Disclaimer:I don´t own anything in this story. Well, except for a couple of the Ents, and the Stone door and… This is my first fanfiction. .
I just have one thing to say...: I'm really flattered that you like my humble story!
Aragorn...Gollum
Boromir...Pippin
Merry...Gimli
Pippin...Elrond
Sam...Gandalf
Frodo...Boromir
Legolas...Aragorn
Gimli...Sam
Gandalf...Legolas
Gollum...Frodo
Elrond...Merry
Everyone looks at Aragorn.
Merry shakes his head in disbelief, "Gee, I can't believe he took a bath..."
"Well... I don't think he believes it either..." Elrond frowns. Legolas stands a couple of feet away from the others, wearing a goofy smile, while he sniffs at his clothes.
Legolas inhales loudly and sighs, "Ah..."
Gimli turns hastily around facing the elf, "What was that supposed to mean?" He places his hands on his hips.
"Umm... Nothing..." Legolas bites nervously his lip and seems very interested in his feet.
Sam studies the elf closely and ponders, "You look different... You smell different... Hmm..."
Suddenly, Sam takes a horrified breath, he covers his mouth with one of his hands, "Valar. You took a bath..." Everyone takes a horrified breath. Legolas has never been more interested in his feet.
Merry stumbles backwards and points a shaking finger at the elf, "Y-you..."
"I can't believe it..." Boromir denials it.
Gollum hisses angrily, "Nasssty elfie..."
"How could you...?" Frodo turns into a unnatural pale colour and starts to cry.
Elrond glares at Legolas. "Look what you did..." he states and starts to comfort Frodo, who is looking up at the roof asking the Valar: Why? Why him? Why Legolas? Take me instead...
"Never trust an elf!" Gimligrumbles with a sour face.
Sam shakes disappointedly his head, "You did the most forbidden thing on whole Middle-Earth."
"Okay, I took a bath," Legolas defends. "But that's not the end of the world."
Frodo is lying on the ground crying and begging.
Sam walks with determinate steps to Legolas and stops just a few inches from the elf's stomach. "You did something Aragorn never would do freely. You took a bath!" With every word the hobbit pokes a finger into the elf's belly.
Legolas pushes the hobbit away from himself and bends down to Sam's eye level, "Come on, it isn't so bad. Right?"
Sam looks seriously into the blue eyes of the elf and says, "Remember what Elrond said: "I have a marvellous idea! Put your name on a piece of paper. Put them in this hat. Now pull out a paper piece. Read the name on it. Now, if Frodo gets a paper where it says Gimli. He becomes Gimli. Understood? Your paper piece said Aragorn, you're supposed to be Aragorn... And look what you have become...You make me sick!" Sam has tears in his eyes. Legolas looks regretfully at the ground.
Sam whips away the tears and sniffles loudly. "Now, what should we do with you...?" he states with a cold voice and starts pacing around.
"You broke a holy bond... You should be banished from the Fellowship..." he mumbles.
Legolas widens his eyes, "NO!" He throws himself at Sam's hairy feet.
"Please, don't do it! I'll do anything! I can even kiss your feet!" he begs and takes a tight grip on Sam's grey dress.
Sam looks at the elf at his feet and raises an eyebrow, "Oh really? That I would like to see..."
Legolas looks up at Sam and states sceptically, "Seriously?"
"I'm just joking. Continue," Sam brushes away Legolas offer.
Legolas continues to beg, "Give me another chance... I promise I won't screw it up!"
Now it's Sam's turn to bend down. "Can I trust you?" he asks and looks into the elf's eyes.
"Of course!" Legolas assures.
Sam stands up. "Alright," he says briskly. "But you only get one chance," he suddenly turns serious.
Legolas bends his head down in gratitude, "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." After awhile he turns up a tear-streaked face and asks, "Really, do you want me to kiss your feet?"
Sam broods, "Hmm..."
"Because I could do it... If you want me to..." Legolas nods energetically.
"...alright, but only once," Sam says and holds up one finger, as if to show to Legolas how many times one is. With a nod Legolas bends over and kisses Sam's feet.
"Eww... I got hair in my mouth..." Legolas complaints and makes a sour face.
Frodo is on his knees and holds his hands up in the air, "No! Make this untrue! Make it stop!"
Elrond brushes his nose and pats then the crying and shouting Frodo on the shoulder, "Umm... Frodo? You can stop now, Sam has forgiven Legolas, and he stays..."
Frodo stops abruptly, lowers his hands and looks blankly forward, "Oh..."
Frodo shrugs and stands up.
"Do you really mean that?" Frodo asks Elrond and grips Elrond's shirt.
Elrond nods, "Yes."
Frodo looks relieved, "Good." He looks suspiciously around, before yanking the elf down and whispering into his ear, "My heart almost broke."
Elrond presses his lips tightly together, before sceptically saying, "Right..."
Boromir looks around in the dark cave, "It's awfully quite here..."
"Ouch! I just stepped on something sharp!" Merry grabs his foot and tries to find the sharp object in the foot.
Boromir looks in the direction where Sam is, "Can you get some light in here?"
Sam sighs, "I'll try..." He looks suspiciously at his staff, puts a stone in it, and whispers a magic word.
Nothing happens.
Sam shrugs, "Fine, have it your way..." He whacks the staff on the ground and it lights up.
Elrond nods impressed, "Neat little trick."
"Yeah, works every time..." Sam looks with loving eyes at the staff and caresses it softly.
Gimli scratches his head, "Uhum, you have only done that once..."
Sam looks at Gimli in the "Aaaand...? Your point would be...?" way, "Yeah, but it worked..."
Boromir paniked voice echoes in the cave, "Look around you..." Everyone looks and they see dwarves lying dead on the ground.
Gimli widens his eyes and whispers a horrified no. Boromir casts Gimli a regretting eye and bends over to see what caused the dwarves death.
Gimli shivers when he asks Boromir the unavoidable, "Why? Was it Goblins?"
Boromir shakes his head and stands up, "No."
"Orcs?" Gimli tries.
Boromir gives a dwarf bone a shove with his foot, "No."
Gimli, who is getting very frustrated in this guessing game, gives a last try, "The Lake Monster?"
"Nope," Boromir answers.
Gimli frowns deeply, "Well, what?"
"Ale," Boromir states.
Gimli blinks rapidly, "What?"
Boromir scratches his cheek, "I think they took a few drinks too many..."
Gimli nods approvingly, "That is understandable..."
"I don't like this place at all. Shouldn't we be moving on?" Merry asks and shivers.
Sam bangs his staff in the ground a few times to get everyone's attention, when he has it he continues by giving orders, "Alright. Can someone wake Gandalf? Thank you Frodo. Gimli, did you have to hit Gandalf so hard with that frying pan? He's going to be delirious the next couple of hours..."
Gimli shrugs, "It won't make any difference... He's always delirious."
Gandalf wakes up.
Gandalf turns his head rapidly asking no one and everyone, "Did I kill it! Did I kill it!"
Everyone sighs.
"Alright you people. Let's go!" Sam says briskly.
When Sam's light has disappeared into the darkness, a lone figure stirs at the mouth of the cave.
"Hello? Anybody out there? Help me. I need help. I have a headache. I think I have hangover..." the lone figure says shakily.
Silence.
"Oh, that's right. I haven't been drinking... I took a bath. It's alright, calm down Aragorn. It will be all right. You will survive." Aragorn lights a matched and looks around.
"I see dead people+..."
+Taken from Blair Witch Project, I think...
