Title: Old Friends, New Relationships
Chapter Seven
By: LizD
Written: Late Summer/Fall 2004
Disclaimers: No disrespect to JAG's cast, crew or creators. With love and thanks.
Old Friends, New Relationships
Chapter Seven - Old Doors, Hidden Doors, Locked Doors
0900 ZULU (0400 EST)
USS Guadalcanal
Mac was exhausted. She hadn't sleep on any of the transports. Normally she would have had no trouble catching naps here or there, but every time she closed her eyes she heard Gates in her head.
"You can't tell anyone … no one … you have to promise me … no one." The second time Gates said that, she added, "Not even Harm."
Not even Harm. Easier said than done. It was an unreasonable request from Gates but time, location and the situation did not afford Mac the latitude to debate the issue at least not to her satisfaction – meaning she did not have enough time to get Gates to change her mind.
Mac was waiting for her last transport that would take her to the Patrick Henry. She had no idea how she was going to get any work done that day – between time zone changes, traveling, lack of sleep and just plain 'other things on her mind'; Bud would have to pick up the slack. She felt guilty about that, but it could not be helped.
"Colonel." A young petty office called to her. "We are ready for you."
"Thank you." Mac got up and grabbed her gear and her helmet. She was about to board the helo when she realized she was the only passenger. "This is it?"
"Yes, ma'am." He smiled at her. "Officially we are delivering medical supplies to the Henry. Which reminds me." He handed her a box of band aides. "Can you see that the corpsman gets this?"
"I don't understand." She shouted back.
"Commander Rabb, ma'am." He gestured for her to board without further explanation.
Mac smiled. Harm must have pulled some pretty long strings to make this happen.
"You should be arriving before the COD does, ma'am."
"Thank you."
She boarded and strapped herself in. She let her mind wander back to Harm. Their parting was strained, that was her bad.
"Promise me you will let this drop" were her last words to him, at least on the Gates subject. Hours later she knew that she was not going to be able to keep her secret from him. Gates would have to understand that. Gates may be her oldest friend, but Harm and Mac had been through so much, secrets were not an option. He would understand and keep the secret with them; that is if Mac couldn't convince Gates from revealing what really happened. Until then, she had to trust that Harm would 'leave it alone' until she got back to explain it to him in person. Trust, it was so nice to have trust with Harm. She had always trusted him with her life, trusting him with her heart took a little longer – OK a LOT longer, but trusting him with her deep dark secrets … well that was a whole other kettle of fish. But they had that now or were getting very close to having it. "Times have changed." She thought to herself. "Thank you JESUS."
1025 EST
JAG Headquarters
Harm didn't hear Jennifer knock, enter or call his name.
"Commander!" She said raising her voice.
He looked up surprised to see her at the edge of the admiral's desk. He had gotten off the phone with Admiral Schnarr ten minutes prior – she demanded more information with fewer words. Brevity thy name is Schnarr. When he reported that both Bud and Mac were on their way to the Patrick Henry (leaving out the fact that they were traveling separately and would arrive at different times), she said something cryptic.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, commander."
He was not sure if she were sending him a message, a warning or commenting about someone else, but it gave him pause.
"Commander." Coates said again "Are you all right?"
"Fine." He said quickly. "Fine, Fine. Thank you." He took the files he had requested from her. "As you were, Petty Officer." He ordered.
Coates slipped quietly from the room. She knew Harm better now and knew that if he needed her, he would ask.
As soon as the door was closed, Harm returned to his thoughts. Truth be told, he was no longer thinking about the admiral or her cryptic comment, he was thinking about Mac. Their parting was strained … at best it was strained; at worse it was a fight that had been put on hold. He tossed and turned all night wishing he could speak with her, regretting his choices, fearing her reprisals, but needing to know the truth, the truth she would not tell.
The day before, he had left work early and picked her up at her house to drive her out to Andrews. She was quiet for most of the thirty minutes it took to get to the base. She had spoken in short brief sentences but had given almost nothing away about her interview with Gates though she had been there most of the day. She had seen Admiral Schnarr at the police station. They didn't speak, but Schnarr was now aware that the 'orders' had been altered. There was going to be some version of hell to pay when all this was over. Neither cared about that.
