Everlasting Coda
By ArchangelUK
A/N: So the first four parts were done in one go more or less, well, apologies this took so long but university work and all it just wasn't viable. Add to that the fact I'm finding it difficult to write more or less ANYTHING at the moment and a demanding audience for various other fanfics and I'm well and truly stuffed. Well if the first four united, the second will divide... the more things (and people) change the more they stay the same
I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. However, I do own a copy of "101 Brooding Ways To Increase Karma" by Gendo Ikari.... a riveting read, *folds gloved hands in front of face* Now read the chapter, or LEAVE!
[Arc 2 : The More Things Change...]
Part 5: A Counterpoint of Discord
"Take care that you do
not despise one of these little ones; for I tell you, in heaven their angels
continually see the face of my Father.
~ Matthew 18:10 ~
[Conversations On An Astral Plain]
Deep under the foundations of the third New Tokyo, beneath armour plating, solid rock and beneath an Egyptian style pyramid built of the 21st century a consciousness suddenly became aware of another. It was not visible in NERV, not to the humans that populated it for it occurred on a level above mere human understanding. The best way to describe this subliminal level would be as a mixture of shapes, tones and colours. The original consciousness that existed comprised a mix of different red and purple hues though leaning to the darker end of the spectrum. Yet it was now that a second materialised on the boundaries of the first's awareness.
"Is it you?" The purple mass shrunk back slightly in caution, whilst at the same time darkening in colour.
"Do you know who I am?" This second comprised of a white and sky blue mix, and stopped opposite the purple one.
"I know who you are." If it had possessed a body as such it would have nodded. Instead it's tone lightened and it appeared to grow more receptive to the intruder. "I am also aware of what you are."
"I see."
"I have sensed your presence before, I have sensed you in the soul of the First."
"As I have sensed you, in the body of the First." A ripple of blue darted over the white apparition almost in amusement. "We are bonded it seems on two different levels."
"Ironic." The first laughed, a ripple of ochre passing over it's own appearance.
"Indeed."
"What is it you want?"
"Well I would wish to be free." Another wave of amusement washed over the whiteness, "Alas as you are aware that is not possible."
"But it is inevitable." The seemingly younger of the voices that represented these two beings pointed out. The other did not answer; then again it wasn't required of her.
"I bring you news." This time a green flash, obviously denoting surprise could be seen in the first. "The Third is injured, through the fault of the Commander of this installation."
"Gendo?" The voice was surprised to say the least, "He wouldn't!" She went to protest further but the cool clear voice of the second cut her off.
"He is twisted." She said simply, "That is my judgement of him at least and his character. Little remains of what you knew, for he fears the Third."
"Fears him?"
"Fears him for in his eyes he can see himself, what he could have been, and what by his actions he is creating and destroying for his own purpose." The presence seemed to drift away slightly, as though it was turning its head to look skywards and away from its counterpart. "I pity the Third."
"You pity Shinji?"
"His destiny is so heartbreaking." She sighed, "Fate is cruel to him, as all those which your Evangelions touch - it's purpose is poison to the hopes and dreams of all who come in contact with it. Yet with him it goes deeper, it eats away more, until it can do so no more and only afford him endless pain. Pain that exceeds that of body and mind, but pain that wrenches his very soul - it cries out in anguish."
"I hear it... I hear it every time he pilots Unit One, his agony."
"Fate... Even Angels must bow down to that which cannot be altered."
"So you know of what will happen?"
"If all goes according to the plan of this organisation, NERV I believe you call it, and those who preside above it we shall fail. Yet if that is to be our fate we accept that as I said."
"SEELE..." The first being muttered,
"Those of the seven eyes." The second said with barely concealed bitterness. "Angel attacks mean only closer steps to achieving their goals, and not one thought is directed to the suffering of those beneath them."
The first being pondered this statement for a moment, trying to deduce whether or not the presence was speaking of the children who pilot the Evangelions or the general populous of Tokyo 3 and beyond.
"On that subject," The shimmering mass continued, "The twelfth shall arrive soon - Leiliel shall pose a most interesting challenge to the Third." It was then she sensed it, the white presence tried to shield something from her but she had failed.
