this time too …" Gunny realized how silly that sounded. "You know what I mean, ma'am."

Mac nodded. It had never occurred to her before to assign blame other than to Sadik Fahd for what had happened.

"Ma'am, if it were not for Commander Rabb and you destroying those missiles, Webb would have been fired. That one act alone saved the mission and his job."

"Gunny, he was tortured for information." She stated. "He has suffered enough."

"Tortured for information that he did not have, endangering you and the rest of us all to save his … all by his own doing." He realized that he had said too much. His disgust of Webb's motives was clear. "I am sorry, ma'am. It is not my place to say."

"Of course it is Gunny, your life was – and is – on the line just like the rest of ours."

"And has been for the past six months."

"Six months?"

"Yes, ma'am. I have been assigned to Webb since January. We had intel about Fahd and were following it up. When you killed him, we were in Syria. It shocked the hell out of us that he was in the US. Webb's intel was bad –

again. He did not know who to trust and trusted the wrong people. One more time that it nearly got you killed, ma'am."

"Can we really blame Webb for that?"

Gunny looked away. Clearly he did. After a moment he continued. "We thought it was over, but this other thing came up with the wife."

"Tell me about her." Mac asked. "Tell me everything I need to know."

Gunny felt the weight lift. Mac understood all that he had told her and would process it in her own time in her own way. Gunny had done what he should have – he given her the facts (as he saw them) and let her draw her own conclusions. Now he had to give her the rest. "Her name is Nancy Ellen Hatfield and we believe that she is working with the Red Cross but getting information back to al-Qaida."

"That is treason." Mac stated.

"Yes, ma'am." He nodded. "And when I find that bitch, I will tell her just that as I drag her back to the US for trial." His intense hatred for the woman was clear with every tensed muscle on his face. Gunny was still more cop/marine than he ever would be CIA. "She has been responsible for the death of many good marines."

"Have you met her?" Mac asked.

"I let her slip through my fingers a week ago. One thing she picked up from Fahd was the ability to change her appearance." He shook his head. "And she has more names than Webb."

30,000' Somewhere over the Atlantic

Shortly after the plane took off AJ quizzed Harm on the changes that occurred since their last conversation, namely:

"What the HELL is Webb doing here?"

"I found him in my apartment, sir."

"And you gave him a uniform?"

"Not my idea, sir."

"Don't you have an opinion about this? Don't you have a plan?" AJ was getting frustrated. Rabb a man who is always ready with an action seemed very passive in the face of his rival.

"Sir, my plan is get Colonel MacKenzie and me … and now you … home safely. Any thing else is all Webb's and if he fell off the face of the planet, I wouldn't lose any sleep." Harm glared at Webb who luckily could not hear them. "No disrespect sir, but he is one man I would leave behind."

AJ shook his head. "What do I need to know about the two of you?" He asked.

"Sir?"

"Can you two work together?"

"Yes sir." Harm said slowly.

"Look, I am in this – whether any of you want me involved or not. I am not a CO and I am not even official." He looked around to be sure no one heard him. "Tell me what I need to know."

"Can I ask why you are involved, sir?"

AJ took a deep breath. This was the part he wanted to avoid. This was his admission of guilt and culpability in the events of the past year whether it was by his choice or not – it was on his watch. It would be easier to admit this now that he was no longer JAG, but it would have been nicer still if he never had to say a word.

"Look, Rabb, I made a mistake." He laughed. "Hell I have made many mistakes. But this time I never should have allowed this … bullshit to start." He took a breath. "And it seems to be continuing to snowball all to hell. It has to be stopped."

"Sir?" Harm was confused.

AJ looked down and said very softly. "I never should have let her go on the mission with Webb." He looked back up at Rabb. "I was well within my rights to refuse the request from the CIA – and it was my responsibility as her CO to refuse. I knew damn well that Webb could have found any one of a dozen women to go in her stead."

"Why didn't you?" Harm was honestly asking, he wasn't trying to be mean or spiteful, he really wanted to know.

"I don't know. I could say it was orders from the top … but I have denied those before." He wiped his hands across his face. "I don't know … You were just coming back after that Singer business … Maybe I thought it was a good idea that Mac get out of the office for a while." He laughed to him self and dropped his eyes. "I should have gotten out of the office for a while." He looked back at Harm. "But she never should have been put in that position."

"The colonel understood the risks." Harm stated.

"I didn't understand the risks!" AJ said a little to harshly. "Or didn't want to. When you came to me and requested to go down after her, I still didn't understand the risks. Thought it was some sort of pissing contest between you and Webb."

It had never occurred to Harm that AJ wasn't plugged in. It never occurred to him, that maybe the admiral did not know what was best. Even when Harm disagreed with him, there was always something in the back of his mind that said the admiral had everything under control. What if he didn't?