Harm was trying to let her find her own words, but time was running out. Soon she would be on the first of many transports that would take her away for days thereby ending any opportunity they would have of speaking about what happened in private or without the aid of some communication device.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked a little too harshly. "How's Gates?"
"She is fine." Mac stated. "Gates is always fine."
"Did she do it?"
Mac turned to face out the window.
"Mac?" He asked again. "Did she do it?"
"It was an accident." She said to the window. "He was handing her the gun for safekeeping, it went off. It was an accident."
"She expects you to buy that?" He said a little too flippantly. He still didn't like Gates and Harm almost always wore his feelings on his sleeve.
Mac eyes flashed in anger as she snapped her attention back to him. "Yes she does." She said with a force that nearly blew him from the car. "And I expect you to BUY it to."
"Mac."
"Gates does not lie."
Well, Mac would not lie – at least not to Harm, not after everything they had been through together. He knew that, but he also knew that that explanation was too far fetched. He assumed that Mac was not thinking rationally. She was not looking at this situation objectively. She was too close. He would have to be her voice of reason … of reality. "Everyone lies, Mac." He lobbed back at her. "Particularly when his or her ass is on the line."
She put up her hand to stop him. "Harm, leave it alone." She ordered.
"Leave what alone?"
"Leave Gates alone, leave this incident alone – there is no reason you need to be involved at all." She shook her head.
"Too late." He gave her a condescending smile. "I'm in."
She glared at him. "No."
"If you are in, then I am in." He was a little too cocky and a little presumptuous with his position as her 'significant other.'
"And I am asking you to stay out."
"Mac." He argued.
"Why do you care … you don't even like her?"
"I like her … " He protested. He reached over to take her hand. " … well enough to want to help her out of this mess."
Mac shook her head. The words were false in her ears.
Harm made a better case for himself. "Regardless of my feelings for Gates, I love you, she is your friend, I want to help."
"I won't have you saying anything negative about her." She turned away. "I won't fight with you about her."
"Mac, how well do you really know her?"
"No, Harm." She held up her hand. "Stop NOW!"
"Mac, I'm on your side."
Mac relented. She knew Harm was trying – the only way he knew how, but this time his help was unwelcome and would cause more damage than good. Mac gave her word to Gates; she had to respect her friend's wishes even if she didn't agree with them. "I know …I know you think you are helping, but you aren't." She scolded and he looked hurt. She backed off a little; she wasn't mad at him. She was mad at the situation. "Harm if you want to be on my side – then trust me. Leave it alone."
"I can help." He asserted. "I want to help."
"There is nothing more that needs to be done." She stated. "Let AJ handle it. Please. We are already in enough trouble with Admiral Schnarr."
Harm did not agree and he really didn't give a rat's behind about Admiral Schnarr.
"Promise me you will let this drop." She entreated.
Harm nodded but did not actually promise he would. She couldn't press him for the verbal promise because they needed to get her to where she had to be or she would miss the transport. She trusted that her request was enough. Harm did not see it that way. Their parting was stiff and strained with no kiss. Of course they were in uniform and not in a place that was conducive to lovers taking their leave from each other, but there was a definite divide between them. They would have to work that out while she was gone and more so when she was back.
Coates pulled Harm back to current again. "Commander, Victor Galindez is here to see you."
He stood to greet the Gunny. "What did you find out?" He asked once they were alone. Harm had called Victor on the drive back from Andrews. He was not going to let this thing with Gates rest, in spite of Mac's request.
"Nothing useful." He stated calmly. "But I found something pretty damaging … the good news is that I doubt the DA will be able to get his hands on it."
1118 EST
Arlington Police Department
Detective London was still typing his report; he had been at it all night. With NCIS and JAG involved his captain wanted to make sure all the "i" were dotted and "t" were crossed. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his eyes. Typing reports was the part of the job he liked least – actually it was torture for him every time. He was a frustrated novelist, but creative writing had very little to do with report writing. It was very difficult for him to report only facts and ALL the facts. More often than not he found himself selecting the facts he wanted to include which would force a specific conclusion. It was not his job to 'conclude,' that was for the DA.
