I smiled and Katie put down the box she was carrying. I picked it up and inside was the PS2. (sniff) My boyfriend was going to leave me! I cried for a few seconds silently, trying to pull myself together.
"Psycho? Are you okay?" Katie asked. I sniffled some more and looked at the PS2.
"Yes..." I muttered. Katie looked at Sledgehammer.
"Psycho, did you know Astaroph is in your house.
"That's not Astaroph. Sledgehammer Katie, Katie Sledgehammer," I said. After introductions and a heck of a lot of convincing that Sledgehammer and Astaroph were NOT the same person- or even related for that matter, Katie asked the ultimate question.
"So, how ya gonna get 'im in the PS2?" I froze. Holy crap! I didn't even think about that until now! I don't think he'll fit where you put the games in!
"Um... I'm not sure." Katie sighed. I had a feeling we were gonna need a little more help, but I'll just wait and see.
"Well... We could stuff him in the little slot," I suggested. How stupid could I get today! Katie rolled her eyes.
"Psycho! We can't just stuff him in there!"
"Well whaddya suggest we do?"
"He has a hammer, right?" I think I know where this is going...
"Yeah, butI threw it in the lake when he tried to kill me!" Katie's face lit up.
"Hang on! I'll go get my snorkling equipment!" Snorkling? Nowhere in the job description did it say anything about snorkling! Katie came back ten minutes later to find me hugging Sledgehammer. (sigh) He's so cute!
"I got the snorkling stuff!" Katie yelled. After many painful hours of diving and trying to lift a 200 lb. hammer outta the lake. Owww... My arms are REALLY sore! We got it out. Although, I'M the one who dragged it up the stairs of my freakin' front porch! Katie walked behind me smiling happily. What on Earth was she planning?
"Okay! Sledgehammer! Stand in front of that PS2!" Sledgie shrugged and- THWAK!
"Don't call me Sledgie!" he growled as he smacked me with his oversized hand. I pouted. Oh yeah! Where was I? Sledgehammer shrugged and walked over to it.
"Bend over," Katie ordered. He bent to where his head was directly over the slot. Katie snickered and whispered something into my ear. I got this evil look on my face and nodded. This was gonna be good!
"What does this have to do with any- OW!" Katie and I had lifted the hammer and was smacking his head trying to get him in the slot.
"I think he's too (pant) big!" I grunted. Katie glared at me.
"Nonsense! He got out once, so he's sure to fit back in!" she yelled. We had been doing this for a few hours, and all we got in was his nose.
"He won't fit!" I said. Katie started thinking. I thought I heard Jeopardy music at that point. Hold on... I GOTS ME AN IDEA!
"KATIE! I GOTS ME AN IDEA!" I yelled. She covered her ears.
"Thanks for telling me."
"Your friend Kretzing still live in NY?"
"Last time I checked, yeah."
"Get her on teh phone!"
K: means kretzing
P: Psycho
(ringring)
K: Hello?
P: Um hi! My name's Psycho, I'm a friend of Katie's.
K: Oh! Is she there?
P: Mmhm! But I have a favor I need to ask you.
K: Ask away!
P: Could you send down some Surge please?
K: uhhhh yep!
P: Thanks! Bye!
K: Byebye!
I hung up and found Katie trying to get Sledgehammer's face out of the PS2. She pulled it out and he grabbed his hammer and hugged it like a little kid would hug a teddy bear. Without the thumb sucking of course...
"No one touches this, no one gets hurt! Kapeesh!" he asked.
"Uh... Yes?" Katie and I said together. The doorbell rang. I went to answer it.
"Special delivery for Crazy-Psycho-Chic!" a guy at the door said. I handed him some cash and opened up the box. Inside was ten bottles of Surge. Now, for those of you who don't know what Surge is, it's this drink that is LOADED and I mean LOADED with caffeine. It's been banned down here in the south where I live, so that's why I gave Katie's friend a call.
"What does this have to do with anyhting?" the attractive maniac inquiried as he studied the carbonated substance. w00t! I said somethin' smart today!
"When someone's on Surge, anyhting can happen!" I squeeled happily. Sledgehammer's face turned into a mask of horror. Crap, I'm stating to scare myself!
"you're not going to drink it, are you?" he asked. I shook my head.
"What are you? Crazy? That's nuts! Katie's gonna drink it!" I said. Katie shook her head.
"No way! Remember what happened last time?" Katie asked. Yay! I luv flashbacks!
FLASHBACK:
"Katie! That man is not David Hasslehoff!" I yelled. Oh crap... I remember this!
"I love you Davy Wavy!" she cried hugging the clerk. No more taking her to Publix!
"Katie! Leave the nice man alone!"
"Never! Lookie! Even his nametag says he'd David Hasslehoff!" She pulled it off and shoved it in my face.
"See? It says 'Dave'!" she yelled.
"Uh, my name's Charlie-"
"SILENCE DAVE!" Katie dragged him out the door and I carried the food to the car... myself.
END FLASHBACK:
"C'mon Katie! Drink it! Pllllleeeeeeeaaaassssseeeee?" I asked while getting really big Chibi eyes. No one could resist that!
"...No..." she muttered. Okay! Time to bring out the heavy artillary!
"Sledgie! Grab her!"
"Don't call me Sledgie! And why should I?"
"The more time you spend arguing, the more time you spend with me!" That seemed to get his attention! He grabbed Katie and I forced a bottle of Surge down her throat. Katie sat on the floor for awhile with a blank look on her face. After a few minutes she jumped up and ran to me.
"Hipsychowhat'supIseedeadpeoplelollmao!" Translation: Hi Psycho what's up I see dead people lol lmao. She raced around the house some more and glomped Sledgehammer. Wait... rewind and freeze1 She's huggin' MY man! I tackled her and held her up against the wall.
"PsychoIseeDavidHasslehoffinyourhousehow'dhegetoutofthetv?" (Psycho I see David Hasslehoff in your house how'd he get out of the tv?) she asked. Oh yeah. She was hyper. This was all we needed!
