Evil Is No Laughing Matter, Chapter Two By: Guinevere Richardson Rating: PG-13 E-Mail: himenoryuuhotmail.com

Chapter Two

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Risa registered the sound, realized it was her heartbeat. But why did it sound like that? She'd have to be in a hospital. Why would she be in one of those? What had happened?! Panicking, she opened her eyes and tried to sit up, tried to figure out where she was.
A nurse had been watching over her; and when she awoke the woman jumped from her chair. "Easy, now, you're alright!" She was a matronly woman, full- figured with graying hair under her nurse's cap. "Don't want to jar your shoulder too much, do you?"
Risa blinked at her, tried to recall what was wrong with her shoulder. Then she knew. Heard the gunshot, smelled the blood. Remembered their sneers and laughter. She shivered, clenching her fists in her blankets. She had to force herself to remember all of it. Someone had come...then she had been at the hospital. She'd caught one glimpse of him before she'd blacked out. "A clown..."
The nurse nodded. "Aye, that would be Last Laugh. He's a right nice hero, he is."
"Last Laugh..." Risa tucked the name away and looked at the nurse. "And who are you?"
"I'm just Molly, dear. Boring nurse." Molly smiled. "Mr. Hossorn demanded someone be with you at all times."
"My uncle has been here?"
"Oh, yes, and what a stir that was! After we convinced him you would survive, he took off for the police station. I hear that PCU's security has been tripled." Molly indicated the television high up on the room's wall.
Risa nodded slowly, digesting that. Perhaps her money could be in her favor, too. "My shoulder?"
"You were shot. Not just by any normal gun, either; whatever those ruffians used was enough to shatter your shoulder blade." Molly shook her head.
"Shatter it??" Risa demanded incredulously. "Can I use my arm?!"
"Oh, of course you can. Just had to use some pins and plates." Molly nodded. "Go ahead and test it."
Risa wasn't so sure she trusted "pins and plates." Gingerly she lifted her right arm and moved it about, but only when she tried to really stretch it did any pain linger. "Not bad."
"You'll be fine." Molly said. "In fact, you're probably able to be released."
"Good." Although Risa doubted she would go back to her apartment. Considering what all this might mean, that she would have to transfer to a different school, she sighed. Her entire life had changed because of three gang members.
"You must be hungry!" Molly suddenly said. Risa realized her stomach must have rumbled. "I don't know why I didn't think of that. I'll be right back." With that her nurse left the room, allowing her to truly think of what had happened.
She wondered if the thugs knew where she lived. She had been en route to her apartment when it had happened, but that didn't mean that they'd know. They'd have to look up her information...with a start she glanced around for her messenger bag. It was propped in a nearby chair. Risa let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. If they had gotten her license or any of that...suspicion grew. Just because the hero had grabbed her bag didn't mean that everything was still in it. Glancing at the door to make sure Molly wasn't about to pop in, she gingerly made her way out of her bed and over to the chair. Moving wasn't as painful as she'd thought it'd be, but she was stiff and sore from the bedrest. Which made her wonder just how long she'd been out.
Picking up the bag, she rummaged through the stuff in it. She made a mental note to start carrying a smaller purse to reduce the amount of crap she carried around. Her useless pepper spray was still in there, as well as all her papers and the few textbooks she'd had with her.
Her wallet, however, was missing.
With a curse she threw down the bag in disgust. Her one slim hope had just been dashed. Now she would have to leave that cute little apartment, which was looking less and less hospitable anyway now that thugs roamed the nearby streets. She'd need a new license, too, among other things. She knew they'd rack up her credit cards real quick-like once they realized how high her limits were, not that she had ever used them or even needed them.
She was still stewing, going over all the things she'd need to do, when Molly returned with her meal. The smell of food made Risa's stomach grumble again, snapping her out of her thoughts.
Molly blinked at Risa standing beside her bed, her bag on the floor, then recovered. "Well, at least we know you can walk about." She set the tray on the table. "Here you go. Soup and a sandwich to start you out since we're not sure how you'll react. Have to be safe, you know."
Risa smiled in gratitude. "Thank you." She went over to the table and sat down. "Smells good, contrary to the horror stories one hears about hospital food."
Molly chuckled. "Depends on the hospital. Here in Paragon, we have people like Mr. Hossorn to thank for such good care."
"Hmm, I suppose. That reminds me, Molly. Do you know if my wallet was in the bag when I was brought here?" Risa asked, carefully sipping her soup.
"Let's see now. That's been almost a week ago..." Molly frowned in thought while Risa's eyes widened. A week?? After a few moments Molly shook her head. "I really don't know. I wasn't here when you were brought in, and I haven't gone looking. Mr. Hossorn would know, though, as he came right away when we called him."
