Hi, everyone! Again, welcome to Tea Time Chat!!!! I'm tangerine-asuka, your host for today! I'm so sorry for the delay of this chapter… But before we get to the much-anticipated part of the show, let's talk about Norse mythology. Personally, I find Norse mythology mystifying. Especially the description of Hel. And I love the story explaining why is there day and night… about Hati and Skoll. When Hati devours the moon, there is a lunar eclipse; when Skoll devours the sun, there is a solar eclipse. Then the people would scare them by creating loud noises with their yelling and screaming, and they'll spit out the moon and sun respectively. Everything returns to normal.

Not to mention Ragnarok. But it's kinda silly that everyone dies. I mean, Thor killed Jormungand but died from wounds and poison? Heimdall killed Loki but die from injuries? It's a little funny…

(Audience starts throwing tomatoes and rotten eggs and vegetables at tangerine-asuka. She squats down and cowers in fear, hands protecting her head…)

Okay, okay! I'll stop crapping now! On to the latest chapter of Tea Time Chat…

Curtain draws open, revealing a big screen, with the following words on it:

DISCLAIMER: Matantei Loki Ragnarok does not belong to me.

Japanese notes: [1]Kisama: very rude way of shouting "YOU!" [2]kawaii: cute [3]kono yaro: you bastard

Then the film begins rolling…


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TEA TIME CHAT

CHAPTER 5 --- Heimdall (1)

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"Heimdall, who is the guardian of Bifrost, the only entrance to Asgard, is the watchman of the gods." Mayura paused for a moment.

Heimdall froze in his sear, unable to do anything but wait for Mayura to continue. His mind was in a total blank, and for the first time in his life, he felt extremely helpless.

"Cool… a guardian? Hmm… he sounds like a guardian angel. One who is protecting everyone…" Mayura commented dreamily, thinking of white fluffy clouds and white angelic wings. Just pure white.

Heimdall was surprised. An angel? That's nice… perhaps the book didn't mention much about me… He noticed that on the other side of the table, Naurgami was stunned and Loki was looking extremely disappointed and furious and… was that a tinge of jealousy? He smirked.

But little did he know that he was not safe from Mayura yet, as Mayura continued: "Heimdall is the son of Odin and… 9 giantess?!! NINE??!!! NINE combined to bring forth ONE son? Oh my god… how did they managed to do that?" Mayura's face turned green. She felt totally disgusted. "Did each of the nine giantess provide different parts of his body? This is sick!"

Loki and Narugami felt slightly more satisfied with Mayura's words this time. Together with Freyr(who had recovered earlier from Heimdall's punch), they were all wondering how did nine giantess bring forth one Heimdall too. Then, both of them came to the same conclusion: One Heimdall is enough. If there were nine Heimdalls… Their faces turned green.

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Loki imagined having to fight NINE Heimdalls. Absolutely disastrous…Nine of them pestering me to return their stolen right eyes when I have none with me… He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying to clear the image of nine Heimdalls running after him.

Narugami imagined having NINE Heimdalls taunting him, reciting "Thor is a destructive barbarian". He shuddered, trying to think about something else besides the nine Heimdalls circling him, smirking at him, scorning him.

Freyr's face turned green when he imagined having NINE Heimdalls chastising him and knocking him on the head. But a few seconds later, he imagined having nine Heimdalls… dragging nine Heimdalls to go shopping with him. He can then buy many, many, many, more toilet rolls and watermelons! NINE times more! It's a wonderful dream!! He then grabs the nine Heimdalls and goes shopping in the little daydream bubble above his head…

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All heads turned to stare at Freyr, who had started laughing out suddenly with his eyes shut into thin lines, apparently still caught up in his dream world.

"Oniisama, what happened to you?" Freya asked incredulously, a look of disgust on her face.

When Freyr continued laughing without answering her, Freya decided that it would be best to move away from him, thinking that he has finally gone bonkers (though he was always a little mental).

Heimdall cringed inside.

"Heimdall was born at the end of the world, and raised by the force of the earth and seawater, and the blood of a boar…" Mayura read off the book. She had a thoughtful expression on her face, which melted into concern. "Poor Heimdall… he had to drink the blood of a boar? Did he actually get enough nutrition? I thought all babies drink milk…"

"…………"

Then almost immediately, everyone at the table burst out laughing. Even the Norms could not resist the thought of baby Heimdall bawling and whining for his milk bottle. Narugami was banging the table with his right hand, choking in between his laughter: "Heimdall… baby… milk…" He placed his left hand over his stomach, trying to ease the pain that had derived from his uncontrollable laughter.

"Aww… isn't that cute, Higashiyama-kun?" Loki beamed, an evil glint in his gorgeous deep-green eyes.

"Kisama[1]…" Heimdall scowled, a dark look in his eyes, ready to pounce at Loki and shred him into bits.