"So?" Asked his partner Starsky who had gone home early and wandered in late – AS USUAL.
"So what?" London replied craning his neck. He never liked his partner.
"So what happened?" Starsky pushed.
London wanted to say something snide like 'why don't you wait for the movie', but chose to answer in short sentences. "She made bail and will be released in an hour."
Starsky picked up the report and read. London was too tired to care. "You spelled 'alleged' wrong … there are two 'd' in Madden … the neighbor's name is 'Jane' not 'Janet', Janet is the wife … the wife really hadn't seen him in weeks? Interesting." He looked up from the report to his partner. "The weapon has no serial numbers on it?"
"Not a one." He was annoyed that he was the source of information for his in-name-only partner.
"Well, she did work for the CIA … probably picked it up from them." He tossed the report down on the desk. "You know she claims that the weapon was his, not hers."
"Next page." Gesturing to the report that his partner was too lazy to finish reading.
Starsky sat down and leaned back in his chair as if he had earned a rest. "She claims not to know how the door got broken."
"He says the door was kicked in when he arrived." London reported. "Suggested that the other man might have done it."
"Other man … she didn't say anything about another man."
"I know."
"Did you ask her?"
"Said he was there, never entered the residence and left."
"Who is he?"
"She will not give up his name. Says he has nothing to do with the 'accident'."
"Accident … accidentally shooting your ex-husband … who the hell is going to buy that?"
London threw himself forward in his chair. He was frustrated. "I can't disprove it."
"She has been charged." Starsky defended.
"That may have been premature." London glared at him. Starsky was the one that pushed through the filing of the charges. "Until we have all the forensics and maybe even afterward, Madden's account of the incident is just as likely as Schnarr's."
"So … it is a case of he said - she said?" Starsky didn't care. "Who do you think they are going to believe … a decorated retired Captain in the Navy or some washed up shrink who was fired from the CIA? Come on … America loves the military and pretty much hates the CIA." He laughed. "It is a slam dunk."
London shook his head. "You're a real piece of work Starsky." He took a long drink from his warm Coke.
1800 ZULU
USS Patrick Henry
It had been a very long day. Bud did his part and most of hers. He was such a good lawyer. Mac chided herself for being surprised at that. He had always been a good friend; that was never in doubt. He left her alone in the quarters they were assigned as an office to give her time to rest and make some phone calls if she needed to.
Mac had tried to get through to both Gates and Harm; she was unable to. Mac thought back to her second meeting with Gates that day.
After the charges were filed and Gates was booked, Mac had another opportunity to meet with her alone. She tried to talk some sense into her.
"Gates if he assaulted you …"
"He didn't."
"What do you mean 'he didn't'?" Mac couldn't believe that Gates would deny it.
"Look … it got a little rough … but he was drunk and really upset." She looked back at Mac. "You know how it is … I am sure I provoked him."
Mac lost it. "I DO KNOW HOW IT IS, Gates … there is nothing that you said or did that could have provoked him to hit you or --."
"You don't believe that." Gates suggested.
"NOTHING." Mac affirmed. There was plenty she could have done to make him mad, but hitting was never acceptable … and rape – Mac could barely think about it. "For God sake you are a doctor … a psychiatrist … you know better than that."
"Mac."
"Gates."
"Think about it logically." Gates screeched. "If I say he assaulted me, then they will say I tried to kill him. I didn't … it was an accident."
"Self defense?"
"He was outside my house … he was leaving … the truth is that it was an accident, it doesn't matter what happened before."
"It matters, Gates."
"Baby, look, I love you for caring … but it was my fault. Let me deal with it."
"What are you talking about? None of this was your fault."
"It will be fine." Gates assured her.
"I don't know how to tell you this, but it won't be."
"Honey, honey, honey … Glenn will tell them it was an accident … and then we can all go home."
"Glenn is the one that said you shot him." She was surprised that Gates did not know that. "He made a statement … they haven't been able to get him to shut up. He said that he was invited to your house, that you have been calling him for months, that the weapon was yours and that you shot him when he tried to leave."
Gates looked shocked. It hadn't occurred to her that he would lie – lie HELL, it hadn't occurred to her that he would make up such a pack of lies.