"How did you know it was me, if you didn't have my wallet for identification?" She wondered aloud.
"Oh, Last Laugh told us who you were." Molly replied.
"He did, did he." Risa digested that as she continued to slowly go through her soup. If Last Laugh knew, then he either recognized her like the thugs had, or had seen her wallet. But if it was the latter, why wasn't her wallet here now? Surely a hero wouldn't take a person's wallet?
"Yes. And we recognized you, too, of course. He said to keep you under guard until Mr. Hossorn gave further instructions." Molly smiled. "Which explains me being here."
"My uncle agreed with him." Risa finished the soup but decided not to try the sandwich just yet. Standing, she surveyed the room, noticing for the first time she had no window. Under the circumstances, though, she was glad. "Has anyone came to visit me besides my uncle?"
Molly nodded. "Your father came by quickly, but didn't stay long. Said he had court." That was no surprise to Risa, who merely nodded. Her uncle had always been more of a father than her real father. "Also some girls from the university. I can't remember their names, but they left those." Molly pointed at the table where some flowers were sitting. Until now Risa had just assumed they were part of the room's decor, but going over to them she found the card.
"It's from my study group." Risa smiled. "They're freaked."
"And they should be, although now with Mr. Hossorn taking charge of security over there, everything should be fine." Molly nodded.
"No one else?" Risa asked again, finishing the note and tucking it back into the arrangement.
"No, no one." Molly frowned. "Were you expecting someone else?"
"No, no. Just wanted to be sure some thugs didn't try to get me, or something." Risa replied, trying to lighten the statement with another smile.
"Oh, nothing of that sort. Mr. Hossorn increased security here too." Molly nodded. "Go ahead and use the phone to call him while I go get Dr. Tyler." With that the nurse left Risa to her devices.
Risa didn't use the hospital's phone; instead she grabbed hers out of her bag. Her uncle's number was on speed dial. He answered on the first ring, which was rare. "Yes?"
"Uncle?" Risa laughed softly. "It's not like you to answer on the first ring."
"My god, Risa!!" Her uncle's relief and excitement was palpable through the line. "You're the reason I answer on the first ring now. I've been worried."
"Surely the doctors reassured you?" Risa frowned.
"Oh, they did, they did. I just don't trust them myself." Her uncle explained.
Risa didn't blame him. It was misdiagnosis that had killer her mother. "It's alright, because I'm alright. My shoulder doesn't even hurt."
"Are they releasing you?"
"Not sure. The nurse is getting the doctor now."
"I'll be up there soon. I'm almost done working here. Shouldn't be more than a half hour, if you can wait that long?" Her uncle asked.
"What, I can't leave alone?" Risa demanded, half teasing.
"Hell no." Her uncle chuckled, then his voice sobered. "In all seriousness, no, I want you to wait there for me. Until we get to the bottom of this, I don't want you anywhere by yourself. I've already got SWAT members lined up to escort you to and from school."
"The SWAT??" Risa sighed, feeling her upcoming embarassment already.
"Yes. I don't want to take chances." Her uncle replied, his tone clearly stating his decision was final.
"Alright, alright. But, uncle? Do you have my wallet?"
"Your wallet? Shouldn't it be in your messenger bag?"
"Oh, I didn't think to look there. I'll see you in a little while." With that Risa exhanged good-byes and hung up.
"Shit." Risa didn't know what to think. She supposed she'd wait for her uncle, then discuss it. No point in worrying him beforehand, since she supposed she'd still be at the hospital tomorrow.



A quick discussion with Dr. Tyler confirmed Risa's supposition. They wanted her to stay one more night now that she was conscious just to be sure before letting her go. Risa agreed with them. She had already seen her uncle, also, who was disappointed that she had to stay but grudgingly admitted it was probably for the best. With a kiss on her forehead he had left, saying he'd be back the next day to take her home.
Home, Risa mused. She guessed that meant the mansion her father had. Or perhaps her uncle's loft near Portal Corp. Neither was truly home to her. The house she had grown up in had long since deteriorated, and the second closest thing she had was that apartment, which was no longer an option. With a depressed sigh she clicked off the tv, tired of listening to the news. She supposed she might as well go to sleep; even though she hardly felt tired and it was the last thing she wanted to do after being in a bed for a week.
She got up from the table and went to her door, then decided against it. The little window in the door had shown her the officers directly outside it who would just tell her to go back in. She didn't feel truly imprisoned, but she didn't feel free, either. A good book might help her pass the time, but all she had was those textbooks. Deciding that was better than nothing she went back to her bag, only to find her uncle had left her something.
Blessing him, she grabbed the Jonathan Campbell novel, only to freeze at a soft thud behind her. Whirling, she warded the bag in front of her to use as a makeshift weapon if she had to.