"What's wrong, Higashiyama-kun? Don't you think that babies are cute? And a baby god like Heimdall would be awwwfully cute…" Loki continued to taunt Heimdall, stressing on the word 'awfully'.

Narugami patted Heimdall's back, trying to get him to relax. But it felt more like a blow to Heimdall as Narugami was still laughing so hard that he unknowingly used much more strength than needed. It threw Heimdall face-flat on the table.

Choking from Narugami's "pats" and sputtering with shock and anger, Heimdall recovered himself from that embarrassing posture and turned back to glare at Narugami. "KONO YARO[3]!!!! Get your filthy, barbaric hands off me!!!!" Heimdall thundered.

"What did you say, you BABY??!!!" Narugami yelled back straight at Heimdall's face, his voice almost deafening.

"Now, now, you two. Stop arguing like little children…" Loki cooed, trying to coax the two raging gods. But anyone could make out the overwhelming sarcasm that dripped from his voice like honey. Then Loki added a soft comment: "A barbarian is no better off than s baby, and vice versa."

Both Narugami and Heimdall were ready to bite Loki's head off for that.

"Yeah… I don't understand why you guys are so worked up? I was only talking about the gods in this book…" Mayura muttered cautiously, wary of the war between Loki, Narugami and Heimdall. Her confusion was growing deeper and deeper, about to swallow her up.

Heimdall wanted to shut Mayura up, to stop her from reading anything off the book anymore. He considered various ways to do that: I can tear up the book (which will make me look like a… baby), knock her unconscious or cast a spell on her (which means that I will have to face Loki's wrath after that), or… An evil grin spread over Heimdall's face. Kiss her. That would render her unable to speak…

But before he could put his plan into action, arms wrapped around him and he felt a weight resting on his head. Heimdall was both shocked and alarmed, and his body stiffened. He didn't have a clue to what was going on, and he was in too much of a shock to react. The arms around Heimdall tightened into a grip, and began rocking him to and fro.

"Heimdall!!! You are so kawaiiiiiii[2]!!!!! Freyr loves baby Heimdall! Let Big Brother Freyr help you find some milk! Yamato Nadeshiko is right. You need more nutrition… so that you will stop being so grouchy…" Freyr cuddled Heimdall tightly, cooing gently.

Heimdall EXPLODED. A DEAFENING sound rang throughout the whole yard, the whole mansion, and the whole town, louder and scarier than the thunder that cackled in the worst storm you've ever known.

…………..(censored)……………

From afar, at the shrine, Mayura-papa jumped and looked up at the sky when he heard the noise. "Is a storm coming soon? Strange… the weather report stated that it would be sunny today…" He mused to himself and shrug, returning to his chores.

(Whatever happened to Freyr is up to your own imagination. But judging from Heimdall's reaction, it can be anything good…)

Mayura gaped at the boy with violet hair. She couldn't believe what he did to the phantom thief… But, well… I think Kaitou-san is too weird… calling Higashiyama-kun Heimdall? I guess Higashiyama-kun is just too frustrated over Kaitou-san's strange nonsensical babbling. Poor them…I wonder what happened to Kaitou-san…mystery…

Mayura shrugged and turned back to her book, and at the same time, Heimdall turned to face the source of his anguish and embarrassment.

"Heimdall had shining golden teeth, and sports an armor of pure white. He possesses the horn, Giallar, his horse is Gulltop, and his sword is Hofund. He is the strong and silent type, and to top it off, he is extremely clever. Aesir considered him to be among their most handsome and most wise. Oooh… he sounds so cool! Strong and silent types are the mysterious types! I'm starting to like this god. He's like an angel!!!" Mayura squealed with excitement.

Heimdall began to relax, as it seems that Mayura was likening him to an angel and was falling head over heels for him. Fine… as long as she doesn't make another idiotic comment.

Loki frowned. He didn't like Mayura comparing Heimdall to an angel, and deeming him as a devil. He had been feeling victorious and happy when Mayura unknowingly embarrassed Heimdall, but now that Mayura had reverted back to Heimdall being and angel, he felt both disgusted and frustrated. If Heimdall was an angel, then the sun would rise from the west…

Freya thought that this was the best chance to wrench Loki's attention away from Mayura and onto herself. "That's nice, Mayura-san. But for me, I prefer Jasshin Loki. You have no idea how wonderful he is. He's more of an angel than anybody else. A playful angel though…" She winked at Loki across the table.

Meanwhile, Mayura was still dreaming about "angelic Heimdall", not hearing Freya's words at all. Opposite her, Narugami was grumbling to nobody in particular: "First she falls for the god whom she doesn't know is Loki, and now she praises Heimdall for his good looks and character? This girl is silly…" His tone switched to a grudging one, green with envy at the same time. "So, in conclusion, Loki and Heimdall are good-looking to her, but I'm only a barbarian?! Argh!! I'll make sure the mortals rewrite that book when I get back to Asgard!"