Mac urged her again. "Gates, look … I hate to be so crude but … he assaulted you … if he raped you … there is physical evidence that we need to get. Time is of the essence. Please let me take you to the hospital."
"No!" Gates was horrified.
"Gates please."
"I said NO." She screamed. "NO means NO. People need to learn to understand that."
"Gates."
"No, I won't do it."
"Gates, I will be with you every step of the way."
"No." She was firm. "It didn't help last time." Gates stood up. "I won't go through that again. Never again." She looked back at Mac. "It was an accident. He was handing me the gun, it went off … it was an accident." Gates wiped at the tears, which would not be held back.
Mac's jumped as the sound of the phone yanked her out of her thoughts. She wiped at the tears that had been unconsciously sliding done her own face. She needed a few deep breaths before she could pick up the phone.
"MacKenzie." She said with a near steady voice.
"Your call to Falls Church is going through now." The operator said.
"Thank you."
1825 EST
JAG Headquarters
Harm sat at his own desk. He didn't like working out of Schnarr's office.
"Commander?" Jennifer's voice came from the doorway. "Do you need me to order you some dinner?"
Harm did not look up. "No, thank you. You can secure and go home Jennifer."
"Are you sure?"
He looked up at this woman who was becoming so much more than a friend; she was an ally. "Go home, Jennifer. Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can. Mattie will be back on Monday night."
"About that, sir." She still had to call him 'sir' at the office though he would not have pressed it if she didn't when they were alone. "Will you be going to get Mattie this weekend?"
"No, she is going to have to take the train."
"Mattie hates trains." Jennifer offered.
"She'll live." Harm smiled. He had had that discussion with Mattie yesterday.
"Sir, I could go get her if you want."
"You want to drive to Vermont?" He had a sneaking suspicion that Mattie had put Jennifer up to this. "Did Mattie ask you?"
"No, sir. And … well … well, I wouldn't do it in one day … I thought we would leave on Friday afternoon, come back Monday."
"WE?" Harm smiled. "Who is 'we' paleface?"
"Jack and I." She said softly.
"Ah, the infamous Jack." Harm leaned back in his chair.
"You met him, sir."
"I did indeed, Petty Officer." Harm tried to look disapproving but he couldn't. Jack was a very good man and would make a fine officer one day and God knows Jennifer deserved a weekend of fun with a man who would treat her well. He nodded. "You aren't taking your car." He warned.
"No sir."
"And Jack's truck won't do."
"No, sir." She agreed.
"I suppose you thought you would take the Lexus."
"The thought crossed my mind, sir." She smiled at her plan being so easily seen through.
He grinned. "Fine. Secure early tomorrow and have a good time." He waved her away. "Be careful driving." He called almost as an after thought.
"We won't get a scratch on her." Jennifer promised.
"I don't care about the car, Jen … I care about the people inside."
She smiled. It was the truth. Harm thought of her as family, just as much as he thought of Mattie as family. "Thank you."
"Again, it is I who am in your debt."
"We'll settle up one of these days." Jennifer smiled and left.
Harm made a mental note to call the bed and breakfast that Mac had wanted to go and get them a room. He didn't want to think about what would happen in that room, but … He laughed to himself. He really was like an older brother. He made another mental note to call Jack when he got home to remind him to be a gentleman.
Harm went back to the files in front of him – they were both from the CIA and marked confidential. The Gunny still had connections. One label read: "Schnarr, Glenn Alan, Captain, USN", the other read "Madden, Joyce Carroll Gates, MD".
After his conversation with Victor that morning, Harm wondered if he knew Gates at all. His chivalrous side was coming out again. Harm hated to see women hurt.
He needed to review the part that Gunny had told him about that morning. He flashed back to what the gunny had said.
"This isn't the first time she was involved in an 'accident' where a man nearly died." Gunny stated casually.
Harm was stunned.
Gunny explained. "When she was eighteen there was a vehicle/pedestrian incident with a one Leonard Schwartz."
"Gates was in the car?" Harm pressed.
