Chapter Six

BITCH!


The randomness begins right… now.

Disclaimer: Don't own YGO, or the mention of HP. The "bitch" conversation between Cody and Julia and the story Julia told Ryou is Julia's. You can read it on her profile, Juliezer. I also don't own anything else that pops into that conversation. And the thing in science class really did happen. But I promise that we're all completely and utterly straight.


Last time:

When I came to, I was in a dungeon. Wait… I was in a dungeon?

"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" cackled a female voice.

"… What the hell?" retorted a male.

"Oh, c'mon, try it! It's fun!"

"… I'm going to pretend that I don't know you."

I stood up, my head throbbing, and started to bang on the barred door. "HEY!" I yelled hoarsely. "WHERE THE HELL AM I?"

The female voice said, "Aw damn, he woke up." Two people came towards me. They were…


This time:

… Julia and Cody.

Who were Julia and Cody?

Julia was a friend of Hikari Daeron's, a friend of mine. Cody was Cody Votolato, guitarist of the band The Blood Brothers, and also a good friend of Hikari, Julia, and their friend Veena.

"I can't believe you kidnapped me!" I said, staring.

Julia shrugged. "Yeah, whatever." She turned.

I, not wanting to be alone, screamed, "WAIT!"

"What?" said Cody.

"…' I had to think of something to say. "TELL ME A STORY!"

Julia paused. "You want to hear a story… okay. Here." She paused, and then continued. "Once upon a time there was a stupid twit who came to my profile, expecting a story. Then Juliezer came and ate her up, bones and all. Then Harry Potter came and said "Lumos!""

She paused dramatically. "You're not going to get any freaking stories here. Unless me and Cody Votolato going back and forth saying "Bitch!" and all its mutations is a story."

Cody turned to her. "Beetch."

"Bitchxxorzzzzz lolz lylas!" retorted Julia.

"Go to Abercrombie and BITCH and get yourself a nice $60 t-shirt that says BITCH, bitch!"

"Mitch Mitch bo BITCH fe fi fo FITCH, Cody!"

"T-HUU. Bitch."

"Bizznatch!"

"BEETCHIEE!" shouted Cody, as I watched silently. It was like a very amusing tennis game.

"Bitchifizzle Televizzle!"

"Bizznizzle!"

"Mary Pryor is BITCH-er for the Cubs, bitch."

"Go listen to Regina Spektor's album, Soviet BITCH!"

"You know what they say in dog shows when they're talking about girl doggies?" said Julia, with a smirk. ""What a lovely young BITCH!""

"Frau FerBITCHina!"

"How's about a big can of BITCH-ass?"

"No, I'll give you some steak and BITCH-ney pie, though!" I liked steak and kidney pie. But Cody didn't know that…

"When you were a kid, you always ate cherry BITCH-sicles!"

"Instead of getting a haircut, you get a BITCH-cut!"

"You used to have a BITCH-stache, but then you shaved it off!"

"To make your eyelashes longer," Cody said smartly. "You use BITCH-scara!"

"Yeah, well you made an album called March on, Electric BITCHES!"

"You're going to go to Lincoln BITCH High School!"

"Okay, let's shut up," said Julia.

"Wanna go headbang, lover?"

"Yes, lover!"

Very suddenly, Hikari and Veena came in. "Oh, so you're cheating on Veena now, are you?" said Hikari.

"T-HUU," said Julia. "Stupid boyfriend."

"Hey, YOU'RE the crossdresser!" said Veena.

I looked over at Hikari, who stood nearby, as the two started "arguing." "Are they lesbian?" I asked.

Hikari shook her head. "No."

"Then why…"

"One day," she began. "In science class, the three of us were bored. I was in the middle of the two, and something came up where they started to say stuff like 'Hikari, tell Veena that her boyfriend is et cetera' and 'Hikari, tell Julia that her boyfriend is et cetera.' So, eventually, Julia says, 'Your boyfriend is a crossdresser!' and Veena retorts, 'You're my boyfriend!' So ever since then it stuck. I'm supposed to be jealous of both of them, because one of our teachers thinks that I'm in love with Julia and that Julia is in love with Veena. And then, one day, our friend Stephen tried to sit down between Veena and me on the bench, and I scoot closer to Veena, and Julia says, 'So you're trying to steal my boyfriend?' So now, supposedly, those two are dating and I'm jealous of both. But we're all completely straight."

I nodded slowly. "Right…"

I didn't want to know.