"I sense your compassion towards him." She stated.
"I love all Lillim, even those which imprisoned me, even those who mock God with their mask of seven eyes."
"No." The purple and red glob changed shape, "No, I sense something stronger for him equal almost to my own."
"He has been chosen." The voice sighed, "Not by you nor I, but by that which is higher than us both. By that which is divine and righteous and can never be tarnished or dulled. The latent gift he possesses is more important than he realises. It is a key to your salvation, the rallying cry to those that wish for survival."
"What gift?"
"I think I've told you enough..." And with that the presence disappeared.
"Gendo... What have you done?"
The cage supporting Unit One shook briefly; a rumble filled the ears of those nearby almost as though something had angered the Evangelion. And heaven help anyone who had angered the temperamental berserkable Evangelion Unit One.
[Cause & Effect]
The operations room shook slightly, enough to disturb Ritsuko Akagi from the steaming cup of coffee in front of her. She blinked twice and pulled out her pocket MAGI terminal, tapped rapidly with one hand and was rewarded by three 'cause unknown' responses from Melchior, Balthazar and Caspar. The doctor yawned, these all-nighters were beginning to get her down - she would have to go out sometime with Misato, maybe Kaji too if he wasn't doing something he shouldn't. Scratching behind her left ear in a manner similar to one of her cats she swivelled in her plush chair to see Misato appear, ascending via one of the many lifts. Misato got straight down to business.
"So what's the damage?" The major tried to make it sound bouncy like she normally would have, but her eyes seemed dull and sunken, her hair lifeless and grey. The chief of operations looked as though she had had no sleep, which was unsurprisingly true. At this present time Asuka was in a chair by Shinji's bedside, his condition was touch-and-go at the very best according to the doctors. Ritsuko, poured another coffee and handed it to the major who seemed about to collapse and she did, but into an adjacent chair.
"The synchronisation rate of Shinji in the last fight was so high his nerve impulses were almost identical to that of his EVA. When Unit One became damaged he felt some of the physical pain - it's something we've seen before right from the very beginning."
"I'm aware of that Ritsu."
"You also must be aware we have some brief occurrences of similar injuries though this has primarily been seen with the First Child. Now though with Shinji's high sync ratio there was a higher degree of feedback through the impulses, all of which resulted in a total feedback gain of 25 percent."
"25 percent? What does that mean?"
"It means that on a relative scale of 1:1 between Shinji and Eva, Shinji with stained injuries equivalent to a quarter the severity of his Evangelion. What happened to the Evangelion happened to Shinji, but to a much lesser extent."
"WHAT?"
"Shinji has two broken ribs, a hairline fracture to his collar bone not to mention a blood clot the size of a golf ball on his left lung and bruises on top of bruises possibly on top of bruises."
"Whoa! No wonder he collapsed..." Misato trailed off, but was interrupted by a spray of coffee spittle that peppered her uniform. Ritsuko coughed and looked at her in wide-eyed amazement.
"Collapsed?" She yelled, "It's a wonder he's even breathing let alone been walking around for several days! By all medical knowledge he should have been dead when we pulled him out of the entry plug!" The doctor waived her arms around wildly to emphasise her point.
"Yikes." Misato managed after a few minutes, she had the sudden almost motherly urge to go and check on her charge. She would, but first she needed some information. "Have you seen Rei anywhere?"
"No. Not since yesterday, I take it you know what happened between her and Asuka."
Misato nodded, "Oh yes. I remember that very much." Then she got somewhat unsteadily out of her chair and disappeared downwards, once again back on the lift. She needed to speak to Asuka about what happened with Rei, she had tried before but she had been to preoccupied with getting Shinji into the medical bay to sustain attention with Asuka. She needed to speak to Kaji too, she could have sworn he knew more about this than he was letting on, and where was he anyway?