"Yes, sir. Schwartz didn't press charges. The injuries were minor and there were no credible witnesses. Gates claimed that she was just trying to leave the house they were at and he jumped in front of the car. It was an end of the summer party apparently --- lots of drinking and drugs going on. You know how it is."
Actually Harm had no idea how it was. He did not live the normal high school life with big parties and he never did drugs. "That's it?" He said hoping that it was.
"Originally she had claimed that he raped her, but she withdrew that complaint too."
"The police didn't pursue it?"
Gunny felt the need to defend the police involved. "It was a date rape situation, sir. It is sad to say, that until recently most of those reports were never filed or pursued." Gunny looked uncomfortable with this knowledge. "It was almost twenty years ago, Harm. It has no bearing on what happened the other night."
Harm thought for a moment. He thought that it might. He switched gears back to the present. "What evidence did you find at the scene?"
"Not much. They didn't release the location until an hour ago. When I finally got in … the door had definitely been kicked in, there were signs of a struggle and the neighbor claims that she heard loud voices, but they had stopped an hour or more before the gun shot was heard."
"What about Schnarr?"
"Schnarr's file is pretty thin, but he worked for Navy Intelligence for many years. I'll keep digging."
"Thank you Gunny."
"Harm, you need to know something else." Gunny said.
"Go on."
"I was there when Schnarr first showed up."
"Excuse me?"
"Gates and I had gone to dinner. I was dropping her off. Schnarr came out of the shadows. He was waiting for her, he was drunk, he was agitated. I made him leave."
Harm studied him for a moment. He realized that the Gunny felt responsible. "I guess he came back."
Gunny looked down, guilt written all over his face. "I guess he did."
Harm went back to the file in front of him. It was Glenn Schnarr's file. Harm needed to know more about that man. The phone rang and made him jump.
"Rabb."
"Hi." Came Mac's voice on the other end. "I'm sorry." She said quickly.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He responded back.
"I do. There is something I need to tell you, but it will have to wait until I get back."
"Ok." He said carefully. "How long?"
"A few more days – though maybe not. Bud did some great work today."
"He learned from the best." Harm gloated.
Mac took a deep breath. "Harm, I really appreciate you trusting me and leaving this thing with Gates alone." She said. "It means so much to me that we have trust."
Harm froze. Somehow he felt the need to hide the files on his desk as if she could see it over the phone. He didn't know what to say.
"Harm, did you hear me?"
"I did. I do trust you Mac. I love you."
"I love you too." She sighed again. "Hey, I need to sleep. I'll try to check in with you tomorrow."
"Ok."
"Go home, it's late."
"Soon."
"Thank you." She said again.
It tore through him.
She hung up. Harm stared at the receiver in his hand. "Damn it." He said to the room. This was going to be bad. He needed to prove his case. The only defense he would have with Mac was finding out what happened with Gates and Glenn that night and getting Gates off. If she were guilty, which he believed that she was, there would be nothing he could say to Mac. He didn't respect her wishes. How much damage was this going to cause? How much ground were they going to lose? "Damn it." He said again.
USS Patrick Henry
Mac threw herself into her rack. She tried to stop her mind from spinning but it wouldn't be stilled. She was brought back 18 years to the party at the Walker's house an event that she had blocked from her mind all this time. She remembered getting dressed and going with Gates. She remembered that Chris was going to meet them there and Mac was pretty mad at him for showing up late with the LaConte twins. She remembered that Gates was pretty messed up, but then again so was she. She didn't see Gates and Lenny go upstairs, she didn't see Gates come down the stairs or notice that her blouse was ripped or that she was crying. She was passed out in the back of the house when Gates took the car and Lenny got hit. Chris got Mac out of there before the cops showed up. Three days later, Gates was on her way to Pasadena and they stopped talking. Mac let the whole event fade to the back ground in her mind. She had troubles of her own.
Gates filled in the holes for Mac from that night, the night her son was conceived. Mac was horrified and guilt ridden.
2111 EST
Madden Residence
Harm eased the broken door open and stepped over the yellow police tape that was lying on the threshold. "Gates?"
He was met with silence.
"Gates? Are you here?" He called again.
"Living room." Came the reply.