Mayura snapped out of her daydream and continued reading. "He proved his intelligence when he came up with the idea of sending Thor to Jotunheim to retrieve Mjollner from the giant, Thrym. This helped to stop Thor from causing destruction and creating chaos with his then uncontrollable rage, and saves Freya from having to marry Thrym. Woah… he is really smart, cool, good-looking, kind and gentlemanly!!!"

Heimdall crossed his arms over his chest, proud of himself.

Loki muttered out loud: "Yeah right. If he were really so intelligent, he wouldn't have lost his precious something and come after the person who doesn't have that precious thing. That's downright stupid… a big FOOL…"

Heimdall jerked his head towards Loki. "I'm gonna kill you…"

Loki, who was very put off and already fuming at Mayura's description of Heimdall, was glad to try bashing the lights out of Heimdall. He narrowed his eyes at Heimdall, daring him to try.

"Now, now. Let's try not to fight. That's too violent. I thought you two were gentlemen…" Narugami mocked, happy to get a chance to shoot back at the two so called good-looking gods. He laughed, desiring to get his pride back.

But Freya, who jumped to Loki's defense immediately, delivered a full crashing blow back at Narugami. "Oh really? Then who was the idiot who lost his hammer and wanted to trade a lady to a monstrous, filthy giant to get it back? Is that known as being gentlemanly then?" She raised her eyebrow at Narugami, who had turned red from embarrassment and hung his head in shame.

"Maybe I should focus on Heimdall for my project, instead of Jashin Loki… then I can let everyone know how cool Heimdall-sama is!!!" Mayura brightened, ignoring all the sharp comments passing around the table.

"Heimdall….sama?!" Loki, Narugami, Fenrir, E-chan, Freya, Skuld, Verdandi, Urd AND Heimdall chorused, shocked.

That sent Loki into frenzy. Something burned inside him, something more than anger. Was it jealousy? He panicked. He was confused over his own feelings, but he somehow felt that he must change Mayura's impression of Heimdall from a good one to an utterly bad one. Mayura cannot admire Heimdall… No…

"Mayura, don't just judge on what the books says. It isn't all true and it's jus one-sided. He has more bad points than good ones." Loki rattled.

"Huh? But Heimdall-sama sounds like a true god to me…"

"No, no! Trust me! In actual fact, he is a scheming, evil, crazy, stubborn and pathetic god!!"

Heimdall glowered at Loki's words.

"But that sounds more like Jashin Loki!!" Mayura protested, protecting her "Heimdall-sama".

Loki felt an unbearable pain in his heart, together with total disappointment. Mayura He lost all his strength and words.

Mayura was puzzled by Loki's words. Why does he look so upset? I didn't do anything at all… She launched into deep thought, trying to figure out what went wrong.

Heimdall, witnessing the exchange between Loki and Mayura, snickered. "Maybe you should just hand your mortal girl over to me… It's apparent that she likes me more…"

Loki flashed him a look that read: "Don't you dare!"

Mayura frowned and scratched her head, unable to figure out the reasons behind Loki's reaction and the reason to why everybody was acting so strange since the time she started talking about the book. She glanced at Loki, hoping to figure out something, anything at all.

Loki sighed, feeling defeated and depressed. This is a very, very, very long day

And at this time, Freyr re-entered the scene, climbing quietly back into his seat, backing away from Heimdall (who gave him a 'try it again and I'll make sure you don't return this soon' look). He had many huge lumps bulging out of his head, and his eyes were swollen from crying.

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Poor Freyr… Will Mayura trigger another disaster?

Tune in to find out more!

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=To be continued=

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Credits start rolling:

Proud author and scriptwriter of 'Tea Time Chat' --- Tangerine Asuka

Many SPECIAL THANKS to :

- LittleGreenWolf

- GoddessLD and LokiGirl (who wrote me more than 1 reviews too)

- akuweaselgirl

- Angiee

- Candy Halliwell

- cherie-chan

- Dunebird

- Destroying Angel

- Earth Star

- Guardian of Hades

- Hikari-T3nshi

- Jessaruh

- ladytigera21

- lovesalllokistorys

- Magicalfoci

- Melrose Stormhaven

- Nadeshiko Enjeru

- Xenogenesis

- Ytak

- And an Anonymous person

And my 2 bad and slow on the supportive side friends: -laysh and Sorceress Magdalia

(I tried to add in more Freya for Sorceress Magdalia's sake… though I still think that Freya has a very small role in the anime, and maybe in the manga too…)

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! =Hugs=

Next Chapter will be up pretty soon. I've already started on it. It will be much more interesting, I think. 'Cos I always keep the better parts for the later part!!!

=The End=

Curtain falls, marking end of show. Some of the audience groans in protest (I hope, or are my ears playing tricks on me?), while others get up and leave…