Disclaimer: I'm not even sure I own this computer, so how in the WORLD could I own Fake?

Warnings: Shonan-ai (no shit) and naughty cops on a bender (muahahaha)

Time frame: Before the 7th Manga.

Summary: It's St. Patty's Day and Dee celebrates the good ol' fashion way and Ryo is left to pick up the pieces.

Irish Temperament

"Ryo, you're coming tonight right?"

"What are you talking about?" Ryo asked his partner.

Dee sighed; leave it to Ryo to not pay attention to a conversation in the work place if it didn't involve actual work.

Rolling his eyes, Dee answered, "Everyone is going to Sherlock's Pub tonight! It's St. Patrick's Day; the one day where it's PC to get completely wasted! Everyone's going to meet up there. Well, except for J.J.; he doesn't drink," Dee added this last remark with a certain amount of joy in his voice; the last thing Dee wanted was a drunken J.J. pawing him all night.

Ryo, on the other hand, was thinking the last thing he wanted was a drunken Dee pawing him all night.

"Um, I'm good, thanks anyway," Ryo answered.

Dee face fell slightly. He had been really looking forward to relaxing and having a few drinks with Ryo.

Around 5 o' clock Ted sauntered up to Dee and Ryo's work station.

"Yo, Dee, you ready to go?"

Dee stood, stretching, "Oh, yea, free at last!" He turned to his partner, "Last chance Ryo. Come on, it'll be fun, you can work on you people skills," Dee smirked.

"Ha, ha, ha, oh you're funny. But I'd rather not; I don't like large crowds."

Dee shrugged and waved goodbye.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Come on, Ted don't be such a wimp!"

Dee was VERY drunk and had decided to challenge Ted and Drake to a drinking contest while Marty was left to referee.

Ted's head was lolling to and fro on the bar, "No, man. I give up. Take the money, I don't care. I think I'm gonna be…" He quickly sat up and stumbled away to "prey to the porcelain god".

Dee snickered, "Well Drakey boy, it just you and me!" He raised his glass high over head in a dramatic "cheers".

"Drake? Drake! Yo! Aww, come man, you old grandma,"

But Drake was already passed out.

"I guess it's all you man. I'd better get him home; he'll feel like shit later. So will you man," Marty hoisted Drake to his feet and dragged him out of the bar. Ted stumbled out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Fumbling with his cell phone, he pressed one of his speed dial numbers and waited for an answer.

"J.J. come pick me up. Yeah, I know it's late. Come on man; I'll by you breakfast tomorrow. Yeah, yeah anything you want just come on. Yeah, uh-huh. Ok, I got it. In twenty. Ok, bye."

Dee patted Ted on the back, paid his tab and walked rather unsteadily out of the bar. In the parking lot he saw Drake puking next to Marty's Toyota.

"See ya later," Dee waved drunkenly in their general direction and headed to his car.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dee!" Marty ran up to him.

"Huh?"

"Your out of your mind if you think your gonna drive. Your shit-faced man."

"Hey, your gonna drive and you've been drinking!"

"Yeah, but I paced my self, made sure I drank lots of water in between, and had a full dinner. Give me you cell."

Dee muttered something about not being a child, but handed over his phone nonetheless. Marty dialed.

"Ryo? No, it's Marty. Listen, Dee's a little tipsy. Huh? Fine, he's completely fucking drunk and he needs a ride. No, I can't. Drake's puking all over my car. I gotta make sure he doesn't pass out on his back and drown in his own vomit. Yeah, I know, sorry. Uh-huh. Ok, I'll tell him. Right, bye."

Marty handed back the cell phone.

"Ryo's on his way; he sounds annoyed so try not to piss him off too much. Just wait out here."

Dee frowned and once again muttered under his breath about not being a child and not needing a baby sitter, but he sat down on the hood of his care all the same. He could hear Marty warning Drake of the consequences if Drake should throw up in Marty's car.

Ten minutes later Ryo pulled up and Dee got in the car.

He looked sideways at Ryo," Sorry 'bout this."

Ryo sighed, but said nothing. When they pulled into Ryo's parking garage, Dee looked around questioningly.

"Ryo?"

"Just come on, Dee. I don't want to drive all the way out to your apartment to drop you off, and then tomorrow, have to pick you up and take you to get your car, so just come on."

Ryo walked off to his front door with Dee following at a small distance.

Once inside, Ryo started grabbing bedding to set up the couch with. Dee watched for a few minutes before quietly sneaking up on Ryo from behind and snaking his arms around his waist. Ryo stiffened instantly and his breath caught when Dee slowly started kissing his neck. Dee moved up to Ryo's ear and started to nibble.

Ryo moaned softly and began to yield. Dee slowly turned him around and gently kissed his Adam's apple.

"Dee," Ryo said in a voice that was both excited and nervous.

"I just wanted to thank you for picking me up tonight."

Dee kissed Ryo full on the lips. Ryo moaned and allowed his mouth to be forced open by Dee's insistent tongue. Slowly he wrapped his arms around Dee and pulled him closer allowing his fingers to catch in Dee's hair. Separating briefly in order to take a breath, Dee started to back Ryo up until they both fell onto the couch, Dee on top.

"Mmmm, this is much better, don't you think?"

"Dee…"

But Ryo was silenced one again by Dee's lips and his hands stroking his hair. Dee slowly moved down Ryo's chin to his neck and started to unbutton his shirt. When Dee's hand brushed his hand against Ryo's nipple, he tensed up again.

"Dee…stop."

"Mmmm…"

"Seriously, stop it."

"Uh-uh, don't wanna."

"Damn it Dee I said STOP," Ryo pushed Dee off and he landed with a soft THUNK on the floor.

Dee sighed and raked his hand through his hair, "Ryo, I wish you would make up your mind about me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryo responded with an air of irritation.

"If you don't want me to kiss you, why do you pull me closer? Why do let it go on? And if you do want to be with me, why do you push me away? Why do you cut it short?"

It was Ryo's turn to sigh, "You're drunk Dee and you're gonna feel like shit tomorrow. You need to get some sleep."

"You're running away again."

Ryo helped Dee up from the floor and quickly set up the couch as a make shift bed. Dee watched this under half closed eyes. When Ryo was satisfied with his work he walked up to Dee and surprised him by kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Go to bed Dee. It's a good thing we have tomorrow off, or you would be even more miserable than you are going to be."

As he walked away Dee grabbed his arm and kissed him forcefully; Ryo didn't pull away.

"Fine, I'll be a good boy tonight," Dee said once they parted, "but we're gonna talk about this tomorrow. When does Bikky come home form his school trip?"

"Saturday."

"Good," Dee smiled a wicked smile, "So it will just be the two of us ALL day."

Ryo blushed all the way to his bedroom.

END.

A/N: Well, there you are, my First Fake Fic. Bikky goes to a great school…he's always away on school trips! -o Anyway, I might write a second chapter, if anyone is interested. If not, then that's fine too. Thanks for reading, and please review! Please?

P.S. I hope my title didn't offend anyone; it wasn't meant to! 