Harm stepped into the room. Gates was on the floor by the sliding glass door. He hair was wet and she was wrapped in a bathrobe. She had one cat in her lap and another meowing and demanding to be pet. There was a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels and a package of Red Twizzlers sitting next to her.
"What brings you by, Rabb?" She said not looking up, but taking another pull from a piece of licorice.
"Wanted to check in - make sure you were OK."
"Couldn't be better." She said casually.
The one cat – a big black monster of a cat with huge ears – jumped off her lap and went to investigate the intruder. Harm squatted down and scratched the cat behind the ears. The cat seemed pleased.
"He likes you." Gates said sloppily leaning her head against the glass stuffing more licorice down her throat. "Guess even a cat can be wrong." She said under her breath.
"Who is this?" He asked.
"That's Moose and this …" She picked up the smaller orange tabby, curled her close to her chest and kissed the cat's head. "This is Kibbix – my angel."
"Hey Moose." Harm focused his attention on the black cat that was now rubbing against him leaving black cat hair on his white uniform.
"Did Mac make it on time?" Gates asked.
"She did." He was not about to tell her that Schnarr was aware of the whole turn of events. She didn't need that tonight. He stood up and moved to the chair near her. Moose padded after him. "She is very worried about you."
"No she' not … at least she didn't tell you that." Gates was sure that Mac had said nothing to Harm.
"She didn't have to." He pushed back. "I know Mac very well. I know when she is worried."
He probably did know Mac better than she did. Gates drooped her head over and grabbed the Jack. She offered the bottle to Harm.
Harm weighed the best course of action and took the bottle from her. He took a long hit.
"Whoa there, Commander." She said. "Save some for the rest of us." She took the bottle back protectively and took a hit without wiping off the rim.
"Thought you quit drinking." He stated.
"Thought it was about time I reminded myself why."
"Working on a hang over?" He said simply.
"You know it." She took another drink.
"Where are you staying tonight?"
"Here."
"Nope."
"Excuse me?"
"You are not staying here." The front door was broken, the furniture and walls were covered with dusting powder and the place was a wreck. "You are staying at Mac's." He declared.
"Don't think so." She slurred. "Not leaving my babies, not tonight."
"We'll take them with us." He said without hesitation. "Let's go."
"NO!" She yelled a little too emphatically. "I said NO … I mean NO." She was now screeching. "NO MEANS NO."
He settled back and motioned for the bottle. He took a smaller hit. "OK, but I think you are making a mistake."
"Am I?"
"Mac has cable … with seven channels of HBO." He laughed.
"Great … a hundred and ninety seven channels with nothing on."
"Her place is clean and the door actually locks."
"What are you doing here, Rabb?" She asked harshly.
"AJ told me that you refused to stay with him."
"Can't be discovered living at my lawyer's house … bad form."
"Come on, get your stuff, get dressed … you can stay at Mac's."
"Why are you pushing this?" She was not angry so much as curious.
"Trying to be nice." He stated simply. "You don't make it easy."
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, commander."
"I have heard that." He stood up. "Get your stuff."
Gates tried to stand up, but needed the wall and a helping hand from Harm. "Whoa … guess I am not driving."
"No, you aren't." He laughed. "When did you eat last?"
She thrust the Twizzlers at him. "Dinner."
"We'll stop and pick something up on the way."
"Why bother, I am just going to throw it up later."
"We are leaving the Jack here."
She pulled away from him, about ready to argue with him. A wave of nausea took her. "Probably a good idea."
"Probably." He took her arm again to steady her.
"You are just full of good idea's, aren't you Rabb?"
"Sometimes." He was helping her toward the stairs.
"Have you always been this tall?" She looked up at him and laughed.
He did too. "For a while now."
"I don't like tall men." She commented as she stumbled up the stairs. When she got half way she turned around. "Why are you here, Harm?" She was thinking that Mac had betrayed her trust and sent Harm over to be her guardian.
"Because you need all the friends you can get right now."
"Are you my friend?"
"If you'll let me be."
"Yeah, whatever." She stumbled up the stairs.
Harm found her about ten minutes later pass out on her bed. He went back down the stairs and made himself comfortable on the couch. Well as comfortable as he could with two cats sleeping on him.
END CHAPTER SEVEN