[Black & Bluemail]
NERV personel member R.Kaji, (number 653-4291) finished giving his report to his superior, at least, one of his superiors... not that he would ever call him anything but a thorn in his side. This thorn was Keel Lorenz, not that Kaji 'knew' that for he was not supposed to. Just like he wasn't supposed to know about the upcoming attack, Ritsuko's position within Project E, the knowledge of SEELE and indeed NERV's secret plans.
"Are you positive?" Keel seemed genuine surprised by what the stubble-chinned spy had said.
"That is what happened."
"Really... Hmm, that is so unlike Ikari." The old man mumbled almost to himself.
"The Third stood up to him, partially." Kaji trailed off for a second, "It was, hmmm, 'interesting' to view."
"What was the cause?"
"Unknown, at least at this time. I do not wish to push the issue presently as it would jeopardise my position."
Concealed by darkness Keel stroked his chin, "Agreed. Caution should always be your watchword. Do you believe it has something to do with what Ikari was asking earlier?"
Ritsuko had already hit the emergency alarm she carried with her which would signal medical personnel to come to their aide. Shinji shook and convulsed, his head resting in Asuka's lap while his father looked down on him. Those cold eyes were staring upon the large blob of blood that lay on the floor by Shinji's head. Commander Ikari had not meant to use force, Gendo had only wanted to get Shinji out of there but actions had counteractions.
There were always consequences with these things.
Ikari considered what to do for a moment and after a few seconds he decided. He adjusted those spectacles of his - and he walked away as if nothing had happened. Misato was shaking, sobbing quietly as Shinji's body shook violently almost pushing Asuka away. The redhead in question was glaring at the Commander's rapidly retreating back, and it was but a few moments later that Rei had left. Asuka begun to scream at her, demanding she came back and helped but she had not been able to see what Kaji and Misato had. That Ikari had paused in the doorway, effectively preventing the arriving the NERV paramedics from entering the room.
Ikari was blackmailing Rei into following him. She came with him, or Shinji would get no help, she had glanced at Misato who had nodded and Rei had gone. Gone with the sound of Asuka's vicious words in her ears, sounds of betrayal, fury and acid tongued spite. Of course Rei had come to see Shinji as soon as she could, but Asuka was there and had let her know exactly what she thought of her. Kaji could have sworn when Rei left there was a tear running down her pale white cheek.
He looked directly into the darkness at where the sound seemed to be coming from.
"No."
[The Asuka In Asuka's Mind]
Alone. Again. Asuka was painfully aware of her loneliness at this moment in time the steady beeping from the respirator attached to Shinji only served to remind her he couldn't answer her back. He'd done it again.
Damn him! Why does he have to keep doing that? Keep putting himself in the way for us, is that why he pilots Eva? To take punishment for others - what's up with him?
"Idiot." She mumbled under her breath, not really meaning it though part of her prayed for a simple response of 'Sorry' to come from the bed. It was not to be.
The air conditioning was annoying Asuka now. The beeping had become quieter for some reason but in this all but silent hospital room any small noise became equivalent to someone dropping a bowling ball on a library floor - a loud echoing thump. Of course the air-con was a continuous humming, a buzzing sound like a fly permanently stuck in her ear. The lack of humanity in the room was starting to get to the Second Child.
"It smells in here." She said to Shinji's still form, flaring her nostrils in disdain. "It's so sterile, an antiseptic paradise... I know it's a hospital and it's supposed to be like this but it's sooo boring!" Asuka sighed and leaned on her elbow. "You're not much fun either."
Two tired blue eyes lazily looked around the room for what must have been the sixteenth time that hour. Everything was artificial, save for her and Shinji of course. Pale orange light lit the entire ward, artificial air was pumped in, the temperature was maintained by the MAGI. Shinji's respiratory system was currently artificial, the machines hooked up to him weren't... natural.... it wasn't right for him to have those tubes in him. It just wasn't.
"Shinji?" She shook his shoulder, "Shinji?
Come on wake up idiot..." She shook more vigorously. "Apologise baka,
I need you to make me breakfast in the mornings!" Asuka had intended to
say it playfully, but it sounded desperate instead. "Shinji? Shinji?? SHINJI!"
She pulled viciously on his shoulder practically pulling him out of the bed.
