Title:I don´t want to be me! I want to be you!

Summary: A couple of men aren't happy with themselves and would like tohave a go at being someone else.Let's let Gandalf and all the others try another life. Do you think Gandalf will do a good job being Legolas? Mix in a Stone door with a tragic past, a forgetful Balrog and soldiers on strike. The result is a Lord of The Rings Cake!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story. I don't own anything in this story. Well, except for a couple of the Ents, and the Stone door and… This is my first fanfiction.

And last but not least: a bunch of roses to XNemesis for beta reading this for me


Aragorn...Gollum

Boromir...Pippin

Merry...Gimli

Pippin...Elrond

Sam...Gandalf

Frodo...Boromir

Legolas...Aragorn

Gimli...Sam

Gandalf...Legolas

Gollum...Frodo

Elrond...Merry


The next day the Fellowship is getting ready to start their trip to Mordor.

"EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!"

"What the heck are you screaming for?" Gimli asks Legolas.

"Oh, I've just told him that I haven't had a bath in five months…" Aragorn answers and smiles wickedly.

"Eru! No wonder you smell…" Sam says and stares surprised at Aragorn. A very pale Legolas puts his nose in his clothes and sniffs, after that he turns into a very healthy colour of green.

"Yeah, you're even worse than I am," Gimli agrees.

"When was your last bath?" the Hobbit wonders. Gimli lifts his eyebrows and starts very slowly count on his fingers.

" Four months and…" He counts on his fingers again." …Twenty-nine days."

Aragorn laughs loudly. " Hahaa… Looser!" Gimli is offended and sniffles proudly, looking for words.

"Well… You… I… I hate you!" With that Gimli stomps away. After a while he turns around and gives Aragorn the finger.

"Gee…What childish behaviour." Aragorn states and rolls his eyes. Everything is quiet. On a distance from Aragorn, Sam and Legolas, Gandalf wonders if he truly saw Aragorn making faces behind Gimlis retrieving back. Slowly Legolas recovers from the big shock.

"Alright… No bath… Five months…" the elf says and takes a few deep breaths.

"Did I mention that I haven't washed my clothes in eight months and seventeen days?" Aragorn says, like by the way.

Legolas faints.

" He was right! This will be so much fun!" Aragorn sates happily and jumps away laughing insanely.


In the house of Elrond, Frodo is explaining to Gollum what he has to do.

"Tell me little tasty hobbitsie, what are we sssssupposed to do?" Gollum asks and licks his lips.

"You are going to take the ring…" Frodo explains.

"We likesss the sssound of that, don´t we precious?"

"… And you have to wear it on a chain…" he continues.

Gollum looks disappointed. "Not fingerssss, lovely hobbitsie that has tasssssty feet?" Frodo ignores the thing about his feet.

"No."

"Stupidsssss." Gollum mumbles.

"Anyway…" Frodo continues and clasps his hands. "Then you go to Mordor and destroy the ring in Mount Doom. Understood?"

Gollum looks sceptically at Frodo, "Let us ssssee. Take the ring-"

Frodo nods agreeingly.

"Go to Mordor-"

Frodo nods agreeingly.

"Walk to Mount Doom-"

Frodo nods agreeingly.

"And destroy my precious?"

Frodo nods agreeingly.

Gollum ponders for a while. "What if we putsss the precious on our fingersss and hidesss it… No one will find it because no one will sssee it. Ssssounds better?" Gollum suggests hopefully. Frodo actually thinks about the suggestion.

"We'll see…"

Gollum smiles a breathtaking smile. "Nice hobbit with tasssty feet."

Frodo turns pale. "Forget it." And walks away.

Gollum looks disappointedly at the retrieving back of Frodo. "Oh, bugger."

The Fellowship is ready to go on the very dangerous trip to Mordor, where someone could die or if the Fellowship fails the whole of Middle-Earth will be overtaken by Sauron

"I can't wait! I'm so excited! Aren't you excited?" Gandalf asks and jumps up and down. Everyone looks at him.

Gandalf stops jumping and looks sourly at the rest of the gang. "You're so boring." After a while he starts smiling again and aims at Pippin with Legolas bow.

"Bam! Haha! You're dead! Play dead!" Pippin, who stands where Elrond would usually stand, glares at Gandalf.

Gandalf sighs "You're no fun."

Pippin clears his throat and looks around, " Middle-Earth's fate is in your hands. If you fail, we can kiss soft toilet-paper and fluffy, pink slippers goodbye," Pippin declares seriously. Everyone looks horrified.

"I'm sorry, but someone had to say it," Pippin sniffles sadly. "Now go out there and save the world. Um... Good luck?"

The Fellowship, containing Gollum as Frodo, Gimli as Sam, Legolas as Aragorn, Sam as Gandalf, Frodo as Boromir, Gandalf as Legolas, Merry as Gimli, Boromir as Pippin and Elrond as Merry, walks away from Rivendell. Aragorn walks behind them as Gollum on his hands and feet.

Our very own brave Fellowship is ready to defend the world with their wisdom and weapons…

"Bam! Boromir I hit you, you're dead!"

Every man for himself! Middle-Earth, it was nice knowing you!