The person in front of her, however, wasn't there to harm her.
"Looking for this?" Last Laugh asked easily, dangling her wallet in his hand.
Risa blinked at him, not sure whether to be angry or happy. This was, after all, the man who had saved her life. However, he was also the man who had taken her wallet–albeit he was returning it now–and was doing so with such a mischievous smirk she wanted to hit him.
She supposed that was why he was called Last Laugh.
She opted for anger. "Give me that!"
Last Laugh turned a frown on her, but for some reason she knew it was for show. "Now, now. What kind of welcome is that?"
Risa stared at him, scowling. "A decent one for someone returning a wallet that they stole."
"But would it be decent for someone who saved your life?" Last Laugh returned, raising an eyebrow.
Risa scowled, knowing he was right. "No."
Last Laugh tossed the wallet to her, and she instinctively caught it in her right hand. Her shoulder only twinged slightly at the sudden movement, which had Laugh raising his brows again. "Doesn't it hurt?"
Tucking away her wallet, Risa shook her head. "No." She glanced at him across the room, trying to determine just what kind of person he was. Sincere concern had flickered across his face just then, but then again, he had stolen her wallet. She couldn't get over that. And what kind of hero dressed like that anyway?
"The kind that likes attention, I guess." Last Laugh said with a knowing smile.
Risa's cheeks burned as she realized she had just said her last thought aloud. "Well you certainly do that. Get attention, I mean." She waved a hand to encompass his outfit. From head to toe, he was all black and white. He wore black spandex with white checker marks on the sides, and big white boots and gloves. On his chest was a symbol of two masks, similar to Mardi Gras. His hair was in dreads, and he wore black and white clown make-up. Despite his costume, however, Risa knew firsthand that he was a serious hero that could do his job.
"Do I meet your standards?" He asked idly after a few moments of her staring.
Risa scowled again, torn between laughing at herself and being mad at him. "Thank you for returning my wallet. I was worried the thugs had it."
"Nice turn of subject." Last Laugh glanced around the room, then back at her. "So far, I've determined the Hellions don't know where you live. They do, however, know that you go to school at PCU. However, it seems your uncle's thrown his weight around over there, and there won't be any problems."
Risa digested that, then realized. "You've been to my apartment??"
"Well, yes. Heroes have to follow up, you know, and I wanted to be sure you could return there." Last Laugh smoothly answered.
"Doesn't matter. I'm not going back there." Risa sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "What else have you done?"
"You make it sound like I–"
"Invaded my privacy? Because you did." Risa interrupted.
"Stole underwear or something." Last Laugh finished.
"What??" Risa's jaw dropped. "You didn't–"
"No, I didn't. I just watched the place." Last Laugh shook his head. "Anyway, I came by when I heard you had finally woken up."
"Finally?" Risa glared. "Have you ever been–"
"Shot, yes, and no, I didn't take that long to wake up." Last Laugh kept on. "And besides, I had to return your wallet and see how you were."
Risa just blinked at him, wondering how he always knew what she was going to say. "Well, thank you again."
"Just doing my job." Last Laugh replied with a wink.
"That is so–"
"Cliche, yeah yeah." He waved. "Take care of yourself."
"Wait!" Risa didn't know what had possessed her all the sudden, but she grabbed his arm. Then blinked at just how muscular he was. "Damn.."
He actually blushed beneath his make-up. "Ah.."
Risa shook her head, smiling despite herself at his embarassment. Then she turned serious and looked him in the eye. "I want to help you."
That got his attention. He frowned. "No."
"What? Why not?" Risa frowned back, not used to being directly refused.
"It's dangerous."
"What are you, my uncle? I want to help! I need to pay those bastards back."
Last Laugh glanced heavenward as if seeking divine intervention. When nothing happened, he sighed. "You can gloat when I toss them in jail."
"But I can help you toss them in jail!" Risa protested.
With a sigh he picked her up and plopped her on the bed. "Forget it. Just go on with your normal life, or as normal as you can get it to be."
Risa crossed her arms over her chest. "But I could help, really I could."
"Really?" He propped himself up against the wall. "Do share your talents with me. Maybe I'll reconsider. Can you blast fire? Throw forklifts? Heal? Maybe control minds?"
Risa's eyes were getting darker and darker with anger. "No."
"Well then. I guess you're not hero material, unless you have some other trick up your sleeve?" Last Laugh raised an eyebrow, daring her to suggest some other power she might have, such as control of the weather. When she said nothing, he nodded. "That's what I thought."
"You'll see." Risa's hands were clenched in the sheets of the hospital bed. "I'll show you!"
"I'm sure you will." Last Laugh gave her a mocking salute, then left the same way he had come: silently.
Risa watched him leave with an almost evil smile. She'd show him, alright.