She stared blankly as the covers fell away revealing the full extent of Shinji's
chest wounds. Asuka held her head in her hands, mainly to block out the view.
"Please Shinji... wake up. I don't want to be alone."
"Why did you yell at her?" Misato's voice caught Asuka's attention but she couldn't respond and so she simply looked blankly at her guardian. "Couldn't you see she was upset?"
"She's just a doll." Asuka said narrowing her eyes, "I thought perhaps I was wrong, but it seems that she doesn't feel anything. She has no will her of her own, she is just there uncaring and unwilling to use her own mind and judgement."
"She was hurt by what you said, but I think you wanted to hurt her."
"What?"
"You are very transparent Asuka." Misato stated, looking out of the window in an eerily Rei-like manner.
"Who are you calling transparent?!?" Asuka yelled getting to her feet, her eyes vast pits of fury as she prepared to explode at the older woman. A faint beep from one of the machines attached to Shinji reminded her of where she was and helped to calm her slightly. Not by much though.
"I know you care for him Asuka." Misato said quietly, turning her head to see Asuka gazing down concerned at Shinji. "It's rather obvious to someone who knows you as well as I."
"What are you talking about? You don't know who I am, not really!"
"Hikari probably realises it too."
"I do not like that idiot!"
"No you love that idiot, and what's worse is that Rei loves that idiot as well." Misato said, her voice slowly starting to get more monotone and... was her hair starting to look lighter as well?
"Rei loves Shinji?" Asuka squeaked, falling backwards into her chair with such force the wood creaked in violent protest.
"You suspected this yourself didn't you, at least it is what you believe." Asuka stared at Misato and noticed her hair seemed to be getting shorter, the walls of the hospital room faded away to darkness.
"This isn't real." She accused, "It's all a dream, you aren't Misato."
"Maybe so, but you wanted to hurt her didn't you. She was a threat to you."
"I do not listen to figments of my imagination!"
She looked at the bed, which was still there, expecting to see Shinji there,
or it at least empty. But she was horrified to find herself lying there, another
younger Asuka from around the time she was chosen as a pilot. The tubes, drips
and wires peppered the young body, yet she seemed to be conscious. Her head
rolled to one side to look at the 'older' Asuka. "What the?"
The younger Asuka's lips didn't move, yet she seemed to still speak.
"I don't need anyone, not
Mama or Papa,
I'll stay by myself and live by myself and I'll never cry again!"
"But..." Asuka stammered, "That's not right."
"But it is, you must have anything and everything you want on your terms and your terms alone."
"To live." The Misato/Rei hybrid added.
"No Mama, please! Don't kill me!"
"To survive." Asuka dejectedly replied.
"Yet you are confused as to what you feel. Rei took a big risk in exposing her emotions to you." Misato-Rei turned towards Asuka and now had red eyes, she seemed to be speaking in both Rei and Misato's voices at the same time.
"She doesn't SHOW emotion." Asuka insisted, "She can't."
"Can't or could not?"
"I..."
"She couldn't but the actions of Shinji stimulated that bit of her to realise those feelings."
"Just as it stirred those feelings in you."
"If you suddenly had feelings you did not before, if you could see father beyond borders unimaginable to you, beyond your stars... hear what you could not before, what others were really thinking you'd be-"
"-Scared."
"I don't need anyone!"
"I'd be afraid." The Second Child admitted.
"A battle should be quick and without waste."
"But if she does love him and if I do too, in what way is it that we love him?"
"We don't know."
"She is not aware of what her feelings mean."
"She took a big risk, to expose her fragility to you and you crushed her with your own anger and jealously."
"And so the puppet's strings are cut..."
"But strings can be mended if you wish it to be." Misato-Rei said as everything started to disappear from Asuka's dream and she began to wake up.
"What do you mean?" Asuka cried out to the hybrid, "What does that all mean?"
""He cares about you too, as does Misato and Rei but how will he react if he knew what had happened?"
"Stop talking in riddles!" yelled Asuka, "Tell me, please!"
"What if he already knew?"
And it was then that Asuka woke up...