There was so much fallout from AJ's decision to let Mac go. If he authorized Harm to go down after her, he would be admitting that he made a mistake. If he took Harm back after he quit, he would be admitting another mistake. Asking Harm to come back, after so many months, was too little too late -- the damage was done in the office. He had shaken the confidence of his people. Then that mess with Meredith rocked him to the core. He was just not doing what he was supposed to be doing. Harm did not ask for assistance with Mattie. Mac could not turn to him when Sadik Fahd came back, nor could she trust him to help her through the aftermath of that event. His staff – all his staff – had always trusted him to be fair and impartial, a compassionate leader and above all – a friend who had their back. He had failed them. He failed himself. At least that is how he saw it.

AJ looked away from Harm. "Should have retired a year ago." He said under his breath. "Letting other people make decisions for me, not following my gut … not seeing what was right in front of me." He shook his head and shook it off. "Well not this sailor … not any more." He found his command presence again and looked back to Harm. "So tell me what I need to know. Are you and Webb vying for Mac's attentions? Am I going to have to keep you two from killing each other? Or can this be resolved with a minimum of ego?"

Harm thought that those were very good questions; he wished he had good answers.

0425 LOCAL

Safe House

Town Outside of Naples

AJ, Webb and Harm drove up the long drive to the house that Gunny had secured. He was waiting at the edge of the yard for them; Mac was in the house. Greetings were exchanged and updates were discussed. Harm saw Webb slip away into the house in search of Sarah. That is exactly what he would have been doing, but he just couldn't bring himself to witness their reunion.

Inside

Mac was up and dressing when Webb stepped into her room.

"Hi." He said softly.

She turned with a start; she had heard them drive up but did not hear anyone come back into the house. "Hi." She noticed the uniform. "What are you wearing?"

"Don't start." He warned playfully. Webb stepped up and pulled her into an embrace. Mac returned it. "It is so good to see you, Sarah." He whispered. "To hold you."

"You're alive." Tears fell from her eyes. "You're really alive."

"I told you everything would be fine." He whispered in her ear.

Mac tensed and pulled back. "No, actually you said that you would be safe." She stepped back away from him. "You said you were going to Germany and would be safe."

"Sarah."

"You lied to me, Clay." She said evenly.

"I couldn't tell you where I was going." He defended.

"You couldn't tell me that there were reports that Sadik Fahd may not actually be dead, and that you were tasked to go after him?"

He shook his head. She knew too much. "Sarah."

"You couldn't tell me that my life may be in danger? Harm's life?"

"It wasn't, I was making sure of that." He reached for her hand.

She pulled it away. "But you didn't trust me enough to let me know."

"You had been through so much already." He explained. "I didn't want you to worry."

"No, I wasn't worried," sarcasm dripping from every syllable. "I wasn't worried when you had your secretary send me presents in your name from a place you weren't."

"Sarah." He tried to protest.

"I wasn't worried when those gifts stopped coming."

"But you have to--."

"I wasn't worried when I had to go to her myself, discover the fraud and get the information out of her that you were dead."

"I didn't --."

"I wasn't worried when I was dragged down to Langley and debriefed for ten hours about what I knew about your mission and had my house searched and 'cleaned' and purged of everything that you ever touched."

"I couldn't tell you." He defended.

"I wasn't worried when I got an e-mail from a dead man saying that he was feeling much better and then nothing for more than six weeks." She fixed him with a withering stare. "None of that would make anyone worry."

"I'm sorry." He stated. "I should have told you."

"Damn right you should have told me." She ran her hands through her hair.

"Sarah, I am sorry. I made a mistake." He got close to her. "We can work this out."

She snapped back to look him in the eyes. "There is nothing to work out, Clay."

He smirked. "Make one mistake and it's 'So long Webb'?"

"Clay, you and I were at the start of something … working toward something." She said after a moment. "We had been through hell and were trying to make some sense of it … make it real. But what we were going to be to each other … what we could have been … I don't know. We'll never know."

"It can be whatever we want it to be, Sarah." He again tried to pull her to him but she pushed him back.

"I don't think so." She smiled at him softly. "Clay I love you, I do. But I can't get past the lies … I can't get past your life."

He looked down. It was the only life he knew.

"I want so much for myself, Clay." She added sadly. "You can't give it to me."

"I would like to try."

"You did try. We tried. It didn't work."

"Sarah these are extraordinary times."

"That is where you live, Clay. In the extraordinary."

"Sarah." He entreated.