[Some Erradicatable Elements Linger Evermore]
In the cold darkness movement stirred and a dark shape emerged, the text SEELE 03 forming on its jet-black surface. "It seems Ikari is losing his grip."
"This could affect things." The weasel-tone voice of SEELE 04 replied, materialising as did several other SEELE members.
"And tip them in our favour." Said S11.
"If we wanted to oust Ikari we could use this incident." 04 was interrupted by the Russian accent of 02.
"Plus a deliberate leak of some 'evidence' regarding Dr Ikari's death."
"You always were good at providing 'evidence'." The French voice of SEELE 09 chuckled, bringing a brief moment of laughter to the Throne Of Souls. That was until the calming tones of SEELE 10 asked;
"Is it really wise to remove Ikari."
"He does plot against us..." Motioned 04,
"True." S10 conceded, "But would Fuyutski prove a less difficult obstacle than Ikari?"
"You raise an interesting point." S06 agreed, "What say you Keel?" And the final obelisk appeared, Keel did not speak for a couple of minutes and the other members respectfully waited in silence. Finally Chairman Lorenz Keel spoke -
"We will not remove Ikari. This further breakdown in the relationship between him and his son could if anything accelerate our schedule. If he is under a pressure - whatever this may be, he will make mistakes."
"Mistakes we could capitalise upon." The decidedly English sounding SEELE 03 agreed, yet Keel continued.
"The longer he continues to make mistakes the better for us all, the more he or NERV screws up the more SEELE can regain our hold over the scenario."
"NERV is dangerous under him." S08 warned in a cold whisper, "He possesses Evangelion Units 00 through 02 as well as all three current pilots. I believe MARDUKE will soon identify a suitable candidate for the Fourth Child."
"And he shall naturally be stationed in Tokyo-3 under Ikari." S11 hissed.
"Not to mention the fact he also possesses the first and second Angels." SEELE 09 added. "He holds all the cards."
"All the winds and dragons..." Keel muttered, "No. Ikari shall remain for now; the scenario shows the coming of the twelfth soon. We shall see what NERV and Ikari can do about that."
[Feelings Consist of Bad & Good]
A pair of ruby red eyes stared out of the window, their owner sighed though this was barely audible. Her gaze to the untrained eye was simply blank yet to the eyes of those who knew her well it would be obvious that Rei Ayanami was upset - something that all of three days ago would have surprised her as she then she could not feel. Not a thing. Now that was all different thanks to Shinji Ikari.
She rolled over onto her back and slowed her breathing, "I believed that Sohryu and myself were getting along. That she had finally calmed to me, calmed to herself, quenched her inner rage. Was I wrong?" Rei glanced over at the pair of glasses that lay on her chest of drawers. "Does she still hate me? Why? Was she right in what she said, should I have defended Shinji another way. Was there another path?"
Rei contemplated what had happened in the bar.
"Should I have confronted the Commander?"
"To hell with you Rei! You're a worthless, brainless, emotionless puppet just as I thought! A PUPPET! A PUPPET! A PUPPET!!!"
She looked up to the moon but it was silent, it gave her no answer this night. Rei got up and walked over to the twisted glasses, opened a drawer and pushed them into it. She could not bear to look at them this night.
"What is it that makes the Commander so emotional about his own son, about Shinji. What caused this - the emotions of father or son or the emotions I have begun to feel on the boarders of my thoughts. Is this the damage that emotions can do? Was it I who hurt Ikari? Was it my fault l-like Sohryu said... did I hurt Shinji?" She screwed up her eyes, successfully blanking out the pale and lifeless room around her. "Maybe that is why I cannot bare to return to that place - NERV medical. I have been there too much myself and to see him there again I-I cannot bare it."
If these are the nature of feelings... I...
Do not want them...
To Be Continued...
PS: Pt 2 of NGE humour fic "Yui Ikari's Swedish Sock Drawer" is online,
so please don't send me weird e-mails to me about lobsters, vomiting and other
things to try and speed it up... It doesn't help and only serves to make me
wonder about the sender's sanity and if it's truly safe to do another chapter.
ArchangelUK 0:o)