She pulled out the heavy guns. "I can't be a spy's wife. I can't have children with a man who may or may not come home. I can't trust someone with my heart who I know is lying to me – for the right reasons or the wrong reasons." She reached out to touch his face. "And I want that, Clay. I want to be a wife and a mother … I want to trust with my heart the man I choose to make a life with."

"You can trust me Sarah." He pleaded. "You just have to have faith."

"No Clay, I can't." Her face washed with sadness. "We would have figured that out sooner or later … it just came sooner."

"But Rabb?" He said with as much disgust as he could muster. "You can trust Rabb? After all this time, you think you can trust him? After everything he has put you through?"

She felt a stab. Clay could be caustic and vicious at times. She had forgotten that. She remained true and didn't let him bait her into a debate. "Clay you know how I feel about Harm. You have always known." She added softly. "He was always there between us."

Webb looked down. She was right. Rabb always was there between them, even in bed. Clay had asked her once what she wanted from him, and her reply was to be there when she needed him. That wasn't enough for him and it was next to impossible to promise. He wondered what she wanted from Rabb. Somehow he knew the answer was more than to be there in her need.

He looked up at her. "Are you happy, Sarah?" He asked.

"I am."

He nodded slowly. "Then I will be happy for you too." He smiled. "Not you TWO … for you as well."

She smiled at him and pulled him into an embrace. "Thank you, Clay."

He nodded and released her. It was not as hard to do as he imagined it would be.

Harm was walking near the edge of the yard by himself. He told AJ and Gunny that he needed to get his head into the case; he had court in less than five hours. But that was not the truth.

It had been sometime since Webb had gone into the house and Harm was becoming concerned about what was going on. He was trying to reassure himself that what he and Mac had could survive this next hurdle, but there was a part of him that was terrified that it couldn't. What would the reality of the man – alive and relatively well – do to Mac? Would she realize that she really loved him in a way that she didn't love Harm? Would she come to him and say that she needed to finish with Webb or try to make it work and apologize for getting involved with him so quickly? Or maybe she would come to him and say she was confused and needed to step back for a while. Could he live with that uncertainty?

"Hey." Mac's voice came from beside him.

He turned to her. "Hey." He was searching her eyes for a sign, any sign.

"You look tired." She reached up to touch his face.

At her touch he went weak kneed. He took her hand in his and leaned back onto the fence. "I am. Didn't sleep much on the plane."

She smiled at him and nodded back to the house. "Refereeing the admiral and Webb?"

"No, pretty much enjoyed the fight." He gave her a weak smile.

"How is Mattie?" She asked pretending that this was a normal conversation.

"She is fine." He stated. "She's with Tom and they are going to spend some time together."

"You are OK with that?"

"Yeah … she needs him and he needs her in ways that I can't be a part of." He wasn't thinking about Tom and Mattie.

"It will take both of them to heal."

He nodded. Had Mac healed? Did she still need Webb to make sense of the events that were still coming at them or was she really ready to move on? They were silent for a moment, which gave Harm too much time to think. "So how's Webb?" He said caustically letting her hand go.

"Looking pretty good for a man who has been dead for seven weeks." She offered casually.

"Should have stayed dead." He looked up to the upstairs window. "That man could screw up boiling water. What do you see in that guy?"

"Harm." She tried to correct him. "He has different priorities … different goals."

"He is a little man, Mac with a little man's problems. He is arrogant and rude, caustic and snide."

"The same could be said about you." She commented. "At times."

"Maybe … but I have my priorities straight … and always have when it comes to life and death." He was scared to add the next part, it left him open to be shot down. "… And the woman I love."

"Harm please, don't go there." She knew he was berating Webb, but his statement about himself was not exactly correct.

"Fine." He looked away. "Defend him if you must … but not to me."

"I am not defending him." She paused. "Alright I am, but … doesn't matter any more." She caught his eye. "Everything is Ok."

"Is it?" He looked up at the house again. "Is it OK? Tell me how it's … OK."

"Well for one thing, you are here with me." She said softly stepping closer to him. After a moment she added, "I missed you."

He looked down into her soft brown eyes; he took her hand and turned over in his. "I missed you, too."

"Harm?" She saw apprehension in his eyes. "Harm, I love you." She stated clearly.

He nodded. Was there a 'but' coming?

"I told Webb that too." She added. "I told him that we were happy."

He was still unsure.

"We are happy, aren't we?" She asked.

He reached out to cup her face and look deeply in to her eyes. He saw love there. The kind of love he needed to see. "Yes." He said with that same unequivocal manner he had developed over the past few months.

She smiled. She was beginning to really appreciate his direct one-word answers. "Then tell me you love me and kiss me 'hello', sailor." She ordered.

She still wanted him. He felt it. Webb would not be a factor. Harm did as he was ordered to do with a great deal of relish.